May 2025 – Make up lunch
12 May 2025 – He asks what I mean by not talking after I finish work, he thinks that I mean I don’t want to talk ever again, “I mean, that daily, we should just chat when I’m at work & not bother about coming online at night… Just wait till the morning… No sneaky messages, no late night messages… I don’t mean I never want to chat to you again! I just think maybe work hours only… I don’t know.” I don’t really want this, but how can we keep going like this… Which means, I can’t keep going like this, he doesn’t care! & it makes me wonder why he started this v2.0, why didn’t he just leave it like it was… I totally understand that he thinks he is trying hard & making an effort, I am not denying that at all. But from my point of view he has never once refuted what I said about him actively having to get up & got to bed to ‘fall asleep’ but before that, deleting the app. It doesn’t stay on his phone, he’s never said that he doesn’t delete it some nights. I save all our chats so he’s told me he makes sure it’s deleted, even if it is in his secure folder.
He says he’s fucked off because he could have talked to me yesterday at work – well he didn’t try to keep the conversation going because I was not giving him much, but of course I get the excuse vomit “Some days I’m also busy, unfortunately I’ve usually got a bunch of adulting to do on top of everything else that includes chores and gardening and I also don’t take the risk always , literally a sneaky toilet message or something. And even if I don’t message you all the time, I feel like I message you more than anyone else ever has ….. And I genuinely do try and make and effort to message you when I can… just sometimes I can’t.” He’s always had the adulting stuff to do, even when he was working full time with a longer commute so that’s not new & just because he’s messaged me more than anyone else, doesn’t make it ok that he just logs off mid conversation, none of them were my boyfriend so I don’t give a fuck what they did.
He arrives at my work for lunch. I am hating that just seeing him, I melt & I am not as angry. We do argue about it at lunch but I easily back down with his gaslighting & making me feel like I am just being a typical girl. I hate that when I see him, my whole demeanour changes & I back down so easily. I am not normally like that in life so I don’t know how he affects me this way. I mean I don’t want to be angry & I don’t want to pissed off at him for falling asleep, but I don’t know what else to do. I know what situation I am in, that I am an overthinker & catastrophise everything, he knows this about me too so the fact we basically still only have an online relationship, that he decided he was going to change the dynamic & put in effort – but obviously only to a point…
We walk out to his car & we kiss goodbye, he pushes his hard dick against me & I can’t help but become putty in his hands, trying to remember that even though he came to meet me for lunch – only because I bitched about him doing it with his wife & because I am upset – not because he wants to see me, that I need to keep my distance so when he stops putting in effort & pulls away… He slips a finger inside me before I go back to work & I walk off upset for a different reason now, because I am horny & unsatisfied… He says via text that he doesn’t want to stop talking when I finish work & I don’t want that either, so I suggest that he tell me when he is in bed when he’s messaging… “Well would be nice not to think about you getting up & going to bed & putting your phone down & falling asleep without a goodnight.” He agrees, but am I sceptical that anything is going to change? Absolutely.
We are planning a day to Handorf on Wednesday, so I start looking at menus & where geocaches are, he doesn’t plan of course so he doesn’t really care, he’s said that I can pick the restaurant & we’ll just walk around & have a look at the shops. We also talk about what I will wear, mainly because I know he likes me in a dress but it’s going to be cooler – there’s a scene on Gilmore Girls, where Loreli is telling Luke that he doesn’t influence her shopping but then she rambles (as she does) & has the realisation that he has picked out all her favourite clothes. I couldn’t find a YouTube clip, but I found a excerpt on reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/GilmoreGirls/comments/hsnwfm/one_of_my_favorite_lukelorelai_conversations/
LUKE: But you’re always asking my opinion.
LORELAI: Yeah, but it’s the way I ask. “Isn’t this adorable?” Or “this isn’t right, right?” You know I put your answer right there in the question.
LUKE: Oh.
LORELAI: I will say, I do always like to buy one thing that you like that I don’t ’cause I know it makes you happy, like that blouse.
LUKE: You don’t like that, I thought you liked that.
LORELAI: Not really, but I liked how much you liked it, so I bought it.
LUKE: Huh.
LORELAI: And I will wear it because I know that every time I do, you’ll notice and appreciate it, and that will make me feel so good. And then because I feel so good, I’ll start wearing it more and more, and I’ll eventually really grow to like it, and I’ll forget that I didn’t like it in the first place. And holy crap, you’ve picked out all my favorite clothes.
LUKE: I knew it.
