With everything going on at work & this new feeling that I didn’t know at the time was anxiety, I am acting crazy with Silverlining so much so that I don’t even understand why he is even talking to me or making an effort. He goes offline really early one afternoon saying that his “wife is being a cunt. Don’t ask” I tell him that he can talk to me about it but he doesn’t. Later though I ask him again & he tells me that she hassles him a lot to call in sick or go home early on her days off. He said that she was being a dick about it & so he went home early… He says that she knew that he took days off for me to spend with me, so she cracks it at him to do the same when she’s not at work… I assume she calls in sick on his days off, but he says that she has no sick days so she doesn’t, but she still brings up the fact that he took off days to be with me, but won’t take time off to be with her… First of all – OMG. Remember this is a year since I officially last spoke to him so it’s like over 18 months since she found out about me, she seriously can’t still be bringing me up!? Also he lives with her, he sees her every day. There’s no way he’d take sick days for me if we lived together… But she gets pissed, even now even though she doesn’t know about this second affair & thinks he’s being monogamous to her, that he doesn’t take time off for her… I hate being this person, but I also don’t understand her for wanting to stay & live like that… But then, why am I living like this?!
We talk more about other stuff when he’s back online, things have been super shit at work & I usually have him to talk to so it’s never as bad so when he comes back online we dribble shit about everything but I’m sending him pictures of me in lingerie asking what he wants me to wear, when he says that one is his favourite & so I send it again to confirm & he says “Yep” I think that’s kind of an odd response from him, usually there’s comments galore about how I look to him & so I say “Jesus… The women in the group get more of a response & they don’t suck your cock” he tells me not to go crazy on him & I realise that I am going crazy… I am in a fucking state all the time & I’m taking it out on him…
We get onto the topic of the day he almost moved in with me & how much I wanted to show him my redecorating & my new bedroom, but I say that I was waiting for his undivided attention to sttept to have sex with him, when he tells me how stressful that day was for him. I remind him how stressful it was for me too. I had spend the day with his baby in my arms while he said to me it was over with her & he was going to be with me, only to watch him text her all day & still be unsure about his decision. He tells me that he almost changed my life… But what he forgets is that he changed my life before that day. I had never been in love before, I had never had chemistry with another human before like that. I had never had a best friend like that before either… He changed everything about the way I think about life! He doesn’t know how much he changed me. I don’t think he’ll ever grasp that concept to be perfectly honest.
We talk randomly about all sorts of stuff when we get on the topic of my body & he has no tact to be able to tell me that he likes my body, but also likes to point out the areas I need to improve, like I don’t already know the areas, but Silverlining likes to point it out because he’s an asshole but we’re always super honest with each other! When he says “OMG. I love you the way that you are” & I swoon. I am reminded of that scene in Bridget Jones Diary… FUCK… How can he be such as an asshole but I fucking adore him so much?
When he says goodbye, he reminds me what time & where to meet tomorrow morning, 6:00am on a fucking Sunday morning! If only my vagina didn’t think for me! When he comes back online just after 9:00pm I am surprised, fuck she goes to bed early! He tells me that it’s also fucking day light savings, meaning I will be up at 4:30am, not 5:30am to fuck him by 6:00am! I do have a fucking problem! I send him some pictures of the new lingerie I bought today that I’m wearing & he says he wouldn’t complain if I wear that tomorrow morning. He logs off saying the usual love you’s & I know that even though I only have 5 hours to sleep tonight, I am not going to get any! I am too excited!
I’m awake before the alarm, laying there trying to make myself sleep some more. But I hear the distinct vibration of the app & know he’s messaged me to ask if I am awake – this makes my clit tingle knowing I am going to see him today & I’m going to get to cum this time too. I get ready in the lingerie that I said I would wear & a denim dress. I don’t even know where he is on the road but I leave not wanting to be late or miss a minute with him. Even though I go down the expressway & take a wrong turn being they change the roads all the time at this time to get to his gym by his work, I beat him there & I watch him pull in & park next to me. He jumps in my car & orders me to park around the back. It’s pitch black outside being that it’s now daylight savings. He makes me find the dark alley where the bins are & makes me reverse into a loading dock. He’s looking around like a maniac for cameras & checking to make sure his location says that he’s at the gym in case she wakes up to check it.
We don’t even get to kiss much before another car is driving in the driveway & trying to reverse into the loading dock too. It seems like it’s the groundskeeper of the shopping complex. Silverlining sort of loses it a little & makes me drive off – it looks like we were doing a fucking drug deal! I drive across the road to a church where the car will be hidden by some trees, it’s still very dark so it’s ok. I mean we’ve fucked in the car in broad daylight in the afternoon so this shouldn’t be an issue, except his phone location shows that he’s across the street from the gym & he freaks a bit about that too.
But we get into the back seat & it’s on, it’s hot & we’re stripping each other quickly. His eyes pop when he sees the lingerie – & somehow that looks is what pays for the lingerie. I fucking love that look… I suck his cock like a good little slut for him, which he loves – of course. I try to ride him in the backseat but this smaller car isn’t easy & I give up telling him that I don’t think I will be able to cum this morning. This sentence to Silverlining is like a major turn on or something, he makes it his mission to make me cum. He pulls out every move that he knows makes me cum & within a few minutes, I am cumming on his cock & screaming (Which I still deny I scream!)
As the sun is starting to rise & shine through the trees, he starts freaking out about his phone location that he makes me drive over to his car & park next to it. I assume that he’s going to get out & go work out in the gym being it’s before 7:00am. He doesn’t start till 8:00am & I don’t want him to go, I mean I have woken up at stupid o’clock for him. He makes no move to get out of the car & stays there to chat to me, holding my hand or kissing me gently as we talk… This is what I love. This is what I missed in that year. The best friend time with him. We talk about work for both of us, we talk about diets, we talk about music, we talk about the chat apps, we talk about life, we talk about everything… This is the reason I am still in love with this man. I can say anything, I can hear anything & we just can be together. We do chat a lot when together, so this is always my favourite part. Cumming is just like eating the icing first before eating the cake.
I have brought him a gift which I feel stupid giving him now, it’s just a sugar free powerade & microwave pork crackle that we’d been talking about that he said he couldn’t get at his store. He laughs & says thanks. I know he like that I have done something so mundane as buy him groceries but this is love – the way we show our love for each other.
As time ticks so fast, I start to hate the clock, never slowing down, I am getting sad about the fact that he is going to say he has to go soon as he wants to shower at the gym before work, washing away any trace of me & our love making. I don’t know what makes me sadder, is this is probably the last time I am going to see him for a while or the fact that he is going to get out of my car & wash me away like I never existed?!
I guess this is the problem with being the other women… I should be used to this feeling by now.