Ah so we’re still around the end of 2019, I meet a man online who I have mutual friends with on Facebook. I actually work with his cousin & have a friend in common too, you may remember Shark, this guy, Comedy is also friends with him too… That’s Adelaide for you. Comedy isn’t exactly my type but to be honest, I don’t know what my type is. I mean I used to always want someone with blonde hair & blue eyes, just like me. However every single guy I date is pretty much brown hair, brown eyes & usually with a beard… I mean I hate beards. Yet the guy I love has one? So yeah he wasn’t even my typical type & yet somehow I fell for him too. This guy Comedy is fair with blue eyes, so perhaps this is why he’s been sent to me? Perhaps he is my type?
Also he knows people I know so he can’t be a complete douche? But then why haven’t people tried to set me up if he’s single? Well I’ll tell you why… We chat for a bit & then decide to meet, we meet for a drink at a pub, closer to me than him but he lives way out north in whoop whoop but he says that he doesn’t mind driving to meet me… It’s a Sunday afternoon, I know I will have to go home & have family dinner soon, so we won’t get long anyway.
Comedy tells me about how he has two kids & also tells me that his ex has done a number on him, not going into full details but he gave me enough information for me to realise that he is not over her or what happened. He also reveals that he’s not looking for a relationship – well what the fuck are we doing here? Why date if you don’t want a relationship? Don’t you just try to fuck them after a few drinks? Not meet them on a Sunday afternoon!
So I sit though the date doing what I usually do & avoid talking about my past, knowing that there is no point being here today… I mean I am not saying he has to want to be in a relationship with me or that I am looking for one as such while my heart is still shattered, but I know I don’t want to waste time with someone who doesn’t want to be in a relationship. Been there – done that! This blog is a testament to that. Hahaha.
Anyway he contacts me after the date & asks to go to a comedy show, I have nothing better to do, so I decide to go along. We can be friends. We meet for a drink & a comedy show after work one night & it’s a good night, a little awkward as I know his feelings haven’t changed & so I keep him at distance. I am not certain what I am looking for but I know I don’t need another emotionally unavailable man in my life. I don’t want to get hurt again & I don’t want to put myself in a position again when I could fall for someone who can’t/won’t fall for me.
He keeps the conversation going online after the date & we arrange to meet for another comedy show & dinner, after work again on a weeknight however, this night I am starting to get a sore throat & I don’t want to cancel since we had tickets, but at the end of the night when we’re standing at my car, I get the feeling he is going to try to kiss me… To be honest, my throat isn’t that sore & it actually never eventuated into anything, however, knowing how far away this guys lives from me – like over an hour & a half away plus the fact that he doesn’t want another relationship, I am keeping myself emotionally unavailable to him. I mean lets face it, I am emotionally unavailable to everyone at this point, but I have a guard up with this guy. So I pull away from the kiss & tell him that I don’t want to get him sick. He genuinely looks upset & I never want to see that look on a guys face ever again.
After that date, we chat a little, he messages me for my birthday & we talk about going to another comedy show again – as that’s the thing we had in common & lets face it who doesn’t love a comedy show?!
But a few months later – I see his profile picture has changed on Facebook & what do you know… It’s a stunning woman looking all gooey eyed with him…WHAT THE FUCK. He was so adamant about not wanting to be in another relationship ever again – EVER, like so much so that I was taken back by the way he was so forceful about it, yet he was on a dating app, matching with people a million miles away from him…
He’d even told me about a woman he was seeing just before me who he’s now just friends with but she wants more & he refuses to give her more so she’s stopped seeing him – or something like that… I don’t blame her & I thank him for his honesty on the date, but this shit fucks me off…
I kept this man at a distance & never got to really know him or give either of us a chance because of what he’d said & now look, he’s got a fucking gorgeous girlfriend… Where am I? Still dating absolute fuckwits… I just want to scream….