Guest Blogger: Sex On The Beach

Another one from my guest blogger & fellow blogger. Anyone remember MIA Undies? Kinda seems like I’m not 100% alone, except maybe for the loosing my undies part. Hahaha.

Sand paper condom! Oh god, that brings back memories.

The link to her new FB page to follow her is  – https://m.facebook.com/The-Secret-Diary-of-a-She-Wolf-421003095109070/?ref=bookmarks

Thanks again for sharing. This is exactly why I started blogging. So I know I am not alone!

#IBD4U

Boyfriend #2

I haven’t ever really talked a lot about my one & only real relationship that I’ve had with Boyfriend. So I’ll give you a little insight to what our relationship was (over a few blog posts – spoiler alert – no cliff hangers on these ones, because you already know we broke up!) & there are some things about our relationship that may help you understand why I maybe like I am, or maybe it’ll just confuse you more.

Boyfriend & I met at work, which was a supermarket, I was probably around 21 at the time, him a couple of years older. He was the new night fill manager & I had worked at the store for a few years & was recently promoted to the assistant deli manager. When he started, he had a girlfriend but I thought he was cute. Our paths always crossed on nights out with work people – which was quite often being in our early 20’s, plus we went to Big Day Out (the festival that is no longer) & always chatted at work.

After he broke up with his girlfriend, we were both given the opportunity to do a in-house retail management course, which meant that we studied together once a week with other employees from the company. I hoped to sit next to him because I knew him but still didn’t think there was anything there.

We swapped numbers to so we could contact each other about the course, I remember being in Sydney with my sister when he first start talking to me via text asking me a really dumb question (which I find out later was just a way to start the conversation with me). We text a bit – this was also when texting wasn’t unlimited so we didn’t just text all day, however it was a lot, especially at 30 cents a pop!

I remember feeling like a teenager when I was out one evening with friends, I think at the Christmas carols in the park when he was messaging me. This was before people were always looking at their phones & had them on silent, so it kept beeping, my friend snatched my phone off me & started replying for me. How mortifying!

Around this time too, I realised when I was on late nights, every time he would come to the deli to get his hot dinner & I surprised myself by always giving him a cheaper price on all the left over crap that was in the hot food counter.

I went to Fiji with a friend & met Swiss, then when I came back, all the work people went out one weekend & I remember being really drunk & telling him how I didn’t want a boyfriend & I was happy being a single 22 year old. We end up back at his house, I’m not sure how or why I went to his place at Magill, miles away from where I live with my parents. Nothing happened, we both just feel asleep on separate couches.

The following weekend, I’m at a family event. I am tipsy & am thinking of him. I send him a text “I’ve got the hiccups” next minute I have texted him the address of my uncles & he comes to pick me up. My aunty decides that she’s going to go talk to him in the driveway, again I am mortified, this guy is going to be scared off by my family! We go to his place, then to a bar for some drinks (like I need any) then back to his house. This is where he kisses me. I have sex with him on the first official date (just him & I), but I figure that we’ve been friends for ages & basically been on heaps of dates, have been messaging back & forth. I realise that I really like him & I hope that I’m not just a root for him.

Later I asked Boyfriend when he started to like me, because I wanted to know who liked who first. He said he started to like me after Big Day Out (we all went as a group) but I didn’t start thinking about him until we were doing that course together in the middle of the year. I guess it is feasible that a guy would like me before I liked him!

#IBD4U

Bowie

Sometimes there are guys out there that are honest about what they want & I respect & thank them for that because then I can make the decision about what you want to do, rather than them stringing me along. When this guy said he just wanted casual hook ups, I explained I’d just got out of something like that & wasn’t interested in getting back into that because I feel like I barely made it out of that one alive, with my dignity intact.

Anyway he keeps chatting to me after the first chat which I’ll give him points for that – I always struggle to be the first to message. So one night I was planning a date with a guy but he bailed (Story to come), Bowie starts chatting to me online & says that he thinks it’s bullshit why the other guy cancelled. I don’t know if it’s to make me feel shit so I’ll sleep with him or what but I had told my friend that I would go to a gig with her because I had nothing else to do plus she had a spare ticket & while chatting to this guy he says that he might come too. I don’t think too much of it, many guys say that sort of stuff all the time. I so tell my friend how this guy was perhaps going to come to tonight, but we just enjoy ourselves.

Two bottles of wine down, we’re having a great night, my friend goes to the toilet & I stay in the main room, she comes back & says that there’s a band in the other area & this gig was depressing her so we walk into the other room. A guy & her point at each other & start laughing, I have no idea what is going on but then I realise it’s Bowie! He realises who I am & he tells me that my friend had lent him $1 when he was at the smoke machine that wouldn’t take his $20 note. What are the odds?

We talk for a while, I have no idea what about but when his friend rocks up we end up hanging out together & all go back into the he main room (we snuck them in as they didn’t have tickets!) We kiss on the dance floor, I mean he’s there so I may as well. Might not be a lasting relationship but at least it’ll get Milky out of my head!

At the end of the night, I don’t really remember a lot, three bottles of wine & I am quite drunk, we’re sitting outside & he gives me his jacket to wear, even though I have a little jumper to put on, but somehow (I don’t know the conversation) but he gets in the car with us & comes back to my place for the night. I don’t really remember a lot which is probably not good, but we had crazy wild drunk sex & fell asleep, with the covers everywhere.

He wakes up early, I think I’m still drunk but I did say I’d drop him home, he says to drop him at a train station but I just can’t do that, I’ve had similar happen to me (remember Travel Agent?!) & it sucks, but then I remember his house is about an hour or more from mine. We talk easily on the way to his house, it’s not awkward which is nice, he kisses me quickly goodbye when he gets out the car & I haven’t heard from him since, yet he hasn’t deleted me from the app. But we were clear about what it was so that’s the good thing. I don’t have to wonder the stupid range of questions that seem to plague me after I meet someone new:

“Does he like me?”

“Will he call me?”

“Will I see/hear from him again?”

“Am I good in bed?”

Bowie

The next week he messages me for a bit & I tell him that I don’t remember much, he tries to tell me that we didn’t do anything, which I know is a lie, so he tells me the truth what he remembers & what he liked. He asks me what I liked & what I would get him to do to me if I was there. He tells me that makes him hard. We talk a little more that day but a few days later when I log on to the site, I see that he’s deleted me. I mean, what the fuck DUDE! I know we weren’t looking for the same thing but my god, what is wrong with these people?

#IBD4U

Woody

Reactivating my account, I get more likes than I ever have before, I chat to an electrician guy who asks if I’m free to catch up. He looks alright on his profile & we’ve chatted a fair bit so I think why not, what could it hurt. If worse comes to worse, then it’s just a good story for my blog!

He suggests the worst local pub near my house to catch up & I immediately say no & suggest one that has just been done up, so we decide to meet there. I walk in & don’t see him straight away so I go to the bar to get a wine so I turn around he’s at the other end of the bar so I walk up to him & say hello. He’s pretty much like his pictures but in real life he reminds me so much of Cruise & I am kinda not really attracted to him.

The drink goes well, I talk a lot which is what I do when they are quiet & I make him laugh a lot but he doesn’t really make me laugh at all. It’s easy for me when I don’t find them that attractive to be the person I am, not the shy person that guys I like see which is probably why the men I don’t like get to see the real me & actually want to see me again.

We have a couple of drinks but it’s so windy & cold that we decide to go, he walks me halfway to my car & asks if I want to catch up again, which I say yes, then he says he’ll hug me goodbye & I kinda do an awkward kiss on the cheek at the same time, not really thinking & so we kinda leave awkwardly as I didn’t actually kiss his cheek. SUPER!

I get home & minutes later there is a message on the app from him saying hey cutie, thanks for tonight, here is my number, hope we can catch up again. Why when things go ok with a guy, do I start thinking about Milky? We weren’t ever a coupe for fuck sake, he didn’t like me, he was short & lied about his age, why would I want to be with that? But I also thought about the Seacliff guy, I was actually really interested in him.

Woody

So I don’t want to lead on this guy by messaging him but I also don’t want to give up on something that could be good just because I like someone else who doesn’t like me at all. But I message him & a few weeks later after about 10 texts in total we arrange another date, coffee on a Saturday afternoon & possibly a walk.

We catch up for a coffee, he arrives & buys the coffees – Well hot choc for me as I don’t like coffee, we chat for a bit, it’s a little awkward & hasn’t gotten any better to be honest, there are a few silences which make me uncomfortable, when he finally says that the sun is in his eyes, we get up less than an hour later to go. We have an awkward goodbye & he says we should catch up again, I say the usual yeah, but don’t really mean it. I think he gets it too because I haven’t heard from him.

#IBD4U

Guest Blogger: The Animal #2

Well I don’t know about you… But I’ve been waiting The Animal to call!

I wonder what will happen, this woman (or animal) is a little out there! Even by my standards!

The Animal #2

So we left this at The Animal going to call me, after her antics, wasn’t quite sure I wanted the call!
Yet, I did like this girl… Fit, intelligent, reasonably good sense of humor… maybe it could work? Even with the “Outdoor” escapade desires!

Anyway, so two days later I get a call…
The usual ‘Hi how are you?’ etc… Then the apology for going off her nut.

Apology accepted.

Would you like to come over, I’ll cook dinner and we’ll have a wine or two?

Yeah, why not!
In to the city, meet at apartment foyer, kisses, cuddles, all the nice stuff.
Up we go. Extremely nice dinner with Salmon and healthy stuff we are both in too.
White wine to start, followed by a lovely Pinot from the Adelaide Hills… Going well. No signs of the crazy side coming!
Discussion had of the antics, plus the loss of plot!! All good, stress from work and ex can do that to you (Right? We have all been there!!)

So after a wine or 3, the glass keeps getting filled… At this point very aware I can’t drink too much more, have to drive.
“No, you can stay here” she says…

Ok, well I guess we have done the deed already, so what is that going to hurt?

More wine…
Turns to romance…
Then fun in the kitchen…. (Kitchen is fun by the way… Just saying… Sturdy bench???? You get the picture…)

“Let’s move to the bedroom “

Not going to say no at this point, as there are things that have to be dealt with…
Didn’t think about the last time with a tree branch… Surely this will be normal…
WRONG!

So to keep condensed and not go into all the gory details, just before we end up completely naked, she asks
“Have you ever been tied up, and had sex with a Tiger?”
Being a lad from way out of the city, sheepishly reply “Nope”
Then notice the dog like collars on bed head….
“Would you like to?”

