Phoenix #63

August 2025 – Birthday Picnic

09 August 2025 – I have no idea what time he is planning to come today, he’s said that he wrote that he starts at 6:00am, but then says he’ll write 7:00am. So I have no clue what time he is planning, because I did go out with my family, I had a few wines, nothing major but I don’t drink a lot anymore because I wake up with revolting cotton mouth, so bad that I can barely close my mouth, like there is no saliva left in my body or something. So I get up, use some dry mouth mouthwash, go to the toilet, let the dogs out for the toilet & go back to sleep for a little bit, but I have basically been awake since around 4:00am waiting for a message from him.

I never get a message from him this morning as predicted, he just rocks up just after 7:00am, using his key to come in. I am still in bed because of course I have no idea of his plans, he walks in & I hear him go into the kitchen, doing something that I can’t make out as I have the kitchen door shut. He comes into my room, he gets into bed with me & says happy birthday as we snuggle. We kiss & cuddle, before we have sex within a few minutes of him being there, he goes down on me which he won’t believe me, so I don’t tell him but this is the best head of my life – I’m sure my blog has helped him because he still is obsessed with Crows being the best – Phoenix never understands that our connection & love, makes things so much better than anything I have ever had. He had admitted that he hadn’t done it much & has never done it to his wife so he was good at it, but after reading Crows, he is much better & tries a lot harder. But it’s 100% the best head of my life today. Paired with the fact we always have amazing sex, the most connected I have ever been with someone – no one compares in my eyes, no matter what I ever said in my blog.

After we have sex, I get up to feed the dogs, I notice flowers on the entry bench at the door but I try not to look at them, ignoring them to feed the dogs. He walks in & says ‘I got you flowers’, dumping them on the table, not actually giving them to me, then walks off. I finish feeding the dogs & pick them up, they are stunning coloured roses that I start to put in water, noticing that they were $50 – I don’t say anything but he comes back & notices the price tag & quickly rips it off, he comes back in with a packet of my favourite Oreos which have been deleted – the double stuffed Cinnamon bun, & he dumps them on the bench, not giving them too me either, but we kiss because I initiate it & I say thank you for the thoughtful gifts. He’s also done a click & collect this morning to pick up picnic food – I did wonder how he was going to organise the picnic, I guess that’s how!

While I love the flowers & the oreos – which are definitely enough for a gift, as I wasn’t even sure if he would get me anything at all, so I am a very happy girl, I am slightly disappointed that it’s nothing I can keep. I don’t expect jewellery for every gift, though I wouldn’t complain hahaha, the flowers will die & I’ll eat the oreos then have nothing to show for my first birthday with him as my bona fide boyfriend… Even a card would have been enough to make the gift sentimental… We’ll eat all the picnic stuff & then there will be nothing to show for my birthday. But I can’t tell you how fucking happy I am he’s even organised anything at all, this is so special to me…

We go back to bed & lay down, the dogs are loose so they jump up on the bed as we are lying there, my boy literally is pushing himself between Phoenix & I with his full body length pushing us apart. I laugh at how hilarious my boy dog is, he has literally imprinted on me so much that he gets so jealous – he’s not had a dude to fight for my attention before, so it’s hilarious how he squeezed between Phoenix & I. My girl decides to cuddle up to Phoenix – she loves men & if I had a live in partner, she would 100% turn into his dog… Though I know Phoenix doesn’t feel the same about her, he’s made it clear he doesn’t like my dogs. I take a photo of his legs with the dogs snuggled up next to him… We just lay there chatting & deciding what to do, it isn’t even 8:00am yet. He brings up my blog, which he is reading/listening too with google translate or whatever, so he brings it up again when we get into a semi sort of argument, which lasts pretty much the whole time we’re together & taints the whole day.

