April 2025 – Victor Harbor #2
01 April 2025 – We drive home, holding hands, me tickling his neck & the back of his head, something I have discovered he loves, his hand on my leg, just chatting about shit. I was expecting, as this is really the first real drive with him, that we would listen to music more & not talk. Music is a thing for us, we like similar music, we like lyrics, we notice them. I am thinking that we’ll have some quiet time in the car where the music with permeate & I’ll notice what was playing when the background music turns into the only noise in the car. However, the conversation doesn’t stop, we just dribble shit about everything & anything. It’s still so easy, even though we talked the whole walk around the island, we talked all lunch & the whole time we were eating ice cream. How do we have so much to say? Over text our main topics are sex & food, but face to face, yes we talk about both of those, but not a lot. We don’t have a common interest of chatting in a chat group online anymore & talking about the people in the groups like we have done before. But we talk non stop.
I also mention about geocaching & say that we should look for one & he seems really keen to do it, I guess it’s something different that I’ve never told a man about, ever… I look up the app & tell him to pull into the look out. I use the app to give us the location & we start looking, he seems less keen to get in the bushes, but I have found more than 300 of these & you get used to being in a weird spot & looking in a bush. Sometimes the GPS is a bit off, so we walk around the same spot for a while until I find it & show him what we’re looking for. The thing is that it’s different every single time, but I love that we have found one together. He doesn’t really say too much about it, so I just figure that he think I’m a mega geek, but whatever, it’s something different & if he wants to be special to me, then shit like this is fucking it!
We get home (I love saying we get home!), I get a parcel & the whole time I am opening the parcel he is behind me rubbing my tits, for someone who said we’re not having sex all day, he’s not doing a very good job of resisting me! Within a few minutes of hugging we are stripping each other & fucking over my kitchen table! He makes me sit on the table, then lifts me off & turns me around pounding me from behind. We then head into my bedroom to fuck – so much for not having a lot of sex!!
I think the hardest part of today, was not kissing. Since we’ve been in A3v2.0 we’ve been kissing a lot more, actual tongue pashing – which we did before but I feel like he didn’t use his tongue as much as he does now. We did kiss but not like this & I fucking miss it, even though it’s just been one day. I didn’t really want to kiss him because my fucking breath is rank but also because my mouth is a little sore, I don’t know what his saliva could do to my skin graft healing. I did not pay $4k for the fucking graft to fail. Not kissing while walking was ok, I mean we did a little but just pecks here & there. But not kissing while fucking was so god damn hard & on the stalker video surveillance, I can tell we both struggled with him, him probably because my breath was so gross. I know I said that I wouldn’t kiss Referee if I fucked him for $2500 but that’s not someone I adore & love & think is the sexiest man on the planet for me.
When we are dressed & he is about to leave, I pluck up the courage to give him his present, it’s in a little box that is sort of like a noodle box, he ditches that on the table & takes the keys out of the box. He sort of has this weird look briefly until he realises what it is. They are keys to my house, keys to unfettered access to me. I wish I remember the conversation better because I know he was surprised & thankful that he got a key to my house & he can see they are brand new keys that I had cut. Later he messages to thank me for the keys but says that he wasn’t asking for a key the other day – what he doesn’t know is that when we had that conversation about the key, I already had them for him. “You didn’t ask but I wanted you to have one. I had it cut last week. Brand new, no one has used it…. All yours.” He was going to be getting the no matter what. I don’t think he’ll ever use them without me knowing, but now at least when he plans to come over, like today when I could have been asleep due to the pain medication, he will be able to get in.
He tries to call me & then messages to say that he left his shoes at my house. I ask him if he needs me to meet him somewhere quickly – I know he is going out with friends tonight for a birthday dinner so if he needs them, I can meet him quickly. He says that he will come get them tomorrow, so I smile like a dickhead that he is going to come see me again tomorrow… He says that he hopes he didn’t disappoint me because of the lack of sex, I mean we had sex twice & they were pretty decent sessions, so I am certainly not disappointed. “I mean… No you don’t…. I want sex with you at all times but I love the non sex date with you.. I can’t imagine many guys looked at 10 different menus to find something soft for me to eat… Then ordering mashed potato. And chips cos I wanted them.” He says that he was expecting me to be a bit more sleepy, but he was the one who wanted to go to Victor Harbor!
He goes on a high school tour for his soon & later he tells me I left my jumper in his car – Fuck – it was not one of those ‘leave something behind so she finds it’ moments, I hope that he doesn’t think that it was, I have had so many opportunities to do that, I have never done it, I am not going to do it now… His wife has a basically brand new car so they don’t take his car out as a family anymore, so he’s hoping she won’t notice but he’s going out for dinner with friends so he’s taken her car, but says that the kids didn’t notice it. He also says that he hopes she doesn’t go through his car – um?! Is that likely?! He said he’s hidden the key under the mat & my jumper under his jumper… I mean it was a grey jumper, not like it was hot pick or something… I don’t know why but I just assume I am never going to see that jumper again. I ask why he wouldn’t take his own car knowing there is evidence in his car, he says that hers was packed behind. He’s MIA while out with friends, he doesn’t say anything about disappearing that I fall asleep & don’t see the messages that he sends me when he gets home.
