August 2025 – Her Car
12 August 2025 – He asks how our snap streak ended but to be perfect honest, I thought it should have ended sooner, he hasn’t sent anything since Friday & I thought you both had to send something in a 24 hour period for it to go up. I say that we may as well let it expire because when he goes to Japan, he won’t be sending me snaps then. He says “I might ! You never know.” Um, yeah I do… “You can’t even message me while you wife is in the shower & you’re in a 3bed house with a back & front yard to hide in… You think you’re going to message while sharing a tiny hotel room??” When he says “I would make some time.” I literally laugh out loud & text back that I won’t hold my breath. Is he fucking joking?? He is such a bullshiter.
We chat on the phone for his break & then text a little about my work. I am feeling spontaneous – if that’s the right word, so I call him on my way home but he doesn’t answer, he texts & asks if I meant to call him & I say yes, he says “Haha why. Im picking my kids up.” Don’t they always catch the bus & don’t get home for another 20 minutes?! I say don’t worry & goodnight. He says, “Goodnight sweet pea. 🫛” & then sends me a picture of leek & potatoes soup for dinner. I don’t write back, even though I want to ask for him to save me a serve, he wouldn’t have anyway, even if I did ask… The time for sweet pea is over…
13 August 2025 – This morning he sends, “Good morning beautiful.” To which I ask why he is sucking up… Sweet Pea last night & beautiful this morning but it does lighten my mood – if only he would see simple things like that help… We call for my break today as he’s finished work & his shopping apparently because I whinge when he talks to the checkout people.
He sends me a picture of his bubble-gum ice cream with nerds & fruit tingles that he made with his ice cream maker thing, I ask if he can be my daddy, he says you just want ice cream, which I don’t see what the problem with that is. He asks what flavour I want & I say Biscoff.
I find an article that is totally us when I read it, & I say that we do all six things.
6 Things Couples With Steamy Sex Lives Do Differently Every Day
- They Engage In Freaky Foreplay
- They Try New Positions
- They Make Sure To Change The Scenery
- They Role Play
- They Keep Things Romantic
- They Have Sex At All Different Times
He takes ages to reply to the article, it’s not that long so he’s not off reading it, so I say goodnight. “I will make you a biscoff one, one day! Oh we have steamy sex 😜Good night my cupcake.” Not sure what is with all the nicknames that make me smile. Spoiler alert, I never get any biscoff ice cream! Not even a taste of one of the flavours he made for the kids!
14 August 2025 – Today’s hello is “Good morning sexy pants.” Which makes me smile too, he has today off so he’s on his bike, when he mentions something about a store he used to work at, because it’s a technology store, I innocently ask why he quit there. I am at work, so I don’t look at my phone – I won’t copy & paste his whole reply because it’s very telling of where he worked but I get 834 words of a reply… Telling me about that work, the work I met him at & the current work & how he ha been bullied & treated like shit despite being a good worker. I mean, I know what that feels like! I apologise for triggering him…
He says that he put snap on his computer today – um, you don’t need to put it on your computer, you just go the website but whatever. He calls me for lunch & we talk about the fact that no matter what he does he can’t win with me, it’s not a fight – it’s something I have been reflecting on. So when we get off the phone I say, “So I know how you can win with me… You remember on Saturday at my house you were sitting in bed, crossed legged, hands neatly in your lap…” & he says how, I say “Just answer me, do you remember sitting like that?” & he says yes, so as I giggle, I say, “To win with me… Sit like that, while on the phone with me 😋 Because you are sitting still & quiet…” He says that he came a few times so he was relaxed, so I tell him to jerk off before he calls me. We laugh as he says he’s like that all the time… Which I know… This jerking off talk gets us onto our mutual masturbation then onto the fight & how he look disinterested when I was rubbing my cunt on his dick, he says he would have backed down, but I don’t think he would have. He never backs down – just read this fucking blog!! “Not going into it now, I’m about to go home & say goodnight. Night have a good evening. Have a good day off tomorrow with your wife sitting right next to you ALL day!. Chat sat.” I give him an out for tomorrow… I won’t mesaage him to chat, unless he does. He says, “Goodnight honey pot xx.”
15 August 2025 – Today’s conversation is just as expected “Good morning. Well not next tto me. But not far!” So I just say “Morning. Have a good day, chat tomorrow!” He won’t read that so I don’t know what I bothered, but he sends me meme which says ‘When she asks me why I never let her see my dick when it’s soft – I’m afraid, all right?’ & he says “You never know” You never know what?! That he’ll chat or show me his dick soft?! I send a snap of me at lunch, missing his call & I say I braved the weather for a walk still. No reply.