There’s alarm bells going on here already, yet the little head was talking not the big head… Mmmmm…. Fuck it, only live once hey….

So strapped in….
Rather different not being control…

This is the part where the nickname comes…. May not seem nuts for others, yet my naive country upbringing comes out here…

She starts to growl, then scratch and claw at my chest…. And very close to drawing blood…
And the mind is going ”WTF!!!!!!!”
At this point… Yep, have to say I’m not enjoying this and the more I bucked, the more she seemed to be getting off…

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Then thought, Na… I’m done with this… I have to say so….
But before I could she says
“You’ve gone limp”

Yep… It happened….

“Yeah well, not sure having sex with a Tiger was on my agenda this evening”

Boom! Released the “Animal”

Still tied up, out came a horse whip…
Laying completely starkers, I’m thinking ‘Holy shit!!’
“What the hell are you going to do with that?”

“I’m going to punish you and “him” for spoiling my fun”

Now this is when I lost it and pretty sure most of the CBD heard me…
I went off my tree ”Get me the fuck out of this shit!”
“Really?” Was her reply
“Fuck yes… NOW!”

With that, and a very forlornly face, she undid the collars….
Out of bed like a jackrabbit, with the “Animal “ quickly behind trying to apologise for being so forward…
Clothes gathered, put on, completely ignoring every single word…
Dressed and bolted…
No parting words from me except this… ”Animal, please, next guy you want to do this with, take it easy on him”

Never heard from her again…

Did run into her going up Lofty once, with the new guy. Ignored each other. One good thing though, as I was coming down and she was on way up… Fuck did I run faster!!!

And with that Ladies and Gents, that’s when I ceased to use anything online for dating…
And also pretty much lost interest in any sort of meet and greets…
Sit back these days and smile a little about this, as in “Holy shit I find myself in some pickles”
Not willing to do find myself in those situations again. However, still believe the fairytale exists… Think everybody should…
Moral of the story…. Enjoy your time being single, yet if you don’t like it, never accept anything that is less than your standards…
If it doesn’t fit with who you are, say so. Be honest. Honesty is better than silence.

I am really lost for words with this one! But thanks to my reader for being brave & sharing with not only me, but with all of you!

#IBD4U

Seacliff

Have I not learnt from reactivating my closed accounts on stupid online dating sties? Well clearly not because I reactivate an account & meet someone that I think is really cute, we chat & we end up chatting for ages. We talk about quite a lot, never getting dirty, which at this point in my dating life is refreshing. He tells me straight away that he had kids, that he has for a week on & week off, tomorrow night would be his last kid free night for the week.

We talk some more, even though I am dying to go to sleep & he says that he can tell I’m not crazy & even though it’s really soon, he wants to meet me tomorrow night for a drink. I agree that it’s fast but I end up saying yes because it’s better to meet them quickly than to have it go on for weeks & then get semi attached & them meet & find out they are a tool.

So we arrange to meet the next night for a drink at a bar. Why are these the days that I get stuck in the office doing really important work until 6:00 pm, when I said I would be there at 7:00 pm, I look like crap so have to go home & change, fix my make up & get back to the pub! But somehow I made it but was a few minutes late. He did message me a few minutes to 7:00 pm & said he was at the bar, I messaged back & said I was just a few minutes away.

The conversation flows pretty easily about all sorts of topics, dating stories (I share some of mine – we’d be there all day if I shared everything!) & he tells me a lot about his exes & kids, which kinda sets my mind at ease. (As the only reason I don’t like to date men with kids is because I don’t want to have to deal with the crazy exs.) We have a couple of drinks & the place clears out so we decide to leave.

I really hate this part, after a date like this, where is wasn’t amazing (like everyone else’s dates I hear about. ‘Oh we talked for hours & we have been inseparable since’ –Oh give me a break!) Anyway the date went well, nothing over the top but you can’t really work out if he likes you, you think he looks nice & has been quite funny, yet who knows what he thinks. So you walk out the car park, I point to my car, knowing that last drink I went out for where the guy (Wine-o) just said bye & walked off, so I was getting a similar vibe from this guy, so I say it was nice to meet you, while getting my keys out my purse & he launches at me kissing me, I start kissing him back instantly. Oh how nice it is to be kissed, I haven’t been kissed since Milky, even though I’ve been on a dates, so I just lean into it, really enjoying that type of kiss where you know isn’t going to lead directly to sex.

We kiss in the car park for about 5 minutes before he pushes me up against my car, we start running our hands over each other when he says “Am I the only one that’s thinking it?” I ask what? He says “that I want to start ripping clothes off” I giggle saying not here, then kiss him but add, “yeah I’m thinking it too.” He laughs & says that “you could of led with that” but I say I thought it was pretty obvious. We continue kissing before a couple of cars come into the carpark so he says we should stop but will talk to me soon, we say good bye & go our separate ways.

I don’t hear from him for a couple of days, I assume because he’s got his kids. I know he’s got Friday off so my friend says I should message him first, maybe he doesn’t think I’m interested because of the ripping off clothes incident that will forever be burnt in my memory of the wrong thing to say… So I message him hoping he has a good day off & fun with the kids, thanks for meeting me the other night I had fun, I get a response a full work day later saying he had fun with the kids & that he’s getting sick, I say I hope he feels better soon & that’s been it. I know he’s got the kids till next week so I just leave the ball I his court!

Seacliff

He deletes me from the app a few weeks later. No love lost but it’s always baffling to think that he wanted to rip my clothes off one night, yet he deletes me a few weeks later, after barely talking to me. I’m sure that’s not about me. Of course people will say that he was dating multiple people, which is fine, I get that, I’m not that naive, I am dating a few people too but I can’t believe that EVERY single guy is choosing someone else over me EVERY time, especially when he says when we’re chatting that he’s never gotten along with someone so well!

#IBD4U

We’ve Fucked Before

Having deleted my accounts several times, I forget who I’ve chatted to in the past. Nicknames look familiar but you never know if they’ve deleted their accounts & changed their nicknames as often as I do. So there comes a time in little ol Adelaide when you start chatting to someone that you start to feel a little connection with, think might be really cool then they start to talk dirty to you. I reply saying that I don’t want to fuck random guys anymore, I’m looking for more. Expecting to be ignored & him stop talking to me, so I’m surprised when the little icon comes up to say that he’s typing. I wait to see what line this dude has, like I haven’t heard every line in the book yet… But I was not expecting him to say ‘We’ve fucked before!’

FUCKING HELL, how slutty can I be not to remember someone I’ve slept with? I start to go through my mental list of men I’ve slept with & cannot remember this guy, I ask him when & he says last year. That doesn’t help, that was about the time I was just about screwing a different guy each week. I ask why we never saw each other again. He says that I went away for work & he got busy, which is fair enough, I do travel a bit for work but I think why wouldn’t he message me when he wasn’t busy. I also ask him what his name is again & he gives me a different name to when we first started chatting. Who the fuck is this?!

So he asks if we can catch up that Friday night, he wants to have a shower with me so I figure, it’s not going to be another notch on my bedpost that maybe I could meet up with this guy. Clearly our first meeting wasn’t significant that I didn’t have a story about him or even remember it so it couldn’t have been that bad, right? I give him my number, which I NEVER do, I always ask for theirs, I thought this might help the previous text messages in my phone from him & piece together the evening we caught up. He never texts me but later than night on the dating app, he starts talking to me, I’m like what are you doing dude. He asks to come over after the gym in the morning when I have my shower, I say sure, text me. He doesn’t so I don’t bother with him anymore. I end up going away for work again & he chats to me so many times on the app but never texts me.

Somehow, we exchange details to get off the dating app and onto a different chat app, where he sends me dick pics (Yaye – Not.) & I question him more about when we caught up. He doesn’t seem to have a lot of info so I go though my phone & find text messages that I think might be his, then it all comes together… Oh god!

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The night I slept with him, I went out on a winery tour all day with my friend, I was drunk & trying to get Hockey Puck to come over again, but of course he was playing his ‘I’m sick’ game. So I cracked the shits with him & told him to fuck me or fuck off. I got online & as I’d been talking to this guy, we text & he came over as I was getting dropped off. I still don’t really remember the sex with him but he does tell me that we talked a little, kissed then I sucked his cock, we had sex but then he was embarrassed because he came so quickly, so he didn’t want to see me again. I say that there are so many more reactions that he could have had besides getting up & leaving. He doesn’t ask me what I mean, but for the regular readers, he could of stayed a little longer so I didn’t feel like a whore, he could have spent some time on me being that I didn’t cum during our short sexcapade, he could of waited till he was ready to have sex again & tried to go a bit longer than the first time. He didn’t need to get up & leave making me feel cheap.

Now that I think about it, do I really want to catch up with this guy again?

#IBD4U

Another Irish

Well this Irish guy really should have made me feel worse than I did afterwards. I was actually glad that I had a few men texting me & chatting to online so that when one was gone, there was another to pick up the slack, so to speak!

We text a lot during the night about what I’m going to wear – which wasn’t anything too exciting. I figure if you want the best of me, then you need to treat me better than a ONS (one night stand). We also talk about what we are going to do when he gets to my house, the texting gets a little sexy.

He rocks up to my house, pushed me against the wall & kisses me hard & sexy, that I get turned on quickly, I lead him to the bedroom, he pushes me on the bed, takes off just my jeans, pulls down his pants & boxers, I can see how hard he is. He lays down next to me, kissing me passionately & running his hand up my leg before he says “I can’t do this” What? “‘Are you serious?” I ask. He says yes, but kisses me again but he stops & says “No I really can’t do this” OMG. “Really?” I ask & he said really & stood up to put on his boxers & pants. I pull on my jeans, thinking that this can’t really be happening. But he leaves my room, I walk him to the front door & he actually leaves.

This guy drove about an hour, just to kiss me for 5 minutes, gets hard & turns me on but then ‘can’t do it’? What is that about? Perhaps his girlfriend cheated on him so he thought he would be able to cheat on her but when he got here to do it, he couldn’t go through with it? or perhaps he wanted a one night stand & then couldn’t do it or wanted to cheat but decides that he can’t. I of course think it’s me, I’m ugly, I’m fat, I’m a bad kisser, all sorts of bad thoughts about myself.

