Fiction : Fleaz #28

Again – the story wasn’t ever finished, so here are some chapters that were written but didn’t line up with the story yet. So as the same as my dating life, there wasn’t much closure in this story either! Hahaha

“You’re what?” he stares at me as if he didn’t hear me

“Pregnant…” I run my fingers through my hair, I know this is not going to go down well with him, Conner has sworn not to have children & I never seemed to care because I wasn’t sure I could be a mum & give up my life as it was. This changed everything, I only took the test to rule it out, I didn’t even think for one second that it could be positive, I take my contraceptives religiously. I took the test while he was out because I didn’t want to freak him out especially if there was nothing to worry about but I also didn’t mean to blurt it out when he walked in the door. I expect him to get angry & yell, possibly leave in a huff & go get drunk with Tyler while I try to message him, he’ll ignore all the messages & come home the next day to finally deal with it. He dumps his keys on the side table by the door & walks over to standing inches from my face, his head bowed to look me directly in the eyes, his hands rest on my hips

“Really?” I nod & a tear falls down my cheek, I wipe it away hoping he doesn’t see it, of course he does, he wipes another tear as it falls. He drops to his knees pressing his lips to kiss my tummy, my hands run through his hair, I have no idea what he is thinking “Hello in there.” The flood gates open, I can’t control the sobs, blame the hormones! “Hey, what’s with the water works?” He stands & takes my face in his hands.

“You swore you’d never be a father” I pause & he exhales loudly “I didn’t know how you’d react” he wipes my tears with a sad smile.

“That was before you Kristie” he kisses me softly “The timing could be better & I…” he trails off, I look him in the eye

“You will be a fantastic father”

“I’m scared as hell I won’t be” I hug him tightly

“I know you are, but I am scared to be a mum too” he scoffs

“You excel at everything you do, as if you need to doubt yourself”

“I do though Conner, we both do”

Fleaz – next segment

I wake up suddenly in pain, my belly is contracting, I grasp it rubbing the hard round protruding stomach, I try to relax thinking it’s just Braxton hicks contractions which I have read so much about in my pregnancy books, when the next contraction pain hits me with extra force than the pain that woke me, I instantly know somehow that this is not Braxton hicks. I shake Conner trying to wake him before I can turn on the light, sitting up slight as he stirs when I feel stickiness between my legs

“Conner, something’s not right” the tone in my voice makes him sit bolt upright, in the glow of his clock radio I see him fumbling to reach the lamp, I flick the covers back as he switches it on, we both gasp as we see my legs, the white sheets & my standard pyjamas of Conner’s boxer shorts & t shirt, ruined with a thick coating of bright red blood

“Fuck” he swears, diving for his mobile on the nightstand he calls an ambulance, “I need an ambulance right away” silent tears are running down my cheeks at the sight of the blood, I am crying at the feeling of pain, crying thinking of the babies, crying thinking of Conner. I am holding my stomach as I sit up on the edge of our bed

“Get me a towel” I whisper, Conner runs off & returns with a white towel I am trying to stand up, why did I buy white towels & sheets? I guess I never thought I would ruin them with blood. I need to get downstairs for the ambulance, Conner presses the towel between my legs & picks me up in a bridal pose as if he knows I was going to try to walk down the stairs, his face is white as a ghost, I know he is thinking about his mother “I’ll be ok Dimples” & I nuzzle his neck praying that I am right. It’s the longest 8 minutes of our lives waiting for the ambulance, Conner doesn’t want to leave my side but I make him go upstairs & put some clothes on, he’s running down the stairs putting on his t shirt & he buttons up his jeans as he stands in front of me, making sure I am ok. As we hear the siren screaming around our streets, Conner sprints outside to hail it down, not wanting them to waste a minute looking for our house, the paramedics run inside with the stretcher knowing from the phone call that Conner made that I have to get to the hospital as soon as possible, I hear Conner telling them all my vital information

“She’s 29 weeks pregnant with twins, she just woke up in pain & bleeding. She’s not allergic to anything” he looks down at me as they strap me to the bed “Please be ok Kristie, please…” the paramedics wheel me out, I hear Conner on the phone as he slams the front door, he probably called my mum or sister.

“They’re just putting her in the ambulance now, I’ll call you once I know more…  Yes I will… Ok bye” Conner hangs up to deal with our neighbours who are in the street, woken up in the early hours of the morning by a siren so close to their home, Conner quickly waves & explains hurriedly to the neighbour we quite often talk too Judy & Vince, they wish me well & Vince asks if they can look after the dogs for us. As Conner climbs in the ambulance behind me he thanks Vince & the paramedic shuts the doors, Conner’s eyes fill with tears as he reaches for my hand & I squeeze it as my uterus contracts again

“Owwww” I scream & he looks at me, his face stricken with pain too, not physical pain as mine but the emotional pain that he might lose me

“Can’t you give her something for the pain?” He snaps at the paramedic

“It’s best that we don’t give her pain relief in case she has to have an emergency caesarean,” An emergency caesarean? It’s too soon!