If you remember back to Silverlining #17 he tells me that his wife, the technology noob, hacked Facebook with a ‘trick’ to see all my pictures – here is a little bit from that post that’s important to today’s argument:

“When he told me that his partner doesn’t know how to use the chat app groups, yet he’s told me that she hacked Facebook to be able to look at all my private photos with a “trick” I call bullshit. He says that’s she’s really dumb so can’t work out the groups but that she didn’t hack Facebook but worked out some stupid trick – he says she can look via my friends – which she can’t as my friends list is private. (If anyone knows this trick, please email me!) He says she probably spent a day on it, that she looked at my page every day, saw my broken heart post & became obsessed with me. “I can assure you that my marriage will not last forever” Because they’re both lying to each other! FUCKING HELL… I keep denying it because it’s fucking bullshit but he says that she showed him how she did it, but conveniently he can’t remember what she did. I find her on Facebook immediately & block her & then him. Fuck that was hard looking them up! I can’t even look them up yet she’s stalking my page daily with some trick to see all my photos… Now I know that this isn’t true & I’ll tell you why – I posted once, only once on my Facebook wall when I created this blog, to get my friends to like the page & read too. IF she had this special trick, she would know about this blog, I know she wouldn’t keep it a secret from him, she probably wouldn’t be with him still knowing the whole story & he definitely would know about it too & wouldn’t be talking to me now because he’d probably hate my guts for writing about us & ruining his relationship! So I call bullshit!”

So today he is discussing his wife’s Facebook trick & the beauty chick in my street. Phoenix has told me before that his wife was going to this woman in my street for discounted beauty treatments – he always says lashes but then says beauty stuff so I never know what she actually had done. I didn’t know at the time though – when I was fucking distraught & devastated, that Phoenix was fucking driving her to these appointments because she would have a panic attack coming to my street – what fucking bollocks! I’ve talked about this before in my blog when we texted about it but upon reflection during this conversation, I have more to add… I can assure you, no discounted beauty treatment is worth having a real panic attack…. She played him, this actress doesn’t fool me, I’ve had panic attacks, I have medication for panic attacks, they are debilitating. Apparently, she does too, so it’s fucking bullshit she had a real panic attack coming to my street for a cheap beauty treatment. She faked a ‘panic attack’ to make him drive her here, in hopes they would see me, even if it was for a split-second driving past each other, so that she could rub it in my face that they are still together & I was just a play thing as she told me I was. She’s a fucking master! I take my hat off to her…

He’s told me recently that she would post pictures of them together in the hopes that I would see them on Facebook & that she only married him to get back at me, so this confirms that it was 100% just another game she played at an attempt to get back at me, & he was a fucking compliant player… He’s a fuckwit if he really believes that she did that for any other reason but to hopefully see me & piss me off. But the hardest part of having a conversation about her & what makes me the most melancholy, especially on my birthday weekend, is listening to him defending her when I say it’s bullshit that she had a genuine panic attack. He kept saying that he saw how much it affected her, watching her almost vomiting in the car… It hurts hearing him defend her, when I know for a fact he didn’t defend me to her, allowing her to look me up daily & just said ‘I cheated, what can I do?’ but also he never defended me with Cowboys Mistress either, letting her make a fool out of me publicly. I retreat & don’t want to talk, if he really believes she had a panic attack & was genuine, it really hurts me… It’s shows me – & rubs in my face, that he loves her – in whatever way that may be, but he does loves her.

So another angle on this, I have a lash client let’s call her Misty, who has recently started reading my blog, she started at the start & now follows along, then we debrief at her appointments. We have similar personalities & have both been single most of our adult lives. So she read about the beauty treatment bullshit last time I wrote about it & she was like ‘yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that!’ When Misty asks if his wife was getting her lashes done, I say that I am not entirely sure what beauty she had done, but Misty makes a fucking good point that I didn’t think of, she says that she wouldn’t want to bring her partner anywhere near his ex-mistresses house, especially while she is inside on a table with her eyes taped shut for an hour or more…!! Misty said she’d be worried about him walking up to my house, putting something in my letter box or even coming over here to fuck me again… Even if he didn’t stay parked in the street & he went to the shops or something, Misty said she’d be worried that he was actually seeing me, being that it’s so close to my house… FUCK I never ever thought of that point of view… I have said that if he was my partner who had a mistress behind my back, I would never want to bring her up because I wouldn’t want to remind him what he is missing – especially after finding out he was in love with her. So this is the same & surprises me I didn’t think of it, but I wouldn’t want to bring him to the street & remind him of the mistress that he loved… But we all know that she apparently brings me up – to this very day & recently in front of the kids… She punishes him & he takes it & says ‘well I did cheat’ like that’s a reason to be treated that way. Either get over it or break up, don’t keep rubbing it in his face!