16 August 2025 – I know he’s at work, he didn’t give me his roster but he’s told me that this weekend, he starts at 6:00am on Saturday & 7:00am on Sunday. I don’t get a hello from him until well into his shift, he will argue it wasn’t that long but I know he was up at least an hour or more before his shift, it was after 6:30am when he finally remembered me & he hasn’t even bothered to say hello? Am I being the dramatic one?
It’s been a week since we saw each other, I work in the city one day a week now, so it’s not quite as far as the usual office. & his dentist is in the city – which he had cancelled his check up a while ago because I worked from home at my old job – so he could come to the city. But we still have fight about him coming to see me at my work for a change. I know I had said I didn’t want him to come to my work anymore when I was in my old job which was close. But I also don’t want to be the only one keeping up with these lunch break dates that HE FUCKING STARTED!!!
Again he says today that the store manager has cut hours so Saturdays are really busy so he can’t chat much, I say that I hope it gets better. Hours later he says he’ll be on a break soon, I say ok. I have heated up lunch, added salt & pepper, packed a drink & snacks & am on my way. Like an absolute fucking twat.
I pull into his work & where his car usually is – something I always look out for, not sure why but I usually notice that it’s there, always parked in the same spot, close to the intersection, my belief is so that she can see it because he’s told me she drives past every day after getting her coffee, so she must have said something to him to make him park there every time. But his car isn’t there today, it’s her car. Her bright blue car sitting in his spot. Why the fuck does that piss me off so much? It will 100% not mean anything to him besides her car was behind his & he’s not working late so she won’t need it, but to me it’s a clear sign that he wants to remind me that he is married & not leaving her, knowing I would be coming to his work today… I am already in a bad mood, I have driven all this way with fucking lunch for someone that clearly isn’t interested in me anymore & making that perfectly clear, but am I just too dumb to notice! Or just too dumb to want it to end that I am hanging on the scrap of time he now offers me. To top it off, I am in a foul mood, because my tenant has said there is an electrical problem at my unit, the electrician that I called this morning have told me that it’ll be a $400 call out fee for a Saturday, plus parts & time to fix it… FFS.
He writes to me as I am parking “I take it you don’t want to see me today.” but I tell him that I am already there & I have food, he says ‘oh really’, which he can see on snap maps, so he comes out to my car. I wish I had a poker face but I am so fucking annoyed. Annoyed at how he’s treating me, annoyed at the cost of the electrician, annoyed he has her car at work, knowing I was coming to see him today – it’s like he just wants to rub her in my face to get me to end it. I am well aware of the situation every time I look at the two rings on his fingers. One his wedding ring & one some other ring that appeared about a year or so ago, assuming a Christmas present in 2023. He did use to wear some leather bracelet thing, I noticed that one day we broke it during sex, which I assume was from her too. But anyway, he doesn’t need to rub in my face he’s with her. That he’s driving her car. I am very well aware of this situation & how fucked it is for me. I wish I had that awareness from him.
One thing I hate the most is that I get such limited time with Phoenix & I am so pissed about something that shouldn’t upset me that much. This electrician shit is in my head. In the end – one calls me when I am with Phoenix to tell me that they aren’t even going to go out today. Dad & I end up going to the unit & fix it for $15, so I am a bit happier, but I haven’t had a message from Phoenix since I left him, he knew I was shitty & did nothing to make it better or reassure me that I am just being a fuckwit, so I say goodnight at 11:15am, it’s not like he wants to make a fucking effort now anyway, so if I say goodbye first then I can be the one that controls the conversation, take back the little control I have. He replies, “Ahh okay. Hope you sorted a electrician. Chat again soon!” & he sends a picture at 12:00pm, of new headphones he’s bought for our daily phone calls. “Hopefully I sound better on these!”
I don’t respond, he’s offline anyway, what’s the point. He will never understand the message sitting there unread for hours, days or weeks even like he’s done to me. He wouldn’t put up with it, if the roles were reversed here, he would be onto the next thing, he wouldn’t wait around for me. I mean when I get angry, he has to be more angry… Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried that. I’ve tried that so many times to move on, but obviously it never worked. But with his lack of empathy & compassion, he would literally move on without a care in the world for me. Yet here I am, always waiting. For eight years I have waited for a snippet of his time.
You know, he calls himself my boyfriend, well in actual fact he never really said it on the first place & he barely ever says the boyfriend/girlfriend words anymore or if he does it’s so rare I don’t recall him saying it – lets not even mention the word love, that’s non existent now. So maybe it’s me, I say the word boyfriend too much to him? I tell him I love him way more than he ever tells me now, which is hard for me to say being that I haven’t ever said it to anyone before, especially when it’s now never said to me in any other way but a response to me saying it first. Why is it so hard to end this, for either of us? He’s checked out & destroying what friendship we have & it’s almost like I need the friendship to be so destroyed that it unrepairable, so I can walk away…
#IBD4U
I've Been Dating For You 