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I actually think he added me again about six months later, after things ended with Milky & we were chatting quite a bit, he was of course getting sexual in his chat when I finally just said, I am not looking for anything casual, FWB (Friends with benefits) or a hook up, he said it didn’t have to be a one night thing, but I just said I’m looking for something different & deleted him. Once I thought it was the guy who came to my house then left, I figured that I didn’t need to go there again!

DELETE< DELETE< DELETE!

#IBD4U

Guest Blogger: The One That Got Away

Another fabulous reader & also a fellow blogger has shared a few stories with me & allowed me to share some with you. This one almost made me cry (& I never cry!) – I have had a similar experience, you are all yet to read about! #WatchThisSpace!

OMG, tell me that didn’t tug at your heart string! Thanks Miss Slut for sharing.

#IBD4U

Hockey Puck #3

Yeah this guy is still hanging around since the day I ended things with Milky. He texts me all the time, tells me how much he wants me, we try to set up a time to catch up but we never seem to get the time to catch up yet some how we sext a bit, I get sucked in it & always end up really turned on. It’s totally not what usually happens when someone sexts me, I usually think it’s a bit hilarious. But with Hockey Puck I seem to get caught up in it & actually really enjoy it. He seems to write exactly what I have pictured in my fantasies (even though he only knows a few tidbits) but he some how gets me to reciprocate.

One day while working away he said he wanted to get my panties wet while I was at work (I hate the word panties!) I was sitting in a board room, reading his texts while listening to someone babble on, but he was saying what he wanted to do to me under the table & I swear to god that I could of cum, if the meeting didn’t finish. I ended up going back to the hotel immediately (even though I didn’t have the time) & made him text me sexy things until I did cum. I didn’t think I had many firsts left regarding sex but it was the first time I was that wet from texts.

I ask him on the way home from my work trip if he wants to catch up this weekend, he says ‘we’ll make it happen’ I text him a few times on the Friday but then never hear from him again, until a week later on the Sunday saying how much he wants me. I respond with is ‘I am having déjà vu?’ I explain to his what that we’ve been here before, a few times, I’m getting over it, so he asks what I’m doing right now, (but I’ve also seen him come up on my dating profile & he’s looking for British girls as he’s moving to the UK in 2016.) he says he’s not moving for a while but I say that I can’t this weekend & I’m kinda getting over it.

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We’ve had sex once & this has now been going on for almost two months with absolutely nothing but text messages, I just think that what is the point… I’m deciding to leave this one alone! Or will I? I don’t know, I say I am, but stay tuned because with me you never know what I might do since I’m a masochist, I can only assume that I will be quite happy to go back for more if he continues to text me. However I think that’s probably the last I will hear from this one, his cat is now out of the bag – him moving to the UK – & I have told him several times that I am not looking for anything casual now, I want more than that now.

UPDATE: He came up recently as a friend I may know on FB. I don’t know how but he did. I looked at his profile pic, with a chick. Assuming his girlfriend, while I’m still single. Lovely…

#IBD4U

Milky #5

Well where do I start with this one, the one that doesn’t want me, but apparently doesn’t want me to have anyone else.

So Easter is not the last I hear from him, he texts me before I go on a date with Too Eager less than two weeks later, again just as I start to forget about him, he texts to say ‘Guess who I got matched with online haha’ Um, WTF! Why would he text me to tell me that? What is wrong with this guy? What is the point of that text. I have no idea what to write back so I just say ‘oh yeah, who? Someone awesome I bet!’ the next day he responds ‘haha well I’m sure that they would say that they’re awesome lol’ Double WTF? I don’t respond for ages. I don’t know what to say to him. I just want him to fuck off now, I mean any feelings I thought I had for this guy are rapidly evaporating.

I do have one thing to thank Milky for & that is how much he opened my eyes to a different sexual world. We didn’t really do anything majorly kinky & I would of liked to try more with him but it’s really made me more aware of myself & more confident (perhaps), sex since him has been a lot better than before him, that’s for sure.

A friend said to me that to you can’t do the casual thing for more than three months, that’s usually when you start having feelings for someone. She’s probably right, I really made it about three months before I actually like him & that’s about when we didn’t see each other as much & I had to say something to him about what we were doing.

I end up writing back to Milky, putting it out there that I like him but also saying fuck off. I ask ‘why do you keep texting me Milky? You know I really like you & while you rank fairly high for the best sex I’ve had, I just can’t do it anymore. The casual thing was ok for a while but now we want different things. I want exclusivity, you don’t. I think we need to just leave it at that’

While I secretly hope that it’s not the end of him, (God only know why I am think I am attracted to him!) but I am also not holding my breath as I haven’t heard back from him, so I hope that he gets the message & I can move on, find someone else who is that good in bed but actually likes me.

Is it that I am so desperate for a bit of affection that I just attach to anyone who shows the slightest bit of interest in me? Do I actually really like this guy or is it just that he kept coming back for more? I am starting to get concerned that the reason all these guys get to hurt me is because I am not actually looking for someone I like, I am looking for someone that likes me. Now that’s a scary thought!

#IBD4U

Bonus Post: Question Time!

The question I am get the most is actually about me or who I am. I don’t want give away too much as I am barely dateable as it is… Imagine if men knew I was blogging about them!

So I found some questions on a website, which I thought I would answer for you all, gives you a little insight, but still keeps my anonymity.

  • Any upcoming travel plans?
    • Kangaroo Island (Work then a weekend away) – Jan 2019
    • Nepal & India – Oct 2019
  • What brought you here?
    • My crazy dating life!
  • When you’re not working, how do you like to spend your time?
    • Gym
    • Writing about the dates I’ve been on!
  • What are you reading currently?
    • Other dating blogs
  • What’s the first concert you attended?
    • 5ive – As in “Five bad boys with the power to rock you, blow your mind so you gotta get into, 5, 4, 3, 2, lets do it!”
  • Where do you most hope to visit?
    • Scandanavia & MexicoGet to know me
  • What’s your favourite book?
    • A summer to die
  • What’s your favourite 90’s show?
    • Friends or Sex & The City
  • What’s your dream job?
    • If I could sing, I’d be a singer.
  • What’s your favourite word?
    • Dude
  • What was your first job?
    • Service Deli Chick
  • What was the worst job you’ve ever had?
    • The ‘save’ call centre for a telco. I had no idea how to save customers when they wanted to cancel!
  • What is your most-used emoji?
    • 🤔
  • What was your favourite subject in school?
    • English or Drama
  • If you had to eat one thing for every meal going forward, what would you eat?
    • Cheezels
  • If someone were to play you in a movie, who would you want it to be?
    • Reese Witherspoon (apparently we look similar… I wish!)
  • What’s one thing about you that surprises people?
    • Their ability to stay in an unhappy relationship
  • Who, or what, was your biggest teacher?
    • An ex-partner (stories to come).
  • What was something you’ve done that made you feel extreme happiness?
    • Fell in love
  • What qualities do you value in the people with whom you spend time?
    • Honesty & sense of humor
  • For what would you be famous?
    • This blog? Hahaha.
  • What’s your guilty pleasure?
    • Watching The Bachelor or The Bachelorette or Bachelor in Paradise.
  • Has anything ever happened to you that you could not, and cannot, explain?
    • Why I am still single… Like WTF happened there?
  • For what are you most grateful today?
    • My family & friends
  • If you could have one ‘do over’ in your life, what would you do differently?
    • The relationship with the man I fell in love with, not necessarily to change what happened,  but to feel that again.
  • Of what are you most afraid?
    • Spiders

(Questions stolen from…. https://www.forbes.com/sites/darrahbrustein/2017/11/19/the-55-best-questions-to-ask-to-break-the-ice-and-really-get-to-know-someone/#2f583d1b3ca1)

Anyway, I hope these answers help you get to know me better but feel free to ask any you like!! Obviously my life is an open book, this blog is basically my journal!

#IBD4U

Whats App

I met a guy online that was from Adelaide but living in Melbourne & just here for Christmas holidays. We chat online for a bit before we exchange numbers & start using the Whats App app. He asked to catch up but I said that I might be going to this nightclub reunion thing, he said he wanted to go to that too, it wasn’t till about 8:00pm that night, that my friend & I decided to actually go.

We got into the city about 10:00pm, the club is packed, it’s so hot & it’s so hard to move anywhere, even on the sidelines, not just the dance floor. The whole time Whats App is messaging me, saying that he is coming too, but of course I’m not one to spend the whole night staring at my phone, we’re on the dance floor boogieing away. When I do check my phone, he lets me know that he is there & on the dance floor. I reply where we are, but pretty much every time I do, my friend & I move. I don’t do this on purpose & my friend knows that I am meeting him here, but he also keeps moving rooms as well.

Whats app2

Eventually, I say that I am going to the toilets, my friend waits outside & when I come out she is talking to him. (She told me later that she just asked him if he was looking for me) He hugs me hello, he isn’t really like his pictures, he’s cute but I’m not really attracted to him. We talk for a few minutes & suggest going to the dance floor, but he never comes. We lose him in the crowd or he just doesn’t want to come, I don’t know but it’s the last I see him. He does text me a few times & later lets me know that he’s left the club.

I’m not really sure what it is about me, it was clear that we were just going to hook up (from our original interaction & chats) being he lived interstate, but then they meet me & don’t want too? It’s shortly after this that my casual encounters stop for a little while, I don’t know why it’s so hard to get a guy into bed, I mean I would have thought that a chick telling a guy all she wants from you is sex, you’d be jumping at the chance to do it.

#IBD4U

Guest Blogger: The Animal

My wonderful reader has another story for you… Interesting to have a male perspective on dating.

The Animal

Ok, for those that read “Liza”, this story comes from quite a few months down the track, which in between time “The One” has happened, as has the “Woodwork Booty call weekend”. Happy to share those at some stage in the future.

So, The Animal…
After the One had finished up (didn’t end well obviously), the decision was made to rejoin online.
Having met Liza and the One online, a little bit of trepidation with this, yet stick to rules and criteria:
Well dressed
Attractive
Has a bio

Swipe left on:

  • Filtered with bunny ears
  • Sunsets or coffee mug pics
  • No bio
  • Gym selfies(love the gym, but how about leaving what God gave you until we see each other in flesh?)

Oh and fellas, feedback I have heard is Hi-Vis isn’t sexy (that stuff is keeping you safe at work) either is a gym selfies (compensation)
or pics with your dogs… Just a tip I’ve heard!

Anyway, swiping and swiping, cause following the rules means you wipe out over 70% of profiles…
Ah bang… The Animal… (And I have named her this out of purely how this turns out! Not because she is! A term of endearment! Politically correct and all) looks good, tall, well dressed, attractive and highly educated. Swipe right.

