April 2025 – Victor Harbor
01 April 2025 – I wake up day one post-surgery & my breath is RANK. I can smell it, I can taste it. I don’t think I am a person that has smelly breath for the most part, despite what Phoenix would say about our first sex meeting where I had garlic breath, but it’s not a stinky mouth as such, especially in the mornings. But this is fucking gross, I am so conscious of it, that I look at my messages, he says he’ll be here after 8:00am, I get up, sort the dogs, open the roller door, unlock the front door, give my mouth a rinse with the medicated mouth wash & get back into bed.
I am not as groggy as I thought I would be, my mouth isn’t that sore, I was expecting my gums to hurt & throb because they did a deep clean while I was asleep, but no real pain at all, just one side of the roof of my mouth has stitches which sort of feels like the roof of my mouth has been burned & there is fishing wire up there. The gum graft itself is against my lower lip so it’s not painful, but I can feel the fishing line type stiches against my inner lip, which is scratching. I realise again that the stiches aren’t dissolvable, I have to have these in for two weeks. Fuck I hope my breath doesn’t smell for that long! I tell him that he needs to be prepared & he says that he wasn’t planning on pashing me all day anyway. I say that he’s not going to be able too & he says “I know hence why I said we shouldn’t be having sex from fhe d. Start!.” I say that we will see about sex & he snaps my name, misspelling it with a Z & says that, “You don’t always need to fuck me.” I tell him that it’s not always about him, but I look like shit also. I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t want to fuck me based on looks & smell… I have no lashes on & no makeup to counteract the lack of lashes, my breath smells, fuck this is not a good look!
He walks in & I am in bed, I am not as tired as I thought I would be but I’ve gotten back into bed, avoiding pain killers because I don’t want to sleep all day – like the infamous Origin night, he walks into my room with a bunch of flowers & a tub of connoisseur cookies & cream ice cream – my favourite! He puts the flowers down on my bed side table, not actually giving them to me, but fuck… He got me flowers – again! He even sort of shakes the ice cream in my direction, not really giving that to me either or showing me, before he goes to put it in my freezer. Fuck he is the cutest! I love that he has probably just gone to the supermarket to get it with some flowers – though even supermarket flowers aren’t cheap & shitty like they used to be, but I don’t care if he picked sour sobs from my front lawn & gave to me, I fucking love it. I don’t care where they are from or how much they are worth; I adore the gesture & love that he thought to buy me flowers & ice cream because I had surgery. I fucking love this man so much.
He climbs into bed with me & we kiss a little, I am more worried about our lips touching hard together & knocking the stitches, or smacking our teeth together, not that we’ve ever done that before but today will probably be the day! I also mention that I won’t be able to suck his dick or put my cummy fingers in my mouth, I think the bacteria from penis & vagina juices might cause a problem & he agrees. But I have been given a course of antibiotics anyway as a preventative measure, which I am not that happy about, I don’t love antibiotics.
He doesn’t want to lie around all day having sex & says that we can’t just lay here all day. I am not feeling too bad & haven’t taken any additional pain relief this morning, I did pop a Nurofen only but was given something harder by the anaesthetist which I don’t think I even took last night. Because I am naked, he is rubbing me all over & I want sex, which he says I can’t have it & that we have to go out for the day because I can’t be moaning & have my mouth open or bite down when I cum, so we have to go out. Okay, okay, we’ll go out but sex first! He gets me going just from running his hands all over me, that I push him back on the pillows & I say ‘just a quick orgasm & then I will happily go out.’ I slide down over his cock, I fuck him till I cum – probably multiple times to be perfectly honest – I don’t notice that I bite down when I cum, so I think he was just using that as an excuse… When we are done, we get up & get ready to go out. I am conscious of something he has said about his wife & her getting ready. That it takes forever, she has to iron the clothes that she is going to wear & then obviously he has to get the kids ready too, so it takes hours to get out the house. It’s a cooler day so I do put on jeans & a cross over top with sneakers. In my haste to be quick, I don’t even put on mascara or makeup. Luckily, I always wear sunnies so I have my bald eyes covered.
The plan is to drive to Victor Harbor & walk around Granite Island then some lunch, ice cream & then head home, so I feel this casual outfit is a good choice. He’s told me no sex on this date, we’ve just fucked, so this is probably the hardest outfit to have random sex in if the urge does come over us while we’re out. I put the present in my handbag & I’ll find the right moment to give it to him… I haven’t been in the car much with Phoenix driving, in fact he drove my work cark once & otherwise it’s always me driving. Also this is the first time I have ever been in his car, having never been allowed in it because it was the family car before she got a new car & my perfume smells… But him driving, his car… This feels very couply. This feels very relationshipy.
The drive down to Victor Harbor is about an hour, we talk the whole time, he touches me, holds my hand the whole way & we listen to music. We talk about so much stuff that I can’t even remember it all… I don’t remember what we said but I know both of us crack the shits at each other about something, no doubt he’s pissed about something in my blog & no doubt he said something douchy that made me angry. But we never stay angry long.
He pulls into a carpark & we walk holding hands, which makes my tummy do a little flip every time our hands connect, there is something about being in public holding hands. He doesn’t get it really, he’s had a partner for pretty much his whole life, so he’s held hands probably a lot. I have held hands with two men in my life that I have cared about. Remember the Plumber who wanted to hold my hand & I said no, even though I had sex with him. So for me holding hands is something so couply, so relationshipy, that I never really wanted to do it with anyone because I wasn’t in a relationship with them. But with Phoenix, it feels so right (When we get it the right way! Hahaha, I prefer my hand under & his over. He doesn’t think it makes a difference, but it feels weird – maybe because of our heights, but I prefer to be under.) to hold his hand & walk along. Like we have been doing it the whole time.
