Have you ever had the sweetest guy ever, that wants to date you but for you there is no attraction at all? No matter how many times he tells you how gorgeous you are & how many times you end up kissing him, there is still no attraction for you. However he’s on the backburner all the time because after all the shit you’ve been though with guys that you are attracted too, he’s there to pump you up & make you feel good about yourself.
Maloo always seems to know when I am down in the dumps & will message me, or make sure I know I am gorgeous. He’s like the perfect guy, just not in the wrapping that I want, which sound superficial, but he’s just not my type. I wish on so many occasions that I felt something for him, he always picked me up from events when I drunk text him.
Even if I post on Facebook that I am home alone just drinking, he would just pop over. He’s not really a stalker but he did always come over without asking & would just show up whenever I was feeling shit or some guy had screwed me over.
One night I text him after my four-year drought of sex & ask him to just come over, for no string attached, sex with me. He agreed & he comes over as he always would but when we started kissing, I tried, foolishly to get him to have sex with me but he wouldn’t. I was so drunk having been out with my family all night but never could get him to put on a condom & have sex with me. I don’t really remember what happened with him that night but we watch Entourage & he leaves.
Weeks, maybe months later I am drunk & stuck at a local pub with a friend when he is texting me, I tell him which pub I’m at & he randomly rocks up. He drives me & my friend home to my house, she goes into bed, I stay outside talking to him. I ask him why he didn’t have sex with me that night because it made me feel so shit. At that point in my life I’d never ever been so blatant with a guy that I just wanted casual sex.
Nothing ever happens with him, I blame the fact that he has a black ute not a green one which he knows isn’t true, but we both know that there is no chemistry there for me. We lose contact a bit, which gives him a small chance to move on, which he does. He finds a girlfriend & she’s pretty, they seem to get serious.
One night we’re texting & he comes to pick me up from wherever I am, drunk, again! We go for a drive & end up at the beach sitting in his car. When he kisses me I am at a low point in my life & kiss him back for a while. It’s the first & only time I’ve ever kissed a guy I knew was in a relationship. I hate myself for it & I stop all contact with him as much as I can, I cannot believe that I have done it. It’s by far the worst thing I had ever done.