It’s so true… Phoenix will make me feel so good in some outfit that he’s suggested that he thinks I look good in – maybe without him even realising that he’s picked out my outfit for the day, maybe without me realising that I’ve let him influence what I wear. But I always feel sexier when he has had some say in what I wear & I will say this, without a doubt, if he doesn’t tell me with his voice how much he likes my outfit (Which he does do often!), his hands don’t lie, they touch me all over. His cock doesn’t lie as it stands proudly, hard against my pubic mound. His eyes don’t lie when he looks at me, for the first time that day or the last time that day. I have never felt more sexy without words… I can’t imagine anyone else ever making me feel this way.
Of course, even though he does say good night tonight, we are mid conversation when he sends, “Shit i gotta go. Night xox.” He knows what time she finishes work on a Monday night, so why doesn’t he wrap up the conversation better & not make me feel like shit… Like does she walk in the door & ask for his fucking phone as soon as she gets home?! Surely he doesn’t have to log off so rapidly?! I can’t let this bother me. I just need to somehow get over it… Or do I?
13 May 2025 – The next morning I say something about not bothering to make me feel special & he says that he makes me feel special when I cum, I say “My vibe makes me feel special… If that’s the benchmark.” But he retorts, “Does your vibe kiss you ? Rub your tummy? Hold you ? Whisper dirty things into your ear ? Grab your tiny waist ? Grab your tits? Suck your clit? Kiss your neck? Slam you into a wall and make out with you ? Slip a finger into you in the middle of a car park ?” When you put it that way… Fuck I’m hard! He then sends me a picture of him for our snapchat streak & fuck it is literally the hottest pic I have ever seen of him. It’s just his face in his black work hoodie, there is dim lighting but it’s sexy as fuck. I grab a vibe out & I think about all those things that he has just said & how he looks & I cum so fucking hard. I video it, saying his name as I cum & send it to him. His boss hadn’t rocked up to work so I say he should have called me, so he could hear it live.
We talk about using our names during sex, I am more comfortable saying his name, during sex than I ever has been. I always thought that he didn’t say my name because her name starts with the same letter & it would be easily mixed up… I mean I am not gonna lie, if he called me her name I would be fucking pissed & I don’t know what I would do – I would struggle to cum after that, but I don’t know what would happen. I would know it wasn’t on purpose, but I would be upset abut it for sure…
Then he says “Fuck I might need to fake I’m at work tommorw and get you to pick me up.” Oh fuck, he’s going to bail! I have taken the day off work for our trip to Hahndorf & now he’s going to bail because he fucking forgot something. He says that his wife is telling him she feels sick so he’s just going to leave his car as a precaution… I get she’s on Ozempic but is she ever not sick?! I say that if he has to cancel it’s all good & I will call my boss & go to work instead, I don’t want to waste a annual leave day sitting at home feeling sorry for myself while he is offline, unable to chat to me when she is at home, of course…
I ask him if he wants to call me on his break today – this has become our daily phone call, a short 30 minutes but I go for a walk around the block, just a short 2km walk & chat about all sorts of shit with him. “Yeah , I enjoy ringing my girlfriend on my break 🙂” Awww fuck! I love our phone calls too… I am surprised when he tells me that he likes our calls. I have always been obsessed with being an obligation, so I love when he tells me that he loves the calls & that he actually wants to call me just for a chat on our breaks. I go for my walk, then eat at my desk, which is pretty much what the whole team does – one chick goes shopping every single lunch, I go for a walk & talk to my sexy boyfriend who’s voice calms me instantly when I hear it.
By the time he logs off for the night, he is saying that he will drop the kids off & he’ll drive himself to my house in the morning. I tell him that he can let me know tomorrow if he needs me to pick him up, I will be awake fairly early anyway, for months since this A3V2.0 started, I’ve been waking so fucking early, before my alarm to chat to him as much as I can, because he’s told me that’s what he wants too, but I seem to be the only one showing it… He says that I better be awake when he gets here, I remind him that he has keys & he says that he forgot, I say “Bahaha…. You use them like you own the joint so don’t know how you forgot… 🤣” I am joking of course, but I do like that he has been confident to use them without telling me, it tells me that he trusts me when I say he is my boyfriend & I am not fucking anyone else. I say that I have sort of been expecting him to come over one day when I am not home just to fuck up my organised fridge, drop me off some of the protein custard I love & I’ll come home & be like what the fuck… When I think about him sneaking in though when I am not here, I am reminded of the ninja pack up when he came to my house, used my keys, got his stuff & left, without ever seeing me again… Hmmmmm….
#IBD4U
I've Been Dating For You 