July 2025 – Little Miss A
06 July 2025 – You bet I am so fucked off… What the fuck is wrong with him that he couldn’t tell me that they all had the day off & he wouldn’t be online? But honestly what the fuck is wrong with me so still putting up with this fucking cruel move that he constantly does no matter how much I tell him how much it hurts & he just doesn’t give two fucks. He is just cruel, heartless & callous. “Good morning. How was your Saturday, miss me much ? I had a busy day out with the family, taking the kids out the house while there on school holidays.” How hard was that to tell me the night before when he was chatting to me? Or yesterday morning before he just logged off in the morning?! Surely if they went out, his wife & him would of had showers, toilet, getting dressed to go out & he could have quickly messaged. OH FUCK. I forgot, he had told me before he doesn’t take his phone in the shower anymore & recently, he’s alluded to the fact they shower together so that’s why he can’t message when he’s in there… Fuck, I don’t want to think about that. But he has told me she takes forever to get ready when they go out, so surely he would have time to say to me he’s going out all day?! Even in his good morning message… Nope apparently, I mean so little to him that he can’t do the ONE FUCKING THING I ask of him! I wish I could do the one thing he asks me not too, tell his wife!
I say glad you had a good day & he asks how my weekend has been & if I am coming to see him today – did I even know you were at work fuckwit?! I just say “Probably won’t have time if yoy don’t know what time your break is.” He says that it’ll be in half an hour & I say “ok.” I do not get up & rush around to make it to his work like I normally would. He doesn’t do it for me, so why do I keep doing it?! Especially after yesterday. He obviously sees on my snap maps that I am at home & that I have not gone to his work so he calls me. I am so upset & destroyed, that he just thinks I am angry & being moody because I have my period. Good one dickhead.
One thing that I haven’t delved into yet is this chick at Phoenix’s work who is 21 or 22 years old, skinny & hot. He tells me that there are rumours going around his work that they are into each other. He literally brings her up with me so much in our phone calls, that I say that he is going to end up fucking her, that I ask him to end it with me before he does. He says that he doesn’t want to fuck her & that he doesn’t want to end it with me – at least he added in the last bit. He had said on Wednesday about my bosses’ weird shit, one resigning & the other being on extended leave, “This is another reason why I would never try to have an affair with someone I work with.” But I’m sure if he could, there is no doubt in my mind that he would ‘fuck her in a heartbeat’.
It makes me super jealous & probably what is contributing to my mood when he logs off & doesn’t talk to me, that I almost start calling her his girlfriend, but I know that’s something his wife would call her if she knew about her & I don’t want to be that possessive, so I give her a Little Miss nickname because he won’t – weirdly – tell me her name. He doesn’t need to try to make me jealous, I am already jealous of his life, his wife, his kids, his fucking Facebook page – they all get more condiserarion than I do. Hell, I was even jealous of the chick he was going to do a podcast with… I just wish this chick wasn’t flaunting it in front of my boyfriend, who knows he is married. I already have enough competition fighting for his time over his wife, kids, work, sleep, Facebook, mowing the lawn, so I don’t need another chick to fight for his time too. I have started calling her LMA for her Little Miss A pseudonym that I gave her, & Phoenix has started doing the same… I hate it cos the initials thing is ours… Not that we do it very often because we barely say hello or goodbye anymore…
He tries my tactic when I dont talk much, to talk about sex cos like I said, it’s the only thing that we don’t get angry about – usually. He says “IBD4U sucks dick good.” But I say that he’ll never feel it again. “Pfft. You’ll want my cock in you. And you can’t help sucking because you love the noises I make and the feeling of me getting hard in your mouth.” I say that he has others for that & he says that I do it best, “The chick at work might be better… 🤷🏼♀️” But he says, that she’s not sucking his dick, I say “Yet.” He would do it, they have great banter apparently, so don’t bullshit me that I am the best when you would fuck her if you could, “Haha you think she would want too? Well im heading off line, chat later x” I tell him to ask her & see, but he says, “Na probally get done for sexual harassment. Well goodnight for tonight then.” I don’t reply. As if he asks that when logging off, fucking cunt.
07 July 2025 – When I’ve been writing, I forgot about Little Miss A because there isn’t a lot of text chat about her, it’s all verbal chat in our phone calls & fuck does he go on about her… I can even tell when they are on shift together because he messages me less, if that’s even possible at this point. Just another thing I have to complete with, another thing for me to be feel insignificant, his descriptive words about her are ‘skinny & hot’ while I feel so fucking fat at the moment. The weight loss study is due to start but with my new job, I am not sure I can commit to the days that they need you to be at the clinic, so I have wasted the last month doing all the screening crap when I could have just paid for some injection.
After some cordial good mornings, I tell him that the team now knows I have resigned. He asked how they took it & I say that were sad but not surprised, I think they are more pissed off that they aren’t replacing my role. I mean I work hard & so do the girls but there is so much that is not really needed to be done, so maybe they are going to review processes.
