A few weeks ago, a very good friend of mine, told me she believes that I am judgemental. This got me thinking as I have always thought that I am pretty open minded & I don’t think I judge anyone at all, I mean if you’re a regular reader of this blog, you know that I am the last person that should be judging anyone!
However it’s struck a cord with me as she did reference my blog & things I say out loud to her. When I am discussing why people do what they do to my close friend, I am not at all intending that to be judgement. Especially when I say “How can she stay with him?” (Mainly about Silverlining’s wife. That is not me meaning to be judgemental, that is me simply asking the question out to the universe! I guess the question that I don’t ask out loud at the same time, but I constantly think is “How can I still want him after everything?” I understand why she’s holding on, they have history, a family, a life together so my question is hypothetical… What I had with his, was a dream, a fantasy of what we could have had. So I want to be clear that I am not judging.
I also want to be clear if I describing how someone’s house looks or their appearance, I am just simply trying to paint a picture. I am not judging anyone or meaning to seem judgmental. I mean I have told you before, I have what my friends call a show home – people are afraid to bring their kids to my house (which I find silly but I get why they wouldn’t want too) but I grew up in a hoarders house, my parents are still hoarders. I didn’t come from money or a home where we have everything packed away, so again if I am describing the ins & outs of someone’s house or car, I am not trying to be judgy, I am simply trying to paint the picture.
I honestly thought that was what I was doing with a my friends too, but obviously I am coming across as a judgmental bitch. This is not my intention of my blog or my words. I am not going to pretend that I don’t know that what I say & how I say it could be perceived as judgemental, but it’s not my intention.
I am far from perfect, I am far from being fault free… I am me & I have made mistakes. I don’t have a poker face. I write as if I am speaking to you & telling you the story in person. I don’t change the way I am, I am finding out lately that sometimes that means walking away from some friendships that you’ve had for many years… Sometimes that means giving someone another chance…
But just know, that I do genuinely know I am a good person who has done some wrong things, no one is perfect. No one is always on their best behaviour. But I am me, I am trying to be the best I can while sharing my inner most thoughts with you…
I hope this ramble makes sense. A few things have happened lately that I am evaluating my friendships, evaluating my love life.
To give you a small spoiler update, you all know from another post that I lost my previous job in 2020, a job I was good at, a job I loved. After a year of finding myself again I have recently gained full time employment in the field that I have been working towards for about 8 or 9 years. Something that has been dangled in front of my eyes so many times & taken away… So I say to anyone who’s dreams keep getting squashed, to keep aiming for those stars, because you will reach them if you never alter your dream to suit someone else… Now only if I could be as successful in my relationships! Hahaha!
Keep reading to find out what else happens with me!