So it’s been almost a year since I wrote about Marvel at all. Which means that it’s been another year or more & I have not had sex with another man. One man has tried to kiss me as you’ve read Trainer, but I stopped it, not just because of Marvel but because I didn’t want it to happen. I knew it was dumb to invite him over but I want a partner & not just the half ass situationship I have with Marvel & the awkward interaction that would have turned into with Trainer at work. If a man wants me, really really wants me, he will put in effort to get to know me, date me, wine & dine me, really treat me with respect before he gets to know me sexually. I am obviously not a prude, but I am sick of meeting men, getting to know them, then fucking them & never hearing from them again. A cycle I have somehow broken & will not enter into again. It is unfulfilling & not good for my mental health. I guess I’ve only broken it because I have stopped seeing anyone else but Marvel…
My dogs are now 4 years old, I have truly realised that they are my cure for the loneliness I have sought throughout this entire blog, I am not worried about being alone like I used to be, don’t get me wrong, it still sucks being alone alli the time (grass isn’t always greener, I know!) but the dogs take away some of the sadness of being alone 24/7. The only thing that ever makes me truly sad is that in another 10 years or so they’ll be gone. That is the worst heartbreak I will ever feel. No offence to Marvel or comparing my dogs to humans, but they are the loves of my life & I cannot imagine a world without them in it. (I can imagine a life without their hair all over my house though!)
I also told you about the ADHD diagnosis & the fact I started taking medication, while it made me less angry & more chilled, I am much more reflective on situations & my part in it – particularly when reading back over the blog. But also the past year that I have been on the meds has been the worst in my career – being fired during probation from two jobs & having three temps jobs, my resume is now a fucking nightmare making it difficult to get a decent job – thankfully now I am in a ongoing role (yet to pass probation at the time of writing) but I really don’t love it but I need to be settled in a job & work my way up somewhere… But with the meds I have also noticed how lazy I am, not going to the gym, not getting out of bed on the weekends unless I have too, binge watching tv shows, being so lazy that I decide to stop taking the meds. But nothing changes for me besides I balloon out. I put on 13kgs in 3 months. I feel hideous & I wonder if Marvel notices – he’s put on some weight too so perhaps he hasn’t?!
My blog style is going to change a bit from here… I am not sure how often I will post, maybe monthly maybe more, maybe less, I didn’t write a lot in 2024 nor did I keep lots of notes but I do have some writing which has been sitting there for a long time, so when I picked up the laptop to keep writing it all, it now, mainly exists in my memory. So instead of long winded, blow by blow posts that involve Marvel, I am going to write month by month, because that’s basically what this affair & my dating life has turned into, minimal chatting, catch up once a month, usually a little chat for a couple of hours afterwards then radio silence until he’s dick alerts him that it’s almost been a month since we last fucked… Then the cycle repeats.
Stay tuned for the next era in the I’ve Been Dating For You Blog!
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I've Been Dating For You 