Friend of a Friend

There’s that one guy in your extended group of friends who is single. He’s been single as long as since I’ve known him – a few girlfriends along the way but nothing lasting (however not as eternally single as me!). I never thought he was that attractive at all, but he lost a lot of weight & I personally think it made him worse. He was always an arrogant ass & I think now that he’s skinnier, he is much worse, thinking he’s god’s gift to women. However, his skinner face made his hair line recede & he looks a lot older than he really was. Well to me anyway… I guess I was lucky when I lost weight, I somehow got better looking, my whole face changed. (That’s probably the first positive comment I’ve made about my looks! GO ME! Hahaha.)

I always got the feeling, every time we were at an event together, that he was always thinking that I was interested in him & so he never talked to me. I didn’t ever fancy him I always thought he was too arrogant for me (which is funny since I’m with Noodle right now – however this guy was way before Noodle…) but many, many years ago, one night after I’d lost a lot of weight too, I was at my skinniest ever (at that time) we all went out, both of us staying at our mutual friend’s house. We went out drinking, I don’t remember the night well, but we were all drinking shooters – which are never good for me & so much alcohol. I am never good with shots… Why did I do shots?Friend of a friend shots drunk passed outWe get back to our friends house; they go to bed. I go into the room I’m sleeping in & settle in to sleep when the door opens, it’s him. I don’t remember if he ever said anything to me or how we started kissing but we fooled around in bed, he tries put his dick in me & I realise that there was no condom, I push him off & say he needs one, he gets up, leaves & never comes back. I’m assuming sleeping on the couch as planned… Jesus men can be complete assholes!

The next morning my friend comes into my room to see if I’m awake & is sitting on my bed talking about the night when she spies his shirt on the floor, she asks why it is there & I just say because he took it off in here… What else can I say, it’s true… Hahaha. OMG how embarrassing. She asks what happened between us & I say nothing, because nothing really did happen, I mean we kissed & that was about it…

Later I find out from my friend that he didn’t just leave me there in the room alone, he went in search of a condom.  He did text our friends to ask if they had any, which they didn’t so he just decided to sleep on the couch as planned. Rightio, I’m sure there were other things we could’ve done, but his loss!

Every time I see him since that night it’s even more awkward than before, he makes it awkward. I try to just chat & be nice to him. We do have mutual friends that we see a lot. We then are supposed to go on a group trip to the Falls Creek in the snow. I am not looking forward to spending a week with him there… There will be 2 single guys there & me, who I have to share a room with both of them. I am relieved then this one doesn’t have the money to go but then that means that I have to share a room with another single guy.

More recently I haven’t seen him much when I see my friend, which is good – even though he’s now living with them. We seem to do things without the guys a lot more – it was always a bit weird anyway, all the couples then me & him. I don’t want to be awkward around him or have him think that we should hook up again – that is never going to happen.. I also have been working hard to keep the weight off & I know he put some of it back on but I haven’t really seen him for ages. But I think people in our group think that because we have both been single the whole time we’ve known each other then we should be together. If only it were that easy!

#IBD4U

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Noodle #14

So Noodle is on holidays & says that he’s in my area that he can come over & see me for a few hours. I’m suspicious of why he is in my area, knowing that he can’t get out much without raising suspicion with her. When he gets to my house, we have sex immediately on my kitchen table, unable to make it any further before we are naked. But afterwards, I am able to ask him why he’s in my area – not normally something I would do because I don’t want to know the answer… He says that he met his partner for lunch to smooth things over about going to the gym & that he also joined. Well at least he joined & stood up to her, but I can’t believe that he had to go visit her for lunch to smooth it over. Obviously they had a fight about it & he had to go make it up to her… I asked him what he said to her & he just said that he asked her why she didn’t want him to better himself. She said that she was afraid he’d leave her for someone at the gym.

This is showing me a different side to Noodle that I never knew existed. He really is a different man than I thought… I am still into him a lot but this is not the type of thing I expected to be an issue for him – I expected him to be douchy about it & put his foot down with her, not be this guy who bows down to her threats! I can’t dwell on it too much, I don’t know what their relationship is like, clearly she wears the pants, I mean she did get pregnant with their first kid without him knowing, so I guess I don’t really know this guy at all… Maybe that’s why he’s such a douche online because he’s so suppressed at home?

