Cowboy #2

I know I said at the end of Cowboy that I’d never have to see him again, but to my surprise, he did message me a bit after the coffee date. We were sporadic, not chatting for days, which is fine with me. I didn’t need to message someone everyday, I’d already been caught in that trap before with Noodle obviously. But it was kind of annoying as Cowboy would chat a lot then disappear for weeks on end then come back saying he’s so busy. I hate when people say they are so busy, like I’m not busy too?! I still get time to write back to a fucking message. You don’t have to message me all day but at least once in a few weeks would be nice & actually make me feel a bit better, like I’m not just a hook up!

He messages me to ask where I’ll be on a date near Christmas & I am going to be in Adelaide, he says that he is too & would like to catch up & have me spend some time with him in his hotel. I think maybe why not? But then he disappears for a few weeks again, coming back yet again saying how busy he has been – yeah dude, we’re all busy!! It’s the week before he’s in Adelaide & of course he starts messaging again to catch up, I say that I’m having a drink with a friend (date with LiveFastDieFun) but maybe afterwards I’ll catch up with him.

I don’t recall him actually asking me to meet him so I just say I’m on my way home expecting him to say come meet me, but he writes back to say that it’s a shame we didn’t catch up but maybe next time. I said ‘Well we could, you never asked’ he then proceeds to send me a screenshot of the conversation where he asked & I said I’d let him know… Jeez I’m so stupid sometimes!

So I say that I’ll meet him at the pub near his hotel, he says that he’s just finishing up & will be there. But I’m waiting for him for like 15 minutes. I was hoping he’d buy the drinks being it’s the day before pay day for me, but I look like a loser so I get myself a beer while waiting. When he rocks up he just sneaks up behind me but doesn’t kiss me hello or anything, just goes to get himself a drink. He sits down & the conversation flows more easily. This is just what I need after that boring date.

We have 3 more drinks & I think that I should stop since I have to drive, he does offer me another one though, but I decline. We somehow get on to a topic of asking which one? Like:

  • Ford or Holden?
  • Winter or summer?
  • Chicken breast or chicken thigh?
  • Peanut butter or Vegemite? (Where he says Promite! Gross!)
  • Coke or Pepsi?

The funny thing is that we never pick the same thing, I ask him heaps of them when we get on the topic, which I can’t remember all of them now but only once do we agree so I high five him! He also tells me that he’s a liberal voter (we all remember Die Hard Liberal – at least he’s a bit different) but I realise that all our core values are very different. Ok so maybe we’re not going to be a lasting thing, but for tonight he’s just what I need. I know that this will piss Noodle off if he ever finds out, but do you know what, he’s pissed me off so much that I just want to hurt Noodle as much as he’s hurt me… Stupid part is that, that Noodle will never know what I’ve done since him… All in vain to fill that void…

The pub closes at 11:30 pm & I say I should probably head off, so he walks me to the corner, when I say goodbye but he says he’ll walk me to the car, I say it’s ok, I’m just across the road & I kiss him on the cheek & hug him, when he says that he should’ve invited me up to his room, so I say ‘You still can!’ then I do the unthinkable & lean in to kiss him. We kiss in the street for a few minutes before I’m aware we’re standing by the pub with people still in it & there are 2 people nearby too. So we stop kissing, he takes my hand in his & we walk back to the his hotel.

I hate this part, walking through the hotel feeling like a hooker. But we’re holding hands so maybe we just look like a couple? We get to his room, I look at his view – which is shit! Then we start kissing & undressing. He’s a good kisser, but he’s short, like he’s 5’3. We undress each other & he goes down on me – really well, I will admit that he did a good job there. Then he says ‘It’s my turn’ & poked his cock in my face. He kept playing with me the whole time, but because I was so sensitive, I had to squirm away so I could concentrate on what I was supposed to be doing. I really hate when guys aren’t that vocal when you have their cock in your mouth, I mean I try to give verbal encouragement so they know when they do something good & try to react differently when they do something not so great. He doesn’t make any noise at all… Does he like what I’m doing? Who the fuck knows!

He asks if we should use a condom, I say ‘always use a condom’ then he gets his brand new box (which takes him ages to open) & puts one on. We have sex which is pretty good, then he lies down next to me & puts his hand over me rubbing my skin as we just lay there – I like when guys aren’t scared to touch you after sex. I’m not falling in love with him – of course, so it’s ok to be affectionate & it’s nice to know they want to touch you. Not more than 5 minutes rest & he’s kissing me passionately again, making me cum with his fingers before jumping up for another condom. This time he’s behind me, I’m on my knees, he spanks my ass a little but to be honest, for a Cowboy, I thought he’d actually spank me, not just tap my butt. The sex is good again & I basically fall asleep.

Cowboy never regret.png

FUCK! I fell asleep. I wake up after he lies on the bed, so I get up go to the bathroom & realise that my period that had stopped, has returned from Private Party weekend, I hope he didn’t notice! Anyway I get dressed then kiss him goodbye.

No, correction! I hate this part more! Leaving the hotel after you’ve just fucked someone, feeling like an actual hooker! It’s 1:30 am & I am walking out the doors playing on my phone because I don’t want to make any eye contact with anyone. As I walk to my car, Cowboy is chatting in my group on the chat app but never messages me.

The next day he messages & we chat sporadically for the next few days until I’m out with friends on Saturday night & I send a message saying I wish he was in Adelaide tonight. Not 10 minutes later, I tell a friend that I caught up with him & she shows me a picture of him that he sent to her, it was taken when he was at the pub with me! Now, I’m not stupid, he can be chatting to other people, fucking other people, whatever he wants – we’re not exclusive, but fuck me, as if he is chatting to someone while actually sitting opposite me, just before I fucked him! Do I not deserve his undivided attention while he is actually with me? It’s so disrespectful. I am so fucking angry… He was chatting to someone else while on a date with me?! FUCK… I didn’t think my love life could get any worse!?

I don’t know what is wrong with me but I cry like a baby over this, not because I like him but because I am so fucking epically single, meeting douches like this, thinking that I have their attention while on a date with them, because Noodle (& other guys) always tell me that I can get any guy I want… Turns out I can’t even have a guy for a few hours to devote themselves to me, that’s all I asked of this guy…

I call him out on it, he says it was just a pic of his face, which I know because I have seen it, but I don’t care if it was his toe – you don’t message other women while on a date, especially when he told me he was messaging clients!!! He apologises, realising his error, but man I feel like such a fucking dick! I fucked him like an hour after he was messaging someone else! I never speak to him again & he is deleted eventually from my group.

Noodle was right about Cowboy.

Fuck, I hate even more!

#IBD4U

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