British

I match with a guy online a week after things end with Noddy, we’re chatting about what we’re doing tonight, I say that I am going to have a bath. But when he suggests that we meet for a drink, I think I don’t want to be home alone again while Noddy is off doing whatever the fuck he’s doing with the snapchat girl.

I am cautious of British, he looks a lot like Noodle that it’s kinda scary! His pictures are cute, but not usually the type of guy I go for, however I guess I have a type if he looks like Noodle! I never thought I did have a type. Dark brown hair, full trimmed beard, 6 foot tall, almost the same build as Noodle too but OMG, he turns out to be British! That’s OMG, I can’t even cope!

He talks about how his day got rained out of ab sailing & he’s had a rare lazy day around the house. I tell him that I am going to have a bath & a long soak after the gym this morning when he asks what I’m going to do afterwards. Because he so cute & british, I already start thinking that I want to meet this guy tonight, so I shouldn’t have a bath, but shower instead, wash my hair & maybe see this guy. He asks what suburb I’m in being that we’re only 4 kms apart – we’re close to each other. He says that he’s either going to head out for a few beers or stay home & cook something – I suggest steak, being he’s a foodie. We talk about my rope pictures that I have up, he doesn’t understand what I mean when I say about riggers & bunnies. Saying that he doesn’t understand my aussie linigo so I ask if he’s not Australian – not remembering his British flag on his profile like an idiot “No I’m from London, moved here about 6 months ago” LIKE really?! Finally, a guy, sent from the cute gods above & he’s also British… I hate that I start planning our wedding! (Hahaha – not really but you know what I mean)

I ask him what made him pick Adelaide, having been born here myself but also having extensively travelled & lived overseas, I am always intrigued about why people pick Adelaide to put down their roots “My mate lives in Sydney but he recommended Adelaide & after visiting Melbourne, Sydney & Adelaide. I felt more at home here” Well I agree with that, I say that’s its small but awesome, I’ve lived elsewhere but I love it here. He asks me if I have another chat app whats app but even though I do, I say no – I don’t want to give him another app if he’s a dickhead in the end. I don’t like to talk to them on other apps until I meet them… He says “Not to worry, thought it may be easier to talk on there. And maybe arrange a little drink later on. To discuss countries, bunnies, riggers & steak.” I laugh. Fuck… He’s making me laugh! We start talking about cheese too, my other favourite food – his too. He asks if I’d like to have share some cheese & wine later & I agree saying we can meet later, I suggest a place close by that’s a pretty nice steak house & we say we’ll meet at 7:00 pm. I google the place & see they have a share platter but that’s the only cheese they have. He says “done!” I tell him that will be my dinner because I haven’t been eating much with some stress lately (Why the fuck do I tell him that?!) he asks what I’m stressed about & that I can talk to him, but tell him that “Work is nuts & some personal stuff. I’ll be fine, just how my weird body reacts. You’d think I’d be skinny as fuck, but nope!” He says “Luckily for you I can’t stand skinny as fuck!” He asks if I like octopus & I say no, so he says he’ll ask for more haloumi instead of it – obviously he’s looked up the platter too – TOO CUTE… I tell him he can ask for that, I am thankful he wants to do that, but I hate doing stuff like that! He also tells me about a bottle of wine he has that has blue cheese undertones in it, I think to myself that sounds gross when he says “I know it sounds disgusting, but wait till you try it.” Oh really!?

He asks what I do for work & I actually surprise myself by telling him the real job title, I usually lie until I meet them… He tells me that he is a buyer for a company that does refurbishments. I wonder what the hell that is, so I say it sounds interesting. He says “Yeah have more to tell you about my time in London doing it as I was for 12 years… Only just joined this company… You sound interesting, I like that” so I say “I guess that’s obvious being you just moved here.” & he replies “Very true there scrumptious” WTF? & then asks me “Will you be wearing your mini mouse outfit tonight” I tell him I have no idea what he is talking about with the scrumptious comment, assuming he’s chatting to someone else & I also have no idea about the Minnie Mouse outfit either so I just say jeans or a skirt. He picks skirt… Well of course! He tells me that scrumptious means tasty, I literally laugh out loud, I know what the fucking word means, I just have no idea what he is saying it for & ask the context. He says “There was no context, a compliment should be used whenever felt needed” I think I have no fucking idea what he’s talking about, so I just I say I will get ready & see him at 7:00 pm.

