I’m pretty sure I replied to a comment on Facebook ages ago, for Goodwin #2 that I was never going to go there again with this guy… Well… Apparently I while I didn’t know it then, I lied! When he pops up again on the chat app with a new account I start chatting to him, we chat a lot actually & never get to plan a time to catch up. This guy isn’t going to be anything, this guy isn’t going to be the love of my life but he might be some fun.
You have to remember that I have been dating now for almost 15 years & am yet to date a decent guy, so what’s the point? While I have Marvel, I also don’t want to keep all my eggs in his basket, while I don’t think marvel is seeing anyone else, I don’t really know or will ever know what he’s doing on the side.
Remember when I went speed dating for the last time? Well the next night, despite how much I hate that I did or allowed that to get to me, I am at my lowest, I mean – for fuck sake – I didn’t even get a match at all… How fucking sad is that?! Like I don’t mean to brag, you all know I have very low self-esteem, but this is the best I have ever looked in my life. So I am feeling low because if how good I look yet I am a still fucking single & dating absolute wankers, what is it about me that makes me so undateable?!
Anyway Goodwin has arrange to come over but as I wait & wait & wait like a wanker, he messages to tell me that his sister has been in a bun crash & that he’s at the women’s & children’s hospital with her. Okay, plausible story, I can’t fact check to be honest but I don’t even care. I write the standard thing, like I hope she’s ok & then stop replying – but he doesn’t read it.
We arrange another date to catch up a few weeks later, much to my better judgement & all I get from him before we’re supposed to catch up is “Today isn’t going to work.” Eh whatever dude, I write him off & never reply. This has to be done, I mean what is with this man, It’s so weird, it’s not like I am interested in him like that & I haven’t been clingy so fuck know what he wants….
Three months later I get messages from him & against my better judgement, again I reply – like I am so fucking sad that I keep replying to this guy, this fuck wit who is just playing games with me, saying that he’s moved to New Zealand. Like, ok, why are you messaging me? What am I going to do with that, I mean he’s in another country!! What’s the purpose of this char?
But then just as quick as he had gone, he’s home & messaging me. This time he actually does come over & when he gets there he spends so much time massaging me that I think he’s going to have to go before we even have sex.
I’m not sure why he’s massaging me, but I have to say I like it. He says he’s a physio but I’m sure he’d said at the beginning that he was a podiatrist, but whatever he is, I like this massage, it’s the longest massage a guy has ever given me leading up to sex too. Most men rub your back for 10 minutes then roll you over, however Goodwin is on a mission, he messages me a lot & works his way down so he’s fingering me, I have to admit that I am really turned on from the massage that he’s able to finger me & with each pump of his hand going into me slowly, he adds a finger… I try to relax because I work out what he’s trying to do & I’ve never had a guy do this to me before so I go with it. He’s trying to fist me & he gets close, but I can’t relax enough & I wonder if it’s because I don’t really know this guy that well & I don’t really want a first with him… I suck his dick after he makes me cum then he rushes off before the cum is even dry.
I see him again before the end of this story, but it’s much the same, he tries to fits me unsuccessfully & then rushes off quickly after he’s cum. I chat to him sporadically, he talks to me about a threesome, the threesome I want with two guys – but he’s just not one of the guys however he says that he has a friend that will do it with us, which I am reluctant about. Being I haven’t seen Goodwin that much to really trust him to fuck my ass or stop the other guy if he goes too far. I get Dom Dom on board for this threesome, the guy I wanted to do it with Marvel back in the day. They agree but then when I tell Goodwin that Dom Dom is married he says no judgement but never raises the subject again. So I guess that isn’t going to happen then! Hahaha.
I guess I don’t really have an end to this story to be honest, we don’t catch up again & sporadically talk but I am non-committal to everything because, do you know what? He doesn’t deserve my time, but like any other guy still dangling in my life, I sometimes have nothing better to do than to write to them so I use them for a bit of company – just as much as they are using me for whatever they are using me for.
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