One morning, I am horny (as per everyday) & I send him a little fantasy I used this morning to make myself cum, it was about him tying me up & teasing me… He says “How do you do this to me. Fuckkkk. So horny now” I laugh & say that I didn’t mean too. “Bullshit. This is why your sexy af…” I just keep playing my innocent card saying that it’s just harmless chats with my sex friend. “Harmless pfft… This is why I can’t stop fucking you… Making me dying to fuck you” I just laugh at him. He calls me a sexual goddess & we talk about how I’m sad that I don’t have any firsts really left for whoever I end up with, but Noodle says “He’ll be a very lucky guy.” He tells me that “You’re better in person than in my dreams. You’re a fucking fantasy. Like a walking living fantasy” *Screenshot!*Noodle Cheating screenshots.pngWe have also been during this time sending & receiving a fair few videos of us playing alone, being that we basically sext every night cumming in our own houses with each other virtually before we go to bed. His videos always are him jerking off & cumming all over their red carpet. I always think about that the most when I see him cum, does he wipe down the carpet afterwards? As soon as I start talking dirty with him, he’s there. Not like Rob Rob, who hangs up when he’s done or disappears saying his phone went flat, conveniently right after he’s cum. (I’m not talking to Rob Rob anymore, but that’s what he used to do.) Noodle is actually invested in me when I talk, he wants to be with me when I talk dirty & show him a video of what I’m doing. While we do virtual stuff because of the circumstances, he always says that he wishes I was there with him, sucking his cock or fucking him. I wish that too…

I still play the sweet innocent card with Noodle all the time. He says “So nice, sweet and innocent girls send me a video of a vibe in their pussy & a butt plug in her ass?” Hahaha… yes I did that! It was super-hot… I tell him he’s corrupted me so he says “I can deal with a corrupt single woman… cos she’s turned out to be this amazing sexy kinky fucking sexual goddess of a woman” HOLY FUCK!

The next afternoon, Noodle couldn’t keep away because I got him so horny this morning. I decide to try something that I’ve not ever done before. I get naked with a vibe & I wait for him to arrive. He walks in now, because he knows the door will be unlocked for him – he doesn’t even knock. I am naked on the pool table with a vibe between my legs… Our eyes meet & I can’t look away. He walks slowly towards me saying “What are you doing?” as I sit there teasing myself in front of him. He stands a few feet away from me but I ache for him to touch me, he stands there looking like he wants to touch me too. I tell him that I want him to touch me; he hesitates because he knows that if he does we’ll probably end up fucking. But we’ve sort of talked this scenario though, I want him to watch me & not touch. He kisses me & touches me a little; I of course kiss him back. But then I push him away & tell him to sit on the couch & watch. He’s naked before he takes the 3 steps to the couch & he sits down, stroking his cock as he watches me pleasure myself in front of him.

He gets out his phone & I know he’s videoing this, telling me to cum for him. I do, of course, I mean I can’t hold it in, even if I tried. He ends up not being able to take it anymore, so he comes over to fuck me on the pool table. Fuck it’s hot & quick & I now love the feeling of him cumming inside me. I reckon that is the hottest thing I have ever done for a guy! Later he tells me “Well once again you give me mind blowing sex” I ask him what his favourite part is “Watching you use a vibe while on the pool table… That was mind blowing hot… that’s like straight out of a fantasy or porno… Fuck you can be insanely fucking sexy” Well then! Hahaha. “That’s the hottest thing I’ve seen in my life” I tell him that I’m glad I can give him what he doesn’t get from his partner & he reminds me that “Don’t think you realise we only have boring sex, haven’t done anything exciting in ages” I kind of feel sorry for her & a few months ago, I would’ve tried to get him to talk to her about it – I mean I did try to get him to talk to her about their sex life, but I’m in too deep now to want her to change. I tell him that I’m nothing special that he should try to have some exciting sex with her but he says “You are special you twat… You’re like the most amazing chick I have ever fucked” I say that he’d probably get bored with me after 11 years but he says that he’d never get bored with me.

