A few days before the end of 2019, I see this guy enter one of the rooms in the chat app. I barely private message anyone anymore & I haven’t chatted a lot to people since ending with Silverlining the second time. As you know Tim Tam & Elvis are the only guys I’ve been with since ending with him over 2 months ago. At the time of this story, Tim Tam is still in the picture, but he’s not been talking to me much, so I have been bored, chatting elsewhere but have definitely not fucking or interested in fucking anyone else. I hate that I have lost the one thing I wanted & I know that when Silverlining & I got brought back together, I had fucked everything under the sun & while it’s none of his business, I told him & don’t want to do that again, it was unfulfilling anyway, so I don’t want to fall into that trap again.
This guy starts chatting to me & he’s cute. We have good banter, but I think it’ll be nothing. He says that he’s having a trial separation from his FWB who he’s only been seeing a few months… What the actual fuck… Firstly, who even have a “trial” separation, either you separate or you don’t. I don’t even understand how that works, I understand taking a break but not a trial separation… & also it’s his FWB… This is a fucking huge lie that I don’t even give a shit about.
I end up giving him my snapchat, which I never give out because I hate that it’s my whole name, first & last. So I try not to give it to anyone. But I do to this guy…
When we’re chatting he sends a lot of pics, lots of pics of his tatts but not really ever of his dick, which is surprising for snapchat… He keeps talking to me about having a NSA thing, I don’t want NSA. I’ve been there done that. I am not sure I could have a functioning relationship while still in love with someone else, so I say that a FWB who is actually a friend not just a fuck buddy, but he says that he wants someone he can chat too whenever, not often & fuck whenever they both can get away! But also if we get over it or find someone else, then it’s done with no drama… Like I get where he’s coming from but the thing that fucks me off most about this, is why I am always the half-time lover. The in-between relationships lover. Why aren’t I ever the one that gets the man who’s ready for a relationship? I tell him I’m not really interested in this offer from him, I am sort of kinky & like to build trust, I’ve had enough one night stands in my time that I was someone regular. He then talks about tying me up, having his way with me then leaving the room… I’m like well it’s a pity you’re only looking for a one night stand. He tells me that he isn’t looking for one night but wants casual. Well everyone here knows that I don’t just let anyone be kinky with me. A guy has to earn that with me. Silverlining was the first man that I let do things to me after only fucking him a couple of times where I trusted him so much!
We’re chatting the day Elvis comes over, Elvis is running late & being annoying taking his time getting here. TT also says he’s deleting the chat app & that’s why I needed to add him on snapchat. However, this has all pissed me off, TT is still chatting in the groups I’m in & Elvis is supposed to be here to fuck me but hasn’t rocked up yet.
Later when TT is chatting, asking how the sex was, I tell him that it was good & he says that he wants to fuck me, but I’ve probably had my fix. Well yes, I have, Elvis was very good today in the bedroom, I don’t need more sex, plus I don’t know this guy enough to invite him over! Do I even want to invite him over?
So basically with this guy, every time I don’t reply within minutes, he messages to ask if I am alive. Because it’s snapchat I send a few pictures but nothing too elaborate as I don’t want to send him much but I send him a few things to keep him interested. I am also messaging him the night I am supposed to go out with Coutry who if you read along, you’ll know he bailed because of his sunburn. This guy is ready to come over but I don’t tell him that Coutry bailed.
TT invites him self over to my house, over & over again but I tell him that I don’t know him but I do say that I am super doper horny (what a surprise) but when he sends me a picture of his cock, it’s super long, which you all know that I don’t like as they hurt me, so I prefer a nice thick smaller cock to fit inside me. I don’t think I would even get his inside me without it hurting my ovaries.
He asks again & again & says that he can be there right now, but I say I don’t know him well enough. He says at 2:13 pm that he can be at my house but will leave need to leave by 3:00 pm, but I tell him that I think that we should meet at pub first, I mean I have seen pictures of his face & body & everything but I am not sure I want to get involved with a weirdo I don’t know. He talks to me about meeting him at a park instead of a pub & we can have a quick chat then we can go back to my house & have fun… I am tempted but I am also still reeling from my last failed whatever with Silverlining.
He keeps banging on about meeting today but I keep saying how it’s too quick, by the time he gets to my house we’ll have 30 minutes. He tells me that he wasn’t to jerk off & I am being frustrating, that he will go into work later. Who starts work at 3:00 pm on New Years Eve?! Which is exactly what I say, he says he’s an engineer… Like really?!
When he gets in the car to come to my house, I haven’t even given him my address but he says that he’s driving south… WTF… I can’t believe I am doing this! He says we don’t need to fuck we could just 69 or something… Then I get “I’m super nervous” WTF. Why is he nervous?!
I give out my address & he says 20 minutes. Which mean I am going to be a one night stand or some sort of once off fuck. I bet I never see this guy again!
He comes over & in my door, he is shaking when he walks in, he’s acting like he’s never done this before.. We kiss for a bit in the hallway, I take him down the hallway to my bedroom & he’s still shaking. He says to me that we should’ve met in a pub like I had suggested. WTF?! Is he kidding… Does that mean he thinks I’m ugly or fat?! FUCK. I didn’t want to do this in the first place & now I am feeling like shit while this fuck wit can’t decide what he wants.
He jumps up & leaves… or I basically kick him out. He never speaks to me again but he stalks my snapchat stories for a few weeks before I delete him.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!
So I’m pretty sure that this guy had a partner & I was the first person he cheated with… I had used another phone to save all the snapchat messages by taking a photo of my phone rather than screenshotting.
FYI – Just so you know, he is still bouncing around the chat app in 2021… Do men think I’m that stupid to believe “I’m deleting the app, I’m so bored with it” OMG.
But this is when I actually make the resolution of sorts: No dating in 2020.