“I can’t have the babies… Owwww” I can barely open my eyes from the pain, as the ambulance pulls up in the emergency bay at the hospital, people in scrubs come running out, I see the hospital fluro lights whip past as I am wheeled quickly into an examination room, the paramedics, nurses & doctors are all speaking in what seems like code, only its actually medical jargon I don’t understand. I feel pokes & prods as they start to identify what is wrong with me, they start with a needle stick in my arm & a nurse hangs a bag of clear fluid

“We need an ultrasound & page the on call obstetrician, stat” a doctor pressing on my belly shouts at a nurse who scurries away to the phone, Conner is standing in the corner having being pushed aside by doctors, he is biting his nails, something I have never seen him do before. Moments later another doctor appears by my side, she gently touches my belly & gets the ultrasound ready

“Mrs Reynolds, I’m Dr White, I’m the head obstetrician, can you tell me what happened?”

“I woke up… Owwww” I cry out in pain, Conner steps forward

“She woke up bleeding, less than 30 minutes ago, please is she going to be ok?”

“Who are you?” Doctor White asks

“I’m her husband, please?” She doesn’t really look at him

“How far along is she?”

“She’s 29 weeks, with twins” Doctor White examines the ultrasound, she looks closely at the screen

“Please are the babies ok?” I wince in pain again

“There are two heartbeats Mrs Reynolds, but you have placental abruption which means your placenta has detached, causing the bleeding & the babies are in distress, the only treatment option is immediate delivery via caesarean section”

“It’s too soon” I cry

“If we don’t get them out immediately, you & the babies may not survive. Mrs Reynolds we’ll do everything we can to bring those babies into the world safely today” she squeezes my arm “I’ll see you both in the operating theatre” She looks at us both, walking away, a nurse takes Conner to get him in scrubs as I am wheeled through the hospital to the operating theatre, where people are busy scurrying around getting things ready

“Hi Mrs Reynolds, I’m Doctor Mendel, I’m the anaesthesiologist, you’ll feel a sharp scratch in your hand” he pushes the needle in my hand & I start to loosen up finally being able to stretch out rather than being curled in a ball of pain, Conner & Doctor White enter the room, I can tell they were discussing my pending surgery, Conner is given a chair & sits by my head

“Are you ok baby?” he asks with a look of terror on his face that makes tears run down my cheeks freely “Don’t cry, I’m here” he pats my hair

“I love you Conner” he leans in to kiss me gently on the lips, tears streaming down his face too

“I love you” We stare at each other, crying until Doctor White interrupts us, she’s now dressed in scrubs with her gloved hands in the air

“Are you ok Mrs Reynolds?”

“Please call me Kristie, yes I’m ok”

“Ok Kristie, can you feel what Doctor Mendel is doing?”

“No”

“Great then we’re ready to get these babies out” she smiles warmly & she moves out of my sight. I make eye contact with Conner, he is stroking my hair, I can hear the doctors & nurses talking but it’s just white noise at this point. Within a few minutes, I hear my first baby cry “It’s a boy!” Doctor White announces, Conner & I start crying more

“Is he ok?” Conner asks looking over the sheet blocking my view

“Yes, he is just getting looked at by the paediatrician” It doesn’t take too long before I hear the cries of the next baby “It’s a girl” I let out a laugh that is also a little cry “She’s doing fine too Kristie” I hear both babies making crying noises, I want to touch them, to see them but they are so early I know they will be monitored carefully. We haven’t even had time to think of names for these little babies, we had always ended up in a fight.

Doctor White turns back to me & I sense some urgency in her actions to close up my incisions “I need suction” there is definite concern in her voice when she snap at the nurse

“What’s going on?” Conner snaps, standing up to look at what is going on

“Nurse, can you please escort Mr Reynolds to the neonatal unit with the babies?” the nurse moves to take Conner from the room

“I’m not fucking going anywhere” I sense there is something not right “tell me what is going on?”

