So I’m a fucking bitch! You can say it, I won’t be offended! Obviously nothing you guys can say will offend me at this point in my story, I’ve heard it all! Maybe though, this is why my karma is so bad with men! Hahaha… I have this guy in such a vulnerable position & I am not sorry about it. He’s a twat, he’s lied about his name & lied about his relationship status. I’m so stupid for thinking this guy is single. I knew there was something not right about him. I just knew it… I’ve been told I’m intuitive & I should trust it… I never do & look where I end up, a dick in my mouth that’s attached to yet another liar.
FUCK though – the look on his face… He sits up & I just keep sucking, it’s like some sort of movie… You know the scene in Swordfish when Hugh Jackman is getting a blowjob with a gun to his head?! Well this is sort of like that, although that wasn’t my aim or my intention, it just sort of happened like that. Looking back on it now, I feel a little bad for him & also realise what an unsafe position I have put myself in too… There could be an explanation for his relationship status on Facebook. Maybe they just broke up? Maybe they’re on a break? I’ll probably get a lie from him saying either of those things when in actual fact they are probably still together…
To my surprise, he says that she doesn’t suck his cock much & definitely not like I do, he says that he loves how I suck his cock (Another glowing review!) but he stops me now & we sit to chat… Well I have two choices, I’ve already fucked the guy so no matter what he’s already cheated on her. We end up having sex & then go outside once we’re dressed & talk some more. I really like this guy, obviously now he’s going to be nothing but a friend but at least I know & am not being lied too constantly. He says that they’ve been together six months (ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!), he’s just moved in with her as he’s selling his house (that explains the two addresses bullshit) & he’s also cheated on her before (SERIOUSLY!). He tells me that she knows about the other woman & chose to stay with him but as she’s a nurse doing mainly nightshifts he’s always by himself at night. He says that they live with her sister & her boyfriend so she is always spying on him otherwise he would stay over the night. He leaves & I think that I’m never going to hear from him again. No big loss, though he is a funny guy, I knew there was something too good to be true about him though!
The next day I get a message from him saying I freaked him out but if I am happy to be his friend, hang out casually he won’t lie or spin bullshit to me, I explained that I hate being lied too & hate tht bullshit even more.
He invites himself over one night, messaging for hours that he’s on his way, I ask him if he means real time or T**y time? He laughs & tells me that he’s never on time… This is about when I think this dude is on something… I am pretty sure he’s off his head on drugs. When he ricks up at my house I am in bed because it’s 10:00 pm on a Wednesday night, he’s been messaging since I finished work saying another or hour or he’ll be a few minutes etc. We do have sex, good sex but he doesn’t cum at all – another sign that there is something up with this dude & drugs. I have YouTube on & he starts picking songs & we lay there just cuddling. TO be honest, even though I know he’s with someone else it’s really nice just laying there with someone. I hate that I want this for myself… FUCK.
Another night, maybe the next night or a few days later, he comes over, it’s a hot summer night & we’re sitting outside chatting, just like mates, having a few beers. He asked to have a shower at my house which I am ok with, however he leaves his razor & shower gel behind in the bathroom… He also leaves a bunch of groceries behind & a friend jokes that he’s moving in – preparing for when she kicks him to the kerb… OMG – I never thought of that but maybe he was subtly leaving things behind on purpose?!
Again I am sure that he is off his head on drugs but I am honestly just enjoying the company when he suggests that we sit outside naked. It’s a beautiful night outside & so we both get undressed, I feel a bit awkward as I strip off my clothes but sitting on my back stairs naked with beer when he kisses me & makes a move obviously we have sed on the stairs, its probably the most painful position I’ve ever fucked in… Have you ever fucked on wooden deck stairs?! We then move over to the chairs outside & he decides to bend me over my car bonnet & fuck me against it, which somehow makes me squirt – the squirt stains the cement & is there for a long time before it washes or wears away! When I’m being bitten by mosquitoes, I decide to go inside, it’s a weeknight again & I am wondering when he’ll go home but we go into my bedroom & I laze around sleepily on the bed, he cuddles me for a bit while he choses songs on YouTube, picking random Usher songs & then he jumps up out of bed & starts dancing around my room… It’s 3:00 am, what the fuck is this dude on! I am not opposed to drugs, I’ve taken my fair share however it is a week night, I am not sure why this man has taken anything to come dance in my bedroom. When he sees that I am sleepy, he decides to go home. He says that he’ll see me around which is our usual goodbye.

The next night he says that he’s going to come over but as I am waiting for ages for him again as usual – not that I’m doing anything at home anyway but then he says that he’s cleaning his house & can’t come to mine but I’m welcome to come to his house that he’s selling & hang out. I figure why not, when he says that he’s out getting drinks but asks me to bring everything besides the vodka, I also pack up his left over groceries & take them with me, no way is this man thinking he’s got me as his fall back when she dumps his sorry ass… I don’t think I’ve told you either but he lost his job, to be honest he’s the type that is so hard done by, the type that no job is good enough for him. He’s got the woe is me attitude, that the world owes him something, that he should be in a better job but his bosses are cunts, not that he isn’t a hard worker or putting in effort… He doesn’t see what he does but I can sort of see why he was fired.
I get to his house, it’s again another hot late January night, I pull up no the other side of the road… His house is in a new estate, one of those estates where people all park on the road as their long skinny houses are too small to hold all their crap so their garages are full of all the shit. His house is a long skinny house & I walk in & it’s really nice, but I instantly recognise that it’s been styled by a stylist. But it looks a bit off – her cards are on the kitchen bench & OMG the house is kind of a disaster… He has some cleaning products & while he’s putting up a shelf ( that I don’t really understand why he needs a shelf in the laundry to sell the house, I go with it) & then I start cleaning. I am cleaning this fuckers house… It’s open tomorrow & it’s a disaster. The stylist is clearly on crack, the house isn’t clean – like cupboard doors, bathrooms & floors need a huge clean… I pour some vodkas & just get to cleaning. Where the fuck is this guys family?! Where the fuck is this guys girlfriend?! Why isn’t anyone helping him?! Clearly he’s drowning in his to do list… I feel so sorry for him… So the fuck wit I am, I stay at his house & help… I help clean & we end up spending house rearranging the furniture to make it more functional, this is when I suggest that he needs some colour in the bathroom, like my green towels – next minute we’re in my car, he’s driving because I refuse & we’re driving back to my place to get pretty much everything from my beautifully styled bathroom & we’re taking it back – including live plants – to his house to restyle the already styled house… WTF! I am such a wanker…
#IBD4U