Look after all the married guys I’ve talked too & now this affair; my biggest fear is being cheated on because of the sex, or lack thereof. So I’m pretty sure no guy is ever going to cheat on me because I am now more open to the element of an open relationship of some sort. Definitely not like Max & Sweetie who have girlfriends & boyfriends but some sort of open mindedness about wanting someone else. Don’t judge me on that, but I’m not 100% sure what the rules would be but there would be something open about my next relationship. I know I get jealous, so I wouldn’t do it right away, but eventually I am open to it.

One day Noodle & I are still talking about how hot our sex is & I just say that I can’t help it, I like sex. He says “There’s liking sex… & then theres you…” I have to laugh at that… Yeah that’s true, I do like sex a lot! Noodle is the closest I’ve found to matching my sex drive.

Noodle suggests lunch while he’s on holidays still, I think that this is first since our first actual meeting date that he’s offered to see me with the potential to not having sex. I tell him that I think that this is the most functional FWB that I’ve ever had but he says “Hahaha. Really? You don’t get anything friendship wise from me except to chat a lot…” Yeah dude, that’s friendship – I get a lot more than he realises from him. I talk to him more than I’ve ever talked to anyone else in my whole life. I say there’s no blurred lines, no bullshit. He says “Yeah we don’t bullshit each other. Even tho sometimes I’m a dick & think you are… Which is my own fault because that comes from my terrible self-confidence” Whenever I tell him that I like his cock or something like that, he reckons I’m lying to him or whenever I tell him that I am not fucking anyone else but then flirt with someone in the group, he thinks I am lying to him. I’m not, I’m telling the truth! If only he could read this! But even then I doubt he’d believe it… He’d seriously be reading this thinking I wrote it to boost his ego… Well I’m not, I don’t do that about any guys in this blog! Why start now?

#IBD4U

Guest Blog: Erotica – Alarms

So with my fiction erotica scenes posted, I have found out that some of you also like to write erotica fantasies.

I am so thankful that you share them with me & allow me to post them…

This was written by a friend who is a male, thank you for allowing me to share…

Enjoy!

Alarms

You walk swiftly past me and your fragrance captures my nose. I grab at your wrist, but you pull away playfully.

“You’re not getting away that easy!” I mutter.

A cheeky grin forms on your face as you turn to face me. Your hair flings over your shoulder as you lower your head. Your eyes look up at me with a “come get me bitch” gaze. Taking a step forward, my hands grasps your chin firmly, forcing you backwards against the wall. Nose to nose, I feel your breath on my face. Rapid and warm. Turning your face to the side, I expose your neck. Gently pressing my lips against your skin, causing the smallest of moans to escape your throat. Your hands slide up my stomach and come to rest on my chest. You press your left leg against mine, and slowly raise your thigh up the inside of mine. My free hand jolts downwards, stopping your leg before it reaches the top. I let go of your chin and slide my hand across your cheek, and reach for your ponytail. Grasping it firmly, I pull it down and out. Spinning your body, you moan louder as your hands slap the wall to cease your turn. I press my body hard against yours. Your knees bend, your legs feel weak. You can tell I want you. I can tell you’re mine.

As I let go of your ponytail, I run my hand down over your shoulder. With my body still holding you firmly against the wall, my hand slides down to grab yours. I take your other hand in mine also. In one smooth, swift motion, your arms find themselves above your head, left over right against the wall. My right hand lets go and softly runs down your right arm. The feel of you under my fingers is mesmerising. Your body shivers as my fingers gently caress your sides, down toward your waist. My hand firmly grabs the side of your pelvis, pulling your hips backwards into me. Keeping a firm grasp on your hip, my left hand replicates the right’s actions…

A small kiss to your right earlobe as my fingers make their way underneath your hoodie, to your warm soft skin. I slide my palms up your naked back to your shoulders. Excited to discover the lack of bra strapping. Continuing my hands up your arms, I remove your jumper over your head. You gasp for air as I lean into you, pressing your bare chest against the cold wall.

