Category: Dating

Well I feel fucking shit! Even though I know I shouldn’t. (If you didn’t already Orbit yet, then I suggest you go back & read it before you read this… It’ll make more sense – there is lots of Noodle references.) I make the decision not to tell anyone about Orbit – I never told Noodle I was chatting to him, so what’s the point in telling him that I had terrible sex with him. I don’t want to tell anyone at all, I don’t tell any of my friends even, because then it makes it real. That post was the only time I’ve ever talked about Orbit.

But I refuse to tell Noodle what I have done! I’m single, I shouldn’t feel bad about this, but I do! Why? Is it because the sex wasn’t that great? Is it because I have feelings for Noodle? Why do I feel so shit about this? I guess, if I tell anyone about this, then I also have to explain to them, that I am not as loyal as I thought I was… I used to value my loyalty, this is a core value of mine, that at the first sign of trouble, I throw it out the window… I hate that more than fucking another man.

The next morning, I wake up to a message from Noodle saying the usual good morning & sorry that he fell asleep last night. We talk as usual, I am feeling so ridiculous. Noodle just says that he fell asleep last night & of course my mind wanders… His partner is pregnant, probably about 3 or 4 months now & I hear this is the time that women get really horny. I am certain that when he “falls” asleep, that he’s gone to bed with her to fuck her & then just fallen asleep…

The thing that annoys me most about him “falling asleep” than him not saying goodnight to me, is that he’s not ever in bed when he’s chatting to me. He has to get up off the couch & walk to the bedroom. If I ever fall asleep on him & not say goodnight, my phone is literally in my hand when I wake up, having genuinely fallen asleep while typing. Not actively getting up & going to bed without saying goodnight. This is why I think that he’s fucking his partner on these nights & to spare my feelings, he just says he’s fallen asleep. I get that he’s living a double life here, but I hate that it’s always at my expense but I guess to use Noodle’s words, it’s all part of the deal!

I do believe Noodle when he tells me that he has been working hard lately, I know what his job entails having worked retail myself for many many years when I was in my teens & 20’s. He’s also in a new store that needs fixing, so I also get that. I actually admire Noodle’s work ethic a lot, I’ve told him this before & he’s told me that his partner hates that about him. Really? I mean would she rather a dude sit at home on government benefits?

It’s been a few day since I fucked Orbit & a week since I saw last saw Noodle. It’s Tuesday night, our usual night, I am waiting for Noodle to bail but he starts arranging what we’ll do tonight an hour before he finishes work, that I feel much better… He asks me to pick him up from his work so he can leave his phone in the car in the work car park. So I skip the gym & head to Noodle’s work to pick him up at 7:00 pm. He moves his car to the front of the store & leaves him phone behind, getting in my car to go back to my house. We walk into my house, it’s Halloween & I am a little worried that we’ll have some trick or treaters & interrupt us, so I don’t turn on any lights in the front of the house. We make it to the kitchen before Noodle is behind me, grabbing my tits & lifting my dress up. He bends me over the kitchen bench & fingers me from behind, before picking me up & putting me on the bench. He goes down on me, making me cum again as I’m hanging off the bench. Once I’m done, he’s not done with me, he slides me further off the bench so he can fuck me. Well this is a first fucking on the kitchen bench, we’re ticking off the christening of all the rooms in my house! This is what sex should be like – passionate, hot & sexy…

Of course I cum again while Noodle is fucking me, but he doesn’t cum, he helps me off the bench & pushes me down on my knees to suck his cock, I am totally into this, I forget how weird he’s been with me & just enjoy his dominant side. Noodle wants to cum on my face, I’ve always been ok with cum everywhere else but I’m not sure about it on my face, but I kneel there in front of him while he rubs his cock so he cums on me. It gets in my hair & in my eye a little, but I don’t even have time to worry about it, because Noodle is pulling me up & bending me over the bench. He slides in from behind me & grabs my boobs using them to help him pound me hard. I have cum in my eye so I use my phone to look at myself in the selfie camera. I take a couple of snaps of us & while they’re a bit blurry & dark, it is pretty much the only photo I have of us together, of our faces at least. I have a million photos of our genitals together, of him, of me, but there is a shit bath photo of us from when we first started seeing each other, but this is the first one where you can tell it’s us & he actually looked at the camera with me. I treasure that photo, even if we look kind of weird, because he’s fucking me, there’s cum on my face, but he obviously wanted to have a photo with me, because he poses a little.

Noodle doesn’t cum again, but I do! Afterwards I do wipe my face, we both get dressed & he says we better go back to his work. On the way back to his work, I tell him that I have cum in my eyelashes & he says “Lucky they’re not fake” & laughs. I laugh too thinking, is he serious? Does he not realise that I get eyelash extensions? I wish these were real! I tell him that they are fake & he says he has no idea about that kind of stuff.

I pull up at his car, he jumps out but leaves my car the door open & gets his phone, he says there’s no messages, puts his phone back in his car & gets back in my car – that was kind of unexpected. I mean don’t get me wrong, I was a bit sad that we only had a short time together but I thought he would have to go, however he says to go for a drive somewhere because he doesn’t “finish” work until 9:00 pm, so he has another hour to spend with me. We drive around a suburb I used to work in, so I know the backstreets, I find a place to park. I doubt he’ll cum again but I definitely can & do! I ride him in the car, in the front seat, steaming up the car, so we could have a titanic style hand mark on the window… Hahaha.

I hate dropping him back at the car & having to leave him, but I don’t know why I am excited for him to follow me home… My exit on the expressway is before his, so he’ll drive past me, will he flash his lights or beep or wave at me? I’m very intrigued to know. However, only a few minutes down the road he pulls into the petrol station & I keep driving on. I don’t know why that makes me a little sad… Hahaha!

After I get home from dropping Noodle back at his car, I notice my dishwasher, which is black, has a white long drip of something all the way down it. I have a flash back to Noodle cumming on my face, the dishwasher was the backdrop. It’s Noodle’s cum!! I take a picture & send it to him, showing him that it’s his cum, what a dirty reminder of what just occurred at my house!

Noodle tells me “You make me hard a lot. I’m like hard just at the thought of fucking you before I walk into your house haha.” Fuck really? I tell him that makes me feel pretty good, I mean I wouldn’t expect that someone would be hard in the car before walking into my house. I mean I am always turned on thinking about him on his way to my house, I like that he has the same feeling.

This is also the time that, I get called for jury duty! Not only is work crazy for me, the added bullshit of having to do jury duty is fucked… They apparently message you a day before if you’re needed or not. That doesn’t really work with my job, looking back, I should’ve taken the whole month off, however I don’t & just constantly reschedule things are they arise.

The following Tuesday night is the next time I see Noodle, it’s gone from every few days to once a week… He’s been chatting a bit more, not as much of course as he has done in the past but it’s a bit better. What the fuck is going on with him though… Is it because his partner is fucking him or is it because I’m being clinging? Am I being clingy? Is it because we came together the other week? Did that freak him out? Is he feeling guilty? OMG my head is going to explode with all the what ifs & questions…. FUCK!!!

With the drive to & from his work, he is only at my house for an hour tonight. We fuck as always, it’s good sex, it feels good, we are in sync, both of us cumming at separate times, but I’m feeling disconnected from him. I don’t know how to explain it. There is still the passion & excitement there, there is still chemistry & we’re both turned on but the connection with him feels disjointed. It’s been 2 weeks since Orbit, so it’s not that… What is it? I never felt like this with Noodle ever before, even the first time we fucked. I felt more connected with him that night, than I do now… What is happening here…? Why did I get involved with a guy that has so many reg flags not only because of his growing family & partner, but also because of all the personal red flags, the douchyness, the needing to be wanted feeling… Am I just a play thing to him that he got what he needed from? I gave him confidence & made him feel sexy again, she’s fucking him so he doesn’t need me? Everything about this guy said reg flags & I got involved… I have been chatting to this man every single day for 8 months, that’s like 240 days! How did I get so entwined with him? How did I get so caught up in this… How did he become a good friend… FUCK, how did he become my best friend? Why am I so sad about the prospect of this ending…

Could this be the end of Noodle & I?

#IBD4U

Today’s filler post is very important to the Noodle story… You must read this one before the next Noodle post is posted!

One thing I want you all to know, which you should already be aware of, none of these stories are fiction. They are entirely non-fiction, they have all happened to me, to my recollection, this is the truth… While I am now using my life story for entertainment value for you guys, remember, I lived this! I did all this stuff & I don’t always make wise decisions…

While seeing Noodle, I know I said that I wasn’t talking to anyone else & while that is true for the most part, Noodle is offline a lot & I’m sitting around waiting for him, when Orbit joins the southern group I run, Noodle isn’t in all my groups, so I can flirt a bit without him seeing or getting jealous. I chat to J-Lo most days & Dom when he is around & not ignoring me. But with J-lo it’s just like a guy friend chat & Dom, well he comes & goes like the wind.

I guess as much as I don’t want something else with anyone else, I am still technically single & want a partner, so I’m also looking for someone single who I have the same chemistry that I have with Noodle. I’m sure there are single guys out there that I will have the same chemistry with. I mean, I’ve never felt like this before about a guy, but surely it’s not just Noodle, surely there is a single man out there for me?

Orbit is good looking & we chat a bit, I know he is talking to Sweetie (Max’s Wife) as well, before I even start talking to him. I’ve seen drama go down when people on the chat app when they are chatting to multiple people & I don’t want that, so I make sure he’s not going to be pursuing something with Sweetie, because if he was, then I would leave him for her. This is one of the reasons why I am glad that Noodle, while he flirts with other people, he doesn’t chat with others with the intention to meet them… This is probably why we are in this mess in the first place, we’re being too loyal to each other…

Orbit & I chat a lot – not like Noodle & I do, I mean Orbit & I can go days without talking & we talk about nothing of importance or anything deep. I know barely anything about him. I think it’s not wise for me to be only fucking Noodle, I am way too into him. When Orbit invites me over for a drink, I accept. As I put the condom in my pocket, I think this isn’t a good idea, but it’s also the only idea that makes sense. Orbit says he has his daughter but she’s in bed asleep, I get to his house & we sit drinking wine on the couch. It’s nice, but I feel no spark, I feel no electricity, I feel nothing like I felt with Noodle the first time we met. I mean if Noodle & I could’ve, we probably would’ve fucked on the tables at the café we met at… I actually had to physically control myself from touching Noodle… With this guy, I am dreading him leaning over to kiss me. Is that because of Noodle od because of the chemistry with Orbit?

Around midnight, Orbit & I have not even touched, the conversation is a little bit stagnant, that I say I have to go, I’ve finished my first wine & he hadn’t offered me another one, so I just head home. I only live around the corner so it’s not that far. I look at my phone & Noodle hasn’t been back online… What the fuck is going on with Noodle? This date has made me realise though, that I only want Noodle. I don’t want to date, I don’t want to meet new men, I want Noodle & whatever this stupid thing is between us!

But the Noodle is still being weird with me, for the last few weeks, he’s barely talking to me, but when I say that he’s barely talking to me, I mean he talks to me every day, we always chat daily, but it’s not the same at it was. Noodle just says that he’s too busy, which pisses me off & is super offensive, like I haven’t been busy this whole time & yet I make time for Noodle. I mean I was fucking sleeping with paperwork at one point, that’s how busy I am. But Noodle is taking home rosters & doing them at home, so he can’t reply to me…

I have been out for a few drinks & dropped home relatively early, I am horny from drinking a couple of drinks & thinking I can have some virtual sex with Noodle, but he hasn’t even come back online after he got home from work… I know she’d be in bed by now, so clearly he’s gone to bed to fuck her… FUCK I have to stop thinking about them having sex. But this is where I snap!

Orbit is messaging me, inviting me over when I agree… I am sitting on the edge of my bed, half undressed thinking that I should get into bed, but also willing Noodle to come back online to save me from making this terrible decision. I think fuck it, fuck Noodle, I’m so over this bullshit with him!

I get to Orbit’s house & still nothing from Noodle. I walk in his front door & we’re kissing straight away. He’s not that great of a kisser. He has stubble, which is ok, but it’s the scratchy type of stubble, not soft scratchy like Noodle’s beard. I usually hate beards & this one kind of hurts my face – this is why I don’t like them. We kiss & he moves us into his bedroom, closing the door. We get naked, undressing ourselves, we lay on the bed, I get the feeling he is more submissive than he let on… Or maybe it’s nerves or maybe he just is being respectful of me, I don’t know what it is, but it doesn’t flow well, it doesn’t have passion or chemistry, I don’t even cum. Orbit doesn’t talk during sex, when I try to ask something or say something, he doesn’t really respond. That’s fine I guess, I never used to be a talker until I was with Noodle & even with him sometimes I still feel self-conscious.

I leave his house shortly after he cums, feeling ashamed. I don’t think I have ever felt guilty before about having sex with someone. Not only do I feel like I have used Orbit, but I realise that I have potentially jeopardised whatever this thing is with Noodle, for some really shit sex. I also hate that I needed to do that to remind myself that what I have with Noodle is worth something to me.

Should I tell Noodle? Should I keep my mouth shut being I know I am never going to see Orbit again? Does Noodle need to know? What would he say? I can picture him saying “I’ll live” or “Part of the deal” but he’ll be jealous as fuck. I can’t deal with that… I don’t want to hurt this guy, even though every night he doesn’t come back online, he hurts me. Will it change things even more? Will it make things weirder? Will he stop talking to me?

FUCK ME! What have I done?!

#IBD4U

WHAT THE ACTUAL FACTUAL FUCK! Why do I think that was making love? I don’t even know what making love is… Why would I say that? No, we’re just in sync, our chemistry is undeniable. I must never mention that to Noodle. It means nothing! It means nothing!!!! Noodle & I just have some sort of weird connection, it’s not the L word… Stop it!

We do sort of talk about cumming at the same time, because I am a little weirded out that we did that, I haven’t ever had that happen before, I want to know if it is a common thing but he tells me that he’s never cum at the exact same time as someone before, he’s cum at a similar time but not like that… FUCK. What does that mean? This is not good, I repeat, this is not good! FUCK… I need to forget that even happened! We both do… I never mention the L word.

We chat all weekend but I don’t see him for a few days. This is not unusual, we chat a lot when she is sleeping, we talk a lot about our diets to be honest, it’s really the main topic we talk about, we share our fat photos, Noodle sends me a quite a few & I send him some… I’ve never been confident to show anyone before so the fact I’m sending him pictures of how fat I was, is surprising to me. He tells me how well I’ve done & how sexy I am now, I tell him that he wouldn’t have ever fucked me when I was fat & he says that I wouldn’t have fucked him when he was fat & look to be honest, Noodle isn’t 100% my type but I can’t say for sure that I wouldn’t have fucked him. He’s only just started his weight loss journey, I have been at this lower weight for a few years but sort of stuck here. Noodle has been helping & I know that my body shape is changing even if the scales don’t move. He gives me confidence so I am not really worried about what he thinks of me, because I know he thinks I’m sexy, I just need to be around his hands for 5 seconds & they’re all over me… Hahaha.

One night chatting to Noodle while his partner is at work, we generally are talking about food or are turning each other on. Noodle will hide in his bedroom to jerk off & video it for me or one time he even hid in his kids room, which was a bit weird seeing all the kid stuff, like the backpack on the door & lots of drawing on the wall, while watching him jerk off, but I guess we do what we have to do to have some sexy time together. This night, Noodle & I are just chatting, not even sexy talk when he goes silent for a bit. I just assume his partner came home suddenly, she has called in sick a fair bit & usually on his days off, which means we don’t get to talk all day. He seems to get really pissed off when she does that, he’s been pretty annoyed that she has changed her roster so she doesn’t work late on Monday nights anymore. He does tell me that he gets snippy with the whole family when he can’t talk to me. I never see it, so I have no idea… I mean of course I only know what he tells me about their life together & how they are, but I don’t know if it’s true, I mean all of this could be a lie? Who the fuck knows. Anyway he’s gone offline & I think fuck you Noodle for not saying goodbye, but it’s become his usual thing – because he’s told me before that he tries to chat to me for as long as he can, so he doesn’t say goodbye quick enough. It pisses me off, but I also can’t help but think it’s cute… Fuck I’m such an idiot!