“Nurse!” Doctor White shouts as the nurse standing by Conner, she jumps, startled but unsure she’ll be able to man handle my distraught husband, I know there is something wrong with me & he needs to go with the babies

“Conner, please go check on the babies, they need their daddy” He stands up abruptly, tears streaming down our faces “Take care of them no matter what”

“Fuck” he runs his fingers through his hair, tugging on the ends, he leans down to kiss me deeply then he walks a few steps away from my he turns “Do whatever you have to do save her” he shouts as he points back at the doctor while he gets pushed out the room, threatening her, but more like a plea. Doctor White barely notices as there is a commotion with the nurses & I feel hazy

“I can’t stop the bleeding…”

It’s the last thing I remember…

***

“She’ll be ok Conner, she’s strong” I vaguely hear my mum’s voice outside my room with Conner

“How will I tell her…” My mind drifts back to sleep…

***

“Why won’t she wake up?” I hear the strain in Conner’s voice, I feel his hand in mine, I try to reassuringly squeeze his hand but mine won’t work

“She’s been through a lot Conner, the doctors say she is ok & will wake up soon” My sister is holding my other hand, I try to squeeze her hand too, but I drift back to sleep…

***

It’s silent in my room when I wake up & am able to open my eyes, I look around adjusting to my surroundings, there is a glow of the light above my head for the nurses during the night, I try to pull myself up the bed so I am more comfortable, I startle Conner awake from his make-shift bed the hospital has provided to him

“Kristie” He rushes over to my bed, standing over me, he takes my hand & he bends down to kiss me gently on my lips “Thank fuck you’re awake, it’s been killing me” I chuckle but it hurts, I wince “Are you in pain? I’ll get the nurse”

“Water” is all I can say as he presses the button for the nurse & he turns to pour me a glass of water, holding the cup & straw up to my lips, I drink the entire cup & he refills it bring it back to give me more, I take a sip & smile “You had me so worried baby, I’ve never been more scared in all my life”

“The babies?” he smiles squeezing my hand

“They are both doing well, they are in neo natal at the moment, we all visit them every day” he smiles fondly, picking up a photo that someone printed, they are in the same crib & are so tiny “The doctors are trying co-bedding with them & their stats improved the second they were together” a tear runs down my cheek, there is so much love in his voice for our babies

“How long was I asleep?” The nurse walks in

“Two days” Really, was that all?

“How are you feeling Mrs Reynolds?”

“Please call me Kristie, I’m feeling ok, a little sore”

“I’ll just check your incision” she pulls the blanket back & looks at my abdomen “That looks good, how’s the pain on a scale of one to ten?”

“Six maybe” she nods, noting on my chart

“I’ll get the doctor & something for the pain.” Conner sits down in the chair pulling it as close as he can to the bed as he can, I suspect he’d pull me on his lap if he was allowed. Doctor White arrives shortly after the nurse gives me some pain medication

“Hello Kristie, how are you feeling?”

“Just a little sore” she looks at my chart

“That’s to be expected” She puts my chart on my legs & asks to look at my incision too, she presses around gently “So Kristie while everything went well with the birth of the babies, who are adorable by the way” smiling, she looks at Conner & he takes my hand putting it to his lips “There was a slight complication after the delivery, there was a lot of bleeding, I couldn’t stop it” Conner bows his head breathing deeper onto my hand, she pauses as if she doesn’t want to tell me something. She takes a deep breath “I had to perform a hysterectomy” Whatthefuck! A hysterectomy! Her face is pained, as an obstetrician & a woman, she knows the importance of a uterus “Of course I did not make this decision hastily, it was the only way to control the bleeding & save your life” Conner squeezes my hand, I look at him, he has a distressed look on his face, I look back at the doctor who is obviously also distressed with this news.

“Thank you Doctor White, I appreciate your help” she reaches in her pocket “I know you made the right decision”

“I have some literature for you to read if you need some support, but with two beautiful babies doing so well in the NICU & this supportive man, I hope that you can tolerate this news”

“It’s just a shock, that’s all. I will be ok, I’m sure.” I smile reassuring her that I will be fine, in time “When can I see my babies?”

“I’d like you up & walking around as soon as tomorrow morning, so get some rest tonight” her pager beeps “I’m on call, babies to be delivered, I’ll pop back in the morning then we’ll get you up & about.” She smiles kindly walking out of my room.

“I don’t know how I feel about that news”

“I know me either. I was so scared to tell you” he rubs my hand on his cheek

“I didn’t know if I even wanted kids at all Conner, now I know I can’t have any more I suddenly want more” we chuckle sadly

“Well after what I’ve been through the last few days, even if they hadn’t done a hysterectomy, I was never going to get you pregnant again” I smile as his beautiful pained face “Don’t laugh at me, I was so scared, they kicked me out of the theatre & I couldn’t see what was happening, no one would tell me what was happening either, I was never going to go through that again” he speaks so fast I barely caught it all “Then I thought of the babies who needed me too, I was so torn” he pauses for the longest time “I finally understand how my father felt”

“Oh Conner, he didn’t have to choose & neither do you” I lean as far as I can without hurting my abdomen to kiss him, Conner stands up to kiss me

“I know baby” I yawn leaning back into the uncomfortable hospital bed “Sleep now” I feel the pain medication start to work & make me sleepy, I fall back to sleep.