Erotica Alarms eyes sex
I run my hands back down your torso, stopping at your hips. Sliding both my pinky fingers inside your tracksuit pants, my hands follow your pelvis around to your front, palms spread wide on your abdomen. They slide down into the crease at the top of your thighs. I pull you back into me. My fingers trace down the fold to your soft skin. Touching the outside I press my fingers together and apply a light pressure. Your button is compressed by your outer skin, sending pulses through your body. Circular motions from my hands seem to soften your muscles. Your pelvis thrusts with my hands. I can feel the warmth radiate from you. Using my feet to widen yours, my fingers push too far and your wetness transfers to them. Gently massaging your outers, your breathing becomes heavier. I slide my hands further in around your legs, and pull up with a firm presence. Thumbs pressing directly on your button now, my index fingers open your lips. The warmth is now overwhelming. I slide the tips of my middle fingers into you, pulling you open further. You moan deeper as I tip your pelvis backwards, and press myself into you.

“Take me” you moan!

“Beep beep beep beep” sounds your alarm.

“SMASH!” goes the alarm through the window!

#IBD4U

Noodle #13

One thing I hate is someone saying “You’re attractive” I don’t know why I hate that word so much, I guess it’s something you say to someone when they’re not beautiful or they don’t know what else to say to them about their looks. I used to get called attractive when I was fat so now that I am not & my face has changed a lot, I get called gorgeous or beautiful, things I don’t associate with me at all… (I know the self esteem issues of being a fat single girl for 12 years will always prevail! I’m working on it.)

So when Noodle calls me attractive, my heart sinks & I think that he isn’t into me at all – slight overreaction, I know but this is where my head goes. So when I explain why I hate attractive, he says to me “You are gorgeous & beautiful too – attractive just means attractive to me.” Well fuck he knows the right thing to say sometimes. I, of course, still find it hard to believe him so he reassures me further “You don’t believe my hands when they touch your body?” I do believe his hands but I think that’s just because I’m a different person to his partner, who he’s been with for 10 years & she’s also bigger than me (Apparently from what he says) – that doesn’t mean that I should think I am sexy. “Even if you are different… My hands still find you sexy & hot… & gorgeous & beautiful. & sometimes I might find you cute” FUCK…

Noodle knows I am not fucking anyone else anymore & haven’t for almost a month, I feel like he’s let his guard down a little bit more with me, not being as douchy & really boosting my ego a lot more. This is weird for me, this is usually when the guy pulls away from me. This seems to be drawing Noodle closer.

Noodle Beautiful cute sex gorgeous.png

The next week, I have a week off work; he is now finished at his store & starting 5 weeks of holidays himself. I am worried things will be different for us, that we won’t get to see each other. But with him able to fake his location on his phone, it makes it easier; however he doesn’t do a lot outside of working, like play a sport or have a lot of friends to use as an alibi. I wouldn’t have a problem coming up with an alibi & I often think up things that he could do or say but he doesn’t seem to want to draw attention to the fact he’s having an ongoing affair.

On the weekend we are chatting, as usual, the whole time she’s at work or asleep, which let me tell you, is a lot. They don’t spend a lot of time together, nor do they spend a lot of time as a family, as I would if I had a family, like going out to parks or whatever but they never see to do anything like that. When he says something about his food, it’s not unusual, we talk a lot about food as always, but then he says something about his partner not being able to eat a lot of things right now. I think what the fuck does that mean? When it hits me… She’s fucking pregnant. He dances around the subject until I force him to admit it to me how far along is she, she’s just over a month along… So I get why he hasn’t told me. Shit… He tells me that he’s happy but they’d had quite a few miscarriages so he was at a point of not wanting to keep trying to get pregnant. I also get the feeling that he isn’t entirely happy about the pregnancy, now that he has me… Maybe that’s wishful thinking… Obviously this guy is having an affair, he seems to think that it’s purely because of their sex life, but that is absolute fucking bullshit. It’s never just about sex if they are chatting to the same woman or seeing the same woman. If it was about sex, he’d pick up any woman & fuck her, then discard her… It’s easier to cover your tracks then… A guy wouldn’t build a connection with someone, they wouldn’t tell their mistress any personal details or talk to them for hours on end if it was just about sex. For me there would be no last names, no job titles – I would even be weird about them seeing what type of car I drove! I know all of this about him.

I don’t know how I feel about her being pregnant. I guess, I am not entirely happy because it ties him to her even more – a second child… There is no hope for anything with him now… JESUS, where did that come from?! I need to stop thinking that shit right now, there was never any hope with this guy. It’s the wake up call I need. However, I don’t start seeing other people. I still stay right where I am, just fucking Noodle.

