April 2025 – Suggestions
26 April 2025 – It’s a Saturday, I know he’s at work because he sent me his roster – I will never be sure if I am ok with that, I want him to send it to me because he wants me to know not because he feels like he has too. But knowing he has been at work since 6:00am, so he would have been up since 4:00am & not messaged me, speak volumes. He’s already set the scene of not messaging me every day & I’ve seen this game before, him pulling me in & letting me go again, like a fish on a fishing line. Fuck Fish! It’s not a new game, but I am prepared for it this time…
At 7:45am, I get a message, “You done being a stubborn bitch or are we going to keep doing this?” Well if he thinks that’s the way to get out of this alive, so be it. I tell him I am not being stubborn but he says that I haven’t messaged for two days – we have messaged every day for the record, but he hasn’t messaged me either, what does he want from me?! He says it works both ways, but I say “Yeah it does… But when my boyfriends reaction to me being pissed is to get pissed at me & leave me on read. I’m not making an effort.” He says good luck with that next time. I don’t think I am in the wrong here, that I say, “Great, good to know I can’t be honest to express feelings & be treated with respect.” Of course, he says that I can, but I can’t, “Clearly not unless I want to be called a stubborn bitch & not be spoken to for 2 days then blamed for it.” Mr narcissist turns it around & says that clearly he can’t get pissed at me then, well fuck mate, you get pissed about my blog every fucking day & I have to make things right – I constantly message & reassure him, it’s rare that he ever makes it right when I am pissed – he’s even said himself before that we are here today because of the effort I have put in. We fight over who is right or wrong, I am not getting my point across at how upset I was & how he usually senses it.
I have to drop my sisters dogs back to her house, so I offer up lunch, but he seems disinterested, saying he is not sure what time his break will be. I know he never knows & he knows I want to see him so I don’t ever mind waiting. So I just say, “all good.” Fuck him, he’s a wanker. But who’s the bigger wanker?! I am in the car with the dogs when he says that he’ll be on his break in 30 minutes, so I drop the dogs off & go visit him for his 30 minute lunch break.
After seeing him, I am more relaxed, not because he made me cum, but because we hugged, we kissed, we talked. Our relationship being mostly online takes its toll sometimes & it will be the reason why it ends eventually. It’s easy to just put our phones down & ignore each other, being stubborn. He has nothing with me – no house, no kids, no pets, no assets, no evidence that we were something, not even a photo, nothing, so it’s easy to just let me go & leave me as a memory (That’s if he lets himself think about me!). If it was his wife, he would have to back down eventually because they live together, sleep together, have everything together – I mean he once fucked me after going to her work to make up with her after a fight, but in our situation, he just logs off & I have no idea if he’s ever going to log on again. I have no other way to contact him, so I just have to wait.
27 April 2025 – He talked to me after midnight for the first time in ages, that after he logs off, I send a good morning message before I go to sleep, so I can get in first & show him that I care for him & he is not just like every other man (who I never texted first!), he should fucking know that!
I wake up super horny, probably because I have been pissed off for a few days & haven’t had sex, I start by saying, “I really want you this morning… Very hard thick cock to slide up & down on, slow, deep, sensual fucking…” I get the reaction I want, even though I know that he’s home today & it’s her day off so he won’t be able to sext me or see me, “Hmm someone’s fuckin horny! I love our hard slow sensual fuckin. Fuck you made me hard grr.” Me too, sometimes when I ride him slow & deep, it’s so good that my orgasms can go on for a few seconds longer than other orgasms. As we’re chatting about him fucking my ass & how he loves me guiding his cock into my cunt with my hand, when he randomly calls me. He is driving. I love these random calls, I am still in bed, so wet & horny, that I guess he’s just gone out because he needed to jerk off & we are going to have phone sex. He had told me other day that someone had trapped one of their many cats in a cat trap, so today he’s going to buy a cat run, he’s going to the PetBarn near my house, that I start begging him in a soft, sexy, sensual voice to come over & fuck me, I tell him I have a vibe on my cunt… I keep spurring him on that it will be super quick because I am so wet & juicy… He thought he was just calling to have phone sex & listen to me cum on his drive.
Before I know it, he says fuck it & that he’s in his wife’s car so doesn’t have my house key but is on his way – then he makes sure that I know, in no uncertain terms that he can’t stay long. Ok dude, I get it! He pulls into my driveway & hangs up from me, I have unlocked the door for him & gotten back into bed. He is at my house for 20 minutes & it is the horniest I have been in a long time. He slides his hard thick cock into me before he even kisses me hello because I am laying in bed with my legs spread ready for him. As he enters me, he leans over to kiss me & we fuck, hard & fast. Fuck, it’s hot, quick, sensual & sexy, just what I needed this morning. We both cum, after our less than 30 minute phone conversation & 20 minute sex – which actually wasn’t 20 minutes because he also had a shower, before he is out the door.