I see him finally read my last message, then I get a picture of his son lying on the ground with a really cute giggling face, only wearing track pants but his whole chest, arms & face covered in blue texta. I then get a picture of the iPad covered in blue texta too…FUCK! Noodle is freaking out a bit because he left him unattended while talking to me & has nothing to clean it off with. He says that his partner will freak out, so Noodle takes his son & heads to the shops for something to clean him with. I’m not good with suggestions, I suggest nail polish remover – what a fucking idiot, who would use nail polish remover on a kids skin?! (which is pretty much what Noodle says to me. Hahaha) I try not to be annoyed he has to go deal with that during the time he gets to chat to me, I know she’ll be home soon & I will be deleted for who knows how long. I do feel a bit bad for Noodle & his kid, I mean they aren’t really spending much time together being he’s always talking to me when he has him… Hiding in rooms, jerking off or literally just chatting to me. Fuck I hate that I am interrupting his time with his kid…

Noodle moves stores for the hopefully the last time – but we’re not entirely happy about the location of the store, as if I have a right to be pissed off where his new store is, but I am. Hahaha. It’s about 20 minutes away from my house – probably about an hour from his, so pretty far. I guess things will need to change if we’re going to keep this up. It’s a bit of a drive for a lunch time thing, so I don’t think he’ll be coming to my house for lunch anymore. I guess there’s before & after work when he has time. I mean I haven’t really gone to him much, but I’m sure I could. We change adapt this, I mean, yeah this whole time I’ve expected him to go out of his way to fuck me, I guess he’s the one that has to put in more effort than me in a way. But I guess I like this guy enough to put in some effort & meet him. I’ve met him a few times so what difference would it make if we had some more sex in his office or in the car?

He’s off on Monday & I’m on annual leave, he drops his son off at child care & he comes over to my house at 9:30 am for a few hours. It’s not often we get this kind of time together, usually just a lunch break here or a before work fuck. I like the times when we can really enjoy the foreplay with each other, the kissing, the touching, the sucking before we start fucking. Noodle has become quite accustomed to using my toys in my draws, assorted vibes or the x restraints. His favourite is a vibe on my clit while fucking me, even though I’ve cum so many times, probably from just looking at this guy but he still likes to make me cum while his cock is deep inside me. The part I have to say I love the most, when I have more time with Noodle than usual, is when we just lay there afterwards, like we have all the time in the world, entwined in each other’s limbs, his hands touching every inch of my skin that he can reach. It makes me realise that this could be more just friends with benefits… This guy is more than that… Somehow, I don’t know what he is, but he’s more than that!

We talk about the first time we met, I mean we’ve had conversations about it before but he admits to messaging me “Well I messaged you after I kissed you” I laugh, because he tells me that he’s stubborn so I assume that he wouldn’t message me “You did… I actually thought there would be a stand off between who would message first after we had sex. Even after we have lunch too… You were first both times!” I am giggling as I see his response “So I’m really the loser then” I tell him that yes he is a loser & he says “pfft, should’ve made you wait” I laugh as I say “You couldn’t wait to message me” he knows this is true, but he says “You couldn’t wait for my message” I laugh the whole time, knowing I am being cheeky, “I didn’t have to wait…!” Neither of us are going to back down here so his response really surprises me “Haha. Meh maybe I like you a little. Must of come across ok.” I know that Noodle saying he likes me a little is a big thing, we don’t usually say stuff like that to each other… I know I am stubborn & I try not to be, but I am, especially when it comes to men. I watch Noodle act like a complete douche in the groups that I thought he was more stubborn than me. Though when he gets deleted out of the groups as a joke, he always does come crawling back with his tail between his legs, so maybe I am more stubborn than him… I mean I have proved that, I just didn’t realise how much more. I guess in this situation, I have more power than he does, I mean I don’t have to make the effort to see him… I don’t have to put in any effort to chat to him to get him to fuck me, but if he wants me to fuck him, he needs to put in the effort!

Noodle at his new store, it will be his home store so he wants to makes his mark there, I get it, I just never thought it would be at the detriment of talking to me. Lets be honest, I’ve been spoiled over the last 7 months as Noodle has had a lot spare time to chat to me, not many jobs you can chat back & forth. I’m on my work phone a lot so I can message while doing other things… But being his original store had closed down, he’s been on leave then in stores for short times that he hasn’t really been in charge, so could use his phone more. But moving to this store which will be his store, I understand things will change a bit. I just didn’t realise how much. He barely chats to me at all, waiting till almost midnight to come back online to ask how my days was & say “I’ve accomplished so much at work in 3 days, sorry for being so busy” Well, fuck, at least he’s sorry, I’m not 100% sure that he means it, but at least he said it. He tells me what a mess it is & how much effort he’s had to put in to it, working long hours to get it up to scratch.

With Noodle moving stores so often lately, I think this is a really good time to create an alibi. Basically, he’s moved stores 3 times & so I figured, he can pretend to make good friends with somebody at a store & then potentially “go out” with them to have a drink & whatnot, but actually be with me without raising suspicion. He never actually does it though. I think he thinks it will be a bit suspicious, but I mean it’s the perfect opportunity to create an alibi. He uses the gym all the time as a alibi, but he’s not allowed to go when the family is awake, so it makes it hard – mainly for me because we don’t meet at the gym & it’s still 20 minutes away from my house! It disappoints me that Noodle doesn’t take this opportunity to do this. It’s the perfect time! I guess there would be a million questions about who the person is, where they’re going & what they’re doing. Also he’ll be stalked on the apple stalker app, but I mean it he was going to a bar for a drink, it’s a great opportunity for us to go on some dates.

I don’t see Noodle for the rest of the week, he’s so ‘busy’ that we barely even talk, it’s fucking me off… I mean he still makes the effort to talk to me a little, but is in bed early, up early but doesn’t say hello for hours, then barely writes back or has a conversation with me, its short & only enough to keep me chatting to him… I don’t even know what I am doing… I mean I shouldn’t panic it’s only been a week, however, I get really pissed off, thinking too much, I’m the worst overthinker, it kills me but I am thinking constantly about him fucking his partner, kissing her, touching her like he does me & I fucking snap…

#IBD4U

I wake up fuming still – from what little sleep I did have, what a douche. If Noodle doesn’t say hello to me, then no fucking way am I messaging him! This will be over… That’s fine by me! Fuck, do I even actually mean that? I know he’s at work, he knows I am awake & nothing. I don’t look at his good night message either, making a stand on that too! What a douche, I am not messaging… But as I’m getting ready I see his name pop up on my phone & I melt like an idiot! “Morning.” FUCK!

He makes up for his douchyness from last night when we talk, I can’t stay angry, which fucks me off… He never says sorry, if he did I wouldn’t believe that he is actually sorry anyway, I believe though when he tells me “You are probably the sexier person I have ever fucked – not sure how you become that” I think he means the sexiest hahaha. But I let that slide being he’s being nice & making up for being an idiot last night. I get to the bottom of his jealousy & why he was being a fuckwit. I had changed my profile picture & apparently according to him, I was getting way more attention that I have before – which is also why he posts pictures of himself, when I get too much attention. I don’t agree, but he says “No way. I notice this shit. I may from time to time get a tiny bit jealous & you are getting way more attention” I literally can’t believe that this guy is this jealous about idiots online giving me attention. But do you know what… It actually makes me feel good! For me, jealousy with a partner is a feeling you get when you are scared of losing them… He has no reason to be jealous, I am fucking in this too deep, I am not going anywhere & I am not fucking anyone else, I haven’t fucked anyone else in months! I’m barely even talking to anyone else!

Noodle also gets another nickname on the chat app – I don’t think I told you about, which I know he likes, his new nickname is Pickle, however, I still call him Noodle or Noo Noo & he says he hates all the nicknames. He spends all his time trying to get people to call him God. Which I just roll my eyes at, but also smile at his stupid need to have people like him. I know he doesn’t hate these names at all. He tells me though that his new cat (that he didn’t want but after the other cat was run over, he came home one day & his partner had brought home a new kitten without telling him. Seriously, these 2 are messed up!) is called Pickle. I laugh & say that’s hilarious that he has his chat app nickname as his cats name, but he says that his son named it & it was a coincidence. What a fucking weird coincidence.

Noodle tells me how stubborn he is when as a joke he gets deleted from a group again & he says that he’s too stubborn to re-join, I know he’s fucking stubborn, I’m fucking stubborn too, I think more than him sometimes, but I guess in this scenario, I can just move on to another guy, I don’t think there are many women out there who would do what I’m doing for as long as we have. So I send him a picture of me sucking his cock & say that I actually look quite good. He says “You look fucking smoking hot, but I can resist.” I am sitting in my car, at lunch thinking fuck you, no you can’t resist me, no more than I can resist him, so I say “Could you resist kissing me, kissing my ear, feeling me react? Or sucking my nipples while your cock is in my pussy feeling it get wetter… Or when you put my legs on your shoulders & my cunt squirts all over us… Or when you slip in my ass when I’m so wet… Or bending me over the pool table, sitting on the washing machine, the desk in your office… Or tying me to the bed to spank my ass then fuck me from behind… Or resist me when I’m on the pool table with a vibe in my pussy just making you watch… Or me licking your sensitive balls & cock till you cum in my mouth then I keep sucking when it’s even more sensitive… Should I bother mentioning tit fucking & cumming all over them wearing your cum all day like a dirty little mistress…” He responds “OMG, Fuck you #IBD4U” I send a selfie in the car with a look that says what I follow up with “Don’t mess with me!!!!” I’m sitting there giggling when he says “That’s a pretty smug smile. You enjoy me being addicted to you, don’t you?” Why, yes I do!! Hehehe. I call him a loser & he says “Pfft, says the loser fucking me” Well FUCK!

The follow Tuesday night, he drives to his parents house, leaves his phone in a bush & then comes over to my house… Are you fucking kidding me that this is even worth it? FFS. This is seriously next level, who does that? & it also sucks that he is not going to stay over, he does toy with the idea of leaving his phone in the bush all night but since she’d actually messaged his mum to find out if he stayed over, he wasn’t going to risk it. Damn it. I’m fucking devastated that I had this stupid fantasy & that I was so invested in it… It’s probably for the best that he doesn’t stay over, even though I want him too so badly. I hide my disappointment by fucking him in my small spare room, I’ve never fucked in here before at all, never even slept in the room. I get him to fuck my tits & he cums on them, taking a picture of his cum on my tits before he spends time rubbing it in. I don’t know if I just like him touching me or if I actually enjoy that feeling, it’s so dirty & so fucking hot!

Noodle has his brother’s wedding coming up in a few months, he’s been losing weight for it, like over 30 kgs. He looks fucking amazing. He’s been shopping this week & bought a suit to wear to another wedding he has coming up also, that his partner is in. He sends me a picture of him in it & he looks sexy as fuck in it! Jesus… It gets me wet just seeing him in a picture that I tell him I want him to fuck me in that! I tell him this & he says that he wants to fuck me in it too, that his partner hasn’t even seen him in the suit yet. However later I study the picture he sends me of him in the bathroom, there is crap all over the bench, bottles of deodorant, their 3 toothbrushes leaning on the edges of the sink, a hairdryer & brushes strewn about the bench. It’s a fucking mess… But then I see Noodle standing there proud in his suit, looking sexy as fuck & I can’t see anything else.

We both have the day off work – it’s Friday, I have bought some sexy lingerie, I haven’t told him that when he walks in the door today that I will be standing at the door in lingerie & he’ll know to force me to my knees & suck his cock as soon as he walks in the door. We’ve talked about this scenario before, but he doesn’t know that I’m setting up for him to walk into… I spend all morning getting ready, I have my eyelash extension appointment, I have washed my hair, curled it lightly & put a bit of make up on. I then put the lingerie on, drop some heels by the front door, ready to slip on when he gets there… I look amazing, I feel amazing & I’m excited to see his reaction. I’ve been naked for him before & in my usual underwear (which he thinks is sexy, but it’s just my usual lacy underwear everyday – I don’t realise they’re sexy to be honest, I just wear them but he tells me that his partner wears grandma underwear. I find these undies more comfortable than my bonds undies so I’ll never be caught in grandma undies!) but never in specific lingerie that I bought with him in mind. My heart is pounding in my chest. I’m peeping out the window knowing he’ll be here soon, I see his car pull in the drive way, so I straighten myself out, step into the heels & wait by the door. I don’t know how to stand, so I just stand there with a hand on the hip, trying to look sexy but probably coming across as if I’m angry… Hahaha…

The door opens & my heart is in my throat, pounding so hard, I’m sure he’ll be able to see it, it takes me a second to realise what he is wearing, because I am so scared about his reaction of me that I can’t look at him. When I realise he’s wearing the new suit! FUCK… He looks hot as fuck. His eyes do this thing where they basically look like Roger Rabbit when his eyes pop out of his head. I’m sure my eyes are doing the same, fuck this guy is hot!

We both smile, this is like the most perfect moment, the perfect fantasy that we didn’t even plan!! How do we do that?! I walk to him & I’m still a midget against his 6’1 stature, even in these ridiculously high heels, we say hello & kiss like there is no tomorrow. He’s feeling my ass & my hands are in his hair, I am seriously so turned on just by seeing him in this suit. He pushes me face first against the wall, so much so, my face leaves make up on the wall. He pushes himself against me & kisses my neck turning me on. He slips his hand down into my panties & makes me almost cum, but then stops. FUUUUCCCK!

He turns me back around & I rub his cock though his pants for the short time that he allows me to do it, of course he’s hard & he pushes me to my knees. This is exactly what we talked about, his cock pokes out of his suit, just his fly undone & he forces me to take it in my mouth, I suck his cock until he is ready to cum, he cums on my tits in the lingerie with this noise that I know I have fulfilled the brief! FUCK that was hot!!! Because he stays hard after he cums, he gets naked & fucks me until I am cumming. He doesn’t cum this time, but he says that he enjoys it anyway.

We sit around talking, he covers his cock because he’s so conscious of it when it’s soft (I don’t think it’s as small as he does…. He has dick dysmorphia – if that’s a thing, just as I have body dysmorphia – I think I am fatter than what I am) & I actually make us a healthy pizza for lunch. It’s the first time I’ve ‘cooked’ for him & I like that he is here for most of the day. We sit on the couch eating pizza, chatting & just hanging out. I love this… Sometimes the hanging out is my favourite part…

It’s not long though before we’re kissing, touching & turning each other on again, we get naked again, from what little clothing we have on. I’m sort of laying on the edge of the couch, while he kneels over me to fuck me, I’m so wet from before cumming multiple times that he can slide in me easily. We are in sync even though this position is a little awkward but some how feels amazing. Noodle is fucking me hard, his eyes holding my gaze when I feel myself building ready to cum again, we don’t stop looking at each other as we cum together, convulsing, not able to control ourselves… HOLY FUCKING BATSHIT… That was intense! I have never ever cum at the same time as a guy before, ever! I have also never cum, while looking a guy in the eye before.

WOW! Could I be mistaken, but did we just make love?

