Crows

So I had decided that I need sex with someone else because I need to stop thinking about sex with Noodle. How good sex was with him! OMG… How comfortable I felt with him… How much I love him… STOP. Also now he’s getting amazing sex from his partner apparently (Thanks for sharing, was not necessary!), I should be too.

I post on the anonymous app for a hook up, so many men respond, but I start chatting ot one in particular, who seems kind of normal… He says he’s going to the footy tonight & asks what are the chances of us actually meeting up, because he’ll stay sober & come over after the game. I tell him that if his pictures are pretty realistic, then his chances are very good. He’s cute, seems tall & just what I need tonight.

We chat a little but not much because he says that his phone is dying (& he’s at the footy with mates) & he wants to be able to message me once the game is done. I ask him if he’s single & he says “not exactly.” Oh FFS, what does that even mean?! He explains he’s married – separated, they still live together but they sleep in separate rooms. (Yeah right!) At this point, I am so hurt by Noodle that I don’t even care what this guys deal is. I’ve already fucked another married guy Dom earlier today at his house, like I will never learn my lesson! & I can’t really judge Crows, I mean Fireman said that he lived with his ex for almost a year before he moved out of the house because it got awkward & they were fighting a lot. I guess if things are amicable for Crows & his wife, then I guess staying together for the kids is a good idea.   I still let Crows come over because let’s face it, I need something to erase the fact I lost something so special to me – even if it wasn’t special to Noodle (Though I believe the same as what some of my readers that have said about Noodle is burying his feelings for me & telling himself that he wants his partner because he wants his kids… Maybe I’m naïve, maybe it’s wishful thinking, but I agree with my readers!) What is it about married men that I’m attracted too or are attracted to me!

Crows is definitely better looking than his pictures that he sent me – he’s tall, slim, muscly – almost can see ab definition & very very handsome. I feel a bit out of my depth now that he’s turned up at my house. Thank god I am drinking wine, wondering if I can go through this or not. We sit down on the couch to chat, as I had said to him during the chat today that I didn’t want to be just a root, I want an ongoing friends with benefits with someone who is good at sex – is that so much to ask?

Crows moves in to kiss me, he’s a good kisser… We have sex – it is good sex & I find myself enjoying it, not thinking about anything else but this guy with me – much to my surprise. He has a pretty big thick cock that worries me that it’ll hurt me when I initially see it. I am known for not loving a big dick because it can hurt me. But it seems to fit alright & it’s actually good. Sometimes men with big dicks think that’s all it takes so they aren’t very good at sex. I find men with smaller cocks seem to work harder! Hahaha.

When Crows goes down on me, I actually think that he’s better than Noodle to be honest, he actually makes me cum pretty easily like he’s eating a really juicy peach, while then slipping in 2 fingers & make me cum like I never thought I would again with another man. Wow, I’m really surprised I let go enough to cum like that with a complete stranger. I mean I had cum with Dom today but this was an intense orgasm that I never have with strangers. Noodle was the only one to get me to cum like that ever before. WOW.

Crows lays around for a while with me after which I also like, I hate when a dude just jump up & runs away (probably home to their wives, lets face it!) but what the actual fuck, I spill the beans about the whole story with Noodle. He listens, asking questions & provides his perspective which I appreciate & he leaves. I cannot believe that I have done that, what is wrong with me?! Why would I tell a random stranger about the guy I am still in love with & about all the shit he’s doing with his partner now she knows about me.

Just a side note to that too – I know some of you have said that Noodle was lying about her or she was cheating on him. Well I can confirm that Noodle didn’t lie about their sex life before or after their affair. I have no idea if she had an affair, but I had actually questioned that myself – why else would someone be so paranoid… However, I have seen a few women that have been cheated on & become a crazy sexy sexual being after her partner cheats. I believe that it’s because they think that he cheated on her because of the sex. The women (& men) who are cheated on are told the lies that it was just sex so they try to change their ways to keep their partner happy. What they don’t realise, that if it was just sex, the guy would probably be fucking a new person every week, I mean it’s less risky because the random sex encounter rather than a ongoing affair with the same woman. Clearly when a man cheats just with one woman for a year, it is more than just sex…

I expect never to hear from Crows again being that he’s married with very little kids too – I mean he says he’s separated & living in separate rooms, however I am not sure how much I believe that story to be really honest. Plus I just had verbal diarrhoea about my now ex (or whatever the fuck Noodle was/is). FUCK. I can’t believe that I did that… Am I ever going to be ok with another man ever again? I mean I am trying so hard right not to get over Noodle. I have fucked Dom today & his house & now I have fucked another married man on the same damn day! I mean I am not sure I believe Crows story of being separated, but at this point, I don’t even care! I am literally an empty shell, barely functioning.

I’m surprised when Crows messages me again & offers up his chat app user name for me to chat to him on there – which is a bit easier. He says he recognises my profile straight away & remembers being in a banter group with Noodle & I. He said he felt awkward trying to talk to me because Noodle always jumped on any guy that attempted to talk to me. (OMG, others noticed it too!) FUCK me, it makes me miss Noodle even more.

I chat to Crows almost daily but we don’t catch up again for over a month. I think that his story of being separated is total bullshit or I scared him off with my stupid verbal diarrhoea. Probably the latter. But also because a lot of stuff happens that you’ll find out in some other blogs. Stay tuned! Hahaha.

He says he has to work early & then look after the kids so he could come to my house at 5:30 am. I tell him that I will leave the door unlocked but will get back into bed… Why do I let men do this? This is only like the second time I will have ever met this man & I’m getting up to unlock the door then waiting in bed for them!? Fuck. I’m so dumb sometimes. However we have amazing sex & while it’s good while I’m with him, I can’t help but think about Noodle once Crows is gone…

When will I ever stop thinking about Noodle after I fuck other guys?

#IBD4U