02 April 2025 – The next day he is at my house after school drop off to the camp, he’s been messaging me all morning when I think would be the peak time to be dropping his son off & being with his wife, around 8:00am/8:30am. But he can message freely & is at my house shortly after 9:30am. I feel like my breath is worse today but there is not much I can do about it, I do have stiches in my mouth! He gets to use his key when he gets here because I leave the door locked & stay in bed. Like yesterday he meets me in bed & lays down with me before we have sex – so much for sexless dates & not having sex with me because we ‘can’t have sex all day’, isn’t that what he said?! Hahaha… Sucker.
We get up & I make some more crumpet protein bowls for breakfast. I love just hanging out with him doing the most mundane things like cooking breakfast together. I know that if we lived together that he would probably be in the other room on his computer or some shit, I know our situation is more intimate because we don’t get much time together that this is not normal behaviour, but I am loving that I can pretend that this is how we would be if we were living together. Oddly, I had bought some oxyshred drinks which were so disgusting, that Phoenix liked, so I kept them for him to drink. He helps himself to drinks in my fridge, just sitting there waiting for breakfast chatting to me, but often getting up to stand behind me rubbing my boobs.
It’s funny watching the security camera videos because I don’t notice how much he paces until I look back the videos, usually because I watch them in fast forward as there is no sound on them so it’s just him walking around at double time, then going to my fridge multiple times to look inside it. While he is sitting at the bench stool, I often go up to him & hug him, being that me standing & him sitting we are the same height, it’s kinda cute to watch, I know people can fake it & couples fake affection all the time but I can see in his hugs & touches that he is feeling the same as me, that being here with me like this is how it should be.
After breakfast we go back into my room, we have sex , I have a really intense orgasm – as I am about to cum, I grab his wrists & put them above his head, squeezing them hard, I use that as leverage to ride him at an angle that feel so good, I cum really really hard & must make a weird noise because he asks me if something is wrong, no I just came really hard & different to normal… It was sooo good but I don’t think I can have much more sex with him. So we lay there, touching & enjoying each other’s company. Just before 2:00pm he is adamant he has to go, saying that he has to pick up his groceries & his daughter from school, but I am a petulant child not wanting him to leave… The last two days have been the best days ever that I don’t want it to end, if he goes home then it’s over & I’m back to work tomorrow… We both agree that time went too fast though both days.
When he is waiting for his daughter to finish school, he sends a mini rant “So the most important thing I got to learn from reading your blog, was that it was okay for me to be friends with you, to love you, and even show you affection …. I mean I took a risk because the last post you made about wanting that from me was a year or two old … But it showed me it was okay to let my guard around you. And that you wanted it and missed it. And I wanted it and missed it too. But never wanted to admit it to you.” The post was posted almost 15 months ago but it was written almost two years ago so I agree with him that it was a bit of a risk on his behalf, but he can fucking see it when he was with me that he could come back to me like this anytime he wanted. He says that he never wanted to cut me off & always wanted to be friends with me, this whole time. I say that I am just cautious because he’s cut me off before “I’ve cut you off once due to circumstances outside of my control but we did keep touch to some extent. And the second time you cut me off… Not me. I was too scared too ever go back to that account and find nothing from you. I stopped checking after a week and never did it again. I sent the last messages…” I cut him because he made me feel so insignificant, he was publicly flirting with someone else in groups, while I was pouring my heart out thinking it would make a difference, then he pushed me to the edge because he was getting married…. So I’d say that I cut him because of the circumstances beyond my control. & the think that’s fucked about him not checking because he didn’t want to see that I hadn’t sent anything, but fuck does he know how it feels to check & see nothing from him when he said he’d chat when he could!? He says he deleted everything in fear of meaning nothing to me but the stupid thing about deleting everything is that I then had no way of contacting him. I couldn’t contact him on any of his real accounts, so him deleting all the fake accounts meant he didn’t want to be found again by me…
I tell him that I was never going to let my guard down with him again but he’s making it so fucking hard. I can pretend the wall is up but it is so fucking down, it is barely grains of sand at this point. I am in this. All in this. I have just given him keys to my house! “Yeah never thought you would give me keys again… That’s insane. It actually makes me feel even more special after everything. You are willing to do that.” It was the perfect gift for our situation now “So anyway, I wanted to give you a key, that makes you finally realise that you’re special to me, now matter who I fucked, where or how many times or if he was married… Something that showed you how much I trust you after eveything & how much I love you.”
#IBD4U
I've Been Dating For You 