#IBD4U

Noodle & I chat every day as usual. One night after Noodle has fucked me, he goes offline but then he messages me when his partner has gone to bed & the coast is clear. No hello, no pleasantries, just “I submitted your name to Australia’s got talent” WHAT THE FUCK? What for? I kind of smirk, not knowing where this is going – assuming there is some joke here. “The world needs to know of your self-lubricating ass” I laugh out loud! Fucking hell, Noodle really thinks he’s not funny & he knows that I am attracted to people who make me laugh – he doesn’t think he’s one of them, but he does make me laugh, so many times a day. I love it. That was gold.Noodle is at another new store, it’s about 40+ minutes from my house – which means it’s about an hour or more from his without traffic, he tells me that his partner has told him that because he works late Tuesday nights & has to be back at the store early on Wednesdays (as always – this isn’t new but he’s never had to drive this far before) that he should stay at his parents house on Tuesday nights for the few weeks that he’s there – they live closer & also close to me. Both of our ears prick up at this, I mean this is an opportunity to stay over at my house! I am excited at this prospect. I literally start planning in my head what we will do, what will happen, thinking about sleeping in his arms. OMG, this will be the fantasy that I’ve always wanted with him! Could we risk this? Could we get away with him being here all night? Would she check up on him via the apple stalker app? This literally excites me so much to even think about… FUCK… This is not a good idea but I want it so badly! I can’t wait till our next Tuesday night!

Because he’s been at the new store, I haven’t seen him since Sunday when we fucked on the washing machine. WOW… I’m still remembering that, that was so amazing, I loved! Anyway, it’s a Friday afternoon, I have the day off & he isn’t at work so he again leaves his phone at home & brings his iPad. I know he can’t message me on the chat app, so I just have to wait till he gets here, so I plan something fun! I get rope, a blindfold, a vibrator, feather & flogger set up in the lounge room, having discussed that I want him to tie me to the ottoman & tease me, since our afternoon where time stood still. He walks in the door, I am naked waiting on the ottoman for him, with the toys sitting on the couch. We kiss & I undress him quickly, not only do I want him naked, but I want to see him naked & also touch him too. I help him tie my feet, because I know he’s not good with rope & is worried about looking like an idiot in front of me – I’m not good with rope either, but it’s just a simple shoelace tie. He then ties my hands above my head to the other end of the ottoman. I’m exposed, I’ve been exposed before with him, but not like this during the day, in the light! This is probably the most vulnerable I have ever been. The X restraints we usually use, are my go to because I can get out of them if I need too. I am on the ottoman, with rope restraining me more that I have been restrained with Noodle before. I trust him inexplicably, so I am not worried as he slides the blind fold over my face. Everything goes dark & my hearing seems to get better with the loss of my sight but all I can hear is my breathing & his, it seems to have increased with anticipation. I’m trying to work out where he is, what he’s doing & worried about how fat I look to him. I try to squash that out of my mind, he thinks I’m sexy, he wouldn’t still be fucking me 6 months later if he didn’t!

Noodle runs his hands over me & I feel the feather, fuck that tickles! It feels amazing, next minute without warning, he goes down on me, bringing me to the edge, about to cum, then he stops & I call him a prick. He gets the vibrator & does the same thing. I’m squirming & calling him a prick more than I care to say… I am loving this but also just want him to make me cum. He fucks me for a little bit then makes me suck his cock, I can taste myself on his dick, it’s really quite sexy. he makes me cum several times before he cums & the blindfold sort of falls off me from squirming too much & he picks up the flogger, sitting on the couch in front of me. I look at him, knowing he hasn’t done this much, but he hits me a few times & I am moaning in ecstasy at how well he does flogging me. I have never had anyone hit my front before, I usually get it done on my back & ass, but he does an amazing job, he is a natural at this, he never should think or feel like an idiot with me, I mean I tell him this all the time but he doesn’t really believe me. He thinks I’m this super experienced kink chick, which lets face it, I’ve been with about 3 men, including Noodle that have been kinky – I’m probably not even considered kinky in the actual kink world!! Fuck I don’t even care if I am kinky! I fucking love fucking this man!!

The following Sunday we’re chatting, he’s at work & the store far away when he suggests I get a vibe that goes inside me & meet him for lunch with it in… JEEZ! Instantly wet from that request & definitely not going to say no! He tells me not to wear panties as well… OMG DUDE, are you trying to kill me! I am in the car quicker than I care to admit & driving to meet him. I pick him up & he kisses me hello – like a peck on the lips as he gets in the car, which is sort of a new thing for us & very coupley but I adore it. His hand slides between my legs as soon as he sees me squirming in the seat & he asks if I’ve had it on like a good girl the whole drive. I say yes, because of course I have – he makes this noise that which I know means he’s just gotten hard at the thought. We drive around trying to find somewhere to fuck at this new store & I used to work in the area so when we can’t find something, I drive to my old work carpark but it’s full of cars. FUCK. I drive down a side street, turned on as fuck wanting to just fuck his brains out, when I find an empty lot behind some houses. I pull in to a carpark & he is unbuttoning his pants really quickly, with a look on his face that he wants it too & I pull the vibe out & climb on top of his lap as he clicks the seat backwards to give us more room. Kissing him, sliding his cock into me so easily as I am saturated. This is sexy as fuck!

He makes this groaning noise as I slide down his cock, I literally love that sound. So manly & so rugged, that I have to kiss him as soon as I hear it, his beard rubbing all over my face. My hands in his hair with his hands on my bare ass, since I’m wearing a short dress for him – easy access & also to save time. I pop my tits out the top & shove them in his face, which he makes that noise again, fuck, I love making him make that noise! He says that he doesn’t cum this way so once I’ve cum a couple of times, I climb off him & sit in the front passenger seat leg well & suck his cock, it’s a weird angle in which I am sitting but I don’t care, I suck his cock, till his starts rubbing it himself & he looks at me with those eyes that I push my tits together & let him cum all over them… I don’t think I’ve told you that he does that quite often now, I really used to think it was gross & hated cum on me, but now I love it, I love the way he looks at me when I let him, I love the way he makes a sound when I push my tits together to make sure he gets them & I actually love the feeling, like I am being branded by him. But most of all, I love that he rubs it in when he’s done! He rubs my tits & it actually feels amazing… So weird, but yeah, if you haven’t figured that out yet, then I’m not sure why you’re still reading! Hahaha.

I don’t see Noodle for a week! Fucking work trip! Which means that I don’t get to see if he’ll spend the night at my house on the Tuesday night. However, it’s a good opportunity to see what she does the first night he spends away from her. Unfortunately for my fantasy, not only does she track his phone with the stalker app, she actually asks his mum if he stayed over… Fucking hell, she’s paranoid! (At this point, she has every right to be of course.) There goes my overnight fantasy, he won’t stay over now. Even if next week she doesn’t ask his mum. I wonder what his mum thinks of that?!

So when I am back on Friday morning Noodle is sneaking into my bed before work! Pretending that he is at the gym on his day off. It’s also her day off which is why he’s gone to the gym early. I think they have a baby appointment. He doesn’t really tell me much & I don’t ask to be honest. I want to know the least I can about the baby.

I tell him that night, that I am not fucking anyone else & that I don’t want too either, he knows this fact already but he still questions me. I wonder if it’s a test to see how much I am into him because I know he gets jealous, he tells me “As much as I love you being MY dirty little slutty mistress… I’d never have that expectation of you. & as much as I’d get jealous” HA! he finally admits it! Hahaha… I know he does, it’s hilarious when he does but also I try so hard to make sure that he doesn’t have a reason to be jealous. He tells me too “I actual don’t want sex with anyone else. Not just cos of the quantity of sex with you. but the quality too. Haha” Awwww… fuck! But this seems to turn into a fight about another dude in the groups, I’ve talked about before Holden, Noodle tells me that if I fuck him, “It will absolutely piss me off tho, but I’ll live.” Well firstly Holden is married, albiet in an open relationship but his partner keeps a tight leash so he’s not done anything as far as I’m aware & he’ll talk to me sporadically & then won’t private chat with me for ages. He’s also got my phone number which he used for a while, but then stopped. I’m assuming his partner wasn’t happy about it so he stopped – I’m not really sure.

When Noodle starts saying that I’m only fucking him out of convenience, I get so angry! Like fuck, I’ve been going out of my way for the last 5, almost 6 months to fuck this guy, at random places, sneaking around, not even telling my best friend that I’m seeing this guy because she was cheated on, not being able to see him when I want & he thinks this is convenient?! Is he insane!!! This is the most inconvenient thing I have ever been involved in & I don’t want to fuck Holden, especially if Noodle is going to be so upset about it. I agree with Noodle & say that if he had of fucked this chick that used to flirt with him hard (all the time, used to piss me off, I’m glad she’s out of the groups now) so I would’ve been pissed off so I tell him that I won’t fuck Holden. He just keeps saying “Its ok, I’ll live” & “I’ll survive…” or “Part of the deal” that I snap “You’re a fucking wanker, I’m going to sleep. Night” & I put my phone down – even though it kills me to do it, not reading his last message that I hear come through, which is probably just “Night” but I refuse to look at it.

#IBD4U

Noodle, Noodle, Noodle! What the actual fuck am I still doing? I know you’re all thinking it. Believe me, I am thinking it too… I need to work my way out of this somehow… But of course, I don’t. I wait around for him to be online, I wait around for his messages all day when we’re at work. I wait for him to suggest the next time we’re going to fuck. I wait a lot for this guy. Why aren’t I saying “Fuck you Noodle, I’m not waiting anymore, leave her & be with me or we’re over” FUCK… Firstly I would never give him an ultimatum, because I’m not that type of woman, I wish I was sometimes. But I am not going to trick someone into being with me & second, where the fuck did that come from?! Do I want him to leave her for me? Would it even work out? Why don’t I ask him to leave his partner? JESUS… WTF!

These kind of thoughts are just because this week has been weird, I’m tired from work, I have been sleeping with paperwork on the weekends, I have been withdrawn a lot from the chat app that even Sweetie (Max’s wife) has noticed & been messaging Noodle to find out if I am ok. He asks me what he should tell her & I said the truth, so he shows me what he messages her to say “Yeah she’s super busy with work over the last few days, I saw her this morning, she’s all good. She had work in bed with her tho, so yeah she’s got a lot of work stuff on her mind” I had something big that I was working on & it was taking up my mental space, so I’d been working at home a bit after hours, hence the bed time reading material. I know others had noticed my absence too. Later Noodle, takes a screenshot of my profile picture & sends it to me with writing over it “LOST – If found please contact Sweetie” I literally laugh my head off & think I better message her, since I am on the chat app everyday chatting to him, I could find a second to message her. I have become what I hate, ‘too busy’ & absorbed in work & chatting to Noodle that I barely have been doing anything else.

So this morning, Noodle did sneak into my house before work on a Sunday to fuck me, then obviously had Sweetie worried about me, which is sweet. But also things are a bit weird with her since I haven’t seen her since her birthday or really talked to Max since he sent me a message for my birthday & we chatted a bit while I was in Hawaii, but then he ended up ghosting me again. I knew I shouldn’t even reply to his messages…

Noodle has also started showering at my house before he leaves, especially on nights where he goes home & knows she’s going to be awake. Usually on a Tuesday night she’s asleep when he gets home so he didn’t have to worry. He’s even told me that he’s slept next to her without showering, covered in our cum. I think it’s kind of sexy, but also so disrespectful… I am in this is a weird phase where I am turned on by the things he does but also appalled that someone would do that to someone that they say they love… It’s a weird feeling for me – please don’t think that I am as horrible as I sound!! Unless you’ve been in this position, you have no idea what you’d do. I always said I’d never keep chatting to married/partnered men & I did make sure I never did, except for Dom, but I never met him, it was all online.

So now that Noodle’s partner is pregnant, apparently she has a heightened sense of smell (is that a real thing when pregnant?!) & has started sniffing his cock when he gets home, mainly from the gym. Yes you read that right… Firstly, how does that conversation even go? I could never ask a man to let me sniff his cock because I think he’s cheating on me. But also, why does he let her?! Does he pull it out & she sniffs it then they go make dinner or some other mundane thing? My imagination runs wild of course, I assume she sucks it after sniffing it, but I have no idea, I don’t ask but I hate when he tells me that she’s sniffed his cock. I get really jealous. I know he’s with her & obviously fucking her still – she’s pregnant, but I don’t usually think about them together… I guess what I don’t know doesn’t hurt me…. I heard a quote that said ‘We only believe the lies that will protect our feelings’ & I think that it’s so true… She believes I don’t exist, just as much as I believe she doesn’t exist… But question, which one of us is the dumbest here? I think me… As much as I don’t want to think about her or think I am the dumbest in this equation, I really am, I know about her, I am aware of the situation I am in, I’m not being lied to every time I ask if he’s cheating. Fuck I am so stupid!

So, back to the story, hahaha. He’s started showering before he leaves, I oddly like him showering at my house. Milky would shower but I never thought about it like I do with Noodle. I like him in my shower, sometimes I get in with him & we kiss & touch, but usually we get horny & he looks at his watch then we have to get out. When he’s done tonight, he basically throws the towel back on the rack so much so that I send a picture of his towel on the rack looking ridiculous, scrunched up & then I fix it & send a picture of what it should look like. I am, of course, being funny, it doesn’t bother me that much, but I wonder if it would piss me off if we lived together? Also how does it dry if it’s all bunched up? I guess if it’s my towel then it’ll piss me off, but if it’s his towel, that’s his problem – unless he then uses my towel because his is wet! Hahaha, I am almost certain that’s what he would do at home!

It does make me wonder what I would be like living with another person now… I’ve been living back in my house after returning from Canada for about 6 years now, all alone. I am set in my ways, I know that, I think that will be daunting for a guy to come into my life now, I know that my house looks like a show home, friends tell me that all the time, but it’s easy to keep it clean when you are the only one that lives there. Also I travel for work a lot, so much so that sometimes I am only home from Friday to Sunday, away for a couple of weeks consecutively. But even when I am home, all I do is go to work & gym then fuck Noodle, so I am barely at my house anyway. I generally come home from work when I am home, go to gym class, shower & get into bed. I’m barely ever in any of the other rooms, there’s no point.

A few days later, our usual Tuesday evening, I decide to leave the door unlock but not tell him anything… We’ve been talking about christening every room in my house. I have fucked in the big spare room before with Milky & Max, however I haven’t with Noodle. I decide to lay on the spare bed with a vibrator. I hear him walk in front door, he’s never quiet when he walks in, he’ll never be able to surprise me because he’s so loud. I have the vibe on teasing me as I see him walk past the spare room door, straight into my bedroom. I smirk knowing that he is going to be feeling stupid but I know he can hear the vibrator. He pokes his head into the spare room & says “Hmmm, what do we have here?” He undresses quickly & is on the bed kissing me. He’s on top of me & sliding easily into me being that I am turned on from the vibrator, he’s fucking me hard when something happens, I’m not sure how but his shoulder hits my jaw & it locks open. I’ve told you this before that I have jaw issues. Usually when I yawn it will sometimes lock open, it’s horrible, it hurts & it locked once with Milky when I was sucking his cock.

He realises something has happened & that I can’t talk, with my mouth wide open. I sit up massaging the sides of my jaw to loosen it up, but it won’t close. I can’t fucking sit here looking like an idiot clown that you stick the balls in their mouth at the fair. FUCK. I am so scared, WTF why won’t it close. This is the scariest moment of my life… He’s freaking out too, I’m pacing around, naked, wondering what the fuck I am supposed to do. I’m freaking out which is making it worse – thinking Noodle is going to have to take me to the emergency room & then I’m thinking what the fuck we are going to say at the hospital. Would he have to speak to someone there for me? Would he come in? (I find out later that his brother & sister in law both work at my local hospital, so he probably wouldn’t come in!) I wonder if he would talk to my sister on the phone to let her know he’s dropped me off at emergency, so someone could be there with me?

I google how to close it, of course everything to says to relax. Yeah, not easy to relax when in pain & feeling like a dickhead! It’s been a long time & it’s hurting a lot. Something suggests to lay on your side & massage it. I can’t talk & I’m feeling like an absolute fucking idiot. So I lay down rubbing it trying to think of anything but the fact my jaw has locked open for what seems like an eternity. It finally releases & I am so relieved… I know he is too, he’s sitting next to me on the couch naked, not sure what to do but he’s got his phone – also googling & a soft cock, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it soft… Fuck what a buzz kill!