On the Tuesday morning, we have some more time together, he comes over later in the morning – not at the crack of dawn like usual, & stays till almost lunch time. We’re in bed teasing each other, we’ve been getting better at actually doing longer foreplay than just wanting his cock deep inside me within seconds of being naked. We’re kissing in bed, he’s on top of me, we’re about to fuck, I’m begging him to be inside me, he’s resisting because he hasn’t put a condom on yet. I say “Just fuck me” (meaning put on the condom & fuck me) but as he slides his cock inside me, without a condom, I don’t stop him… I want this… I haven’t fucked a guy without a condom for quite a while, I almost forgot how different it feels. It feels so divine, I never thought it could or would feel like this… I almost wish I’d been fucking him without a condom the whole time, this feels right. He tells me how good it feels for him too & we look at each other with this look of knowing there is no going back now – but also a look of should we be doing this? This changes everything. This changes the dynamic of what we have together, I know it seems like a small thing, but it’s significant. It’s only been 3 months since we started fucking, so this is fast, considering he’s got a partner who he definitely isn’t using condoms with. FUCK. Later he tells me “That was so hot this morning, Gonna have to try & NOT think about it all day” Yeah, I’m not sure how I’m going to get through the day without thinking about it either.

We don’t really talk about not using condoms anymore, but after that, we never use one again & it’s so much better… I forgot that there’s no interruption to get it out the draw & open it, put it on… Makes sex flow even better… Though I will miss when he’s kneeling above me, leaning over to get it out of the draw & him trying to open the packet, so I surprise him with a quick suck of his dick… I won’t do it AC (After condom hahaha) because it takes like plastic. Noodle has only gone down on me once after he’s fucked me & he said it tasted rank… Thanks Noodle! Hahaha. He just meant the plastic taste.

The next day driving to Murray Bridge for work, I see a message from Noodle saying “My wife says she’ll leave me if I join the gym” I literally look at the message for the longest time & don’t even know what to reply. Noodle & I have been talking about the gym a lot, I go a fair bit having found a little independent gym that I actually like & he’s been saying that he’s needing to go to the gym too. My first thought though to her wanting to leave him & his message to me is “Are you kidding me, that he’d let an ultimatum stop him from joining a gym?” but also I briefly think “What if she does leave him? Would we be together?” I don’t know what to say I am surprised at how weak he is really. I ask him if he’s going to let that stop him & he says “I don’t know, I didn’t think she’d threaten that.” I mean she’s been threatening to leave him for ages, he’s told me numerous times that she threatens to leave when things get tough or when she asks him if he’s cheating, saying that she’ll move to Tasmania, where her parents are going, taking their Son with her & he’ll never see him again. He tells me that he asks her why she doesn’t want him to go to the gym & she says “Cos I said so” WOW… Mature… Why would someone threaten someone else to make them stay with them? Also who are these women & why do they have a partner & I’m still single?

#IBD4U

Fake Number

Years ago, Like I’m talking about 8 years ago now – long before I started dating multiple men, I went out with a friend & was chatting to a semi nice looking guy when my friend I was over with started chatting to him about geeky things & ended up kinda phasing me out of the conversation. Whatever, she can have him… I had just lost a lot of weight so was feeling good about myself but still also had some self esteem issues. One of my reasons for losing weight was so boys would like me. (Yeah fucked up I know) I figured if I lost weight & looked better, then I’d get a boyfriend… I wish I could go back to 30 year old me & tell her that it doesn’t matter what you look like, if a man doesn’t want you, he doesn’t want you… DO THIS FOR YOU! Good advice now, but still working on it believing it.

Nearby was another guy, the perfect thing I needed that night after that swift move from my friend. A guy who was interested in me, he bought me all my drinks, every time I was at the bar, he was next to me with a $50 before I could pass over my $20 note (This was long before paywave!), he was completely adamant that women shouldn’t buy their own drinks. I’ve always been uncomfortable with men buying me drinks – not only could they spike it, but also because I don’t think I am that hot, people shouldn’t buy me drinks… But this night, I just let it happen. I did offer money, because that’s what I do, however he didn’t take it.

