Clichès

After dating for more than a decade with a few peaks & troughs, many of my friends, particularly the ones in relationships, love a good ol Clichè. It’s also very interesting how when that person says a clichè to you, they use some sort of  hand gesture & act like that is the first time those words have ever been spoken to another human being. Like dude, you are not the Dali Lama.

So here’s a list of what NOT to say to someone dating or someone recently single:

• It’ll happen when you least expect it!
• He’s just around the corner!
• There’s plenty more fish in the sea!
• Any guy would be lucky to have you!
• He won’t come knocking on your door, get out there & meet people!
• You have to put yourself out there!
• How are you still single?
• The grass isn’t always greener in a relationship!
• You’re too fussy/picky!
• Your time will come!

OMG, if I hear any of those things again, it will be too soon!

You know I had a great aunty, who was my god mother. She recently passed away & she never married & had kids. I often wonder if I am her of my generation. She once told me that she fell in love with someone who was married I believe & he broke her heart. She never recovered. I remember when things ended with Boyfriend, she told me not to become like her. Now almost 12 years later, I am still single & wondering if I am too damaged for a real relationship?

Lets be honest, there is nothing you can say in the situation so I get why people use clichès etc, but please just stop. I think I’d rather people just listen & say nothing that tell me that I have to have faith.

Some advice I wish I wasn’t given too:

• Give him a go
• He might be waiting for your text/call
• Stop looking & he will find you
• Stop looking online, meet people organically, face to face

In my experience, if any of this was as easy as people say it is, then I wouldn’t be single. I get asked all the time why I’m single & I don’t know why. But my gut has always been right. When I haven’t got a text back from someone, it usually means they’re ghosting me. Not that they are waiting for me to message. There’s another clichè that if he isn’t messaging you back, he’s just not that into you!

I know my friends all mean well & I love them for it & I know that they just want the best for me to see me happy in a relationship, however, there are times when I just want to scream “WHY AM I SINGLE?!”

#IBD4U