I’m going to do a few short posts in the next few releases of blogs as I have a few little stories to get out… So I may post on random days not just Sunday’s as I have been – It will always be a Friday, Sunday or Tuesday but keep an eye out! Or better yet, subscribe via email & it’ll come straight to your inbox.
So while these little stories don’t seem significant, just wait to you read the end of this one & keep in mind I actually had to live through this in real time… This is why these stories are significant to things that happen, happened & what my thought process is…
So lets get back to some things that crossed over my timeline with T**y & also at the end of 2019. All the root cause for me saying I’m not dating in 2020. However I am still not 100% sure how or if I am going to go into details about 2020 & 2021 – I really need a consultant to help me make some decisions… Hahaha! I did post on Facebook & you all said to write as if I would if no one were reading, so I will do my best for you all!
This dude – Baker, I’m chatting to on a dating site & he seems a bit younger but when we talk about our histories to do with being overweight, we seem to find stuff in common, so we chat easily.
He’s a baker (As if you didn’t already know that! Hahaha) he is already home from work messaging me saying he should go to sleep, that he’s been awake at work all night. But I am out north side of town for work, when we’re messaging & I tell him I am looking for somewhere to go for lunch & he says that he’ll come meet me… WELL FUCK. I am in a shopping complex not in a date outfit but a more dressy than my usual work outfits, a white long French Connection skirt & navy no brand top, I’ve actually done my makeup today – which is also unusual, so I look good, I feel good so I think why the hell not. I like to meet people quickly so I don’t start dreaming up our relationship in my head. We’ve only been chatting a few days so it’s fairly new & interesting, I am not out north a lot, nor do I have time for lunch breaks often so I think this is the perfect opportunity & if it goes badly, then I have an out as I have to get back to work!
We meet in a café, but he’s late & so I happen to get out my work laptop & do some work while waiting. I look pretentious, it’s not something I do often but I have work to do. When he arrives, only a couple of minutes late, I struggle to put my laptop away & look at the menu, then going up to order. It’s always awkward in a café, who pays… I am first so I just pay for my own & sit back down. I get a big breakfast like a fat bitch & he gets loaded fries – which he barely eats any of & I basically finish mine as I love a good breakfast platter for lunch!
Maybe the sight of a woman actually eating turned him off or maybe because he was tired – even though he rocked up looking like he is a homeless person saying he’s going on a hike, but this guy could not be less interested to chat to me on this date. He does talk about smoking weed, which isn’t my thing so maybe he’s just stoned?! I don’t know what it is but I give up trying to have a conversation with him & just let the silence be awkward while we eat. This is when he realises that I am doing all the talking & when I shut my mouth he sort of tries to have a reasonable conversation but I can tell he is either stoned, doesn’t care about this date or both. I realise that I don’t care either, I shouldn’t even be on this date. He’s a bore & I’m clearly not his type. That’s fine I am not hurt about it but I make the excuse that I need to get back to work he talks about a going on a hike. He walks me halfway to my car then says he has to go another way, so I just wave goodbye, knowing there is no chemistry with this guy, not even a tiny spark.
I never hear from him again & I never message him either… No love lost. But as I walk away, my heart aches. If fucking aches. Not for this guy of course… This guy is nothing to me. Just another story to tell you all about why & how I am still so fucking in love with Silverlining… This is what the universe gives me when I try to move on, when I try to forget him… I get some dickhead that can’t even act interested in me when on a date…