After he leaves, we send a few messages before he calls me again on the way from PetBarn to home & says goodbye. I send a couple of messages throughout the day, but they are left on unread as he’s not online. What a great feeling that is… He sends a couple of messages later in the afternoon around dinner time, but I am falling asleep waiting for him to come back online, which is usually around 8:00pm but I go to sleep & at 10:00pm, he says “I don’t think I’m coming online tonight so goodnight x. Love you and chat tomorrow X.” But I don’t get it till the next day.
28 April 2025 – I wake up around 2:30am chucking my guts up… I don’t know why, I did eat a lot of pizza & had a couple of wines at my sisters but not enough wine to vomit, but I do have really bad reflux. I was overthinking a lot yesterday after he fucked me – which makes me stress & upsets my tummy. He tells when he comes online, that he can’t always chat & there will be days where he is totally unavailable, he does remind me that he called me twice for 30 minutes each & did sneakily & very riskily fuck me – he says when he got home they were setting up the cat run, which I understand. Just makes me sad sometimes that I don’t get the life I want with him, which is without him sharing his with someone else…
I try to suggest, being their deck is basically brand new, like a year or two old that he get some lino to put under the cat run as cat piss is just gross even with a litter tray & it’ll seep into the wood, which will stink & be gross, plus my cat vomited hair balls a lot as she had longer hair, imagine that on wood. I put lino in my cat run, because the piss seeped into the bricks & the lino made it waterproof & I was able to just mop up any mess – & I only had one cat, he has five in this tiny PetBarn cat run! But Phoenix knows better & says that he’ll be using his amazing floor cleaner on it… – Um gross. I don’t know why, this isn’t specific to Phoenix, but I really hate when I have a good idea & people dismiss it. He does it a lot. This annoys me with him, especially since I know that he’s not the cleanest person in the world, so I don’t think that he will be cleaning his deck or the litter trays for that matter, as regularly as he says he will, he sends me a photo of the cat run set up & it takes up a lot of room on their small deck & there is nothing covering the wood, so it’ll ruin their deck, not that they probably refinish it or anything like they should. Why do I give a fuck about their deck?!
29 April 2025 – Today all we talk about is food & how many calories Dr Phoenix thinks I should be eating & what I should be doing to lose weight. He says I don’t need he gym, but I do, I hate working out but I need to work out for my mental wellbeing & also helps me eat better. Of course, this has always been one of our top topics over the years but now our nutrition conversations cannot happen without a mention of his wife on Ozempic & how little she eats now, not to mention how sick she feels. I get that he is trying to help me & I love the help he offers but why the fuck does he need to bring up his wife, is it so I go get an injection & lose weight myself, so I stop complaining or so look better for him?! Or is he trying to say that I shouldn’t get it because it just makes you feel sick?! I never ask but I try not to let comments about how much weight she loses make me sad & want to eat. I get that I am his best friend & he doesn’t talk about her with anyone, so of course I would be the only option but fuck it’s really a struggle to hear anything about her, because she sounds lazy & boring – she’s constantly sick but of course I only get one side of the story…
I get home & open plex, it’s a Tuesday & he’s downloaded the handmaids tale for me, today also his plex account now has a picture of him in the profile, which wasn’t there before. Did he does that for my benefit? He says he didn’t update it; it must have linked to Facebook – because I have his log in, so I say that I will update the picture to one of me or one of our bitmojis together. He asks me not too & says that he does trust me.
30 April 2025 – He says something about seeing me on the weekend & I say that I don’t want to take time away from his kids, he reminds me that I can take up a little of his time, I say “I want to see you of course. I just don’t want to be the reason you aren’t seeing them.” But he says “Well I will need to skip them sometimes for you.” I guess he does see them everyday from 4:00pm when they get home until they go to bed. But he did choose them over me & they are his number one thing (as they should be) so I don’t ever want to be the reason he doesn’t see them.
He shares his blog with me. His blog is more like articles on topics, but he is a good writer & I really like it, which is what I tell him. Because he wants to make money of it, I ask him if he wants me to edit it for him, I don’t want to be a negative Nancy about it. I copy & paste it into a word document & I track the changes that I make. He goes to sleep really early, so I spend ages reading it & editing it before I send it to him. Saying “Morning baby, I sent you an email to your Phoenix email with my suggestions for your blog… I won’t be offended if you don’t use my suggestions, I just want to help your blog is successful for Google ads.” I want him to succeed; I want to help… I also am wide awake, that I write a blog post for him on Cheezels. When I finally get the courage to send it to him for him to read & post, under an ails – he doesn’t. & ironically, he never uses my suggested changes either, he barely ever posted on it & now, I can’t even find the page so he must have unpublished it… Which is weird because he still has TikTok & YouTube that he never posts on either.
#IBD4U
I've Been Dating For You 