We kissed for a while, he was talking about how much he liked me but I wasn’t that interested in him – you know, for anything beyond this night, he wasn’t really my type but he’d served his purpose for the evening – not the drinks mule part that you’re probably thinking – I am not like that usually but he made me feel good about myself while I was a bit low… I clearly have issues, I know, you don’t need to think it. But when something crappy happens to me, I seek validation from someone else. Not a good pattern & I don’t know how to break it. (Clearly I still haven’t worked that out yet either, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this blog) So when he asked for my number, I got through the first 7 digits & wondered if I really wanted this guy to be calling me tomorrow. I don’t hesitate while giving out my number, but I gave him the last 3 but changed the last digit, good move! Oddly he must’ve sensed something because he then decided to try to call me & told me to answer it. FUCK… Who does that? I told him my bag with my phone was over with my friend, which was true, but I wasn’t going to get it.

Fake Number over the top too keen.png

To this day, it’s the first & only time I have ever fake numbered a guy, I mean lets be frank, I don’t often meet men in bars that ask for my number, I’m not the type of woman that men swan about like peacocks. Begging for her number… I’m still not really sure why I did it & I don’t think I’ll do it again because now I’m strong enough to just say “No I’m not giving you my number.” But that night, it was just what I needed… He seemed a bit possessive when I wouldn’t get my phone to show him that he’d called the right number & got a little full on… I decided to go grab my friend & get the fuck out of there…

Maybe that’s one of the reasons why my karma is so bad with men, because I treated his one so badly? I’m sure there are others I treated badly too, I’m not innocent & play a part in every story in this blog… But this is probably the worst thing I ever did to someone, that I can remember, I would hate if a guy did that to me, but then again, I don’t pursue people, if they don’t write back I don’t keep messaging them until they respond like some guys do. I pretty much write people off assuming that if they stop talking to me, then they died. Yes that’s right died, why else wouldn’t a guy want to spend time with me? Surely it’s because they died that they didn’t text me back or call me or try to see me again. I mean what other reason could there be? Hahaha.

#IBD4U

Noodle #12

I just want to start this Noodle post by saying that I am glad that you are all still with me on this journey…  I appreciate it! I know the topics I discuss particularly in this series has some triggers for some people & believe me, I am not proud of how far this relationship has evolved but hopefully you just stick with me, reading it, judgement free…!

The next day, as if either of us need sex after the 3 hours we spent yesterday fucking at my house & at his work, but apparently he can’t get enough of me as he’s sneaking into my house on the Friday morning for another two hours… I really don’t know how he does it, but he seems to get away with being at my house every few days. This is the most a man has ever seen me that wasn’t Boyfriend (& he only saw me because we lived together!)

This is also probably the most I have ever seen Noodle, his job has changed quite a bit being that the store is closed, so I am not complaining, I am just concerned because I know what I am like… I have a guard up, men start off seeing me all the time, like several times a week, messages all the time, I let my guard down & then kind of fade away slowly… I treat people the same throughout the encounter/relationship etc, so if I see them a lot in the beginning, I expect that we will continue like that. I know I have high expectations & my friends tell me I do expect a lot from them but that’s just who I am, I like to see people a lot when I am seeing them… Why wouldn’t they want to see me too?

I know this can’t last & I am scared about how attached I am already… I haven’t fucked anyone else for a few weeks now, which isn’t long but when I started seeing Noodle I basically had 5 men in my rotation. I am down to one, who is showing me so much attention, the attention that I would want from a single man…

One morning at 5:50 am, I wake up to messages from Noodle, not unusual & not uncommon these days being that he’s always up earlier than me. We don’t take it in turns anymore, just whoever is up first! “Good morning hun, Your profile pic is stunning.” I know this is a joke message when I read that “You look like an angel. I’m 32 M down south that loves to eat pussy & can do it for hours” I laugh, this is something all men seem to say that they love going down on a woman & could do it for hours. Message me sexy baby when you wake up! I literally am laughing out loud & smiling like an idiot as I respond telling him that he has a problem. That ”sexy baby” doesn’t even sound right coming from him. I love that he has this sense of humor… I am attracted to people who make me laugh, a lot.