Match.

Great. Start the conversation, you know the usual? Kids, career, interests.
More in depth re: each other’s single journey. Awesome. Interesting lady.
Chatted for about a week.
Let’s meet.
Time made, event in town, going to a comedy show.

Sounds great. Laughs and banter will break the ice.
Few days pass, idle chit chat, nothing significant.
The evening arrives, after spending 45 mins trying to decide which outfit to wear, finally arrive at date.
We have the usual greetings, bonus point is she looks exactly like her photo! There’s a tick!
What the show happens to be a show about dating and sex.

Anyway goes well, walk back to apartment to drop her off. For some reason all my dates end up in a passionate embrace and a snog.
That aside, we make a plan to catch up next day, I like this girls style.
Adelaide Hills, wine tasting, walk. Sounds great. Some romance with wine and food.

10am Sunday morning start, off we trundle to the Hills, I will spare you all the details whilst doing the tour, let’s say was one of those nice dates with good conversation and banter (we all have those yeah?) No red flags as yet. Perhaps only one with reminder occasionally the The Animal has 3 degrees, including one in Psychology. Yeah ok, I get that you’re smart!

Comes to the walk part of date, where you sort of know that there’s definitely going to be some physical touch going to happening… this is punch line… more than you maybe expecting…. and just the beginning!

So a lovely trail is chosen, very secluded, she picked it( still no red flags going off!)
About 15 mins in, well, here comes the kissing etc… A few minutes of that nice, hot and heavy action, I get a little whisper in ear ”I have a fantasy and fetish”
Do you now?
Yep, you guessed it…
Now I consider this for a few seconds, not really my thing in the middle of the bush, beach maybe, bush not so appealing.
Some gentle encouragement from her brings me around to the idea… Off the track a little we head. We all understand it takes a few minutes to get a few things unhitched, time to get to it…
“Oh wait” I whisper…”No can do, no condom”
Within a flash from the clutch comes the little packet! (Thinking here…WOW, did she have this pre planned? Seems a little organised)
Ok, rolled on, ready to go…

“Before you start, there’s something I need you to do” she says

“Yes for sure”

“Grab a small gum tree branch with a few leaves on it”
“Huh!!!???” Completely confuses now…

“I want you to spank me with the branch… On my bum, just a few times before you start”

At this point I’m going WTF, yet stupidly run with it, because, well I now need release myself! Can’t waste it…

Spanking done (and at this stage the red flag has just popped into head big time) Start on the (we know this bit)
Then there’s noise, noise like a mating male Koala, and no it wasn’t me, and it wasn’t coming from the trees either… Definitely in front of me!!!
(Again…WTF is coming to mind)
Was over quickly (thank fuck!) to which she had a very satisfied expression…ok.
A different experience for sure.

“Apologise for the grunting” she says “I’m fascinated by Koalas and how they mate” (How many red flags would you be having by now???!)

All good is my reply, yet completely unnerved at what the hell just happened in some ways….
Walk back to car, a couple of cheeky grins, however internally completely wondering ‘How the hell did I end up doing that! And what’s with the Koala thing?’

animal

As we start to drive back to town, she leans over and says ”I want more”

“More what?”

“More!”

I drive an automatic car, so you don’t really need your left hand… Yes, you guessed it (maybe!), my left left hand was asked to infiltrate the panties on the drive home…
No grunting this time, however earth shattering shrill and OMG, the looks at the stop lights at the bottom of the freeway! If the cars next door couldn’t see, they for sure could hear!

By this stage, I had sunnies on and was trying to pull myself down in the seat like those douche bags do in their beat up old Commodores… Again… WTF… Can I go home now????

Arrive at apartments, walk her to the door. The pleasantries of how nice a day it was etc… blah blah blah… Then the conversation of the afternoon…

“Was awesome fun” Was her description..

“Definitely different” my reply..

“Different!!!????? What do you mean different???? You didn’t like it???, you joined in!!” She screamed.

“Omg, calm down… Just something I would not do normally, so yes different.”

“Well, if didn’t like it, there’s not much point us continuing to see each other!!!” Off she storms….

Shaking my head now…. Seriously… Ummmm yep! WTF. Run!!!!

Jump in car.

Text message ‘Sorry I yelled, can I call you tomorrow’

‘Well, half of Adelaide heard you, however apology accepted’ (Not sure why I said that!)

‘Can I call?’

‘Tomorrow, yes. Not tonight’

‘Ok cool’

Will she call? God knows….after how that ended, I hope not. Not sure I want to answer the phone!

My, at times, naivety has just been shattered even further, and a mind full of what the fuck just happened today? How did it go from wine to grunting????? Then again, will give me the chance to say “Hey, was fun, however I don’t think we should go on” over the phone… which is lots better than by text…

In the meanwhile, I’m off to find a beer, or 6, and dull the senses a little….

Will she call you think? Will she be apologetic? Where the hell will this end up?

Well, that’s another WOW moment! Maybe dating women isn’t easier. I won’t be jumping the fence any time soon!
#IBD4U

Maloo #2

Guess who comes back on the scene talking about how gorgeous I am & how wonderful I am that any guy would be lucky to have me & these guys are idiots for not seeing that. It’s just what I need to boost my self-esteem, he seems to have a six sense for this, he came back on the scene after Pilot & I’ve hardly heard from him since, but he just seems to know when things are shit with me.

However, there’s always a flaw. Maloo now has a live in girlfriend, they bought a house together, I remind him of that every chance I get because I do not want to be this person. I am not the type of woman who wants be with a cheater & I do not want to be the other woman.

Maloo #2

One of my friends gets really angry when I tell her that Maloo has contacted me, she says I need to cut ties with him. He says he wants to catch up & I’m the only friend he wants to keep in his life blah blah blah but I can’t help but be angry at the fact that he has a girlfriend! They have bought a house with together, yet he tells me that “some people do things to get ahead” which honestly just makes me angrier than before. I owned a house with Boyfriend & he basically left me for someone else, which I’m pretty sure Maloo knows that story so it’s almost unbelievable that he would say that stuff to me & think I would be impressed by it.

He also tells me how they don’t ever have sex, as if I want to hear that!? or is it supposed to make me feel sorry for him & have sex with him!? I don’t know. I stop replying to his messages, which is what I’ve done in the past & he disappears. I can’t help but just be relieved, but I’m pretty sure that it won’t be the last of him. When he’ll pop up, I don’t know, but I’m certain he will, I am still kinda friends with him, afterall. I just don’t want to be sexy friends with him. I can’t stop thinking about his girlfriend, regardless of their arrangement, I can’t ever see myself doing anything with him.

#IBD4U

DJ

After my friend & I both ended our relationships, obviously mine with Boyfriend, many many years ago, we used to go every Saturday night to the same club, parting all night. It wasn’t about picking up, it was just us being two free happy single women. It was some of the best times of my life. At this club back in 2008 I knew one of the dancers through a friend of a friend so I of course talked to her as I hadn’t seen her in years. She introduced me to her other dancer friend who was no longer dancing at the club since they put in poles for the girls to do pole dancing. This girl was so beautiful to me, she had perfect hair & was just a lovely person, she introduced us to her boyfriend who was a DJ at the club. I remember talking to him vaguely & never thought much of it.

Years later I was online dating & DJ came up as a prospect, I sat there looking at him for ages trying to figure out if it was him or not & should I swipe him, which I do just to see if he has liked me in return. He did, it’s a match & so I say hello, but I never ever get a response from him. He never deletes me or talks to me & a few months later I delete my account thinking nothing much of it.

Being the idiot that I am, I signed back up months later & he’s a prospect again, so I swipe to see if he’s a match again & he’s said yes too so we’re a match. I always say hello to people when I match with them so again, I said hello or something but again, he never answers or deletes me (which is what happens usually if they don’t want to talk to you.) A few months later I delete my account again.

About a year or even more later, I’m at a nightclub reunion event & I’m walking through the he crowd & who should I see but DJ. He’s not DJing but just hanging out with some people, we make eye contact before I just keep walking past, I don’t talk to him, though I am tempted, but I figure if he wanted to talk to me he had two chances online that he never bothered to utilise.

The next day I start searching his music, to see if he’s still mixing tracks & I find a site where he has uploaded mixes of dance songs that I really like. I find about five mixes so I follow him on that site & become obsessed with listening to them. Of course while listening to them I start having little day dreams, thinking that we’d get together & he would make a mix for his ‘beautiful girlfriend’ & then once we’re married his ‘amazing wife.’ Seriously my mind is just crazy! Hahaha.

A month later walking around the German festival with a friend & a friend of a friend who had lost our mutual friend, he says ‘there’s that DJ that always wears hats’ I turn & see him, I say ‘oh I know that guy’ he says ‘no you don’t’ so I tell him his name & he says yeah how do you know him. I don’t bother with my stalker story & just say from years ago in the clubs. Seeing him just makes me more obsessed with his music which I find on an obscure music app & I listen to it every day while I’m driving.

DJ

Finally I snap & think this is just stupid, so I delete the tracks I downloaded & find another artist to listen to on Thursday. I go out for dinner on Friday night, sitting on the side walk in Rundle Street & who walks past, DJ! This is typical for me, I just get someone out of my mind & they somehow appear.

It’s been ages since then & nothing has ever happened but he still pops up everywhere. I recently became friends with my hairdresser on Facebook & she’s bloody friends with him. Adelaide is just too small. I did let myself check if he’s added new mixes online every now & then, knowing that I will love it regardless, however I do notice when he uses the same song from a mix he did before. That just shows you what a fricken stalker I am!

If I was a person that believed in signs, surely that’s enough signs to make me act on it isn’t it? I was bumping into him every few months, but he never acted on it either & I figure he now just thinks of me as a stalker as I only just found out that on the music app, every time someone listens to a song it alerts the person who posted it who is listening to it. Yep, he was getting a daily notifications with my name! AWESOME.

#IBD4U

My Friend Likes You

I agree even more with the comedian that I mention in the Moonta post, how when you have someone already then somehow you become attractive to other people. I think this is probably because you aren’t actually looking, you might even be more confident, I don’t know what it is but I totally agree with him.

While the whole debacle (Can’t really call it a relationship – What was I doing with him?) was going on with Milky, I went to a nightclub with a friend, the same night I saw Security Guard while he was off duty but we were minding our own business just having a dance & enjoying the night. My friend is in a serious relationship & I have a Milky, so we’re just there to let our hair down.