#IBD4U

For new readers to #IBD4U, I am well aware of the triggers in this story. I apologise to any one that is upset by my story. But remember, you are basically reading my journal… People make mistakes, I’m sure you have. Just sometimes our mistakes differ from other people… So having said that I hope you stick with me & my Noodle story.

Noodle asks me what it is about him that makes me keep coming back, well this is a easy question to answer for me, but I do ask myself the same thing, because surely I can find all the things I like about him in a single guy… But I guess if that were true, then I wouldn’t still be writing this blog! Hahaha. “From my perspective, it’s cos we have amazing sexual chemistry. You’ve given me confidence, we like each other & we feel comfortable enough to say anything, usually what we want sexually… then we actually do it. Live out fantasy’s… Plus cos we don’t see each other when we want, we build up the sexual tension… which is annoying but makes it hotter. We also have mind blowing sex… Every. Time. & you’re kinda sexy!” I don’t tell him but I also think he’s funny, we have great fun banter, he is my best friend. I tell him everything without judgement, even my weight! He agrees but then he can’t believe I even complimented him, I don’t do it very often even though his ego needs it. I struggle with this to be honest, I don’t want to be the douche out there saying I think someone is hot when they don’t reciprocate. He asks me “Did it hurt a little to compliment me?” I actually laugh out loud, but I don’t tell him that, I just tell him that it did hurt. Hahaha… Fuck I’m a stubborn bitch! When I tell him that I find him sexy he is surprised & laughs at me saying he should screen shot that, luckily I’m safe, he doesn’t… Well actually he doesn’t really know I do, I mean I’ve told him that I do, but I wonder if he does & saves them in his little secret app? So while on a roll, I say “In all seriousness … I do think you’re sexy, with a cute butt… I’m horny all the time when I think about you fucking me… The sex we have is so amazing that I haven’t wanted it with anyone else. And I love Mr Dom Noodle, he’s so much fun!” HoLY FuCkInG BaTsHiT, did I just say the L word?! Fuck I hope he doesn’t freak out! But all he says “Are you alright over there?” knowing I am never like this with him. I tell him that that is the last nice message from me & he laughs.

Lately I have noticed him posting more pictures of himself in the groups, especially since he has been going to the gym, he’s proud of his improvements, which he should be, of course, he looks fucking sexy… So I should be more complimentary to him, I bet he’s not getting compliments at home & I do find him sexy as fuck – considering he’s not what I would usually go for. I get a little jealous of the pictures he posts, that my reaction is to tease him about it & he says “Oi. People need to know what I look like. I don’t have a pfp like you” (pfp means profile picture) then he says to me “You look cute af in your pfp btw. Fuck, that’s being nice. Grrr” Hahaha, people NEED to know what he looks like?! What the fuck for? He’s got a partner & me, why the fuck would he be looking for anything else… Reminds me of Max, when he acted like a douche at Switch kissing another chick while there with me & his wife – as if that’s not enough, he needs another chick?! Fuck I hate being jealous. But I know that Noodle is not looking for anyone else, he wouldn’t have the time anyway, unless he ended it with me – I wonder if he’ll ghost me? But between full time work, gym & his family, with his phone being tracked, I’m not even sure how he has enough time for me.

Later that week, I am home from work early after a regional trip & it’s his day off so he brings his iPad – well his son’s iPad, to my house so he can text message if he needs too & also check her location, but has left his phone at home so his location isn’t at my house. He’s turned it off the location settings on the iPad, fuck this is a lot of effort, so much so that I so ask him if I’m even worth it, every time he says yes, that I’m “Defiantly worth it” (yes he says defiantly every time! Hahaha) He comes over & we don’t have a lot of time, we’re in my dining room kissing & undressing each other. I love when he stands behind me kissing my neck undressing me, before spinning me around to kiss me, push me up against the wall… The passion I have for this man is matched by his passion for me, he slides his fingers between my legs making my cum so quickly, that I didn’t even think it was possible, he has to hold me up because I am weak from standing on tippy toes from tying to get away from his fingers. He takes me into the lounge room & sits on the ottoman & I kneel before him sucking his cock, he grabs my hair in only a way a guy can put your hair in a faux ponytail that they hold out of the way. Why is this act of grabbing your hair out of the way so sexy? Even when it takes them about 5 goes before they get all your hair up in one hand? Then they look at your all proud… I love that feeling. I do like my hair being pulled so I like that he uses this mock ponytail to move my head around. He moans & asks me how much I like sucking his cock, like a good little slut. He’s not really called me slut while we’re fucking before, I like it & I realise that he is enjoying this so much. He pulls on my hair when I don’t answer as I’m too busy & I look up at him to say I like it. I hate being forced to say stuff, but I also find it so sexy, I love that he’s being more dominant with me, this is what I want, this is what I love. Of course I don’t need it, but it’s very fun when he does it, I know he enjoys it too but hasn’t ever had the opportunity to be this dominant, so he struggles to have the confidence, but when he does, fuck it turns me on!

He stops me & stands me up, commanding me to sit on his lap. We sit there nose, to nose, kissing, while I rub my clit over his cock just feeling him against me before grab his cock with my hand to guide it inside me. I ride him, we are fucking like there is no tomorrow. It feels like we’ve been fucking for hours, but I look at the clock & it’s only been a short time. I’m thankful that we have more time together, usually it’s the other way around, times goes so fast. Today it feels like it’s standing still. He stops us & commands me to kneel on the ottoman, taking me from behind, I feel him so deep inside me, he spanks my ass without warning so hard that I yelp & somehow get wetter. Why does being spanked turn me on so much. He makes a noise, like he can feel how much wetter I get & spanks me again. I reach between my legs to rub my clit as he speeds up, feeling he is getting close to cumming. I cum pretty hard, with my eyes going blurry & he spanks me once more & I fall flat on the ottoman but he moves with him, not stopping fucking me hard till he cums.

It feels like hours, literally hours that he’s been at my house fucking me, time stood still but it’s only been an hour & 15 minutes before he has to go, to make it home before his partner. Of course later we talk about it, we always seems to discuss the sex we had later than night, I tell him how ridiculously hot it was, he agrees “Yeah was like pure fiction and fantasy but real, and natural… Not forced & lame kinda thing.” I ask him if it ever feels forced, because fuck I don’t want that with him, even when I tie myself up for him, I don’t want him to think that I am forcing him to do things he doesn’t want to do with me, he reassures me, “Always comes naturally. I just find that hot. Like your presenting yourself to do whatever I want to you type of way.” Well I’m glad we’re on the same page there… Imagine if I’ve been tying myself up for him to walk into & he didn’t even like it. Surely he would’ve said something by now if he didn’t. I guess I’m just as paranoid about looking like an idiot in front of him as he is in front of me. Phew…

One night he says to me “I bet your an even better fuck tipsy !” Sadly, he’ll probably nebver know, I tell him this & he tells me that “hahaha, you could always get shitfaced one day before I come over. & then let me fuck you like a whore. Bent over & fucked hard” Errr, don’t I do that anyway? He says yes I do let him “Your fucking awesome ! You are the best thing to fuck since sliced bread. Not like anyone fucks slices of bread. But your fucking amazing.” OMG he makes me laugh, I am smiling at my phone in bed, like a fucking wanker. “You make all my fantasies come true. Your like one huge fucking fantasy fucking machine. & the best part is, you suggest half the shit!” I then ask him, what would he rather “One ultimate night with me or a lifetime of carbs without getting fat?” I know how much Noodle likes his food, this will be a hard choice for him. But his reply is instant “One ultimate night with you.” Awwww, fuck!

#IBD4U

On Sunday morning Noodle is sneaking into my bed at 7:00 am after not having fucked me since Monday morning! I am horny as fuck & have missed seeing him, not only because I want to fuck him, but I do miss seeing him & having him touch me… I have missed his touch, his lips, his hands, even seeing his face. Not often does Noodle send me a face pic. Usually his dick or something random at his house, but I also want to touch him, feel his skin under my touch too… I miss that! But most of all, I hate that my vagina thinks for me with him, I want to be angry & ignore him… But I am so wet that he slides into me slowly but sweetly & I am cumming so fucking easily… This is just ridiculous! I hate that I have become this person, that I am so easily turned on by him that I can’t stay angry at him… FUCK… I wonder if it’d be like this if we were a couple! No, I must not think like that!

On Tuesday night, we’re back to our usual evening fuck! He is working at a store close by but is working later than usual so he comes to my house later. I am able to keep going to the gym then shower & wait for him. He comes over; I am in bed waiting for him, with the door unlocked. I can’t wait for him to fuck me again. We are kissing so hard as he just fucks me missionary style, seems boring, but fucks me he was hitting all the right places with me… I feel like I am going to cum the whole time, his cock gets me going so easily, I didn’t even know that it could ever feel like this… I feel like I’m going to explode. As he’s fucking me, he sucks my nipples hard or kisses me so deeply, almost so I can’t breathe, this feels so good tonight, why is he able to keep me on the edge by fucking me without cumming? Noodle is literally is the best sex I’ve ever had, even Boyfriend. I don’t look away or close my eyes when he looks at me anymore, we actually look at each other, he used to not look at me either, he’d look away when I look at him & I’d look away when he looks at me – we’re so fucking weird, but maybe it’s a way of protecting ourselves. But now our eyes lock, I look at him & he looks at me, I can see deep in his eyes & I know he can see what I’m thinking on my face, I have no poker face, I have a very expressive face. I feel so vulnerable in this moments when this happens but I can’t help but feel so close to him, I don’t know what this feeling is, I’ve never had it before. What does this mean? Does it mean anything? Or if it just that we’re comfortable with each other? When he breaks eye contact, he keeps fucking me, but then works his mouth all the way down to my nipples to suck them hard, while my arms are pinned above my head (seriously my favourite move), I try to move up the bed to get away from this sweet torture, but I am cumming so loudly, without warning & for a long time that I don’t think it’s ever going to stop! Afterwards he chuckles like a douche, so super proud of himself that he’s made me cum, especially without much clit stimulation, that I tell him to shut up, but he just chuckles more & runs his hands all over me as we lay there. I’m not a huggy person, but fuck I am wrapped around him, it’s not often we get to hug after sex, usually he’s jumping up to leave, but I cherish the times we get to cuddle afterwards. After sex like that – where we connected, I really need to cuddle & almost don’t want to break the spell.

This week has been shit, Noodle did an update on his iPhone, which caused him to not be able to fake his location anymore – this means it’ll be harder to see him, so he’s not been able too on his days off. It’s almost like Apple doesn’t support cheating?! Hahaha… I mean I don’t, this is fucked. I would die if someone cheated on me, but I can’t stop this! We’ve had some great text sex, sent videos & pictures but I hate that he can’t see me because he is tracked on his mobile. So it’s almost a week later, before Noodle is seeing me again, it’s Monday Morning, he’s had the weekend off… The virtual play has been fun, but I want him so badly. We seem to only fuck at my house… For obvious reasons we can’t fuck at his, but I do wonder what his house looks like. From pictures he sends of himself in the mirror or of his kitchen, I can tell he’s not a tidy person & assuming his family isn’t either. I can tell we’re very different people, but also very similar. I come from a family of hoarders, so I am completely the opposite, I live in a house with hardly any nick nacks, with not a lot of furniture. I know he’s a bit of a hoarder, he’s told me that, I reckon he’d have furniture in against every wall with shit all over it, book shelves with books, CD’s & DVD’s that no one uses anymore. But I can just imagine it. I wonder if I’ll ever get to see his house? Ooooh, that’s not a good idea… Why am I thinking that?! Why do I keep thinking these things.

So this changes things a little. I am thinking Noodle won’t be able to see me much now that he can’t fake his location. I’m also thinking he’ll back off here too, this is a perfect opportunity to get out of this… I have tried in my head, a million times, to end it, I don’t know how too, I also don’t want too… Stupidly, I am too involved now, just like Jack Dawson on the Titanic, ‘You jump, I jump’ Fuck, this is not good! Hang on? Didn’t I say my heart was closed? I am not wanting anything but what all these men have to offer? How the fuck did I end up being monogamous to a guy in a relationship (who ironically isn’t monogamous to me!), with my walls rapidly coming down without me even realising?! FUCK.

But it doesn’t change anything, the next night, it’s our usual Tuesday night rendezvous & Noodle is on the way to my house. I don’t know what he does about his phone or what he does to hide where he is. I hope his partner never finds out that he’s at my house! Or where I live, can you imagine what will happen if she knew? This will never end well, why am I still seeing this guy? & seriously, I am not seeing anyone else – this is not wise, I’m barely talking other people because Noodle gets jealous about it – also fucking stupid. Why do I care that Noodle get jealous & why do I go to great lengths to make sure he isn’t jealous & boost his ego? Maybe because I know what he’s been through? Or am I falling for this guy? NO, my heart is closed, remember!I honestly never ask him what he does to fake his location, perhaps I should but I don’t. Sometimes he tells me but I don’t really care about the lengths he has to go to, to be with me, that’s his problem. So he’s at my house, I’m naked (what a surprise! Sorry to all of you picturing me naked all the time! Hahaha) We talk & kiss as I undress him, he’s told me that he likes when I undress him… I guess that’s something people miss as a couple, you don’t really undress each other, I remember with Boyfriend, we always had sex when we were already in bed, usually when I wanted it, I went to bed naked, so he knew & when Boyfriend wanted it, he’d just start rubbing my side, spooning me… I don’t really remember ever undressing Boyfriend to be honest, even in the beginning, so the fact that Noodle likes it, reminds me of things I need to do when I get a partner to keep the spark alive.

Noodle & I kiss the whole time I am undressing him, him rubbing my ass, always telling me I have a nice ass, he’s told me before it’s better than his partners & that he loves my ass (those squats are paying off!), well the poor woman has had a kid & is pregnant & doesn’t gym 3-4 times a week like I do, so I hope I’d have a better ass than her, even if I am 5 years older. We move to the bed, he goes down on me which is absolutely amazing & he knows what to do now, I don’t have to guide him at all… Then once he is inside me, I am on the edge, my legs are wrapped around him, my arms around his head pulling him close, I can’t seem to get him close enough, I can’t get him in me enough, I know he notices because the look on his face is him struggling not to cum, I am close but can’t seem to get there, I am too busy pulling him as close as I can to me. I am kissing him & holding on to him so tightly with everything I have that I can’t control myself, I cum really hard & he follows me quickly. It’s almost a relief for him.

Later he tells me “Your body reacted so well to missionary tonight.” I tell him that I have no idea why or what that was about, when he says “Your body was gripping me like a vice” I tell him that something was different tonight & that I couldn’t help but feel his pelvic area was hitting me in the right spot. I have no idea what happened, he doesn’t either… All I know is that it was fucking amazing! How does it keep getting better?!

#IBD4U

So Noodle is back at work & the first day back, guess what, he’s at my house, fucking me! He’s working at a store about 10 minutes from me, but only for a few weeks then he’ll be moving to a store far away from me for a few weeks till they find him a store but we’re not sure which store. He says it’ll still be southern, I suggest my local store but that’s when he tells me that’s where she works….. Are you fucking kidding me dude…. He knows I shop there!! Why would he wait this long to tell me… What a fucking idiot! Time to change stores…

I hope that his permanent store is still close within a lunch break drive away or something will have to change, I guess. I don’t want it too, as much as I want to be with this guy (Errr, where did that come from!?) I am worried what it would be like for us if we were together. I do have a little fantasy of being with him all night, spending the whole night, sleeping in his arms… UM WHAT? I am not a cuddly sleeper, but fuck I want to be in this mans arms all night! To wake up next to him, would be a dream come true… I kind of wonder if he snores or how he sleeps, would he be a cuddly sleeper or would he want his own side of the bed? Would we wake up to have sex in the middle of the night? Or would we just be boring & sleep… I guess we would if we slept together every night, eventually…. Or would I want to fuck him every day for the rest of my life… What the actual fuck… I thought I didn’t want a boyfriend, my heart was closed?! But I can’t help but wonder if there is ever going to be a time when we can do this? I really don’t ever want to tell him about this fantasy… I mean he’ll probably freak out… I am in way too deep to freak him out at this point!