I need to go to the toilet, and so we find a public toilet. I know his thoughts on public toilet sex & even though I genuinely need to go, I don’t want him to think I am trying to persuade him into having sex with me in a public toilet. Given he is vehemently against it now, I don’t want him to think I am trying to change his mind or luring him into the toilet. So I tell him that his cum is leaking out of me, then I rush in & quickly rush out & then stupidly apologising for needing to go. He’s pacing around outside, not close by when I come out. I don’t think that’s anything & maybe he doesn’t even think about it at all, but I am so conscious of the fact he doesn’t want to fuck me in a public toilet anymore.
As we walk around Granite Island, he gives me lots of info about the penguins, I have been here as a kid at night on a school camp but never during the day – we don’t see any penguins anyway. I see a chick taking selfies & all I want to do is take a selfie with him. I don’t & I don’t ask because firstly, I am wearing no make-up & no lashes because of the surgery & secondly, I don’t think that he will want to take one, scared that I would post on social media or something, maybe use it as blackmail…. Maybe I watch too much true crime, but I am also picturing it on a true crime show when I am murdered… I don’t know but if I was in his situation I would be reluctant to take photos with my mistress, but fuck me, I want pics of us… I wish we had some from when we first met to see how different we look together now eight years later. But anyway, I don’t think this is a right time to take pics.
We get up to a lookout & he walks me closer to the edge of a cliff face, standing behind me, all manly, then because no one is around he rubs his hands over my tits. But I have intrusive thoughts – which he thinks (& are) ridiculous, but that’s why they’re called intrusive thoughts, right?! I don’t even mean too, but I say something to him about him pushing me off the cliff – it’s not even that much of a cliff but it would hurt if I fell. He seems to get semi offended, but it’s just an insight into how weird my brain is or how much true crime I watch, not that I actually think that he is going to push me off a cliff! But it is something I thought about while having this amazing private, couple moment, I am thinking of him killing me! Bahahaha – yeah I’m a weirdo!
We keep walking the whole way around the island, stopping along the way to look at the view & kiss or hug, at one point he gets so fucking angry about my blog of course & something in there, that he is holding my hand but he is speaking to me in a way that the people that just walked past us would think I am in an abusive relationship, I have to turn to him & calm him down but he keeps trying to walk off, snapping at me. After he calms down, we have a laugh about it. I can only laugh now when brings up the blog because I can’t feel shit about it anymore.
It’s almost 11:00am so we start looking for somewhere for lunch. It’s not really soup weather, but I tell him that I definitely need something soft to eat. We walk around looking at all the menus at the various restaurants and pubs, I don’t notice it right away, we go to a few places before I pick up on it that he is actually really concerned about what I can eat & what I will eat looking at every menu for soup. I genuinely just thought he wasn’t that keen on the places, so we kept looking, but he wasn’t looking for him, he was looking for me! Knowing I am a fairly bland eater – he calls me a girl eater or something, girl tastes, whatever, but I realise that he is really looking at all the menus for soups. We look at every restaurant & I just say I’ll have a smoothie from the second place we walked past, but he doesn’t seem happy about that – later he tells me that he didn’t want me to just have a smoothie for lunch. We settle at a pub that has a few things, I want some chips but also mashed potato. When I order the fritter things that I think will be soft, I don’t order mashed potato, having forgotten I even said I wanted it. But Phoenix steps up to order his lunch as orders a side of mashed potato & I swear that if I wasn’t already in love with this man, I definitely am now! Fuck he is so cute & thoughtful. I haven’t had a partner for so long, I didn’t remember that I should have a man like this – I didn’t know he could be like this, he is not a big tough guy, he’s a fucking softie… Fuck he must love me – or just wants to get into my pants… Nah, he can do that without being an adorable guy! He fucking loves me & cares about me.
He asks how my mouth is while I am eating & making sure that I am ok. He eats super-fast, like it’s so scary how fast he eats compared to me. I mean I am eating extra slow because with every bite I get something stuck in the stiches on the roof of my mouth, so I am unusually slow, but he is so fast. He offers me a bite of his & he finishes off whatever I don’t eat on my plate. He mentions a few times about how that meal was perfect for me & my mouth & he seems genuinely concerned but happy that we found something that I could eat & fill me up, which is when I realise that he was searching for soup for me.
So I have told him I have the present for him. I have it in my bag this whole time, walking all around granite island with it, thinking I should have given them to him if we sat down but we didn’t. I think at lunch it’ll be a good time but I lose my nerve & don’t give them to him – I wish I gave them to him, I reach into my bag twice to pull out the box I put them in, considering I have just realised about walking into 10 different restaurants looking for soup…. Our lunch is so delicious, our conversation is so easy, fuck knows what we talk about now but God, the conversations can be so random but so free flowing, sometimes completely vapid & sometimes deeper. I feel like I can say anything to him & not care what he thinks – I mean I care but I mean I know he’s not going to judge me, he may make fun & we have some banter but he won’t think I’m an actual idiot.
After lunch we walk around a little more & to an ice cream shop, where we get an ice cream each. Since he paid for lunch, I paid for the ice creams & to my surprise, he sits at the table out the front in the sun to eat them. He offers me a taste of his boysenberry, which is nice & I give him a taste of mine too, loving the sharing of food experience that I haven’t had ever really. I mean being single & only being on a few dates with guys, you don’t often share your food with a first or second date. This is the first real date. I mean when he’s met me for lunch at work, he’s eaten my leftovers, but this is just us, not rushing to go back to work. Just us hanging out. I fucking love it.
#IBD4U
I've Been Dating For You 