***

Conner is not in his make-shift bed when I wake up, my mum is sitting in the chair reading a magazine

“Hi Mum” she drops the magazine, jumping up to stoke my hair & kiss my forehead

“Kristie, you had us all so worried. Poor Conner I don’t think he’s slept” She laughs “How are you? Did you speak to the doctor?

“I’m ok, really, Doctor White talked to me last night, it sucks but I’m going to be ok with it once it sinks in, you know” she nods knowing that is must be difficult for me, tears well in both our eyes

“We need names for those babies!” Mum claps her hands trying to lighten the mood. Conner & I had so many little arguments about the baby names that we had given up, we hadn’t even found out what sexes we were having yet knowing that we still had time, even my baby shower wasn’t for another three weeks.

“I know, jeez, I thought I would have more time”

“You’ll think that for the rest of your life now you have children darling” I laugh, Conner walks back into the room with his breakfast, it looks like he’s showered at least today, yesterday he’d looked like death warmed up, unshaved & unclean

“Morning Baby Cakes” He kisses my forehead too as Doctor White comes in with a nurse.

“Are you ready to see your babies Krisite?” Doctor White asks cheerfully, I nod rapidly “Let me check your wound first then we’ll get you up & in a wheelchair, you can’t walk that far just yet” She’s seemingly happy with the wound & starts to help me up out of bed, Conner gets in the way trying to help so the nurse just allows him to help me. He wheels me up to the neo natal unit with my mum & Doctor White by my side, there aren’t many babies in the room, I see two tiny infants in the same crib & Conner pushes me up close so I can look inside. They are so tiny, I realise I know nothing about them

“How much did they weigh? What time were they born? How long were they?…” Mum & Doctor White chuckle

“Whoa, one question at a time” Doctor White picks up their charts “Baby Boy Reynolds was born at 3:22am weighing 2lb 9oz & was 35cm long. Baby Girl Reynolds was born at 3:26am, weighing 2lb 3oz & she was 33cm. Both were quite a good size for 29 week twins”

“Can I touch them?” Doctor White calls over a nurse

“I’ll see you tomorrow to check on you Kristie & hopefully you can go home soon” She rubs my shoulder & she leaves. The nurse opens the little hand hole & allows me to put my hand into the crib to touch my babies for the first time since they were living inside me. I start crying, silent tears of joy, my mum joins in too, their skin is so soft & warm, they are wearing only nappies & a hospital hat

“Can I touch them too?” She asks, I look puzzled, I know she’s been up here before, why hasn’t she touched them yet? “We decided to wait until you had held them, so only Conner & the staff have been handling them until you were able to see them” I cry some more, that is so sweet!

“Thank you & of course, they want to meet their Nanna” she wipes her tears & gently put her hand in to stroke Baby Boy Reynolds arm, I snap about 20 photos of them on my smartphone

“They need names” I look over at Conner, he nods

“I want whatever you want, both names you picked out are perfect”

“Don’t you want to name one at least?” I ask as he bends down to kiss my forehead, stroking my hair

“No baby” I look up at him, my eyes glistening.

“Mum, I want you to meet our babies Hudson Jack Reynolds & Addison Molly Reynolds”


Fleaz – new segment

“So I’ve got a little surprise for you baby” Conner holds the front door as he opens it turning to face me

“What is it?” he leads me to the downstairs bedrooms. When we found out we were having twins we decided that they would have their own bedroom but we would only have one change table which would go in one of their rooms, I was planning on finding out what we were having so we’d painted the walls a warm grey colour & were going to add coloured accents later. He led me into the first room, which had pink wooden letters which spelled out Addison on the door. He’s done the nursery’s! I quickly stand on tippy toes & hug him tight, which pulls on my stiches, I wince

“Did I hurt you baby?” Conner pulls away as I hold my lower belly, I chuckle

“I hugged you & you’re worried you hurt me?” he nods, not knowing what to say, I laugh more, which hurts more

“Stop laughing, you’re supposed to be taking it easy” He shows me Hudson’s room where which is basically the same but in blue with letters on the door for his name too. He’d put together the white cribs, white change table & set up the pusher, he’d found the tree stickers that I was planning on putting up & he stuck them to the walls “I’ve also brought all your stuff downstairs to the guest room until you can manage the stairs”

“Conner, I can walk up the stairs” I pout, he grins “But thank you, that is very thoughtful”

“Your sister has been here cleaning while we’ve been gone”

“What happened to my expensive sheets?”

“I threw them out, but Samantha bought new ones which are on the bed upstairs. I had someone come & professionally clean the bed for you”

“I can’t wait till the babies come home”

“Neither can I baby, everything will be perfect”

Sorry readers that is the last of the fiction!!

#IBD4U

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