So anyway this beauty woman who lives a few doors down supposedly knew all this stuff about my sex life, Phoenix still, as he did back then denied knowing how, originally blaming Sweetie for it. Phoenix now reveals that his wife doesn’t know my beauty business name & only found one photo of me back when she was hacking Mark Zuckerberg daily. One. WHAT the ACTUAL FUCK. Phoenix was very clear & adamant via text & every time we talked about it back then, that his wife was looking at ALL my photos & that he saw them also, that she saw posts on my private page about Papa Roach, now all of a sudden – maybe because he’s read it in my blog & realises how fucking stupid he sounds telling me she hacked Facebook but can’t find a group on the chat app when there is a button that says ‘group’, that he admits that it’s just one picture that she found. So not a trick at all, it actually was a work picture on a work Facebook page that was already over four years old when she would have found it.

He had also said she became obsessed with me & she knew about my beauty business because she text him when she found out ‘your girlfriend has a beauty business’, yet she doesn’t know what I called my business? Are you serious mate?! What a crock of shit!! You are cooked!!! You all know I am not much of a stalker, but I have stalked & know women who do the deep dive. If this woman was so obsessed, hacking Facebook – but not actually hacking Facebook, just finding a page my photo happened to be on & looking at it daily, as if it might change then she would sure as shit know what my business is called! & I am still convinced she was involved – if it was her or a friend, in a fake booking, wasting heaps of my time when I first opened…

This story never added up when he told me many years ago & sure as shit doesn’t add up now! I just don’t believe it. What woman with a cheating husband, who apparently told everyone he cheated & about me, goes to a friend’s beauty business in the same street, they talk about my sex life but doesn’t ask the friend how they know about my sex life? The first question from anyone would be ‘how do you know that?’ but apparently Phoenix’s wife never asks that even though she’s voracious for information about me? It just doesn’t add up, I’m sorry but I just don’t believe it, she was calling his bluff by talking about my sex life, trying to get a reaction from him or she had someone catfish me (or she did it) on a dating app to get information from me. Maybe Crows wasn’t as loyal to me with her as I thought he was?! Because if the beauty woman knew about the blog – which is Phoenix’s theory, she would have told Phoenix’s wife about it, especially if it’s about her husband! Even now writing this I am getting so worked up at how bullshit this is…

So this was happening six years ago she was able to look at all my pictures & see my broken heart post, now he tells me it was actually just one photo & this beauty women told her she knew all about my sex life but didn’t tell her the source of how she knew about it? Remember at this time, in 2019, I had only about ten blog posts which were all posted in 2016 & I didn’t start posting on a regular basis until well after the end of affair one & if you look at those earlier posts, they aren’t as graphic as the later ones. Plus the Noodle story didn’t start getting posted till almost when we were in the Silverlining era!

Phoenix cracks the shits at me because I don’t believe him, it’s not that I don’t believe what he thinks or what he was told to be true, it’s that I don’t believe the bullshit she’s told him. He bought a house, had kids & married her I guess & he says he loves her so he believes what she says, she is the mother of his children, after all. I’m just the skanky mistress. But I don’t believe a word of it. She was probing him or baiting him by saying that someone knew a lot about my sex life & wanting a reaction, I don’t think she knows anything at all… Phoenix rolls over & won’t give me anything, saying that I don’t believe him, I explain I don’t believe the story but he is being stubborn & won’t turn back over to talk to me. I remind him it’s my birthday & I spend a good ten minutes working hard to get him to relax about something he brought up – lets not forget that, we’ve had a text fight about this recently too. When I finally get him to turn back over, I am so fucking pissed off this is how my birthday is going so I straddle him & start gyrating my hips over his dick which is in his boxers. I dry hump him for ages & kiss him, just sliding my cunt up & down his dick, I take his dick out his boxers as it gets harder. But his face is stone cold. He is not going to let up on this. I am in my oodie just sliding my wet cunt up & down along his now naked cock, I can’t keep looking at his face, it’s so angry, that I lean down, putting my face in his shoulder nook but keep going until I alert him that I am going to cum, that’s when his hands get a little handsy on my ass & waist, I cum against his cock & roll off him. Honestly, this is the worst sexual experience I’ve ever had with Phoenix, because it was the first time ever that it was cold, distant, disconnected, completely out of sync & it’s mirrored the way I’ve felt for the last two months when we’re not together, invisible, unimportant & more like an obligation than someone he truly missed & wants to be with…

#IBD4U