Motocross #26

Who knew this guy would come back? Over the course of about the last 2 years, Motocross has looked at every snapchat story I post & it’s like he has a notification that I have posted one because he generally is the first one to look at the story. Every. Single. Time! Now I don’t post much exciting stuff, since getting dogs, most posts are about my dogs (Yes I got puppies!) Hahaha but I mainly post to see who’s stalking me still, which Foodland is too! Hahaha… Weirdos.

After I have a friend live with me for 3 months at the end of 2020 & it ends disastrously, by her moving out like I had been the partner that abused her, I post a snapchat of the room back to how it was before her & her daughter moved in. Motocross replies to this snapchat – which he doesn’t normally do, so I am intrigued. He asks if I’m living alone or something similar. It’s odd because we haven’t spoken in years but this simple question leads to us having a week or two long conversation & him trying to be cheeky but failing, him insinuating that he wants to come over etc. But when I say “Aren’t you a little far away to come over?” because remember he’s from California & he says that he’s been back for 3 weeks but he’s in Melbourne this weekend. Of course he is! This is the weekend I go away for much needed rest to visit a friend with the dogs in country Victoria so I am not available anyway & I wish he was available just
so that I could say no.

Another week of chatter goes by, including a little awkward cheeky talk – talking about sex in his car or sucking his dick, but it’s hard to be cheeky with him for some reason, like he doesn’t give it back or seem interested when you do talk cheeky, maybe he’s embarrassed or something but I don’t know. But he always insinuates that he’s talking about sex, until I’m direct about it then he acts coy.

So when asks me if he can ask me a personal question, I’m intrigued about what he could possibly ask, but it’s just the standard question if I am on the pill that he’s asked me before, so instead of going into all the detail of my tubes being tied etc, I just say I’m not on the pill but I have contraception covered. I reckon this may have been a question the first time around too, almost the exact same way. He talks about the fact that he’s had sex since me (not sure why he needed to tell me that) but he hasn’t has sex without a condom since me… I’m not sure I believe a word that comes out his mouth to be honest but I have no reason not to believe him & I think that if this time if I do end up seeing him, I just won’t get as caught up in it all, like I did last time. I did really like him, I lusted after him but then Silverlining happened & I was pulled back to the harsh reality of the hilariousness that is my life!

On a Thursday after we’d been chatting daily for weeks, he says to me that he’s made a decision (as he struggles with decisions) & says Friday. I just say it’s Thursday dude & he says that he’s decided that he’s going to see me Friday. So of course me being me, thinks about what I will wear, what I will do, I shave & wash my hair, clean my house, make sure the house doesn’t smell like dogs but he starts acting a bit weird. So we’ve been chatting constantly, he’s also been saving the chat. On snapchat you have to click on the chat to save it, I have it saved for 24 hours but he’s been saving each block of conversation. However, he stops doing that & it all deletes… I don’t even know how this happens but only my side of the conversation is left behind & I can’t unsave it… He stops writing messages that I can reply too, his messages are short & sharp, no reply necessary but I try to keep the conversation going thinking he’s either going to bail on tonight or he’ll say I didn’t invite him over. Whatever I can’t even be bothered worrying. He’s got a screw loose!

As you all know I have a small hobby beauty business & it’s Friday night I have a friend/client in the beauty room to do her lashes & as we’re finishing up about 7:00 pm, I hear my phone vibrate with the tell tale sign of my motion detector camera at my house (which I put up after the T**y debacle & probably should’ve had for a long time with Noodle/Silverlining drama too) & I say to my friend, surely he’s not just rocked up at my house?! I look at the camera & see a white car on the road, I can only see the tip of it. He hasn’t even looked at my last message, surely he’s not just rocked up without a word?! It’s been almost 2 years since we last saw each other & he’s just rocked up at my house… WTF.

He messages me on snapchat… I click to his message on snapchat & miss him walking off in the camera but I get a notification that someone is at my front door, he says “so I guess you’re not home then.” I explain that I am at the gym & will be home soon that he should come back or to just wait there (not knowing that he’s actually already left).

However as I’m driving home realising I have no make up on, the dogs need feeding & will be nuts when I get home, when I see his car at the lights opposite me, I am going to have to drive right past him. FUCK… At least I know where he is & I will have some time to get some make up on & the dogs settled before he comes back, if he comes back!?

I race around, I put on a little make up as while I was away this weekend I got mozzie bites on my face, I cover them up & race to feed the dogs & settle them down, when I hear him pull up & I am shaking, things have always been awkward with this guy but I did really like him. At a time in my life when I thought I couldn’t like another guy ever, I actually liked him. This time I am going to keep my emotions to myself, I am not getting attached.

Besides he’s already told me in his message tonight, even though he’s coming back that he can’t stay long – not this old chestnut! Doesn’t matter, I don’t want him to stay long, to be honest I am not even sure what I am doing. Do I even want to do this? This guy was a compulsive liar… One that I couldn’t even figure out. Maybe that’s the intrigue there, I figure out most men, I mean I figured out T**y within a few chats but this guy, I can’t work out what his deal is… I want to know if his story is true & I wonder if we chat if I can catch him out.

He looks exactly the same, only now he’s 35. He is wearing baggyish cream shorts, socks pulled up with slide shoe things, he’s got his usual racing style jacket & a hat on – he looks like he’s trying to dress like he’s 25. He looks identical to how he was & I wonder if he thinks the same about me being that I am the smallest I’ve ever been & I honestly think this is the best I have ever looked including my face & body.

He walks in & doesn’t hug or kiss me or really show any signs that he’s interested in me or happy to be here – his usual entrance. My dogs are excited to see him & he doesn’t pat them, he keeps his hands in his pockets & tells them to get down. He tells me later that he hasn’t patted a dog since his dog died on his birthday – which is something he told me almost 18 months ago so at least something is true to him.

Although this is weird to me because I had joked about the fact he used to fall asleep on my couch & that he wouldn’t be able to sleep himself because the dogs would want to cuddle him & he seemed ok with that. But now seeing him with the dogs, the way people are with animals tells you something about a person. Even when one of the puppies (remember at this time they are only 5 months old) one of them has been outside in the dirt & comes running in & jumps on the couch, he jumps up saying “mud” or something & I’m like calm down it’s just mud, but the way he reacted was like she had shit on her paws or something… He stands up with his hands in his pockets & acts like a fucking animal hater, not someone who adored their dog.

He keeps saying that he won’t pat them because of his dog…I don’t really understand how you can be in the presence of a puppy & not want to pat it, if you’re a dog lover… No matter what happened with your dog or what, all the dogs want is to be patted then they settle. Remembering that I had just walked in the door so they are nuts for a bit until then get their pats with dinner & then they settle… This is weird to me. They say never trust someone that your pets don’t like, however my dogs love everyone, they’re puppies but I wonder if the saying is the same in reverse, never trust someone who isn’t kind to animals? I mean it’s not that he’s not kind, but he’s just weird around them… I ask J-Lo about it later which he doesn’t think it’s weird, saying that people react to their dog dying in different ways…

Motocross leaves after an hour of being awkward, just sitting on the couch, talking easily with me about life, my job how I was fired, what I’m doing now, what he’s been up too – there are no holes in his story from what he said to me 2 years ago, to now… As he leaves he says he’ll message, which he doesn’t – of course…

I message a few days later mainly because I am so intrigued by this guy & he says that someone from the race this weekend is in a coma so he’s been at the hospital for days… I don’t know what it is about him, but it’s weird that he’s come over & now not talking to me again….


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