Noodle tells me about a conversation with Leblek (from Shark) & shows me a screenshot, where she has been messaging him & tells him that every chick has fallen for him on the chat app. FUCK, why would she do that? She knows I’m with him. I get jealous, I don’t want others wanting him… Well I don’t care if others want him, what I care about is him wanting them back… So all I can say to that is ”Don’t get a big head” but in only the way he can, he puts my mind at ease, as if he can sense the jealously, ”I should already have one, if I pulled you” I love that response… That makes me so happy that he can sense my jealously. When he realises that he’s being too nice to me, he says that ”You’re just ok” so I snap back ”Fuck you… Go find someone better than me then!” he quickly responds & I think he’ll say something equally as douchey ”I don’t think it gets much better than you…” he also says that ”I don’t think anyone would fuck me like you do” WOW, that was unexpected.

Noodle 12 jealous whore

I don’t see him over the weekend as his work is now basically shut & he’s working Monday to Friday. He comes over Monday morning for an hour, & then again on Tuesday morning – since he no longer is working late nights. On the Tuesday morning, I get up before he comes over & tie myself to my bed so that when he walks in, he sees me spread out for him. He always loves it when he sees me, I like to surprise him with something different. He spanks me & videos everything…

The next day I tell him that I checked our condom supply & its getting low, he says surely not there was 12 in the pack. I laugh & tell him not to worry, but we go through them very fast & that I still have some, so it’s all good. He tells me that it’s my fault… WHAT? My fault, how? ”Too irresistible. FUCK” Hahaha… He’s being way too nice to me! & why do I like it so much when he is so nice to me. Am I so starved for some affection that I am willing to lap up what this guy has to offer?

A couple of days later, Noodle is over after work for an hour, we fuck in the lounge room & as he’s pulling up his boxers, while I sit there recovering from multiple orgasms, he looks at his apple watch then at me & I can tell she’s calling him or messaging him. I’ve seen that look of horror before… He picks up his pants & digs around in his pocket for his phone & gets it out answering it, it is his partner – I can hear her & hear the way his voice changes. I wonder if she can tell too? He starts pacing around while on the phone. He tells her something about how she should’ve sent it back so I know she’s talking to him about a work related thing & it’s not about me or where he is. They both work for the same company, just at different stores & in different managerial positions – I’m not sure why she called him & didn’t ask someone at the store this question. I guess she has always been suspicious, I guess maybe she’s trying to catch him out? He hangs up & I don’t really pry him & ask if everything is ok, he seems stressed about the conversation, still pacing around while getting dressed & I again think that he’s going to back off a bit with me.

Again, it doesn’t stop him! In fact, it doesn’t even change how we are with each other at all… We even start with little nicknames for each other, I don’t really know how it came about but he starts calling me cute nicknames like marshmallow & lovebug after he says ”Just wanna squish you, you sexy white squishy little marshmallow” This is about the time that I start calling him “Gumdrop,” which he says he hates but I know he also loves it, I know how his mind works. It’s a bit like the nickname Noodle, he says he hates it & hates that everyone calls him that in the groups, but he loves it & it shows him that people care about him. Something he craves a lot after his childhood trauma.

It’s also around this time that he starts mentioning how I give him a weekly blowjob, he seems to think that its only weekly but he generally gets one every time we fuck! I love his cock & love it in my mouth. I never thought I would say that about a guys dick, but there you have it! We’re having sex more than once a week, so I’m sure he always gets a weekly blowjob from me!

Boy am I wrong about Noodle backing off, the next morning after the phone call afternoon, Noodle is coming over to my house for a morning romp as usual. He’s been to the store & opened it up returning to my house until I have to go to work. Seriously I love morning sex, it’s my favourite sex. We do it so well, he turns me on so much that I can’t stop this thing even if I tried… I have in my head so many times, tried to end it, how I would I do it, why I should end it. But I can’t… This is why, this is & this is literally the hardest thing that I have ever done! Do I have deeper feelings for this man?

As he standing at the door kissing me goodbye, he looks at his apple watch & pulls a face, while looking back at me, I again know that look… Its her… ”My wife just sent me a really weird message” I ask him what is it, which I don’t normally do because I don’t want to know what she’s saying, I honestly try not to think about her as much as possible. But he says that “She said that I’ll never see Linkin Park again.” Now Linkin Park is one of my favourite bands of all time, even my last car was named Chester after the lead singer. Noodle & I have talked about music, we have very similar tastes. Linkin Park is one of his favourites too. We had also worked out that we were at the same concert a few years ago too, not that we would have met, but I kind of think that as a bit of a sign, I mean the universe knows we should be together. Oddly the universe has put us in the same place at the same time a few times over the years… He used to date one of my employees when I was a manager at Foodland, I was with Boyfriend then so we wouldn’t have known each other but I find it odd that we would have crossed paths. Noodle & I have also worked out that we chatted several times on the anonymous app more recently, but because we don’t message people first, we both stopped chatting to each other. UNIVERSE! I don’t normally believe in that stuff, the timing wasn’t right then, but is the timing right now?