The Monday morning, we are in my bed when we end up in front of my mirror with me on my knees sucking his cock again, while he videos it, of course… I love how much we video & take pictures of us. It’s super-hot. It’s also hotter how much more dominant Noodle is with me too… It took him a while to get there, mainly because he has this fear of looking like an idiot in front of people & I know that he thinks I am this very experienced kinkster that he didn’t feel comfortable with me. Now it’s been almost 2 months since I fucked another guy & he knows that… That fact, I know makes him happy – I know he has relaxed with me a lot more! I have relaxed with him a lot more too… I’m too fucking relaxed, I am not really thinking of a future, which scares me, but I’m also not thinking of the day this ends… This will not end well for me, men never leave their partners especially when they have kids. I need to disconnect.

I am always telling Noodle about a fantasy or two that I’ve thought up, I am constantly thinking of stuff, I mean just read my Erotica series to know how my mind works. I do start to worry though that Noodle doesn’t ever ask for anything, like he tells me he wants me, but I am always suggesting things we should do, how he should tie me up & stuff, when Noodle says ‘You pretty much blow me away with the shit you ask for. Your super kinky & make my fantasies come true without me even having to ask.’ I guess I need to stop worrying about it, but I want him to suggest things he wants to do, but I guess I beat him to it? He tells me “Ummm, you think any chick will let me fuck their ass? Cum on their tits? Walk in on them using a vibe on the pool table? Let me tie them up & have my way with them? Your fucking amazing & fucking hot. & Even our vanilla sex is like something out of a movie. I do not have low standards. Your just sexy af. & you do more than just lie there… you suggest some pretty hot stuff… moan.. kiss me… suck me… touch me…” Ok wow, when he puts it like that, I guess I am pretty good in bed?! Hahaha… But it also makes me wonder, but not ask him, does his partner not touch or moan with him? I mean I guess she’s recently stopped kissing him & she’s never cum with him, so perhaps she doesn’t moan or touch him… I have no control over it… I find him too sexy to stop.

During the week, Noodle suggests coming over in the morning because he can’t come over this Tuesday night as it’s his first night at this new store. Fair enough, so a morning visit is a our usual compromise. As he goes to sleep that night he doesn’t confirm that he’ll come over, but I wake up early at like 5:30 am in case he does, I lay there for ages getting more & more pissed off… I don’t hear from him & I am fucking pissed! I don’t know why I message him first, is it my turn or do I just want him to know I am awake at 6:30 am waiting for him to come over.

“Morning ass face” The longer it takes him to reply, the more angry I get… What the fuck is wrong with me?!

“Morning Gina Face, Joking” I seethe…

“I’m not joking”

“What did I do?” He asks

“You did nothing. That’s the point!! You were supposed to do something… but anyway”

“Oooh was I defiantly (yes he spells it wrong all the time!) meant to fuck you this morning? You said you had to get to work on time & was busy, wasn’t sure you were still keen.”

“Yeah Douche, you were. If you remember correctly, I said I’m free but need to make sure I leave on time & I believe I even said 8:15 – 8:30 at the latest.” He never stays that late anyway, as he has to be at work by 8:00 am usually, so don’t know why he thought me leaving on time was a problem.

“Oh whoops, sorry. Your poor pussy needed a fuck this morning.” I calm down a little bit… but I’m still angry… I get so angry when I don’t get sex & I thought I was going too… He doesn’t really know this yet, this is probably the first time that I am really pissed with him.

“All good, I figured last night you weren’t coming, so I sorted myself out & am home now sorting myself out.” Hopefully that thought makes him hard! I have made myself cum several times this morning & when I got home from work.

“Hahaha, of course you will… You could of just asked me to come over last night to fuck you”

“Yeah maybe, it was your suggestion… Assumed if you wanted to, you’d confirm” This is our problem, I hate asking him over & I never ask… I don’t want him to say no.

“Well I did want too but also wanted sleep” Are you kidding me, what guy wants sleep over fucking their mistress? Makes me think that his partner fucked him so he didn’t need me… FUCK!

“Pretty sure you said in the group several times sleep is overrated… you hate sleep, waste of time”

“I do hate sleep. Doesn’t mean I don’t need it” Who hates sleep? I guess someone with a partner who sleeps 15 hours a day, you’d resent it. I snap & I am aware I am being a bitch…

“Jesus, I’m even further down the priority list than I thought. I’m off to the gym to burn off some excess energy. Chat you later if I’m not interrupting your precious sleep”

“Hahaha na your above sleep, but I struggled getting up this morning so bad! Now now don’t get bitchy” I go to the gym for an hour & ignore him for a change! Fuck you Noodle, see how it feels when I ignore you. After the gym, I finally reply to him…

“Sex only once a week makes me bitchy” He’s offline, of course, so I wait for his response, which pisses me off more.

“Hahaha does it? So I have to fuck you twice a week minimum eh?”

“No you don’t ‘have’ to fuck me at all” Fuck, I don’t want him to think he has to fuck me…

“Stop you getting all bitchy? I actually thought I had seen you twice this week”

“You don’t have to see me twice a week.”

“Haha, I don’t have to see you at all… But I do enjoy fucking you for some reason”

“No you don’t. Hmmmm, not as much as sleeping, apparently!”

“OMG I’ve been up to like 1 am like every night chatting to you this week”

“You don’t have too, you know. I don’t want to be an obligation for you” I remember Max telling me that he didn’t want me to be an obligation but kind of implied that I was making our relationship an obligation for him. It made me feel like shit when he said it, when all I wanted was to know was when he’d make time for me & I don’t want Noodle to think that he has to do anything, just because we made that stupid agreement.

“Your not an obligation you twat“

“Well… Hmmm… Yeah, I don’t want that” I’m actually a little cut from this… I don’t want to be an obligation to him, I want him to want to see me.

“I want to fuck you just as much as you wanna fuck me don’t forget”

“But to get that, you don’t have to chat to me till 1 am” He doesn’t need to talk to me to get sex, I guess.

“I don’t? Yaye… Hahaha, you’re not an obligation, stop going all weird… You shitty?”

“Only cos I was horny & thought I was getting sex this morning” I hate that I’m like this sometimes…

“Oh I see… Sorry” I bet he’s not actually sorry, I know him, so I ask

“Are you actually even sorry?”

“Not really, I feel a tiny bit bad for getting you excited & not following thru I guess. Guess I better fuck you soon.”

“Douche. Not following though is my biggest pet hate.” He agrees that he should’ve said something, but I am so surprised that he is still talking to me after that… Fuck I’m am actual bitch! I could’ve also said something…! But I’m too stubborn… Although, all I’m asking from this guy & even Max is for them to message me & fuck me regularly… I don’t think that’s too much to ask… Maybe this is why I am single?

#IBD4U

The next day is my birthday, Noodle is going away for a few days with his family after “the gym” & I don’t think he realises it’s my birthday until someone in the group messages me. He’s worked out that he’s going to be at my house at 8:00 am after pretending to be at the gym & then the barber (Who apparently takes ages so gives him some extra time as an alibi…)

He messages me at 6:30 am to say happy birthday & says that I should’ve reminded him that he was going to fuck me on my birthday. I shouldn’t have to remind him, my bloody birth date is in my user name on the chat app, not that you look at the user name a lot, but he should know… However, I guess he is a dude, as if he knows when peoples birthdays are, probably doesn’t know when his son’s is…. I am not too upset about it, but at least he says Happy Birthday I guess. Hahaha.

He climbs into bed with me & we’re having amazing sex as always, Noodle has also really mastered the art of going down on me, he knows what I like & how to do it… He’s gotten better at doing it too, he wasn’t that great at it to start with. He gets me going so easily, that it’s just insane. Like I know I keep saying this, but how does this keep getting hotter? Doesn’t the passion & desire fizzle out? I want this guy more & more every time I see him… How am I going to go 10 days without him when I’m in Hawaii? I’m sad that he goes home & goes away to a place where he has no phone reception, so I don’t talk to him again until I am in Hawaii, the next day. What is this feeling I’m feeling of not wanting to be here in beautiful Hawaii, but also wanting to be here because I love travelling?! I want to be here with him! FUCK – where did that come from?

So after my birthday, I go to Hawaii for 10 days & don’t see him… We chat everyday even though there is a time difference; we still get to message when we can. I’m surprised we get in some decent chats, I look at the world clock on my phone every time I’m back in the hotel to try to get some decent conversation with him, thinking about her bed time & what he might be doing. Plus I don’t want to piss off my friends by constantly texting so I try to only do it when they are showering or getting ready too, but I know that I probably am using my phone too much!

The day I fly into Adelaide from Hawaii, Noodle is over my house at 5:00 pm & fucking me within a minute of being at my house… I am dying for his cock to be inside me. I hate that I haven’t felt his touch for 10 fucking days… I know it seems like nothing to you probably, but I have never had this type of passion or desire for someone in my life – ever. I cannot get enough of him, I cannot fuck him enough! I want to please him & I want him to feel desired, I want him to feel like I do when I am with him. I sometimes think he does, but I also just think perhaps I am just his mistress… Surely I am more than that now? This guy has become my fucking best friend… FUCK!

Over the weekend we are talking, as usual, I mean let’s just say here & now, that we talk every day all day when he’s not with her. I talk to him more than I have ever talked to someone in my life… I tell him that I think I look pregnant, I have been a bit of a yo-yo dieter & also struggle to get below a certain weight all the time. “You do not look pregnant. You have a beautiful & curvy body. Not in a fat chick way, in like a Marilyn Monroe type of way” I laugh out loud, because I know he means it but I also don’t take compliments very well, so I say, “OMG. You know I’m already fucking you right?” he says “You know I don’t bullshit you right? Guys can lie all they want to get laid about a woman’s body… But my hands don’t lie… My hands can’t stop touching you.” He even tried one day to not touch me as we lay there after we fucked, but his hands kept moving all over my body. I remind him of our pesky hands & he says “Your body feels amazing. Hahaha those pesky hands. Sometimes we need to tie them”

I get a little needy & he starts to piss me off with how he disappears when he gets home or can’t talk anymore, not even saying goodbye to me or anything… It fucks me off. Domused to do that to me all the time, he’d cum then hang up & not be back online, sometimes for days. Noodle will just not reply to my last message for hours on end & it does my head in… He stops replying & I crack the shits but today, he sends me a live shower picture, letting me know he’s in the shower, which he usually talks to me when he’s in there. When I call him out on not saying goodbye to me, he says “Only reason I do that is so I can chat to you as long as I can… Loser me” FUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK! So he doesn’t just disappear? He fucking chats to me as long as he can? I can’t fucking believe it… All this time I’m thinking that he just logs off & goes about his family life, when he is actually thinking about me… This is not what I was expecting! I really thought that he didn’t care that I was sitting there waiting his response all the time, I sit there like a loser waiting & see that the little grey d (showing me he’s got the mesaage but not online) stays there for a while & I know that he’s logged off for the evening. It’s cute that he does chat to me for as long as he can, but how fucking hard is it to say goodbye so I’m not waiting like a fucking dickhead!? Why don’t married men think about their loser mistresses waiting around for them? I know that he probably thinks I don’t care about him, I can just imagine what his mind is thinking, that I don’t care, but I fucking do, I fucking care too much & I want him to say goodbye to me. Shit!

You know when you talk to someone so much, I guess especially via message like we do that you start to pick up on dumb little quirks of theirs, well we start doing that, I think I notice me doing it more than him, like he starts sentence with “Errr” or “Pfft” or “Whatever” when I ask him if I’m hot or something, it’s quite funny & people in the group even notice that I start using it too… Holden (a admin guy I’ve talked about before, even tells me off, in a joking way! Hahaha FUCK. That’s fucked that people notice.) I can’t believe that people notice that I am talking like Noodle, it’s not good…

Noodle also tells me one morning that after we fuck he gets really hungry, I do too in fact, he says that it must be a bit of a workout & I agree, I’m always so sweaty & tired after fucking him too, I’ve never been that bad with a guy, I mean we do have very active sex, so I shouldn’t be surprised… I tell him that I just came hard to a fantasy of him & that I’m hungry now & he says “Sad thing is… I would get you breakfast… After I fucked you of course!” I tell him to bring me some as he says he’s cooking his breakfast, he says “Hehehe, I would if I could” & I actually believe him, I know he’d come over if he could.. I actually think that he’d prefer to be with me than at home while his partner sleeps… I wonder what our life would be like if i woke up to him every day? FUCK, where did that come from? What is wrong with me!? Jesus…

Noodle is back at work, after 5 weeks off, it didn’t change our routine, like I thought it would. We still talked every day, even with me in Hawaii, even with him on a camping trip with no mobile reception. We also still fucked more than once a week while he was on holidays, which was the thing that surprised us both, I guess. We definitely always chat, he finds time every day for me by getting up early or going to bed late (not that it’s ever that early or late really, she’s in bed a lot) or even I get a message when he’s in the toilet or shower or cooking dinner when he can hide his phone. But she could ask at any time to give her his phone so she can go through it, so he has to be careful – not sure if I’ve told you that fact before, but that’s why he has to delete the app when he’s at home & have a secret email where he keeps stuff that I’ve sent him. He also has bought an app that’s a calculator, it costs $5 a month, but it 100% looks like a calculator, however once you put in a certain code, it opens up to a file storage app! FUCKING HELL, I never knew there was a thing. But Noodle now has it to save all my pictures that I send him! He’s shown me his phone before it’s got so many apps on it, in folders & so many pages that it would completely fuck me off, mine is so ordered & organised. Hahaha. I guess he keeps his so disorganised so that she can’t really keep up with what he has on there & what he doesn’t…

It’s seriously insane to me what these 2 are like together… & the lengths he is going too to be with me… How can she be ok with living a life like this, being this paranoid? It would absolutely do my head in, I definitely wouldn’t be able to function, thinking my partner is cheating & being so untrusting that I would have to go through his phone. Like I’ve said, I guess she now has a reason to be paranoid, but she never did before…

#IBD4U

OMG, I have just realised that I haven’t told you the best part about Noodle … I’ve never had this happen with another guy before either… Not only do we have crazy chemistry & passion, plus you know how his cock makes me squirt cum within 2 thrusts, but once Noodle cums, his cock stays hard. It never goes down unless we stop completely! Yes, it never goes down! He just stays hard… He doesn’t cum again but he can keep fucking me to make me cum if he cums first (which isn’t very often, let’s face it!) I don’t even know how he does it but now we’re not using condoms, he seems to cum quicker but he can still fuck me. It’s fucking hot…!

Anyway, I go away for work for a few days so I don’t see Noodle till the following Friday morning when he pretends to go to the gym but comes over to my house at 6:30 am… She was right about the gym… She was right to try to stop him from going… Not for the reason she thought, I mean he was already fucking me regularly when he joined, but she was right. I do ask him at one point if he joined the gym, partly so he’d have an alibi to see me & he says part of the reason why he joined – he did actually want to use the gym too.

During this week we sext, sending videos & pictures to each other every day & night, turning each other on so much, to the point that when he climbs in my bed, I think I cum within 30 seconds, this worries me because we’ve got a routine down, we fuck the same way when we’re in bed & I don’t want him to get bored with me. But he tells me that “Sex & boring should never be in the same sentence with you… Sex with you is fucking amazing… Sometimes mind-blowing” he goes on & on telling me I’m a sexual goddess & that I don’t realise how insanely hot I can be… Yeah I don’t sometimes, but I’m starting to get the idea! Hahaha.