I screenshot his profile to remind myself what he said on there too…

“33 British foodie to the extreme, who wants to be cooked for? 6FT , hardworking, laid back, genuine, fun man. Likes: Laughing / Steak McCoys / Bulldogs / Positivity / Rugby. Dislikes: People who talk right close to your face / Arrogance / Front of cashpoint queue ditherers / negativity.”

Ok so it’s not my usual style to post someone’s online profile or describe how good they look in such detail, but there you go – first time for everything…. He also has a profile anthem of Superstylin’ by Groove Armada… Old tune, but always a top track! But all of this is building this guy up a bit for me… I do this all the time… It’s so annoying!

I arrive & find a park, looking hotter than I should for this place, a short, forever new grey winter skirt with black tights, black high ankle boots, a low cut cross over black top & my usual puffer jacket. I washed my hair & was careful with some plum eye shadow. I must say I look good, but this guy could be a winner… So I want to make a good impression. After what I’ve been though, being broken up via snapchat, I need this to work out!

As I get out the car, I see a dude sitting outside by himself & assume that’s him, I walk up & realise it is, he’s got a drink already, we hug hello & he’s actually even cuter in real life than his pictures… I know I say this a lot & I was only just saying to friends after showing them my new (& what I think is pretty honest) profile, that I’m scared I’m the opposite for men, that my pictures are awesome but that I don’t look as good in real life. (Where did that self-esteem go that I just had while describing myself?! HMMMM?!) My friends told me to shut up, but of course my friends are going to say I look good…

We go inside & I order a drink, he tries to pay for it, but I get it… He tells me that he called ahead to find out if we needed a booking I say “OMG that’s so cute” under my breath, like that’s adorable… I ask about the platter, but he doesn’t order it. He asks where we should sit & suggests outside, I think I’m going to freeze but decide to brave the May weather in Adelaide, to sit outside in a quieter area that’s not just a dinner table. We sit outside chatting over the first drink & it’s fairly easy, we talk about our families, how he left all of his behind in the UK, that none of them would probably visit him out here unless he paid for them, he tells me that he built his house here from the UK before he got here which was difficult being that he was so far away. He told me that he’s working for a company similar to what he did back home. He tells me about some travel to other cities, such as Tasmania & Sydney also mentioning Melbourne. We talk about weird topics like veganism, which neither of us are close to eating even vegetarian, so not sure why we talk about it… He goes to get us another drink & orders the platter we discussed. It’s a pretty nice evening. The conversation isn’t hard but we do talk about weird stuff. We talk about steak tarte how they are traditionally served with a egg yolk. How weird are these topics!

The platter arrives, we start eating & we talk easily. I have barely been eating since the Noddy debacle, so I end up eating quite bit for the first time in a week… This is what happens with me when I’m hurt… I realise now that I liked Noody at a lot more than I thought I did.

This guy puts me at ease though & he did ask if I was one of those chicks that didn’t eat. I’m like dude, I eat, but right now I’m not eating a lot. But I do eat a bit because I am definitely not the type not to eat & my appetite is back.

I ask a lot about why he moved from London to Adelaide. I am always intrigued about why a person chooses little ol Adelaide to live, mainly because I was born here, I mean it’s a small country town really. Why would someone choose here over living in London? He says that he just liked it here the best & hated Melbourne. Tells me that he found a similar job to what he was doing back home, so he just stayed here.

OMG, could my dream of ending up with a British guy actually comes true!?

#IBD4U