Anyway Noodle & I don’t think much of the text message & he turns to leave my house but smacks straight into the screen door, because it’s almost see through. I can’t help but laugh, but try not too because I know he’ll feel like an idiot for doing that. If I did that, I would laugh my head off & make them laugh too, being a bit of a larkin, but I know he isn’t like that. I laugh quietly to myself later all day but after he leaves I google what happened to Linkin Park only to find out that Chester has committed suicide. I literally message Noodle immediately & start playing their albums on repeat. Oddly all the lyrics to their songs, somehow, remind me how fragile this thing is with Noodle & how scared I am that I’m going to lose it…

#IBD4U

Foodland

Back when I was online dating, a few years ago, it was only a matter of time before I start chatting to someone who looks so familiar (with my recent ‘We’ve fucked before’ episode – I am weary of people who look familiar, scared of who they might be) I think shit, did I sleep with this guy, is that where I know him from? You just never know where it could be from & it’s unsettling. Was it just someone I worked with or someone who was a customer or did I actually fuck them at some point?

We talk for a week or so talking about going out for a fancy dinner to a nice restaurant but we end up agreeing that we are not fancy restaurant people & settle for fish & chips on the beach but I tell him that I’d prefer chico rolls & chips on the beach which he says “Now you’re talking” but we don’t lock in a time as I’m away for work.

I finally decide to ask him where I might know him from, he says he agrees that I look familiar & so I try a process of elimination of places I’ve worked because he could’ve been a customer or maybe someone that worked with me & then it hits me, Foodland! I used to work at foodland (a supermarket chain in Adelaide) in the service deli from when I was in school till just before things ended with Boyfriend. He says yeah he worked there & so I ask which store did he work at & it turns out he worked at the same one that I had worked at. He mentioned the store manager (who was part of the reason of why I quit…) & we realised that we worked at the same Foodland at the same time. However at that time I was with Boyfriend & we just chatted as we passed each other, but nothing of real consequence.

I ask him if the fact we worked together makes him want to meet me more or less – I am unsure but he says more, however that would’ve been his in to ask me out, but he doesn’t take it. I do something that I never do, I ask him a few days later what he’s up to & he says ‘I’m thinking about you, is that cool?’ I mean sure dude, that is cool! It’s so sweet, but if that were really true, wouldn’t he have messaged me? Not the other way around?

Despite this, I feel myself getting attached to the chats with this guy (What is wrong with me?!) & we haven’t even met & he’s not really what I’d be normally attracted too, but I’m trying to take my friends advice & go out with different people. Clearly the people I am attracted to aren’t working out for me, so I’ll go out with people I find attractive but not entirely 100% my type & see what happens. Try new things! Yes this is what I should be doing, I will see what happens with this guy! I really want someone to make me laugh & I think this guy might be able to do that.

Funny thing happens, well really, this is my life, so it’s not unexpected, nor should I be surprised either or is it really all that funny, but I stop hearing from him… He knows I have come back from my work trip, I assumed that we were talking about catching up that coming weekend, yet I don’t hear from him at all, until the end of the weekend & I say that I’ve been out twice that weekend (which is so unlike me) but he says ‘Hagg’ I think he’s trying to make a joke, so I just brush over it but I don’t hear from him much again.

Foodland, love , sex , Past.png

He kinda disappears, he messages me a few times but I don’t pursue him after the Hagg comment, so it kinda just ends, I don’t go online much when he is on there so he doesn’t message me.

I honestly don’t know what happens in these situations, I really don’t! If anyone can enlighten me, I’ll be happy to hear your theories…. When a guy just stops messaging & just ghosts you, what happens? I used to pretend that they died, because lets face it I can’t have that many men not interested in me & dating someone else…

#IBD4U