I also screenshot a conversation with Noodle where he was so descriptive this week that I got so wet from it, we have this conversation where I am pretending not to be turned on by him or missing his cock this week so he sends me this “As if you don’t want my hands touching you all over your body, grabbing your tits, then my tongue all over your body, start in your mouth, then make its way to your ear? Then kiss down to your nipples? Maybe lick & suck them while you’re tied up? Then kiss along your stomach to your thighs & lick along them & tease that pussy of yours? Just breathe over your clit a little while you’re tied up?” JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! Yeah fucking hell Noodle, I want you!

But the jerk burger, tells me that I am not allowed to cum until he sees me in the morning… Fuck that turns me on when he tells me what to do when I am not with him! I tell him that I am not even touching myself, which I’m not sure he believes, but I go to sleep frustrated & excited that he will fuck me first thing in the morning! When gets there, I am so wet having not been allowed to cum but literally being so turned on the night before. So I’m pulling him on top of me as soon as he gets into my bed, guiding his cock straight inside me, then he moans as I pull him inside me deeper. I cum so quickly, what a surprise & so does he.

He tells me at one point that his partner has said he’s a bad kisser & that they should practice kissing. First of all, I disagree with her… If a guy is a bad kisser, I can’t do anything with him – kissing is a big thing for me, but Noodle is not a bad kisser at all. I love kissing him… I ask him later how the practice is going & he said that she’s now decided that they aren’t going to kiss anymore, that he isn’t good at it. I’ll never understand how different she sees him than I do… I love kissing… I remember how shit it was that Boyfriend never wanted to kiss me… So this relationship between Noodle & his partner seems to me like it’s got a lot of negatives sexually, she’s never cum with him & now she doesn’t want to kiss him… She has friends but he seems to not have friends (He says it’s because he’s lazy & doesn’t maintain friendships, but I think it’s because she tracks his phone, asks so many questions so he just can’t be bothered.) How are these 2 even together? I know it’s been a while since I’ve had a relationship, but seriously, 10 years together & you have to practice kissing? Wouldn’t you address that in the first few months?

While he’s on holidays, he tells me that his partner left him a list of things to do. I don’t usually engage when he talks about her, trying to keep her out of the picture as much as possible, but I can’t help it… What type of fucking list? He sends me a picture of it… Now I’m not one to judge but I can’t help but laugh out loud at it to be honest… This woman is almost 30 & writing her partner a list – in different coloured pens? Have I just not been in a relationship for so long, that I think this is weird but actually is the norm? Is this something women do? I can’t even imagine how that conversation would go with a partner?!

Noodles First week of holiday’s list!

• Wash all the spare bedding when we have a day without rain
• Take bottles for recycling
• Clean & organise the top of the microwave
• Dust your console area
• Clean spare room & organise camping gear
• Give book shelf a tidy
• Clean off lounge room chair
• Find all tax stuff for us to claim
• Dinner cooked every night 😛
• Any clothes on hangers hung in the wardrobe
• Deep clean bathroom & shower

This should keep you busy for your first week

Right, well then! So I decide to write him my own list in the only coloured pens I can find, not only to show him how ridiculous this list is but also to show he that I’m a pretty funny cool easy going chick.

Noodles list of things to while on holidays…

• Tie me up…
• Tease me till I beg…
• Fuck any hole he wants…
• Repeat!

Again, the fact the Noodle does all the tasks on her list surprises me, He even shows me before & after pictures… I mean he tells me that he’s a asshole to her & obviously I see him being a dick in the chat groups – I witness that for myself, so the fact that he does the chores she tells him to do in the first week, really surprises me. I never ask him, but I wonder if it’s his guilty conscious? He has told me that he doesn’t feel guilty for cheating, but I wonder if that is actually true or not… However I don’t have a guilty conscious at all like I thought I would… I wonder why that is… It’s also around this time that she buys him one of those friendship bracelet things, that he actually wears. I mean I guess he can’t not wear it if she bought it, but when I ask him about it, he even seems embarrassed by it… I guess that’s a normal reaction when your lover sees something from your partner.

Over the weekend we’re chatting as always, turning each other on, I mean this is part of the appeal with him, the fact that I can’t see him all the time so we have virtual play, it’s basically like days of foreplay. He asks me how I make him want me so badly & I just say it’s a gift. Hahaha. “Find you so fucking irresistible… Find you so fucking hot… Tell you what, I’m glad I didn’t friendzone you now… With the combination of fucking dirty… kinky & sexy you can be” I say “I’m glad I didn’t let you friendzone me, what type of wanker does that anyway” but he says “A fucking dumbass. I could of missed out on the best sex of my life & with the dirtiest chick I have ever been with. Your like the perfect combo of dirty, kinky & sexy. I don’t think it gets hotter than you.” Fuck I love it when Noodle tells me that he didn’t want to friend zone me, that he wanted to fuck me all along, then he says “But… You are the only other person I want to fuck now so go figure” He asks me what I did to him & I just say that I have a magical pussy. Hahaha. “I only get hot, passionate, like movie sex with you… or porn star sex with you… or get to fuck you like a whore. Fucking amazing sex every time. Fuck I need to fuck you again.”

I am about to go away to Hawaii for my birthday so I there is going to be a week that we can’t fuck. He’s on holidays & I’m on holidays out of the country. I scared that I’m not going to see him before I go & then it’ll be like 2 weeks before we fuck again. I kind of sad that our statistic of fucking every week for the last 4 months, actually more than once a week, will be dashed because I am going to Hawaii… I am almost pissed off that I have this birthday trip planned, but also I want to go. I just don’t want to miss him… FUCK! I will miss him… NO, I cannot have these feelings… I will not miss him! I don’t care about him or this… this… I refuse to call it a relationship… What ever it is!

The morning before my birthday, I have a dude coming over to give a quote on my new roof & another workman for something. The roof guy won’t leave, but I’ve been messaging Noodle to say come over that this guy will be gone by the time Noodle get here… However the dude is still here when Noodle gets here. I know he’s worried about someone seeing him at my house, in case he knows the roof guy – which would be highly unlikely as I’ve not heard Noodle talk about a friend yet. Anyway, Noodle walks in the door & it’s probably the first time that we haven’t been naked instantly. The man in packing up in my kitchen so I kiss Noodle & rub my hand over his cock, it’s hard & I wish that the man was gone. I leave Noodle to usher the roof dude out my house, as he & I walk through to the front door, Noodle hides in my kitchen, the roof dude looks for him but can’t see who I answered the door too, so the roof dude is probably thinking I’ve made it up. As I shut the door, Noodle is behind me, kissing my neck & playing with my tits… We don’t have long & we’re naked & fucking straight away, that was probably the longest time that we were together without fucking… That’s kind of tragic, it was like 5 minutes! Hahaha.

#IBD4U

There’s that one guy in your extended group of friends who is single. He’s been single as long as since I’ve known him – a few girlfriends along the way but nothing lasting (however not as eternally single as me!). I never thought he was that attractive at all, but he lost a lot of weight & I personally think it made him worse. He was always an arrogant ass & I think now that he’s skinnier, he is much worse, thinking he’s god’s gift to women. However, his skinner face made his hair line recede & he looks a lot older than he really was. Well to me anyway… I guess I was lucky when I lost weight, I somehow got better looking, my whole face changed. (That’s probably the first positive comment I’ve made about my looks! GO ME! Hahaha.)

I always got the feeling, every time we were at an event together, that he was always thinking that I was interested in him & so he never talked to me. I didn’t ever fancy him I always thought he was too arrogant for me (which is funny since I’m with Noodle right now – however this guy was way before Noodle…) but many, many years ago, one night after I’d lost a lot of weight too, I was at my skinniest ever (at that time) we all went out, both of us staying at our mutual friend’s house. We went out drinking, I don’t remember the night well, but we were all drinking shooters – which are never good for me & so much alcohol. I am never good with shots… Why did I do shots?We get back to our friends house; they go to bed. I go into the room I’m sleeping in & settle in to sleep when the door opens, it’s him. I don’t remember if he ever said anything to me or how we started kissing but we fooled around in bed, he tries put his dick in me & I realise that there was no condom, I push him off & say he needs one, he gets up, leaves & never comes back. I’m assuming sleeping on the couch as planned… Jesus men can be complete assholes!

The next morning my friend comes into my room to see if I’m awake & is sitting on my bed talking about the night when she spies his shirt on the floor, she asks why it is there & I just say because he took it off in here… What else can I say, it’s true… Hahaha. OMG how embarrassing. She asks what happened between us & I say nothing, because nothing really did happen, I mean we kissed & that was about it…

Later I find out from my friend that he didn’t just leave me there in the room alone, he went in search of a condom.  He did text our friends to ask if they had any, which they didn’t so he just decided to sleep on the couch as planned. Rightio, I’m sure there were other things we could’ve done, but his loss!

Every time I see him since that night it’s even more awkward than before, he makes it awkward. I try to just chat & be nice to him. We do have mutual friends that we see a lot. We then are supposed to go on a group trip to the Falls Creek in the snow. I am not looking forward to spending a week with him there… There will be 2 single guys there & me, who I have to share a room with both of them. I am relieved then this one doesn’t have the money to go but then that means that I have to share a room with another single guy.

More recently I haven’t seen him much when I see my friend, which is good – even though he’s now living with them. We seem to do things without the guys a lot more – it was always a bit weird anyway, all the couples then me & him. I don’t want to be awkward around him or have him think that we should hook up again – that is never going to happen.. I also have been working hard to keep the weight off & I know he put some of it back on but I haven’t really seen him for ages. But I think people in our group think that because we have both been single the whole time we’ve known each other then we should be together. If only it were that easy!

#IBD4U

So Noodle is on holidays & says that he’s in my area that he can come over & see me for a few hours. I’m suspicious of why he is in my area, knowing that he can’t get out much without raising suspicion with her. When he gets to my house, we have sex immediately on my kitchen table, unable to make it any further before we are naked. But afterwards, I am able to ask him why he’s in my area – not normally something I would do because I don’t want to know the answer… He says that he met his partner for lunch to smooth things over about going to the gym & that he also joined. Well at least he joined & stood up to her, but I can’t believe that he had to go visit her for lunch to smooth it over. Obviously they had a fight about it & he had to go make it up to her… I asked him what he said to her & he just said that he asked her why she didn’t want him to better himself. She said that she was afraid he’d leave her for someone at the gym.

This is showing me a different side to Noodle that I never knew existed. He really is a different man than I thought… I am still into him a lot but this is not the type of thing I expected to be an issue for him – I expected him to be douchy about it & put his foot down with her, not be this guy who bows down to her threats! I can’t dwell on it too much, I don’t know what their relationship is like, clearly she wears the pants, I mean she did get pregnant with their first kid without him knowing, so I guess I don’t really know this guy at all… Maybe that’s why he’s such a douche online because he’s so suppressed at home?

One morning, I am horny (as per everyday) & I send him a little fantasy I used this morning to make myself cum, it was about him tying me up & teasing me… He says “How do you do this to me. Fuckkkk. So horny now” I laugh & say that I didn’t mean too. “Bullshit. This is why your sexy af…” I just keep playing my innocent card saying that it’s just harmless chats with my sex friend. “Harmless pfft… This is why I can’t stop fucking you… Making me dying to fuck you” I just laugh at him. He calls me a sexual goddess & we talk about how I’m sad that I don’t have any firsts really left for whoever I end up with, but Noodle says “He’ll be a very lucky guy.” He tells me that “You’re better in person than in my dreams. You’re a fucking fantasy. Like a walking living fantasy” *Screenshot!*We have also been during this time sending & receiving a fair few videos of us playing alone, being that we basically sext every night cumming in our own houses with each other virtually before we go to bed. His videos always are him jerking off & cumming all over their red carpet. I always think about that the most when I see him cum, does he wipe down the carpet afterwards? As soon as I start talking dirty with him, he’s there. Not like Dom, who hangs up when he’s done or disappears saying his phone went flat, conveniently right after he’s cum. (I’m not talking to Dom anymore, but that’s what he used to do.) Noodle is actually invested in me when I talk, he wants to be with me when I talk dirty & show him a video of what I’m doing. While we do virtual stuff because of the circumstances, he always says that he wishes I was there with him, sucking his cock or fucking him. I wish that too…

I still play the sweet innocent card with Noodle all the time. He says “So nice, sweet and innocent girls send me a video of a vibe in their pussy & a butt plug in her ass?” Hahaha… yes I did that! It was super-hot… I tell him he’s corrupted me so he says “I can deal with a corrupt single woman… cos she’s turned out to be this amazing sexy kinky fucking sexual goddess of a woman” HOLY FUCK!

The next afternoon, Noodle couldn’t keep away because I got him so horny this morning. I decide to try something that I’ve not ever done before. I get naked with a vibe & I wait for him to arrive. He walks in now, because he knows the door will be unlocked for him – he doesn’t even knock. I am naked on the pool table with a vibe between my legs… Our eyes meet & I can’t look away. He walks slowly towards me saying “What are you doing?” as I sit there teasing myself in front of him. He stands a few feet away from me but I ache for him to touch me, he stands there looking like he wants to touch me too. I tell him that I want him to touch me; he hesitates because he knows that if he does we’ll probably end up fucking. But we’ve sort of talked this scenario though, I want him to watch me & not touch. He kisses me & touches me a little; I of course kiss him back. But then I push him away & tell him to sit on the couch & watch. He’s naked before he takes the 3 steps to the couch & he sits down, stroking his cock as he watches me pleasure myself in front of him.

He gets out his phone & I know he’s videoing this, telling me to cum for him. I do, of course, I mean I can’t hold it in, even if I tried. He ends up not being able to take it anymore, so he comes over to fuck me on the pool table. Fuck it’s hot & quick & I now love the feeling of him cumming inside me. I reckon that is the hottest thing I have ever done for a guy! Later he tells me “Well once again you give me mind blowing sex” I ask him what his favourite part is “Watching you use a vibe while on the pool table… That was mind blowing hot… that’s like straight out of a fantasy or porno… Fuck you can be insanely fucking sexy” Well then! Hahaha. “That’s the hottest thing I’ve seen in my life” I tell him that I’m glad I can give him what he doesn’t get from his partner & he reminds me that “Don’t think you realise we only have boring sex, haven’t done anything exciting in ages” I kind of feel sorry for her & a few months ago, I would’ve tried to get him to talk to her about it – I mean I did try to get him to talk to her about their sex life, but I’m in too deep now to want her to change. I tell him that I’m nothing special that he should try to have some exciting sex with her but he says “You are special you twat… You’re like the most amazing chick I have ever fucked” I say that he’d probably get bored with me after 11 years but he says that he’d never get bored with me.

Look after all the married guys I’ve talked too & now this affair; my biggest fear is being cheated on because of the sex, or lack thereof. So I’m pretty sure no guy is ever going to cheat on me because I am now more open to the element of an open relationship of some sort. Definitely not like Max & Sweetie who have girlfriends & boyfriends but some sort of open mindedness about wanting someone else. Don’t judge me on that, but I’m not 100% sure what the rules would be but there would be something open about my next relationship. I know I get jealous, so I wouldn’t do it right away, but eventually I am open to it.

One day Noodle & I are still talking about how hot our sex is & I just say that I can’t help it, I like sex. He says “There’s liking sex… & then theres you…” I have to laugh at that… Yeah that’s true, I do like sex a lot! Noodle is the closest I’ve found to matching my sex drive.

Noodle suggests lunch while he’s on holidays still, I think that this is first since our first actual meeting date that he’s offered to see me with the potential to not having sex. I tell him that I think that this is the most functional FWB that I’ve ever had but he says “Hahaha. Really? You don’t get anything friendship wise from me except to chat a lot…” Yeah dude, that’s friendship – I get a lot more than he realises from him. I talk to him more than I’ve ever talked to anyone else in my whole life. I say there’s no blurred lines, no bullshit. He says “Yeah we don’t bullshit each other. Even tho sometimes I’m a dick & think you are… Which is my own fault because that comes from my terrible self-confidence” Whenever I tell him that I like his cock or something like that, he reckons I’m lying to him or whenever I tell him that I am not fucking anyone else but then flirt with someone in the group, he thinks I am lying to him. I’m not, I’m telling the truth! If only he could read this! But even then I doubt he’d believe it… He’d seriously be reading this thinking I wrote it to boost his ego… Well I’m not, I don’t do that about any guys in this blog! Why start now?