We’re in a smaller room of the nightclub listening to my friends favorite DJ, standing right at the front, dancing with all the others, when this guy taps me on the shoulder & shouts to me ‘my friend likes you, he’s just behind you, so if you like him just turn around, he’s a really nice guy but he’s shy’ I automatically think of Milky, who is already arranged to come over to my house the nex

t night & really just can’t be bothered with someone that has to get his friend to tell me that he likes me, I really didn’t think that this would happen in my 30’s, I’d had it happen maybe once or twice before in my very early 20’s. I tell this guy that I am kinda seeing someone but thanks anyway & go back to dancing, not thinking much of it.

Later back in the main room, I am facing away on the dance floor & I make eye contact with some guy ever so briefly but he takes it as his cue to come talk to me. He says that his friend told me that he liked me, I said oh yeah, trying to just enjoy my night out dancing, but he asks if I’m having a good night (original) & I remember talking about how old we were, he was 30. I did think he was kinda cute, he wasn’t really my type but perhaps if I was in a different head space with Milky I may have kissed him at least, but I didn’t. He dances next to me for a while & tries to have a bit of a conversation, but I can see that he is really drunk by this point.

My friend likes you

He leaves the dance floor & I go back to having a good time, also having to stop some other boy from grabbing my hips & trying to pull me closer to him, when I look around & there are about 20 guys all dancing around us but no women. I say to my friend that I think we’re at the end of the road, where all the women who can’t walk in their shoes have gone home & all that are left are the people in appropriate footwear & now it’s crunch time for the men if they want to pick up.

I go to the bathroom & on the way there I bump into this guy, he stops me & says ‘hey I think you’re a really cool chick & seem heaps chilled, I just wondered if you wanted to go for coffee sometime’ Awww that’s so cute, I really don’t want to though, so I have to let this poor guy down easy. I let him know that it’s sweet he asked but I’m kinda of seeing someone so I can’t. He says ‘yeah no worries, I just wanted to see because you seem really chilled & nice’ I thank him for the invite & make my bathroom excuse to leave. I’m glad this guy built up the courage to ask me out, even though his friend probably told him that I was seeing someone, so it’s good for him.

Looking back on it now, I probably should’ve taken him up on his offer for a coffee, who knows what could’ve happened, especially since now that things have ended with Milky. Hindsight is such a wonderful thing!

#IBD4U

Wine-o

I love that time when you accept someone online, they are attractive to you, their profile seems quite good, it’s like you have some things in common & then you start chatting to them & the conversation flows easily. You chat for hours about all sorts of crap & best of all he hasn’t asked you one of the following at all (let alone within the first 5 minutes):

  • What are you wearing?
  • What are you looking for?
  • When was the last time you had sex?
  • How big are your tits?
  • Are you waxed?

When you talk about what you want from online dating you seem like you are both on the same page about everything, how you want to be in a relationship but also want your own life still, but trust & respect each other enough not to get jealous. How you both sleep with a ceiling fan on, what side of the bed you sleep on, what foods & wine you like, going out wine tasting, how you’re going to go shopping together to help him with sheets & towels, how he’ll be your spider removalist & what music you like. When we do talk about sex, it’s not weird or sleazy, its actually more about the things we like & don’t like, things we have in common more than talking about how hard they’re going to fuck you or how many hours they will go down on you.

He tells me to stop being so perfect & hopes that when we meet, we have a connection. We try to find things that we don’t have in common, like the fact that he smokes a little, I said it wasn’t a deal breaker but not something I love. But I was willing to overlook that in the hopes that this guy might be a potential boyfriend. You know my friends motto “Give him a go.”

I really love this part, before you’ve even met, where you can actually believe that he might be a guy you really like & can see yourself with in the future. I love how optimistic you feel & you build it up in your head, which is why meeting quickly is really important. I used to always put them off for a week or even two, text every day & end up with this relationship in my head but it’s best to get it over & done with, usually so you can move on.

We talk online on Sunday & talk for over four hours before he says maybe we should talk on the phone, so I give him my number & he calls me. The conversation doesn’t flow that easily, he seems to be lost for things to say so I talk a lot, but he does still ask me out for drink, knowing my week was pretty busy he said we’ll keep in touch.

I decide while lying there awake on Monday morning, thinking about what the drinks date would be like, that I need to rearrange my gym schedule & meet this guy tonight. I text him & let him know I can do some rearranging & meet him tonight if he is free at 7:30 pm, he says yes but maybe earlier. I agree to 6:30 pm, but at 5:30 pm, I’m stuck in my bosses office so I text him letting him know that I won’t make it by 6:30 pm but will let him know when I am leaving work.

At 6:30 pm I leave work & text him apologising profusely, as I don’t want to be one of those women who dick guys around & I really hate running late, but say we can meet at 7:30 pm & he agrees. I race home, shower, fix my make up & shove my hair into a messy bun, find a casual yet appropriate date outfit & I’m out the door.

He’s there when I arrive already having a beer, so I sit down & say hello with an apology vomit before going to get my own drink. He looks a little different to his photos, mainly due to his glasses, but I remember thinking throughout the date that he was cute & we had so much in common that I’d give him a go. However the conversation lacked something & I felt like I talked a lot again. He got a second drink & we struggled a bit to make the conversation flow, so he skulls the rest of his beer & put the empty glass on the table saying ‘we should head off.’ Outside the pub he says that it was nice to meet me & goodbye, no touching.

I knew it was a short date but I was so surprised when I got in my car at 8:30 pm! Wow, that must be a record – Worlds shortest date. At about 9:30 pm he texts saying ‘Thanks for meeting me this evening, it was nice to meet & you seem like a nice lady but unfortunately I think we can both agree that there wasn’t a chemistry worth pursing, I wish you well with your search. Thanks.’

I guess the thing that is annoying about that, is not that there was no chemistry, I thought so too but I always get told “you’re too fussy, give him a go” & when I do, I end up feeling like shit. I mean is there ever going to be a guy that I can reject before they beat me to the punch? No because I always give them a bloody go! I go out with people I don’t think are that attractive to me, I go out with people who are boring, I give people a second chance that have hurt me yet they can’t even spend more than hour with me? Even Milky stayed on a date for two hours with someone because he didn’t want to be rude, until I text him. I’m actually getting genuinely concerned about what might be wrong with me?

A few nights later, he hasn’t deleted me off his contact list & starts chatting to me, saying how much of a shame it was that we didn’t connect. I say that I kinda got a vibe from the phone call which is why I rearranged my Monday night to make sure we met quickly for a drink. I said I would’ve at least tried another date but didn’t feel it either. He then says ‘it’s a shame, I’m sure you give great head.’ Well I guess you’ll never know!

He keeps the conversation going, more than he did on the night we met, he says he thinks I’m pretty & how much of a shame it was we didn’t connect, I feel like he’s buttering me up for something. Then he asks ‘so are you just looking for a relationship or are you open to something casual?’ BINGO! I knew it. I reply that I am open to something casual & he says we could do that. I think about it for a while & think if we didn’t have chemistry then is the sex just going to be shit? I mean I don’t need any more shit sex in my life! However, since I haven’t had sex in a few weeks now, I am really keen. At least this won’t get complicated like Milky? Or will it?

Wine-o

He ends up messaging me the next day to say it’s probably best if we don’t start something, we should just focus on finding someone. I reply that I said that last night, he says I hope you find what you are looking for & I delete him before he can change his mind again!

#IBD4U

Too Eager

So my online profile ‘post Milky’ has ‘looking for a relationship’ in my looking for description & I come across Too Eager who in our first conversation was very keen to delete his online profile when we become a couple. Red Flag! Already warning bells are ringing for me, this isn’t a guy who’s interested specifically in me, this is a guy who is just desperate to be in a relationship. I’m non-committal to set a date for our date, he tries to get me to come to his house or a wine bar, I suggest a movie.

Before I go on, it’s just under 2 weeks since I ended it with Milky & have just stopped thinking about him as much as I was – that was probably my big mistake! At Easter, Good Friday family event, he texts! Yes Milky texts to see how my weekend is starting out, I reply a while later after my mind has settled down, just saying to him that I’m at a family thing nothing exciting. He replies almost instantly saying ‘just boring family stuff hey, well hopefully you get some good eggs out of it!’

FUUUuCCCcKKKkK!

Then I can’t get him out of my head again, I wake up really early on Saturday & clean! (I’m like Monica Geller from Friends, she cleans when she anxious! If my house is spotless, there’s something I’m worrying about!) I over think, why would he text, is it because he actually misses me? or is it because he’s just interested to see if I’ll sleep with him again? Or has he not found anyone else to sleep with him & hoping I won’t find anyone else if he keeps dangling the carrot & wait till he’s ready. Seriously, I feel like this shit only ever happens to me!

Too Eager

Anyway I secretly hope that Milky texts again on Saturday but when he doesn’t, I text Too Eager & ask him to the movies. I feel bad about it because Too Eager seems actually interested in me (well a relationship with someone at least!)

We meet at the movies, that I bought the tickets for, he tries to give me money but I say no, he buys the drinks at the candy bar. We go straight into the movie & I ask him about 10 questions but get none back, he doesn’t even ask the same question back to me & I can’t help but think about Milky & how easily the conversation flowed with him. This then leads to a stupid line of thinking about what it would be like to be on a date, an actual date with Milky. Would he have held my hand? Would he have snuggled in the seat with me? STUPID!! STOP!! Milky never even asked me on a date!

This doesn’t help poor Too Eagers case either, because I then start to pick on everything I don’t like about him, not only have I made his nickname Too Eager but his nose whistled – one of my pet peeves including loud breathing & chewing, he didn’t ask me anything or say anything interesting at all. We chatted a few times since the date on the online app, but I never see him again.

#IBD4U

Hockey Puck #2

So after I ended things with Milky, I start up another online account on a different site & delete my stupid profile on the other site. (There may be something wrong with me!)

I get a super like from Hockey Puck & I consider it for quite some time before liking him back, just so I can say WTF to him. I start out like a bit of a bitch saying to him “haven’t we done this before” & he says yes but he tried to message me late last year but I never wrote back. (Mainly because I was ‘seeing’ Milky & I felt pretty shit about how Hockey Puck & I ended being that we were texting for hours on end then we slept together & he disappeared.) He tells me that his ‘tactics’ weren’t the best. Ya Think?! I can’t help but think that he’s not had sex with anyone since me so he thought he’d try again with me.

