At this point, Milky gets a new job so I guess that’s why I don’t see him for a couple of weeks, he still is reliable & texts on Thursdays at 7:30 pm to ask how my week has been & then we always text for a bit, working out if each other is free on the weekend on not. We only catch up twice in a month when before that we were seeing each other weekly, so I keep my casual hat on even though I stayed over at his house before having to meet for a friend’s birthday lunch, where everyone said how amazing I looked, yeah because I woke up, he spoon fucked me before I came to lunch – of course I look good, I’m rocking the ‘just fucked look!’
But then he’s busy one weekend, the next weekend I’m away in the infamous Moonta doing stupid things with a complete jock of a boy! He texts me to catch up the following weekend on the Friday night (we usually do Saturday nights) & I’m busy, I have friends coming over, so I say come over after, but he said he’d be asleep by then & he’s got a 21st on the Saturday night.
I’m not sure if any of you have read that book ‘He’s just not that into you’? Well basically it says that if a guy isn’t trying to sleep with you, then he’s just not that into you. There is no variation on this rule; any excuse a guy uses means he’s just not that into you. I mean that book should be burned, because I always come back to it, assuming that because Milky wouldn’t stay awake long enough to come to my house means ‘he’s just not that into you’ so I should say no worries & move on.
Sitting all alone on Saturday night, about 7:30 pm when he texts to say he’ll be finished about 10 pm so I could come over then. I don’t know why, but I pretend that I’m out for dinner & say ‘yeah sure, I should be finished dinner by then so let me know.’ So while getting ready for being ‘fake out for dinner’ it gets to 10 pm & still nothing more from him. At 10:30 pm I think he’ll text me soon, so I’ll get in my car, go for a drive closer to his house to presume the dinner pretence that I’m not 40 mins away at my house. I make a deal with myself that if he hasn’t text by half way, then I’ll put petrol in my car & go home (like a loser!)
He doesn’t text & I get all the way home, in my Pj’s & think I’ll just send him a quick ‘Sorry we didn’t catch up text but I’ve just dropped my friend home & I’m on my way home too.’ (WTF? There is something wrong with me…) Anyway he finally texts apologising saying his sister is his ride but should be home soon. We text a bit & I end up saying that I could still go to his house, if he was still awake. So I go… Yes I’m stupid but at this point my vagina is thinking for me. So I rock up about 1 am, like a booty call, and we have a drink watch some ridiculous Asian subtitle movie, that had to be some sort of satire before he kisses me, we fool around for a while before I realise what his game is, he’s prepping me for some ass sex. I seriously lose count of how many times he makes me cum with his fingers, his mouth, his fingers again, I’m so relaxed & satisfied that he’s able to slip it in my ass before I even really notice it. It doesn’t hurt me at all like it had with other guys who do the “surprise anal”, it just feels amazing, I had a feeling I would like it, but I didn’t realise just how much! He switches positions & I end up lying on my front for him to finish & me to go again! We shower & go to bed, everything seeming normal. The next morning, he gets up, gets dressed but comes back to bed & says he doesn’t want to kick me out but his dad is coming over at lunchtime, I basically jump up & leave. I’ve never felt more used than I did that morning.
When his usual text doesn’t come at 7:30 pm the following Thursday night, I feel even worse about having anal sex with him, but I have to be up at 5:00 am on Friday, so I text him as it’s the time he wakes up too. I don’t get a response till about 6:00 pm where we text a bit, but I’m out so I text back later when I am on the tram & say how I’ve parked at the entertainment centre (which is close to his house) but by the time he invites me over or says ‘you could have stopped into my place after the show haha’ but I’m over halfway home & bloody buggered as it’s almost 10:00 pm & I’ve been up since 5:00 am.
The next night I am at a wedding, I text him as I’m leaving about 11:00 pm to ask what he’s up too, he says just drinking & watching TV. I said I’m leaving & driving home now. He cracks a joke about me falling off furniture & that’s the last I hear from him that night. I can’t help but feel like he’s pulling away, I know we’re not exclusive & we’re not in a relationship but have I stuffed up something that wasn’t even anything with the first boy I’ve really liked in ages?