#IBD4U

One thing I hate is someone saying “You’re attractive” I don’t know why I hate that word so much, I guess it’s something you say to someone when they’re not beautiful or they don’t know what else to say to them about their looks. I used to get called attractive when I was fat so now that I am not & my face has changed a lot, I get called gorgeous or beautiful, things I don’t associate with me at all… (I know the self esteem issues of being a fat single girl for 12 years will always prevail! I’m working on it.)

So when Noodle calls me attractive, my heart sinks & I think that he isn’t into me at all – slight overreaction, I know but this is where my head goes. So when I explain why I hate attractive, he says to me “You are gorgeous & beautiful too – attractive just means attractive to me.” Well fuck he knows the right thing to say sometimes. I, of course, still find it hard to believe him so he reassures me further “You don’t believe my hands when they touch your body?” I do believe his hands but I think that’s just because I’m a different person to his partner, who he’s been with for 10 years & she’s also bigger than me (Apparently from what he says) – that doesn’t mean that I should think I am sexy. “Even if you are different… My hands still find you sexy & hot… & gorgeous & beautiful. & sometimes I might find you cute” FUCK…

Noodle knows I am not fucking anyone else anymore & haven’t for almost a month, I feel like he’s let his guard down a little bit more with me, not being as douchy & really boosting my ego a lot more. This is weird for me, this is usually when the guy pulls away from me. This seems to be drawing Noodle closer.

The next week, I have a week off work; he is now finished at his store & starting 5 weeks of holidays himself. I am worried things will be different for us, that we won’t get to see each other. But with him able to fake his location on his phone, it makes it easier; however he doesn’t do a lot outside of working, like play a sport or have a lot of friends to use as an alibi. I wouldn’t have a problem coming up with an alibi & I often think up things that he could do or say but he doesn’t seem to want to draw attention to the fact he’s having an ongoing affair.

On the weekend we are chatting, as usual, the whole time she’s at work or asleep, which let me tell you, is a lot. They don’t spend a lot of time together, nor do they spend a lot of time as a family, as I would if I had a family, like going out to parks or whatever but they never see to do anything like that. When he says something about his food, it’s not unusual, we talk a lot about food as always, but then he says something about his partner not being able to eat a lot of things right now. I think what the fuck does that mean? When it hits me… She’s fucking pregnant. He dances around the subject until I force him to admit it to me how far along is she, she’s just over a month along… So I get why he hasn’t told me. Shit… He tells me that he’s happy but they’d had quite a few miscarriages so he was at a point of not wanting to keep trying to get pregnant. I also get the feeling that he isn’t entirely happy about the pregnancy, now that he has me… Maybe that’s wishful thinking… Obviously this guy is having an affair, he seems to think that it’s purely because of their sex life, but that is absolute fucking bullshit. It’s never just about sex if they are chatting to the same woman or seeing the same woman. If it was about sex, he’d pick up any woman & fuck her, then discard her… It’s easier to cover your tracks then… A guy wouldn’t build a connection with someone, they wouldn’t tell their mistress any personal details or talk to them for hours on end if it was just about sex. For me there would be no last names, no job titles – I would even be weird about them seeing what type of car I drove! I know all of this about him.

I don’t know how I feel about her being pregnant. I guess, I am not entirely happy because it ties him to her even more – a second child… There is no hope for anything with him now… JESUS, where did that come from?! I need to stop thinking that shit right now, there was never any hope with this guy. It’s the wake up call I need. However, I don’t start seeing other people. I still stay right where I am, just fucking Noodle.

On the Tuesday morning, we have some more time together, he comes over later in the morning – not at the crack of dawn like usual, & stays till almost lunch time. We’re in bed teasing each other, we’ve been getting better at actually doing longer foreplay than just wanting his cock deep inside me within seconds of being naked. We’re kissing in bed, he’s on top of me, we’re about to fuck, I’m begging him to be inside me, he’s resisting because he hasn’t put a condom on yet. I say “Just fuck me” (meaning put on the condom & fuck me) but as he slides his cock inside me, without a condom, I don’t stop him… I want this… I haven’t fucked a guy without a condom for quite a while, I almost forgot how different it feels. It feels so divine, I never thought it could or would feel like this… I almost wish I’d been fucking him without a condom the whole time, this feels right. He tells me how good it feels for him too & we look at each other with this look of knowing there is no going back now – but also a look of should we be doing this? This changes everything. This changes the dynamic of what we have together, I know it seems like a small thing, but it’s significant. It’s only been 3 months since we started fucking, so this is fast, considering he’s got a partner who he definitely isn’t using condoms with. FUCK. Later he tells me “That was so hot this morning, Gonna have to try & NOT think about it all day” Yeah, I’m not sure how I’m going to get through the day without thinking about it either.

We don’t really talk about not using condoms anymore, but after that, we never use one again & it’s so much better… I forgot that there’s no interruption to get it out the draw & open it, put it on… Makes sex flow even better… Though I will miss when he’s kneeling above me, leaning over to get it out of the draw & him trying to open the packet, so I surprise him with a quick suck of his dick… I won’t do it AC (After condom hahaha) because it takes like plastic. Noodle has only gone down on me once after he’s fucked me & he said it tasted rank… Thanks Noodle! Hahaha. He just meant the plastic taste.

The next day driving to Murray Bridge for work, I see a message from Noodle saying “My wife says she’ll leave me if I join the gym” I literally look at the message for the longest time & don’t even know what to reply. Noodle & I have been talking about the gym a lot, I go a fair bit having found a little independent gym that I actually like & he’s been saying that he’s needing to go to the gym too. My first thought though to her wanting to leave him & his message to me is “Are you kidding me, that he’d let an ultimatum stop him from joining a gym?” but also I briefly think “What if she does leave him? Would we be together?” I don’t know what to say I am surprised at how weak he is really. I ask him if he’s going to let that stop him & he says “I don’t know, I didn’t think she’d threaten that.” I mean she’s been threatening to leave him for ages, he’s told me numerous times that she threatens to leave when things get tough or when she asks him if he’s cheating, saying that she’ll move to Tasmania, where her parents are going, taking their Son with her & he’ll never see him again. He tells me that he asks her why she doesn’t want him to go to the gym & she says “Cos I said so” WOW… Mature… Why would someone threaten someone else to make them stay with them? Also who are these women & why do they have a partner & I’m still single?

#IBD4U

Years ago, Like I’m talking about 8 years ago now – long before I started dating multiple men, I went out with a friend & was chatting to a semi nice looking guy when my friend I was over with started chatting to him about geeky things & ended up kinda phasing me out of the conversation. Whatever, she can have him… I had just lost a lot of weight so was feeling good about myself but still also had some self esteem issues. One of my reasons for losing weight was so boys would like me. (Yeah fucked up I know) I figured if I lost weight & looked better, then I’d get a boyfriend… I wish I could go back to 30 year old me & tell her that it doesn’t matter what you look like, if a man doesn’t want you, he doesn’t want you… DO THIS FOR YOU! Good advice now, but still working on it believing it.

Nearby was another guy, the perfect thing I needed that night after that swift move from my friend. A guy who was interested in me, he bought me all my drinks, every time I was at the bar, he was next to me with a $50 before I could pass over my $20 note (This was long before paywave!), he was completely adamant that women shouldn’t buy their own drinks. I’ve always been uncomfortable with men buying me drinks – not only could they spike it, but also because I don’t think I am that hot, people shouldn’t buy me drinks… But this night, I just let it happen. I did offer money, because that’s what I do, however he didn’t take it.

We kissed for a while, he was talking about how much he liked me but I wasn’t that interested in him – you know, for anything beyond this night, he wasn’t really my type but he’d served his purpose for the evening – not the drinks mule part that you’re probably thinking – I am not like that usually but he made me feel good about myself while I was a bit low… I clearly have issues, I know, you don’t need to think it. But when something crappy happens to me, I seek validation from someone else. Not a good pattern & I don’t know how to break it. (Clearly I still haven’t worked that out yet either, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this blog) So when he asked for my number, I got through the first 7 digits & wondered if I really wanted this guy to be calling me tomorrow. I don’t hesitate while giving out my number, but I gave him the last 3 but changed the last digit, good move! Oddly he must’ve sensed something because he then decided to try to call me & told me to answer it. FUCK… Who does that? I told him my bag with my phone was over with my friend, which was true, but I wasn’t going to get it.

To this day, it’s the first & only time I have ever fake numbered a guy, I mean lets be frank, I don’t often meet men in bars that ask for my number, I’m not the type of woman that men swan about like peacocks. Begging for her number… I’m still not really sure why I did it & I don’t think I’ll do it again because now I’m strong enough to just say “No I’m not giving you my number.” But that night, it was just what I needed… He seemed a bit possessive when I wouldn’t get my phone to show him that he’d called the right number & got a little full on… I decided to go grab my friend & get the fuck out of there…

Maybe that’s one of the reasons why my karma is so bad with men, because I treated his one so badly? I’m sure there are others I treated badly too, I’m not innocent & play a part in every story in this blog… But this is probably the worst thing I ever did to someone, that I can remember, I would hate if a guy did that to me, but then again, I don’t pursue people, if they don’t write back I don’t keep messaging them until they respond like some guys do. I pretty much write people off assuming that if they stop talking to me, then they died. Yes that’s right died, why else wouldn’t a guy want to spend time with me? Surely it’s because they died that they didn’t text me back or call me or try to see me again. I mean what other reason could there be? Hahaha.

#IBD4U

I just want to start this Noodle post by saying that I am glad that you are all still with me on this journey…  I appreciate it! I know the topics I discuss particularly in this series has some triggers for some people & believe me, I am not proud of how far this relationship has evolved but hopefully you just stick with me, reading it, judgement free…!

The next day, as if either of us need sex after the 3 hours we spent yesterday fucking at my house & at his work, but apparently he can’t get enough of me as he’s sneaking into my house on the Friday morning for another two hours… I really don’t know how he does it, but he seems to get away with being at my house every few days. This is the most a man has ever seen me that wasn’t Boyfriend (& he only saw me because we lived together!)

This is also probably the most I have ever seen Noodle, his job has changed quite a bit being that the store is closed, so I am not complaining, I am just concerned because I know what I am like… I have a guard up, men start off seeing me all the time, like several times a week, messages all the time, I let my guard down & then kind of fade away slowly… I treat people the same throughout the encounter/relationship etc, so if I see them a lot in the beginning, I expect that we will continue like that. I know I have high expectations & my friends tell me I do expect a lot from them but that’s just who I am, I like to see people a lot when I am seeing them… Why wouldn’t they want to see me too?

I know this can’t last & I am scared about how attached I am already… I haven’t fucked anyone else for a few weeks now, which isn’t long but when I started seeing Noodle I basically had 5 men in my rotation. I am down to one, who is showing me so much attention, the attention that I would want from a single man…

One morning at 5:50 am, I wake up to messages from Noodle, not unusual & not uncommon these days being that he’s always up earlier than me. We don’t take it in turns anymore, just whoever is up first! “Good morning hun, Your profile pic is stunning.” I know this is a joke message when I read that “You look like an angel. I’m 32 M down south that loves to eat pussy & can do it for hours” I laugh, this is something all men seem to say that they love going down on a woman & could do it for hours. ”Message me sexy baby when you wake up!” I literally am laughing out loud & smiling like an idiot as I respond telling him that he has a problem. That ”sexy baby” doesn’t even sound right coming from him. I love that he has this sense of humor… I am attracted to people who make me laugh, a lot.

Noodle tells me about a conversation with Leblek (from Shark) & shows me a screenshot, where she has been messaging him & tells him that every chick has fallen for him on the chat app. FUCK, why would she do that? She knows I’m with him. I get jealous, I don’t want others wanting him… Well I don’t care if others want him, what I care about is him wanting them back… So all I can say to that is ”Don’t get a big head” but in only the way he can, he puts my mind at ease, as if he can sense the jealously, ”I should already have one, if I pulled you” I love that response… That makes me so happy that he can sense my jealously. When he realises that he’s being too nice to me, he says that ”You’re just ok” so I snap back ”Fuck you… Go find someone better than me then!” he quickly responds & I think he’ll say something equally as douchey ”I don’t think it gets much better than you…” he also says that ”I don’t think anyone would fuck me like you do” WOW, that was unexpected.

I don’t see him over the weekend as his work is now basically shut & he’s working Monday to Friday. He comes over Monday morning for an hour, & then again on Tuesday morning – since he no longer is working late nights. On the Tuesday morning, I get up before he comes over & tie myself to my bed so that when he walks in, he sees me spread out for him. He always loves it when he sees me, I like to surprise him with something different. He spanks me & videos everything…

The next day I tell him that I checked our condom supply & its getting low, he says surely not there was 12 in the pack. I laugh & tell him not to worry, but we go through them very fast & that I still have some, so it’s all good. He tells me that it’s my fault… WHAT? My fault, how? ”Too irresistible. FUCK” Hahaha… He’s being way too nice to me! & why do I like it so much when he is so nice to me. Am I so starved for some affection that I am willing to lap up what this guy has to offer?

A couple of days later, Noodle is over after work for an hour, we fuck in the lounge room & as he’s pulling up his boxers, while I sit there recovering from multiple orgasms, he looks at his apple watch then at me & I can tell she’s calling him or messaging him. I’ve seen that look of horror before… He picks up his pants & digs around in his pocket for his phone & gets it out answering it, it is his partner – I can hear her & hear the way his voice changes. I wonder if she can tell too? He starts pacing around while on the phone. He tells her something about how she should’ve sent it back so I know she’s talking to him about a work related thing & it’s not about me or where he is. They both work for the same company, just at different stores & in different managerial positions – I’m not sure why she called him & didn’t ask someone at the store this question. I guess she has always been suspicious, I guess maybe she’s trying to catch him out? He hangs up & I don’t really pry him & ask if everything is ok, he seems stressed about the conversation, still pacing around while getting dressed & I again think that he’s going to back off a bit with me.

Again, it doesn’t stop him! In fact, it doesn’t even change how we are with each other at all… We even start with little nicknames for each other, I don’t really know how it came about but he starts calling me cute nicknames like marshmallow & lovebug after he says ”Just wanna squish you, you sexy white squishy little marshmallow” This is about the time that I start calling him “Gumdrop,” which he says he hates but I know he also loves it, I know how his mind works. It’s a bit like the nickname Noodle, he says he hates it & hates that everyone calls him that in the groups, but he loves it & it shows him that people care about him. Something he craves a lot after his childhood trauma.

It’s also around this time that he starts mentioning how I give him a weekly blowjob, he seems to think that its only weekly but he generally gets one every time we fuck! I love his cock & love it in my mouth. I never thought I would say that about a guys dick, but there you have it! We’re having sex more than once a week, so I’m sure he always gets a weekly blowjob from me!

Boy am I wrong about Noodle backing off, the next morning after the phone call afternoon, Noodle is coming over to my house for a morning romp as usual. He’s been to the store & opened it up returning to my house until I have to go to work. Seriously I love morning sex, it’s my favourite sex. We do it so well, he turns me on so much that I can’t stop this thing even if I tried… I have in my head so many times, tried to end it, how I would I do it, why I should end it. But I can’t… This is why, this is & this is literally the hardest thing that I have ever done! Do I have deeper feelings for this man?

