Ok first of all, I sometimes find it hard to write when I know certain people – either the guy or my friends are going to read the blog… But I always try to be honest, share my side of what I think happened & basically try to come across as bitter – even though my dating life is making me worse & worse! Hahaha.
There aren’t many things I haven’t tried to meet someone over the years, but one thing that I haven’t really done in my dating career is a blatant setup, where both people know they’re being setup, that they know, you know they know & you’re actually chatting to date – you’ve got mutual friends so there is a lot more riding on this, you won’t do the usual things you’d do to a random from a dating app. You don’t want to come across as the jerk in the equation, do you? No you’ll have to tread very carefully on these ones… Or so I thought, I mean look what Eastwood did?! So perhaps but view point on this is skewed slightly…
So when one of my friends contacts me & says that she has this friend ( I believe she’s mentioned him before but he’d only just split with his wife & then he got a girlfriend – of course he did!) anyway he’s now split up with the rebound chick & he’s ready again. She tells me that she set him up with his wife originally so she’s really good at matchmaking & she really thinks that him & I will hit it off.
She then lists his qualities on her fingers – He is really lovely, he’s really really sweet, he’s a bit rough round the edges but he will spoil any woman that is with – like little trips away all expenses paid, he’s got his head screwed on… You know, it’s everything a person wants to hear about a person that they may want to date. I don’t care about being spoiled, all I want is to find someone to laugh & have banter with, that I don’t have to see all the time but is committed to me – is that too much to ask? Hahaha.
She sends me pictures of him, it’s hard to tell because they’re not of just him, she’s in them or he looks so sunburnt but he looks good. I send her some of me too, which she will be sending to him. She shows me a message from him that says he just wants someone easy going & chilled, that he can spend time with & chill with, but he tells her that if I am looking for someone to be with every night then he can’t be that person. That’s fine. That works for me. Seems a bit too good to be true, right?!
So once the photos are approved, I allow her to give him my number & he instantly texts me to say hello. We text for a bit & then he tells me he’s going to the snow tomorrow for the school holidays with his kids & his most recent ex’s kids. Well this wasn’t a good time to start chatting, as you know I don’t like messaging for too long before we meet because otherwise you build it into something it’s not & then there’s a lot of pressure on the date for it to go well…
Every single day he’s away, I get text messages, I get photos of their food they’re cooking – he does lots of slow cooker meals, I get questions asking how I am, I get questions about what I’m doing, most mornings & nights – not all but I usually get a hello & goodbye, good morning or good afternoon. This guy also knows from another friend – we have several mutual friends now he’s also added me on FB – he knows about my two rules: that I don’t drink alone & that I don’t text first. So perhaps he’s being so consistent because he knows those rules or perhaps this is just how he is?
So for two weeks he’s away & then about a week or so since he got back, he’s been super busy, he sends me pictures of all sorts of random shit, then he posts them on FB too. He’s got his own business so we talk about my upcoming renovation & how shit my neighbours are being, he’s helpful & offers his digger & offers to help me out… I’ve heard all this before from men, so I take it with a grain of salt. I also don’t want to owe this guy (or any guy offering their services) anything so I just pay for me own stuff, but I do pick his brain about the quote I’ve gotten etc.
We haven’t really talked about catching up much but finally he wants to lock in a date. I suggest a couple of times I’m free this week & he tells me he needs to check with Cat… I think why does he need to talk to his cat?! But he tells me Cat is PA & she runs his life – surely not his fricken social life, he can’t be that important Mr Christian Grey with a PA. I don’t hear from him the next day to confirm what his PA will allow him to do, so I just leave it.
We obviously do talk again & when he suggests tomorrow, I say I can’t till like 6:30 pm, but then says that he has the gym. Now when we first started chatting, I was being super motivated & going 4 times a week, he said he hadn’t been in a gym in years, now he’s passing up a date for a gym session?! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. Anyway he offers me a 30 minute date before he goes to the gym, I just say don’t stress we’ll do it another time, I am not going on a speed date with this guy. I get he’s trying to establish a routine at a the gym, but fuck that’s dedication & I get he was trying to be sweet about the fact he still wanted to see me, but also remember, he was going to be at the gym longer than he would have been out with me! Just think about that…
The day of the supposed to happen date, in my eyes it’s not happening. I told him not to stress about it, it’s all good. But I get a message from him saying that he can’t do tonight anymore, I say all good & get back to work. He asks if he can call instead later. I agree. I don’t actually want to talk to him on the phone tonight because I have been calling legal firms about advice for my renovation & my neighbours, but because I’m not on Centrelink, no one will give me advice or help me. I can do it myself, I just need to know the right procedure. I feel like I am fighting my old workplace again, lost in a sea of legal jargon while the other side has a trained lawyer. FUCK.
So it’s not a good night for him to call, but when he calls, I try that thing where you fake smile & your voice sounds happier. We chat easily & I enjoy the conversation. He invites me to this lawnmower racing thing he likes to go too & posts all over FB about it. I would go, but not by myself. The conversation is sometimes funny, it’s not hilarious, I’m not so invested but I’m also a bit guarded too. This guy did choose a gym session over me, after saying he hadn’t been in a gym for years! I mean, yes, it’s only been 3 weeks & I don’t want to get too excited & too into this, when the guys not that into me.
I do talk a little bit about my drama with my reno & he talks about how shit his day was having to fix a $100k job from his subcontractor. The conversation flows smoothly – no awkward silences & I find myself talking to him easily. But as the call ends, there is no talk about actually catching up. In fact that topic, ironically never comes up again.