LiveFastDieFun

I’d been chatting to this guy for a while, he is younger, by a few years & quite cute, & to be frank with you. he’s the only guy chatting to me on the website I am on, that wasn’t just after a hook up, so I keep chatting to him. I alluded to the fact that we should meet up because I also don’t want to get into another texting relationship again. He agrees but we can’t meet for like a week due to me being away for work then the Private Party Weekend. So we planned a night out straight after work for a drink & perhaps dinner.

He says that he’ll let me know where he is as his job location changes a lot, that was ok with me, I said I’d just work later & meet him whenever rather than going home, then having to go back into the city. He says he’s taken his change of clothes which I think is so cute, I had done the same but it’s cute he had to tell me that – I wouldn’t tell a guy that. At least he wasn’t just using the “I’ll let you know” excuse & looking for a reason to bail. He seems genuine.

He messages to say to say he won’t be long but when I google he’s a 45 minute drive from the city, so I try to choose a place in the north of the city to make it easier for him & say that we’ll just meet at 6:00 pm. I am not far away so I get changed & leave work with 15 minutes to spare. As I get in the car at my work, he messages, so I check it to see where he is when he says that he’s already there sitting by himself. FUCK.

I tell him I have just left work & that I’ll be about 15 minutes. He says that traffic was good for him so he’ll just wait. (what else is he going to do?! Hahaha) But I get every set of fucking lights, my GPS also wants to take me through the city so I ignore it & go a weird way – which probably takes longer. I arrive at 6:10 pm, then can’t find a park, I hate being late so I pay for bloody parking, instead of finding a street park & run across the road.

I see him sitting at the table so when I walk up, I apologise for being late expecting him to stand up so I can kiss his cheek (no longer do I need to have the conversation about what to do when we met, I will just go in for a hug & kiss on the cheek! New confident me – remember I had this conversation with Origin) However he doesn’t stand up, so he makes it awkward & I just offer to get him a drink, because I’m going into buy a drink, he has half a glass there so I think he’ll say no, which is good because my funds are supremely low, but he says yes. Dammit, I think ok I’ve got $15 – it’s the day before pay day I’m always living paycheck to paycheck, but that should get 2 beers, NOPE. I need $17 dammit, so I put it on my newly paid off credit card.

We chat relatively easily but he looks so young, he’s quite cute but there isn’t a spark there for me, I gather he can feel it too – I mean we probably look stupid together, I don’t look my age but I don’t look in my 20’s. When I go to the bathroom, I come back & ask if he wants to head off, only an hour in, but he doesn’t stand up so what else can I do but sit back down. I start scratching my foot, I think I’m being bitten by mosquitoes. He offers another drink but I say no, then he jumps up to go to the toilet & as he’s walking off he’s like “I won’t be offended if you want to go now” OMG I feel so bad that I just say something like we’ll see when you get back. He comes back & sits down, I’m scratching like mad & say we should head off, I’m getting too bitten. We walk off down the road & I think he’s going to walk me across the road but he just says he’s parked down the street, so I turn back & give him just a hug goodbye.

I move onto my next event for the evening (see next blog – that I forgot about… Whoops) & get a message from LiveFastDieFun, but I don’t log back onto the app until lunch time the next day where I see his message saying that he won’t been offended if I don’t want to see him again. I feel bad, I’ve had this done to me a million times but I don’t think I’ve ever really had to do it. Usually if I don’t feel the spark I just never hear from them again. So I just say that I had a good time, but didn’t feel the spark & wish him well on his search. I was going to say we should be friends, but lets face it, I’m not going to be friends with him. He says he understands & think if the circumstances were different then it might’ve been different. I don’t bother replying. I wish I felt something for him, but I don’t want to waste anymore time with the wrong person. Yep, another one bites the dust!

#IBD4U