I proceed with caution trying not to get caught up in it again because he does like to text all day long being he’s not working & has the time. I try to keep my texts vague but within a couple of days I am caught up in his banter, asking me what I’m wearing, telling how much he wants me & I can’t believe I am here again! Yet I stupidly can’t stop myself.

We text for less than a week before I am considering catching up with him again – Seriously… What is wrong with me?! I was going out on the Saturday night but thought he could come over afterwards. But when I text him to see what he is doing, he says he just went to bed coughing his guts up. I really can’t believe it, shame on you if you fool me once, shame on me if you fool me twice! Right? What is with this guy?

I tell him to delete me but he says he doesn’t want too, telling me that he really is sick & he’d call me to prove it. But honestly, what is this guy’s game, was he like some women who like to string guys along & never meet them or have sex with them.

Deleted your number

He texts me the next day & the following days asking when I am going to invite him over etc, I make him so hard blah blah, I just ignore it. I can’t be bothered with this guy really. I mean he was a good distraction especially in the weeks post Milky but I cannot be so stupid to get involved with him again.

I swear men must think they can find someone better so they ditch me & then in a few months’ time after another dating disaster & I sign up online again, they come track me down because they haven’t found anyone better but they are clearly still looking! I tell you now that I am really over it & I’m not sure how any guy I do meet now will ever see the real me?

Anyway another two weeks on I am still yet to catch up with him, yet he texts all day long, then ‘sexts’ me all night saying how much he wants me & how hard I make him, yet he never sets a date to catch up. I don’t push it because I figure he is a good distraction from thinking about Milky & other dates that I am making myself go on!

While I’m away for work one week, he sexts me all day, it’s actually the first time I’ve really enjoyed it. He says he wants to make me wet just by his texts & he does. I quickly rush back to the hotel to get some relief before I have to out for a work dinner. I’ve never done that before; it was actually really good. I was turned on all day & thought about how awesome it would be to actually have sex with someone after all that build up. I look forward to that happening in the future with someone!

We never actually catch up; I find out that he’s online still & he’s moving to the UK the next year. So I end up telling him that I am over talking to him & while I am, I also don’t want it to stop because it’s not like I have anyone else. He’s a great distraction & always texts back when I text, plus he says stuff about how much he wants me, that it makes me believe it, even though we’ve only had sex once.

#IBD4U

Guest Blogger: Liza

One of my fabulous readers sent me this dating story. With his permission, he has allowed me to share it with you.

This had never happened to me (yet! hahaha!) & it really opened my eyes that women can be just as bad as some men.

Thank you for sharing your story with me & allowing me to publish it, I feel very privileged to have you trust me!

Here is is:

Liza

12 months ago, chatted to a lovely lady on Zoosk, lets call her Liza, chatted for weeks, professionally employed, rather senior. Super intelligent yet the banter and jokes were abundant.
Thinking here we go, a little older in mid forties is ok, has kids, busy professional lady, keeps fit and healthy, drop dead gorgeous… just my type!
Finally agree to catch up. Kid free weekend for both… fabulous!
Had not yet established what each other where looking for (pitfall one) or how long each other had been single for (pitfall two)
Meet at a well known eastern suburbs hotel, quite close to her suburb. There’s a tick… ease for her to get there.
The usual customary meeting out front, looking stunning in a summer floral dress and heels (a holy shit moment!)
Order the wine, which she pretty much skulls the first one, ok, shall I get another? Yes please…
A bit slower on the second (Thank god… otherwise she will hammered)
Banter and BS conversation continues, rather enjoyable.
Talked about careers, and where we grew up… Country towns pops up in conversation… have where we lived in common, great!
Do you know this person and that one… lovely!
Share a platter, a couple more wines, more cheekiness and banter…
Time to head home, enough drinks to be had safely.
Ok, will do the gentleman thing as I always do and walk her to her car…
Customary kiss on cheek and hug… then moved to kiss… very quickly turned slammed against a garden fence with hands being used liberally….
Common sense prevails from my end ”hang on, a little over the top for standing in the wide open view of the eastern suburbs residents, think I should bid you farewell and catch up another night”

Answer… think you best come to mine for a coffee…
Now, not being completely naive, knew where this was going…
Short drive, told to just wait a few minutes for house to be ready to enter…
Ok then.

Arrive, knock on door… meet at door with Liza in a see through slip… ok, so no coffee first then!

You can imagine the rest after this…

When leaving at 5am next morning, the last goodbyes, the question of catching up again completed with ”a maybe, let’s see how things go” (so that’s a no) from her end… the last question from Liza is… ”Do you know ******** from ****** area?”

Me… ”Yes I do, why’s that?”

Liza ”He’s my ex husband”

Me “Oh”
Me again ”You’ve only been broken up for a few months?”

Liza “that’s right”

Oh dear…

Me ”does he know you’re dating”

Liza “no essentially “

Me “Ok, then”

Liza “He does know you, and also knows that I caught up with you last night, and will now know that you stayed here last night and what went on”

Me ”What!!!????? how’s that?”

Liza “I sent him a message to tell him, also a pic of you sleeping on his side of bed”

WTF!!!!
And few words of disbelief, I bolted, and basically could not believe I’d been used etc

A text a few days later from Liza basically said… ”Thanks for the fun night, the pic worked, pissed ***** off!”
My exchange was “you’re a nutter”

Her reply “Well, couldn’t date you seriously because you know him anyway, you’re a hot guy and I just needed some and in the end you were perfect ammo… But don’t despair… just know that the sex was fucking awesome and enjoyed fucking you. Cheers”

WTF!😂😂😂😂

 

Wow! Just wow…

#IBD4U

Milky #4

Why I do these things to myself, I will never know but I set up an account online because I figure I need to find someone new, clearly Milky & I are on different paths here, right? But then curiosity starts to eat at me & I start to keep an eye out for Milky’s profile. After about a week of searching all the 36/37 year old men, I am relieved that he is not on there & I start to relax that perhaps is becoming more than a casual thing for him too. I start to sticky tape my dream back together, only when I get home one Wednesday night & log in after a few days of inactivity, do I see his face in the tiny box because he’s ‘liked’ my profile! Rippppppp!

Right so a few things, what the hell was I planning to do with the information that he’s online dating still, has he been on there the whole time? Or has he been getting a vibe from me that I’m not keen for more & re-joined? Unlikely because his profile was exactly the same. A few lies I picked up though after getting to know him, he says he’s 35 (that’s why I couldn’t find him because he’s is 36/37!) & also says that he’s 5’7. Pfft, he’s my height 5’3, at a push he’s 5’4. How does he think lying is going to get him anywhere?

So my profile has hardly anything on it, just some song lyrics. After I add him he says ‘Hey I’m milky, your profile doesn’t have a lot on it, but it made me laugh. I see you like wine, do you ever go to tastings?’ Can it be that he likes the idea of the fake me better than the real me? Or have I just had a guard up too long & now he thinks I’m not interested or still just want something casual? Have I really fucked this up this time!?

I decide that since I am getting a little too emotionally invested in this, it’s time to have “the talk” with him, find out where he is at & let him know that I want more than just hook ups. Whatever the answer is, I need to know. I ask him over, which is the first time in about a month that he’s been to my house, we grab a pizza, watch some crap on tv, kiss, have sex & go to bed. I’m actually feeling better about having the talk, he did a few little things to make me feel like he was actually interested, like while we were ordering the pizza he would brush my arm & helped himself to a drink (my friend thinks it’s couply that he brings his own pillow when he stays over too). But while we were watching TV, there is a woman with an annoying voice, I mention how annoying it is & he says “yeah I met someone the other day who had an annoying voice but I didn’t want to be rude so I was stuck with her for 2 hours, but then you text me so I said I had to pick a friend up from the fringe” Great, so now he was so open he was telling me about dates that he was going on?! & used me as an escape route. That just solidified the fact I needed to have the talk with him. But after 2 bottles of wine now, I had to wait till morning.

I barely slept all night, I kept waking up wondering if he’d put his arm around me or spoon me like other nights, give me some reassurance that he was feeling even a little like I was. I am not ready for anything full on but something at least monogamous or with some feeling at least. However he was again distant & got up, got dressed & then just stood over me till I got up. I plucked up my courage when he was sitting there waiting for me & said “So I know I said I wanted casual, but I don’t think I can do this anymore. I’m kinda over it & need something more” he said he wasn’t looking for anything serious & that he thought I was busy with work. I agreed that I am really busy with work but I need something more than waiting for his texts or catching up every couple of weeks. He said “so that’s it then?” & he seemed genuinely disappointed. But I said yes, he kissed me, said he’d wait to hear from me & then left. I was a stone & unable to cry!

Milky #4

I was unable (because I’m a masochist or something!) to delete my account online that he’s talking to me on. I never talked to him again on it though, I just kept it open a while to see when he was online. I sometimes wish I was one of those vindictive women who could play games with him via that account or even call him up now to tell him I’m pregnant to see what he would do. But lucky for him, I am not like that at all. I have those thoughts, after all I am human, but I’d never do it. Whats the point of trying to trick someone who doesn’t want to be with you, into being with you?

I guess the thing that really is upsetting me, is that I had a huge list of firsts with this guy & technically this was the second longest ‘relationship’ I’ve ever had. How sad!! It wasn’t even a relationship! A friend told me I can’t be upset because we weren’t exclusive & that’s not why I’m upset. I did actually think I liked this guy & did want it want it to be more, I put off seeing other men because I didn’t want to jeopardise anything with someone who wasn’t even interested in me! & after 5 months I still couldn’t get a guy to see how fun & cool I am.

I keep going over & over it in my head, what I did, what I said, what I could have done differently, but I don’t think it’s that simple. Even though he talked about how much money I made almost every time we caught up (& my friends say I do talk a lot about things I am doing to my house or trips I’m planning, but I don’t do that to be superior, I am genuinely excited to finally be able to do those things, not to make anyone else feel bad) & he always seemed so comfortable at my house, getting himself drinks that I really thought we were on a different track to what we were.

Milky did a lot for me though, he really opened my eyes not only sexually (I’m a lot more open to things & confident than I was), I have a lot to thank him for! But I did also realise my worth. I am worth more than just a fuck buddy & I deserve someone to love me.

Anyway closing that 5 month chapter & back to square one. At least this blog will now live on!

