I was intrigued about Rope enough that I decided to get out of my comfort zone & go to another class on my own this time. Noodle isn’t coming back to claim me, I have to move on from that… As much as it hurts & as much as I want to run to him & have him comfort me – beg him to be with me, I have to find something new to occupy my time, I have to try new things. He would hate this, is that why I like it? I have also recently used an app that is not even for dating but just for meeting new people. I went to couple of events & made one friend but other than that it was a bit of a waste of my time. Maybe I need to put in more effort or maybe I just need more time to be alone. I mean I wasn’t going to these events just to meet men, I went to an event purely for women, thinking I could meet some new girl friends, but yeah it didn’t really work out that way. Maybe I needed to go to a few more than just 2 events, but anyway.
I’d know that the rope teacher who tied me up will be there, Ripples, so I wouldn’t be entirely alone. I also knew the guy who ran it after I’d seen him a few times now & at Sleezeball. I go along & only really know those 2 there, but there is another chick that I chat too on the chat app who asks my my nickname on the chat app & I smile, feeling a little shy knowing some of the things I share on the chat app. I actually also become a member of the Rope club on my second night! I end up with the beginners again & used a model for everyone else to see. Ripples does some fancier ties on me so I am not always just having my wrist tied for the entire 2 hours, which is the beginning of every class. It’s good that he’s keen to show me more ties as I don’t want to just be stuck waiting for a rigger & end up with all the newbies every week.
He shows me a tie on my leg, to see what that feels like, it’s so tight, but I love the feeling of it, the restrictiveness of not being able to move. If you get into the right head space, then it’s not causing me claustrophobia, it’s all a bit of a mind game.
I talk to some other people there, getting to know people & when I realise that one of the chicks running the thing also does wax, I ask her to do something for me, she says she will & even can picture what she will do & as my nickname is an animal, I ask her to do that on me one time. She says yes, next time I’m at Switch she’ll do it for me. How exciting! I love the wax pictures, so I can’t wait for this!
I am well & truly in this world now & I’m hooked. However I don’t want to have a guy act like Noodle & say things like “You need it – I can’t give you what you want” well, I don’t need it, but I like it – this is fun but if I met someone not so kinky, then I wouldn’t need to be here.. I am still here trying to fill that void, let’s not forget that fucking void in my heart still… But my kinky lifestyle will adapt to what the guy I am with enjoys too, it’s not all about me. I always enjoyed what Noodle & I did, it was different from every other guy & I had a lot of firsts with him (even though he never believed that!), so I was definitely never dissatisfied with him ever & I’m sure that if I had more time with Noodle & he was single, our kinkiness would’ve been a lot different, but we only had short times together with lots of car sex towards the end.
I can’t wait to go back to Rope, I do want to find a more permanent rigger so I can be suspended eventually & stop having just my wrist tied. I am also bruised for a few days from the rope just being on there for a short period of time. It was tight but I didn’t realise I would bruise like that so easily… I love a naughty bruise! (Not a hickey, but a fun thigh bruise!)
This is becoming something I like doing actually, so weirdly. It’s not about sex for me, I mean it could be but I like that it’s not just a sexual thing – especially at the classes. I don’t have a rigger, again so I am used a lot as the display bunny a lot of the time when I go, which has become weekly, giving up Mondays at the gym to be here. One time I get paired with this young single rigger. He’d never been before & I’m not claiming to be an expert, but he was a bit nervous but I got along with him, it wasn’t awkward like the first guy I ever got paired with.
He ties my wrist only for ages, he struggles to get the tie right, he just keeps saying how stupid he feels, it made me think that that’s how Noodle would feel & would act. So I reassure this guy to let him know he is doing a good job & that he’d get it. When he finally mastered the tie, he said he ‘felt like a king’ I literally laugh out loud. That’s so hilarious.
When he goes to the toilet, Ripples gets another rigger – lets call him Bor who was free to tie both my legs together to get me to feel that feeling. I explained to the guy that I bruise easily & he says that he can make sure I bruise, he trundles off & get a stick, I think what the actual fuck is he going to do with that, hit my shins? I’m not sure I’m ready for a stick to the shins… FUCK..
Anyway I trust the process & trust Ripples who has asked this guy, Bor, to do it. He ties both my legs together, really tight, I can feel that I am straining even when I try to straighten my legs a little. He then takes the stick & I think fuck, this is going to hurt, he is going to hit my shins. But he doesn’t. He slides the stick between the rope & twists. FUCK that bloody hurts. I’m wincing in agony but he just moves it up & down the rope at every join, doing the same.
I am in agony, but it’s a sweet weird agony. I enjoy it. I can feel that I am going to be majorly bruised from this. As he unties the rope I say that it hurts where one of the ropes have been & so he presses his finger into the dent & looks at me smiling – He reminds me of Noodle… SHIT. He then shows me why he has spiky wrist bands on, by using them to rub my sensitive skin from the rope. I love it & wonder to myself quietly, why the fuck I enjoy pain so much. I am so twisted. Hahaha.
I do bruise for 2 weeks after that, they are all over my legs that when it’s hot I have no choice but to wear a skirt where they all see the bruises asking me what the hell happened, I am honest with most people, because I am not hiding this side of me anymore. I mean if they are reading the blog, they will eventually read all about it anyway.
I probably won’t write about each week of rope as a blog post moving forward, but if something interesting happens, I will write about it – but I do go weekly. It’s technically not dating, but who knows what might happen! It might be that void filler I’ve been looking for… I miss chatting to Noodle but at least for one night of the week I don’t think about him.