As he standing at the door kissing me goodbye, he looks at his apple watch & pulls a face, while looking back at me, I again know that look… Its her… ”My wife just sent me a really weird message” I ask him what is it, which I don’t normally do because I don’t want to know what she’s saying, I honestly try not to think about her as much as possible. But he says that “She said that I’ll never see Linkin Park again.” Now Linkin Park is one of my favourite bands of all time, even my last car was named Chester after the lead singer. Noodle & I have talked about music, we have very similar tastes. Linkin Park is one of his favourites too. We had also worked out that we were at the same concert a few years ago too, not that we would have met, but I kind of think that as a bit of a sign, I mean the universe knows we should be together. Oddly the universe has put us in the same place at the same time a few times over the years… He used to date one of my employees when I was a manager at Foodland, I was with Boyfriend then so we wouldn’t have known each other but I find it odd that we would have crossed paths. Noodle & I have also worked out that we chatted several times on the anonymous app more recently, but because we don’t message people first, we both stopped chatting to each other. UNIVERSE! I don’t normally believe in that stuff, the timing wasn’t right then, but is the timing right now?

Anyway Noodle & I don’t think much of the text message & he turns to leave my house but smacks straight into the screen door, because it’s almost see through. I can’t help but laugh, but try not too because I know he’ll feel like an idiot for doing that. If I did that, I would laugh my head off & make them laugh too, being a bit of a larkin, but I know he isn’t like that. I laugh quietly to myself later all day but after he leaves I google what happened to Linkin Park only to find out that Chester has committed suicide. I literally message Noodle immediately & start playing their albums on repeat. Oddly all the lyrics to their songs, somehow, remind me how fragile this thing is with Noodle & how scared I am that I’m going to lose it…

#IBD4U

While Noodle & I talk every day, it’s a bit longer between the Saturday all day visit till the Wednesday when he comes over in the morning. I’m in bed of course when he gets there, after all it’s 6:30 am & my alarm doesn’t usually go off till 7:15 am, though I’m usually awake before he gets there anyway because I know he’s coming & I’m excited…

He climbs into bed with me & starts the usual rubbing my side all over till I roll over & face him, kissing his ridiculously minty breath. He smells divine that I think that just the smell of his deodorant (which I’m pretty sure is just a supermarket antiperspirant spray) will tip me over the edge. When we fuck he reaches over to get a vibe out of my draw & uses it on me, I cringe but also enjoy his cock in me wile he has a toy on my clit. I am almost cumming on his cock when he turns the fucking thing off… I cry out “Prick” but he just laughs… Fuck you Noodle… I actually say his real name, which I never do with a guy, I never say their name… He starts going again & I am almost cumming when he stop again… What a fucking jerk… I call him more names while he just chuckles… Finally I start begging him to let me cum & this time he does, the build has been so intense that I am cumming on his cock so hard, arching my back & eyes going blurry. I am so sated after that, that I don’t know how I keep going & cum again right before he does – but I do!

We’re texting the rest of the day (of course) & he says that he’s about to finish work, I am home so I suggest that he comes over for a afternoon delight, even though we fucked for hours this morning, I find that that more I get sex, the more I want it… I want it daily… He says that he can’t & he should go home & I can’t help but hide my disappointment, I mean I guess this guy can’t just fuck me whenever I want, he does have a family, with a phone tracking partner… So I write it off, hating that I even asked him because I don’t ever ask him to come see me, I generally wait for him to be free.

Sitting on the couch, waiting for him to respond & feeling like an idiot, I hear a car pull up in my driveway, I am tempted to look, but I don’t want to be disappointed that it’s not Noodle & just a mail man or a neighbour, but before I even get to the window, there’s a knock at my door, I open it & Noodle is standing there… Before I even register I say, “What are you doing here?” as I open the door, which is stupid because I just asked him to come, he grabs me as he says “This” kissing me & walking me backwards into my bedroom, we’re naked & fucking within less than a minute of him being in my house… Jesus this man is just as taken with me as I am with him! We fuck, connecting so quickly with such passion that I think that no one else in the world has the chemistry we have, no one else has ever fucked like this… He later tells me that he thinks this was the most risky fuck we’ve ever had, I don’t really agree, since we’ve fucked in his work before… But he seems to think so, but his partner is at work, so I’m not sure why he thinks that. However, it was so amazing, I don’t even care!

A few days later on Friday morning, Noodle is sneaking into my bed at 6:00 am again, I ask him when he has to be at work but he tells me that he’s already been to the store, unlocked it & come to my house, so he can leave when I need to go to work. Hmmm… This is a new thing… If his work finds out, he’s fucked! The following Monday he does the same, sneaking into my bed, he’s doing this so much now that I am leaving my keys under the mat the night before in the hopes that he would rock up & genuinely wake me up for sex. I am already awake sort of when he does get into bed with me at 6:00 am, he’s done the same again, gone to the store, unlocked it & come to mine… We have sex usually him on top & pinning me down because that what’s gets me going pretty quickly, since we only have a short time together & he likes to see me struggle. We’ve both become more vocal during sex, this is probably the first time I have been ok with chatting to a guy while fucking, telling him what I want & asking him to do things or begging him to make me cum.

When I first embarked on this kinky journey, I have watched enough porn to know that I would absolutely never be ok with a guy slapping me across the face or degrading me by calling me names like ‘slut’ or ‘bitch’ nor would they ever force me to suck their cock… Well it turns out that I love being made to suck Noodle’s cock, that it turns me on A LOT. I also have found that I love when he calls me ‘His Slut’ – I still don’t like bitch but I do like it when he refers to me as his & the fact that he likes to call me slut. I know it’s not derogatory as if he’s calling me a name, but it’s all part of the scene. I know he likes it & I grow to actually love it. I mean even when he calls me ‘His mistress’, I feel like there’s something naughty & hot about that… I know that I shouldn’t be enjoying this at all, but fuck it turns me on!

A few days later Noodle is sneaking into my house, this time I am up & waiting for him, I am naked this time, finally building up the courage being that he’s seen me naked so many times, in so many different positions, that I shouldn’t be self-conscious of my body with this man, he knows every inch of it, he’s touched every inch of it, he’s basically kissed every inch of it. He likes what he sees of course, I mean what guy wouldn’t like walking into their mistresses house to find them naked waiting for him? We fuck in the chair in my lounge room before I suck his cock while he video’s it… Why is videoing so hot? I hate seeing myself in the videos but I do enjoy how much he enjoys it!

I have been buying so many condoms, as you can imagine, we use several per session, so I tell him that we’re running low, knowing that I will pick some up this weekend when at the shops. I usually buy them online because the pack sizes are bigger & cheaper, but I need them right away.

On the Wednesday I’m off work again, (Am I ever at work? Hahaha! While he has more time, I have been taking some days off for other things but in the hopes that he would see me too… Which he does.) He rocks up at my house at 11:00 am with a packet of condoms, the correct brand & latex free ones that I buy – he has told me that he hasn’t used condoms in a while (Obviously) but these ones are really thin & they apparently don’t feel as shit as condoms used too… I am a bit excited that he’s paid attention to the condoms I use & taken the initiative to buy some! We fuck at my house for two hours, but again my favourite part is just laying with him afterwards & just chatting in person, cuddling each other. We’ve actually been lucky that we haven’t had that many miscommunications while chatting online & ghosted each other, because we don’t often get to talk face to face.

Later that day we’re still chatting of course & he says that everyone has left the store & he’s there by himself so he suggests that I come over to fuck him in the office again, I jump at the chance… When he tells me to bring a vibrator, I instantly get wet… I slip a condom or two in my pocket & head over to his store at 4:00 pm. There is no one in the back carpark, so I park next to his car & message him to tell him I am there & wait for him to pop out & get me. He takes me straight into a different office, telling me that this one is the only one that’s still got stuff in it & the one he’s using. He shuts the door, even though we’re the only ones here, I am still conscious that any manager could potentially rock up unannounced. This time we’re both naked & he’s fucking me facing him while sitting on the desk & using the vibrator on me over & over again, till I cum so many times I lose count, before pulling me up & turning me around roughly, grabbing my hands behind my back, I think what the fuck is he going to tie my hands with or will he just hold them – I didn’t bring rope or cuffs… He reaches in front of me for a computer cord, when I feel him using that to tie my hands behind my back, I moan with excitement & feel the excitement between my legs build. He fucks me from behind till I am cumming (As if that takes long with this guy). He’s not done so he sits down & with my hands still tied, I am fucking him, straddling him in the chair. He doesn’t cum, saying that he came this morning so finds it hard to cum again. He doesn’t seem to mind & it’s not the first time he hasn’t cum with me.

FUCK that was hot! I tell him later how impressed I was at his improvisation & he is proud that he did that… I know he’s not really that experienced with kink & he’s always worried about looking stupid with me, so I need to give him some reassurance too… That was seriously the best improvisation I’ve ever had…

#IBD4U

Noodle is constantly saying things in the groups about how hot I am, I always say that he’s lying – that’s our banter, when he says stuff about me but then he says to the group “Ummm one dude just called you hot another beautiful, I don’t think I’m lying somehow” I am secretly loving the things he says, that I screenshot his comments… I’m not sure why, maybe because I want to remember that feeling when I initially read it. When he tells everyone that I’m the hottest in the group or when he uses heart eye emojis when I update my profile picture & he tells me in private that he likes my picture but he also tells the groups the same, making it so obvious that he’s into me. I like it & it makes me feel so special. *Screenshot!*

Before all this, I don’t think I mentioned that Sweetie is probably one of the only ones I’ve told that I am actually fucking Noodle, she’s become more a friend than Max & I tell her a bit, but not too much, when one day I see a message pop up on my screen from her “Do you think Noodle would sleep with me?” FUCK! That’s unexpected… I feel my heart beat faster & this weird feeling come over me. Would he fuck her? I don’t want him too… I don’t want to ask him but I also don’t want her to ask him… I have to deal with this… I don’t know what these feelings are, but fucking hell, is it jealously? Why do I care who he fucks? I’m also a little upset with her, she knows how much of a struggle it is to meet men & has seen on all the drama on the chat app of people who share men, that I don’t know why she would ask. I tell her this, but I also decide to have a conversation with Noodle about it too… I’m scared about what he’ll say, will he say that he wants too? Will he want her over me? I mean she has 4 kids so she doesn’t have as much time as me, but I don’t want him to choose me over her because of convenience.

I explain to her that I don’t want a guy to come between us & that I didn’t think that she’d ever pursue a guy that I was seeing. (I guess this is completely nuts to say to someone after I have just fucked her husband for the last 5 months!) But FUCK I am jealous… Ok I admit it… I am jealous… FUCK I am jealous… Damn it. I know that Noodle doesn’t find Sweetie as attractive as he does me, that’s been established by him telling me how much he likes me. I tell him what Sweetie has asked & he says that he wouldn’t fuck her without me. PHEW! I toy with the idea of a 3sum with him & her. But I am not ready to share Noodle yet… I feel like I don’t get enough time with him as it is, despite how this blog seems, it’s seems like I never get to see him… However I mean we talk all the fucking time, so I probably talk to him more & see him more than his partner does! What a relief that he doesn’t want her…

A couple of days later, I am seeing him again, he comes over much earlier at 5:30 am. I mean, for him, he’d have to get up at 4:30 am to be dressed & at mine by 5:30 am, he lives about 20-25 minutes south from me, so he has the drive & also has to get ready for work too, so not to raise suspicion with his partner.

I’m in bed with the door unlocked & he meets me in bed. We don’t have long this morning, he’s only at my house just over an hour, he wakes me up with his cold body, rubbing his hands all over me, kissing the back of neck as I always like him to spoon me when he gets into bed with me, once we fuck, with him doing his signature move with me, my legs on his shoulders, pinning my wrists to the bed, I am unable to move or stop myself from cumming, I briefly wonder later how his partner stops herself from cumming with him, I find it impossible… There is no way I could even stop if I tried… I roll over & take charge again, sitting up on him & riding his cock. I stop to grab a vibe when he grabs my phone & takes picture of me, which of course I hate but he loves… He tells me later “You look amazing on top of me arched back riding me” with a heart eye emoji. He tells me that he likes when I am confident & that he “Aims to make you feel as sexy as you actually are! Confident #IBD4U is fucking hot” Wow… This is unexpected for Noodle to be saying to me, he usually isn’t like this, but recently, I guess he knows that if he wants this to keep going, I need something more than just sex with him. He tells me that “Sex with you is amazing” that “Horny #IBD4U is fucking hot, sex with you is amazing! – Yeah I wanna fuck you again…” JEEZ! We are in so deep here… I love when he says stuff like this to me – more screenshots, do I actually like this guy? Does he like me? Am I just a fuck to him?

This week Noodle has been planning being with me all day Saturday, his partner is at work, he’s pretending to have to work & so he just has to get someone to look after their son so he can come to my house. He works it out that his mum will have the kid so he says he can come over whenever I am free after around 7:30 am. Now remember this is the night after the last time I saw Origin, I didn’t have sex with him but we’d had the weed muffin, I was so tired & I barely woke up to message Noodle to tell him I am awake. I hope that I wake up when he gets here… I don’t like this lethargic feeling. It’s fucked, I want to wake up. Noodle crawls into bed with me & snuggles into my back… This is where I want him to stay, this feels so good when I am this sleepy. He is constantly rubbing his hands up & down my sides, it feels divine, I want to wake up properly & enjoy this but my head doesn’t seem to want to cooperate.

I don’t tell Noodle what I did last night with Origin because I don’t want him to judge me for taking drugs & I also know that he gets jealous of other guys, even though we aren’t exclusive. I try to be awake & just blame it on drinking too much & having a hangover, we fuck & lay there just chatting, me facing him & him stroking my hair.. Have I died & gone to heaven? Fucking hell I adore this… Around lunch time Noodle says that he’s going to get some food, I start to panic, thinking he’s not going to come back – I don’t know why, I mean he can’t really go home now being that his kid is being babysat, but he does come back & brings me back Hungry Jacks (Burger King for those places other than SA) which we eat in bed. I have perked up a little, but this is not what I had planned for this amazing day that we planned. I didn’t expect to want to be comatose the whole day, I also tell him I am dreading going to Sweetie’s birthday tonight too… WAKE UP GEOFF! Fucking hell, this guy is here for the whole day with you & you can’t wake the fuck up for him.

When Noodle suggests a bath, I think yes, that’ll wake me up, we’ve had sex several times but it’s not really kinky or different… I hate this – I want to be kinky with him all the time, I don’t want to give him straight run of the mill sex… I run the bath & we get in, this time I am down then other end & face him with my legs up on his chest. We sit there chatting & relaxing, let me tell you that this is by far my favourite thing to do with Noodle! I love this day, I mean I wish I was awake & I can’t wait till we somehow do it again but this guy just makes me feel so good that I am fucked… Am I catching feelings for this guy? No, shut that fucking down, right now!

Later Noodle tells me that he felt like I didn’t want him there that day (OMG if only he knew how much I loved it…) & also how pissed he was that I told him that I didn’t want to be with Max & Sweetie that night, yet I did play with them… WTF? NO WAY… I wanted him there more than anything, I actually loved it, just relaxing in bed & the bath with him, it’s was a pure bliss day for me, besides the fact I was completely wiped out… I do eventually confess to him that I had a weed muffin the night before & that’s why I was so out of it, that I did want him there, more than I wanted anything. I also meant what I said about not wanting to play with Max & Sweetie, that wasn’t a lie… At this point, I haven’t ever lied to Noodle about our relationship, I have told some white lies but I haven’t told him anything to boost his ego. I do love fucking him & I did want him there. I feel fucking horrible that he felt that way, it definitely was not my intention… FUCK!

Ironically after this day, I never see Origin again, nor do I see Max again. I am down to this one guy, the one thing I was trying to avoid was only fucking one guy… I was happy exploring the kinky side of things with everyone, but now I am down to just Noodle… Do you want to know the fucked thing about that? Is that I only want Noodle… I could find another guys to fuck me, I could probably find a distraction easily, I could even end things with Noodle, but even writing that hurts me… I can’t end it with this guy, I have to see this through… I have to see where this goes.

#IBD4U