#IBD4U

MIA Undies

Many years ago in my 20’s, even way before Boyfriend, I used to go out drinking every weekend with friends & I think this particular incident happened at one of my birthday outings, or at least is was someone’s birthday. This was also the night that I lost my brand new phone, it was a Nokia 5110! (Fuck I’m old!). I was always the most drunk out of everyone, not something to proud of but it’s what I used to do. Not that much has changed but I am a lot less ridiculous!

Drunk on the dance floor used to be the place I would pick up most, bumping & grinding with the dude that wrapped his arms around your waist, some of the time it would end there, but this night, at a nightclub by the beach he asked me to go for a walk. We left the club & went to the beach. I don’t really remember it that well but from what I remember, we didn’t really go to a less populated area before we sat & then ended up having sex on the beach. Once we were done, I kinda of remember thinking ‘What the fuck (WTF wasn’t invented then!) am I doing?’ I jumped up still fully clothed but missing my undies, I look around for them, I can’t find them. I ask him where they are, he can’t find them either.

I go back to the club & find my friends, I think leaving sex boy because I don’t remember ever talking to him again. But I enlist a guy friend that we’re with to come outside & help me find my undies. This is also before torches on your phone so we’re just looking, maybe not even in the right spot, for my missing undies. We can’t find them so I end up going home undie less, yet while we’re out there looking for them I make my guy friend who was helping me take off his shirt & give it to me because I’m cold. He’s got a singlet underneath so I apparently think it’s ok to take someone’s shirt, which I never gave back. It hung on the back of my door for years, till I think I gave it to Boyfriend.

MIA Undies

So how would I rate sex on the beach, well sand is just dirt, cold, damp dirt that sticks to everything, gets in crevasses that it shouldn’t, chafes you in places that should only be treated nicely. I imagine that it would be like for him wearing a condom made out of sandpaper. Perhaps people have had better experiences than me but I’ve never tried it again, maybe one day I’ll venture outdoors again.

I’ll never know what happened to that brand new purple Bonds g string but I have a sneaking suspicion that the boy I had sex with took them, put them in his pocket when he took them off to keep them as a souvenir, where else could they have gone?

#IBD4U

Checklist

Most women have one, I’m sure of it, a checklist of what their dream guy would have, not necessarily in looks, unless they have a specific type, but all their other attributes. I’ve talked about it a few times, mine is long, but I never ever expect anyone to have all of it, this is just my dream list:

  • Makes me laugh
  • Likes music, live events & going out
  • Honest
  • I find them attractive
  • Chemistry
  • Well-travelled
  • Own a house/unit/apartment
  • Educated
  • Working full time
  • Drives a Holden or decent car at least
  • No kids, doesn’t want kids or has kids of his own already.
  • Single
  • Family orientated
  • Good in bed
  • Love an accent!

But let’s face it, no guy is ever going to have all that & if they do, they are usually with one of my friends! (Hahahha… eh)

Checklist

None of this actually matters with someone you actually like, for example Milky hadn’t been overseas, he did own a house, don’t think he was tertiary educated, he didn’t have a job for almost two months while we were seeing each other, he drove a ford, he didn’t have kids & I assume he was single, he made me laugh, he said he liked going out yet we never did, he was family orientated, fairly honest, I found him attractive the more & more we caught up & he was good in bed!

You can see why my friends think I am fussy, but this list stems from my own accomplishments that I think would be attractive to a man, I have a house, I’m educated, I’m very well travelled, my job is great, I don’t have kids or baggage but all this equates to for most men is that I’m intimidating. I scare them off by being a smart independent woman.

I generally only use this list when I know I am never going to see them again, it protects my heart a little, I can say to my friends ‘Well he had nothing on my list anyway’ when probably in truth, the list means didilly squat..

Now my list is:

  • Someone who actually likes me

#IBD4U

Milky #3

At this point, Milky gets a new job so I guess that’s why I don’t see him for a couple of weeks, he still is reliable & texts on Thursdays at 7:30 pm to ask how my week has been & then we always text for a bit, working out if each other is free on the weekend on not. We only catch up twice in a month when before that we were seeing each other weekly, so I keep my casual hat on even though I stayed over at his house before having to meet for a friend’s birthday lunch, where everyone said how amazing I looked, yeah because I woke up, he spoon fucked me before I came to lunch – of course I look good, I’m rocking the ‘just fucked look!

But then he’s busy one weekend, the next weekend I’m away in the infamous Moonta doing stupid things with a complete jock of a boy! He texts me to catch up the following weekend on the Friday night (we usually do Saturday nights) & I’m busy, I have friends coming over, so I say come over after, but he said he’d be asleep by then & he’s got a 21st on the Saturday night.

I’m not sure if any of you have read that book ‘He’s just not that into you’? Well basically it says that if a guy isn’t trying to sleep with you, then he’s just not that into you. There is no variation on this rule; any excuse a guy uses means he’s just not that into you. I mean that book should be burned, because I always come back to it, assuming that because Milky wouldn’t stay awake long enough to come to my house means ‘he’s just not that into you’ so I should say no worries & move on.

Sitting all alone on Saturday night, about 7:30 pm when he texts to say he’ll be finished about 10 pm so I could come over then. I don’t know why, but I pretend that I’m out for dinner & say ‘yeah sure, I should be finished dinner by then so let me know.’ So while getting ready for being ‘fake out for dinner’ it gets to 10 pm & still nothing more from him. At 10:30 pm I think he’ll text me soon, so I’ll get in my car, go for a drive closer to his house to presume the dinner pretence that I’m not 40 mins away at my house. I make a deal with myself that if he hasn’t text by half way, then I’ll put petrol in my car & go home (like a loser!)

He doesn’t text & I get all the way home, in my Pj’s & think I’ll just send him a quick ‘Sorry we didn’t catch up text but I’ve just dropped my friend home & I’m on my way home too.’ (WTF? There is something wrong with me…) Anyway he finally texts apologising saying his sister is his ride but should be home soon. We text a bit & I end up saying that I could still go to his house, if he was still awake. So I go… Yes I’m stupid but at this point my vagina is thinking for me. So I rock up about 1 am, like a booty call, and we have a drink watch some ridiculous Asian subtitle movie, that had to be some sort of satire before he kisses me, we fool around for a while before I realise what his game is, he’s prepping me for some ass sex. I seriously lose count of how many times he makes me cum with his fingers, his mouth, his fingers again, I’m so relaxed & satisfied that he’s able to slip it in my ass before I even really notice it. It doesn’t hurt me at all like it had with other guys who do the “surprise anal”, it just feels amazing, I had a feeling I would like it, but I didn’t realise just how much! He switches positions & I end up lying on my front for him to finish & me to go again! We shower & go to bed, everything seeming normal. The next morning, he gets up, gets dressed but comes back to bed & says he doesn’t want to kick me out but his dad is coming over at lunchtime, I basically jump up & leave. I’ve never felt more used than I did that morning.

Milky #3

When his usual text doesn’t come at 7:30 pm the following Thursday night, I feel even worse about having anal sex with him, but I have to be up at 5:00 am on Friday, so I text him as it’s the time he wakes up too. I don’t get a response till about 6:00 pm where we text a bit, but I’m out so I text back later when I am on the tram & say how I’ve parked at the entertainment centre (which is close to his house) but by the time he invites me over or says ‘you could have stopped into my place after the show haha’ but I’m over halfway home & bloody buggered as it’s almost 10:00 pm & I’ve been up since 5:00 am.

The next night I am at a wedding, I text him as I’m leaving about 11:00 pm to ask what he’s up too, he says just drinking & watching TV. I said I’m leaving & driving home now. He cracks a joke about me falling off furniture & that’s the last I hear from him that night. I can’t help but feel like he’s pulling away, I know we’re not exclusive & we’re not in a relationship but have I stuffed up something that wasn’t even anything with the first boy I’ve really liked in ages?

#IBD4U

Moonta

I heard a comedian tell a story once where he was never lucky with women, then he finally found someone who loved him & they became boyfriend & girlfriend that all these other women came out of the woodworks & suddenly found him attractive. I believe there is a phenomenon that once you have someone, whether that is casual, serious or not even monogamous that others will find you more attractive. That’s how I met Moonta!

On a weekend away with six girlfriends for my friends 40th, things were relatively normal, in a group of four flats facing the beach. We went down for a swim & looked back at our balcony to find a what seemed topless woman, playing what seemed to be a game of strip mini basketball with her boyfriend. When he stood up & flashed his bare ass, we know it’s a game of strip something!

Having a wine on the deck, nude boy pops his head over (he’s now in footy shirts) & asks if we saw him naked, when I said yes & had a laugh he asked if we wanted to play a naked game. I laughed explaining that we were six women here for a fun weekend but that wouldn’t include nakedness. We talked to him for a while, which somehow resulted in him cooking our BBQ that myself & another friend were going to do, so we went out to the BBQ to be polite & to supervise.

We talked more to this guy, who seemed like he was on drugs as he was grinding his teeth & his toes didn’t stop moving, but when we talked to him more, he explained that we could call the girl he was with “his wife”, when she came out with their meat for the BBQ, we invited them over for salad, but she declined. Fair enough, she was there for a dirty weekend with her husband!

After dinner, Moonta popped his head around our corner again to chat & play his music for us. Another friend gave the birthday girl a pack of Cards Against Humanity. Moonta & I were the only ones who’d ever played it so we had to explain the rules. During the card game things didn’t seem right with Moonta & his woman, she mentioned driving her husbands car up there, she seemed to imply that they weren’t a couple at all, he was 28 & she was 45 & Moonta wasn’t wearing a ring. Not my problem.

At the end of two rounds of hilarious cards, I was winning & the birthday girl had had enough, we packed up but Moonta wouldn’t leave even with his girl saying they should go back to their room. She left him & everyone went inside, I thought, this guy isn’t going anywhere so I hung back to talk to him (being the only one close to his age) but I never expected things to go the way they did…

He wouldn’t leave, when I asked why he said he didn’t want to go home & that he found me “so hot”, being that it isn’t a descriptive term I hear often or ever, I laughed. The chick he was with had washboard abs, perky tits & was relatively pretty. I never hear that from guys, ever. Hot is not a word I would ever use to describe myself. So I ended up going inside, thinking this guy is delusional.

I went to my bed room to get changed in my Pj’s, tidy up my bag a bit & who appears at my window? Moonta, telling me how hot he thinks I am, how much he wants to fuck me, I try not to entertain the idea, when I hear his woman come around the corner, I hide behind the wall & stay there till I can’t hear their voices like some sort of idiot. Rolling my eyes, I head back out for to the group in the lounge room for another wine.