He calls me & I’m sure that he says something about my mood & Little Miss A, paired with the way he treated me on the weekend, that I am just not in the mood to be nice to him or make it easy for him to chat to me. I wait for him to get more stubborn & more pissed off, which is coming but he says, “You done with the sass now?” No, Phoenix, I am not, “No, cos what have you done – not sexual – to make me not be sassy??? Nothing. Besides say ‘I can’t chat to you all the time’ I never fucking asked you too… All I have ever asked of you, if you really reflect on 8 years with me, is for you to communicate when you are going offline…” I’ll give him credit, he tries to lighten the mood, “I’ll take you feedback on board and try and improve my communication.” I say sarcastically, “Like you’re even capable of that.” I’ve said this over & over. He says that he is capable of things, but I know he is home so I say, “Well you’re home now, so incapable of chatting. So speak tomorrow.” & he tries his funny reply “Your feedback is important to Phoenix. We will make sure to pass it onto the relevant parts of his brain.” & I just say goodnight. It is about 12:00pm on a Monday, when he can talk at night because she’s at work, but I can’t keep doing this to myself.
He says that he doesn’t need to go & so I say his usual shit that he says to me, “Good night, you need sleep & can’t chat to me 24/7.” But he says that he can chat to me tonight, “Stop being a fuckwit fuckfish.” I hate that fuckfish makes me smile, but I say, “I’m not… 🤷🏼♀️ You can’t chat 24/7 & are an old man. You need sleep. & to mow your lawns before the sun goes down. You have a busy life. You cannot give me all of your attention.” I give him all his excuses so he doesn’t need to give them to me, because I don’t look at any of his messages, he keeps sending me stupid shit that other men send when they’re chatting to themselves in my inbox, “I can’t. But I don’t need to know mow my lawns today because my bin day is today. So you like stuff. I’m a kinky master. You would look hot tied up. Want to see my cock? I bet you would enjoy being spanked. I also like long walks along the beach? What are your interests ? Where in Adelaide you from? Do you mind if the guy is a little younger than you? I would eat your pussy out for hours , can I eat your pussy ?” When in finally look, I smirk, but I can play this game, “Sorry, I can’t chat to you 24/7, I’m very busy. I have kids & a wife, I can’t be messaging you all the time. I work & am an influencer plus I do all the housework & mow the lawns. I also need 12 hours of sleep a night.” This is just stupid but I am not letting this go, he says, “Wow you sound like a busy person How do you even find the time to chat to me !” Oh yeah so busy, “I chat to you as much as I can. I just don’t care how you feel when I don’t chat or communicate about what I’m doing & why I’m offline.” He says that he chats to me more that any one, I think this is such an odd thing he keeps saying, I’m his fucking girlfriend, he should chat to me the most! The more annoyed I get the longer he takes to reply to each message, even though he is home alone, that I just crack it “Urgh, you’ll never get it. What is the point. You’re clearly too busy – said earlier you’re free to chat tonight, why do I even bother???” He says he does get it but I log off & don’t reply.
08 July 2025 – He asks if I am talking to him but I ask the same back, it’s not me that’s not talking. When he calls for his lunch we just fight about it, I don’t know what to do at this point, “Honestly, what do you suggest I do?? Just be ok with the fact you just log off whenever you want & I have no way of knowing if you’re alive???” but he says that he’s alive. I get home early & he calls me again but our conversations are the same… Me being pissed off & him just saying he can’t chat to me all the time. This conversation he says multiple times ‘do what you need to do’ that when we hang up, I ask “You keep saying ‘do what you need to do’ – do you just want to end this?? Is that what you keep alluding too…” Does he want me to end it? Does he want to end it? Does he want to go back to just being fuck buddies?! Why did he say he missed me so much if he doesn’t even want to talk to me now? “Your feedback is important to us. Thank you for signing up for the boyfriend experience package, on a scale of one to ten, how would your rate your experience with Phoenix. I mean get angry not end it…” I get that he is trying to make jokes & lighten the mood, “My experience as a boyfriend = 0. My experience as a lover = 10” He thinks he should be at least a 4. “I get that this is hard… But when I don’t talk to you, you don’t care cos you’re fucking your wife or with your kids… So you don’t care that your girlfriend isn’t contacting you… I don’t have another life I lead, regardless of work or having kids of my own… So my life is about my boyfeiend – who I want to talk to & share shit with & not just be an after thought after he’s mowed the lawns & everyone is in bed.” I can’t remember which phone conversation he told me but he’d basically chosen mowing the lawns one night over messaging me – don’t you all remember when he mowed the lawns & chatted to me, even sending a selfie?! Now, somehow it’s impossible… I love coming second to mowing the fucking lawns!
We talk about my blog being re-published “Mind you I do think you put your blog back up because you secretly love knowing your on my mind. That Im thinking of you or reading about you but not always showing you. Loser.” I tell him what I have been thinking, “Well when you were reading, you talked to me more… And were sweeter to me.” He ignores that & says, “I’ve been reading it again. 😛 I was also a cunt often to you 🤷♂️” Yes, you were Phoenix & you are the biggest cunt to me now, more than anything mean you’ve ever said to me…
#IBD4U
I've Been Dating For You 