The friend who helped with the BBQ comes out of her room after having just gone to bed saying that Moonta was standing at her window blowing smoke in her room & asking for me. I am secretly excited, but think what the fuck, this guy is here on a dirty weekend with a married woman who is hot, what the hell would he want with me? (I may need to work on my self-esteem!)

I go outside to find him, he immediately starts telling me how hot he finds me, I explain that I’m “kinda seeing someone”, he says that’s fine, he’s happy just to talk, tell me about your boyfriend. So we sit on the retaining wall & I feel stupid telling him about Milky, who is unfortunately on my mind, do I want to jeopardise what I have with him? (do I really have “something” with Milky to jeopardise?) but do I really want to pass up a sexy night with this hot guy for something that may not even be anything?

Yet when he leans down to kiss me, I’m thankful he’s taller than me & I kiss him back, he tried to put his hands in my pyjama shorts & I pull away. This guy is here on a dirty weekend with a chick & I have a Milky – don’t I?. Moonta really knows how to get a woman into bed, I mean some of the lines he came out with like ‘I want to date you’ & ‘we don’t have to have sex, we can just talk but you’re so hot I want you.’ He keeps trying to kiss me, but I keep pulling away when she comes around the corner & sharply says his name like his mum. I tell him to go, that nothing is going to happen with me, he tried to memorise my phone number (yeah right!) & then tries to remember my name to add me on Facebook. She comes around the corner again “are you serious?” I pushed him away & walked away back inside, never to hear from him again. Probably for the best anyway!

Moonta

I didn’t tell Milky about the kiss (we’re not exclusive, I mean I’ve asked if he’s sleeping with anyone else which he said no, but we’ve not had the talk) But what this encounter made me realise, is that I actually might like Milky a lot more than I wanted to, or is he just the first regular guy I’ve slept with that has show some sort of interest in me?

#IBD4U

Hipster

I met Hipster on a site that I didn’t even know was a site you could chat on. But somehow I worked out the app by sending a post out about how I am really attracted to guys who make me laugh & several guys start chatting to me, specifically one who wanted to play truth or dare. (little did I know, this was a usual game on this app, designed for teenagers!) I really had never played truth or dare over text or chat so didn’t know what to even say to this bloke.

I chose dare so I seemed fun & cool so when he asked to see a picture of my best feature, I tried to crop a photo of my eye but ended up sending him my whole face, (basically because I didn’t know how to use this app) which he said he liked & then he sent me his photo. He looked kinda hipster in his scarf, baldish head & goatee & he wasn’t the type that I would go for at all. But I decided to “give him a go” as I should think outside the box of men that I usually go for. Maybe this would be different.

We talked about hobbies & we had a few that were the same or similar & that’s when he decide to introduce himself, when he said his name & it was the same first name as Milky, I immediately thought of him! & that’s about when I started thinking how whatever I am doing with Milky, it actually could be something more. I really didn’t initiate conversation with Hipster too much as in my head I didn’t want to ruin things with Milky for just a random guy.

Hispster

When Hipster asked me if I wanted to catch up, I said maybe, even though I had an epiphany about what I wanted with Milky, I still thought I needed to put some distance between Milky & I, since I had probably told him that I wanted casual, I didn’t want to start planning the wedding, maybe a date with someone else would take the pressure off?

But when Hipster gave me his number, I couldn’t go through with it, I wasn’t really feeling it with him, like the banter was ok, but my heart was never in it. So I told him I was kinda seeing someone (not completely untrue in my eyes) & l wasn’t sure what “it” was yet, so he said yeah cool don’t worry about it. Then I never hear from him again.

#IBD4U

Swiss

In my younger years, before boyfriend, I went on my first overseas trip to Fiji. I was so excited to be finally going overseas, it was a massive dream. While I am a well-traveled individual now, at 20 going overseas for the first time, I was a bit of a late starter, in comparison to my friends. I was going with one girl friend & we were going to spend 10 days in Fiji, 5 on a Beachcomber island and 5 on the main island at a resort. The first 5 days were apparently going to be spent on the party island.

When we got there, the party island, was tiny, you could walk around the whole thing in about 10 minutes. People only spent one or two days there & they all slept in backpacker style accommodation however my friend & had a room with a private bathroom. For being in our early 20’s, we probably should’ve been in the share accommodation, it might’ve been more fun, however people we met, called us snobs & rich because we had a private bathroom.

One night at the bar we made friends with two other chicks from Sydney, we also met a guy from Canada, a guy from Germany & a guy from Switzerland. We were all drinking way too much & ended up doing some shots. My friend & I somehow even got behind the bar to take a photo with the bartenders.

I started cosying up with Swiss (as we all started to call him – I don’t know how real name) & my friend with a German guy. I don’t really remember how things happen but I ended up back in my room with Swiss & we start kissing & have sex, before my friend comes knocking on the door to come in with the German guy. Swiss & I leave the room & head to the tennis courts. I’m not sure why we gave up the room, but we did. We try to have sex on the tennis courts but I get sore knees (hahaha) so we retreat back to closer to the room, where we find a hammock. We fool around & have sex in the hammock before just lying there under the stars of Fiji.

Swiss

The next day, Swiss is off the island & I am extremely hungover. He says he’ll keep in touch but this is actually before the days of Facebook so I never hear or see him again, nor do I try to contact him – not that I would know how anyway. But it was nice to have a summer romance & literally weeks after that encounter, I end up with Boyfriend & in a relationship. I had everything I ever wanted, so I didn’t worry about the boy I fucked in Fiji. But now I kind of wonder what it would be like if I met someone like that now days, with Facebook.

Oh actually, hang on….

I did & it’ll probably just end up like Cruise/Cruise#2. Never mind.

#IBD4U

Milky #2

After the night at his house, where I got really drunk & fell off his bed, (much to his delight & he reminded me often), we text lots but I get sick with tonsillitis & so I don’t see him that weekend, but we chat about how hilarious it was for him to mix wine & vodka, me falling off the bed & some other cocktail that he made that reminded me of the smell of fly spray, he said he wanted to get me drunk again, I said be careful what you wish for, next minute he’s revealing that his three wishes would include some rope, handcuffs & a vibrator.

As we explore this line of conversation I realise that he is into a bit of BDSM, so far I’ve enjoyed everything we’ve done, including him spanking my ass, standing up to have sex & him pulling my ponytail but I tell him that I’ve never been tied up before but don’t mind being pinned down with my arms above my head. He says he’ll have to show me his toys sometime. I say that I need to trust the person before I let them tie me to something, he agrees & says that just think of a “casual thing like trusting a friend.” My heart sinks, I’ve been building this thing up to a bloody full blown relationship. I wanted casual, I’m sure that’s what I would’ve said to him, he gave it to me & now I’m wanting more. What is wrong with me?

We work out for him to come to my house the next week & he says he’ll bring some toys, I agree thinking that it might be interesting & something that I enjoy since he’s been the only guy to ever make me cum by just playing with my nipples (yes that’s a thing!), I figure that whatever we do will be just as good & if I don’t like it I can just tell him & if I don’t want to, I never have to see him again anyway, right?

I decide to read a book on kink to make sure I know what I’m in for, not just a apparently lewd love story version like Fifty Shades of Grey (which I did enjoy nonetheless!). I read ‘SM 101 – a realistic introduction’ & I’m not sure if it makes things worse. It talks about trust quite a lot, because this person could just tie you up & torture you to death (great thanks for that thought!) so I think I freaked myself out a bit. However the book is mainly about Dominant/submissive relationships, which I don’t think I’d be cut out for, I couldn’t look down all the time or only refer to a partner as master.

Milky #2

But next time Milky comes over, he pulls out a rope, paddle & a butt plug & says he’s thinking he could tie me to my pergola or my ottoman, I say I’m not ready to be tied to something yet, so he just packs it all away & he kisses me & we just have some kinky moments (look away mum!) where he makes me cum standing up with his finger in my ass but then vanilla sex. Yet he never uses any of his toys that night.

For those of you who have read fifty shades of grey, you can see how this story is turning more & more like it (without the hot millionaire) & to make this even more lifelike, one of my best friends met a guy online just before Christmas (at this point, I’d been sleeping with Milky for about 2 months, semi regularly) then after New Years they become boyfriend & girlfriend, yet here I am discussing if I want to be tied to my pergola or not…

#IBD4U

Ibiza

My friend & I were travelling through Europe still for 5 weeks a few years back, the same trip I had the Manchester evening in Croatia. We picked different countries that neither of had been too before. So we planned Spain, now you can’t go to Spain without a trip to Ibiza.

Our trip was a very tight trip with everything we wanted to fit in. Stupidly I think we went to 7 or 8 countries in 5 weeks, doing our own thing, not a tour so it was pretty full on. We booked flights to Ibiza & with our schedule, it meant we were going to be there less than 24 hours. It was pre-season, so the clubs weren’t open yet however there was one nightclub doing a special gig that we bought tickets for.

We went to the local shop, got some drinks (which were super cheap!) then we went back to the hotel, hung by the pool for a bit & got ready for a big night out. Now being in Ibiza, the party capital of the world, we thought we should get there early so we didn’t have to line up & also cos we had an early flight the next day.

We rock up to ‘Space’ nightclub. The music is pumping but the place is empty. Much like the Croatia nightclub. We sit at the bar & have transvestites chatting to us who were promo girls, while other guys taking to us didn’t believe they were men. It was worrying that the massive club was basically empty. Maybe this was a mistake!

Ibiza

But just like Croatia, the club starts to get packed, we start dancing & drinking way too much. Well especially me this time.

We start dancing with this bunch of guys, all wearing bunny ears. They all speak Spanish, no English at all & I try out my Spanish skills trying to talk to them, however it does not go well, especially in a packed loud nightclub. I somehow end up kissing one of them. He very cute, beautiful brown hair, beautiful tan, tall, exotic & just what I needed that night. I remember walking around the club with him, possibly trying to find somewhere we could have sex but not succeeding.

I go back to my friend & she is relieved to find me again, saying I’d been gone for ages. Really? Whoops… What was I doing? Kissing a sexy Spanish guy, that’s what! We trek back to the hotel, luckily she was more sober than me. I was so drunk, I don’t remember much besides what she’s told me. But I had such a good time I remember shouting over the music at one point to her “I’m never growing up!” & let’s face it, I haven’t!

#IBD4U